I really enjoyed Transporter 3 I mean Crank. It's got a good plot, moves very fast, and has just about the greatest setup for an action movie of all time. I also fully buy the explanation for why Statham was so specifically drugged: that his rival thought he was an adrenaline junkie, and he wanted Statham to die in the most ironically humiliating way possible.
The biggest problem, though, is that Crank is NOT Tranporter 3, meaning Jet Li's usual stunt/fight choreographer, Kwai "Corey" Yuen of the Yuen brothers wasn't involved. So when it comes time for a fight scene, there isn't one. Instead Statham just runs up to the bad guy and snaps his neck in one move, even though it's virtually impossible to snap someone's neck (especially in midair when you're both falling...you need to brace yourself against the ground to get the inertia needed to rip the Trapezius muscle). In a world where Hard Boiled, The Killer, The Matrix, and Equilibrium have set the standard for gunfights with disarms and shootdodges, all Crank shows is people standing across from each other, pointing and shooting with no technique. The only cool move is what the main bad guy does when the grenade lands near him and he yells "get down!" So that's the real tragedy of Crank: it could have been the greatest action movie of all time except it didn't have any action.
The other main problem is that there was no way to present a satisfactory ending. If Statham survives, it's cheesy, and if he dies, it's depressing. The scriptwriter didn't exactly solve this paradox.
To nitpick, I didn't need an explanation of what the poison does every fifteen minutes. I got it from the trailer, thanks.
Also, what's up with the name "Chev Chelios." If that's a reference to something, I don't get it.
I still enjoyed it because the plot and humor stand up without the action, and the movie respects its adrenaline theme by not wasting the audience's time.
The biggest problem, though, is that Crank is NOT Tranporter 3, meaning Jet Li's usual stunt/fight choreographer, Kwai "Corey" Yuen of the Yuen brothers wasn't involved. So when it comes time for a fight scene, there isn't one. Instead Statham just runs up to the bad guy and snaps his neck in one move, even though it's virtually impossible to snap someone's neck (especially in midair when you're both falling...you need to brace yourself against the ground to get the inertia needed to rip the Trapezius muscle). In a world where Hard Boiled, The Killer, The Matrix, and Equilibrium have set the standard for gunfights with disarms and shootdodges, all Crank shows is people standing across from each other, pointing and shooting with no technique. The only cool move is what the main bad guy does when the grenade lands near him and he yells "get down!" So that's the real tragedy of Crank: it could have been the greatest action movie of all time except it didn't have any action.
The other main problem is that there was no way to present a satisfactory ending. If Statham survives, it's cheesy, and if he dies, it's depressing. The scriptwriter didn't exactly solve this paradox.
To nitpick, I didn't need an explanation of what the poison does every fifteen minutes. I got it from the trailer, thanks.
Also, what's up with the name "Chev Chelios." If that's a reference to something, I don't get it.
I still enjoyed it because the plot and humor stand up without the action, and the movie respects its adrenaline theme by not wasting the audience's time.
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