michaeljharvey Reviews

28 Days Later (2002)

Strangely enough, a stylish and beautiful zombie film

[9/10 · 18 January 2009]

28 Days Later is not based on a stunningly original premise. A virus breaks out, it turns people into bloodthirsty "zombies", and we quickly have an end-of-the-world scenario on our hands. A band of survivors must go on a dangerous road trip, hoping to find salvation. Anyone who has watched a few horror or sci-fi movies has certainly seen something similar.

However, what sets this movie apart is the brilliant direction of Danny Boyle and absolutely amazing cinematography and camera work. The lighting of every scene is beautifully considered. There isn't one amateurish shot that breaks the dark, somber mood of the film. The camera is almost always put at an unexpected angle or in an unusual position, making even the most mundane scene seem special. Every filming location is perfectly considered, from inner-city London to the British countryside. Even the eccentric soundtrack helps to accent this wonderfully atmospheric film.

The characters and plot are fairly simplistic, but they work well here. Some overarching themes of mankind's need for hope and humanity's dark nature are explored, which does help to add a little meat to the rather basic story. It's strange to say, but this is an artistic and thoughtful zombie film. Horror fans expecting the traditional cheap tactics (gore, female nudity, jump scares, etc...) should avoid at all costs. This is a stylish horror film that transcends the genre to become a modern classic.

New Guy (2003)

The Twilight Zone meets Office Space

[7/10 · 6 January 2009]

This film has some wonderfully funny observations of office life for anyone who's ever been the "new guy" in that sort of environment. The unfriendly coworkers, the eccentric boss, the confusing "insider" lingo you're supposed to somehow understand, the hastily (and poorly) described first assignment, strange stories about why the previous guy left your position, etc... As someone who has had more than his share of office jobs, the challenges faced by the new guy really hit home with me. Every new company seems a little bizarre and creepy when you first start.

As the story progresses, we begin to realize things truly are a little bizarre and creepy at this company and the plot veers off into Twilight Zone territory. Things become impossibly convoluted and surreal as our protagonist is accidentally trapped in the office for the night. Without going into too much detail, let's just say there's a life-and-death battle with the cleaning guy, remote control cars patrol the hallways and this all (somehow) eventually leads to office workers performing a human sacrifice. I found myself wondering how the writers could possibly tie it all together at the end. In truth, the conclusion is a bit unimaginative. It uses the classic ambiguous storytelling device we've seen millions of times before: "It was all a dream... Or was it??" I appreciate how the human sacrifice element becomes a clever play on being asked to "sell your soul" for the company, but the ending left me a little cold.

Overall, this is a neat, little movie. I'm willing to forgive the ending as the film otherwise offers a good deal of clever writing and observation. Made on a ridiculously low budget, it manages to be far more entertaining than many big-budget movies from major studios.

Session 9 (2001)

One of the best psychological horror movies ever made

[9/10 · 4 January 2009]

Session 9 is a masterpiece of psychological horror and is intelligent enough to let the viewer's imagination do most of the work. The setting is an abandoned mental hospital. An isolated asbestos-removal team is working to make the facility safe for construction crews. Eventually it becomes clear that one member of the team has started to become dangerously unhinged.

The atmosphere of the old mental hospital is perfectly ominous. This is a place where bad things have happened and will happen again. Director Brad Anderson does a brilliant job of focusing on the small, creepy aspects of the massive building. The slow, sinister drip of water in an empty corridor, remnants of former patient's possessions strewn on the floor, shadows moving across the wall of an empty room...

The interaction of the work crew is also handled brilliantly. Each character is developed enough to feel "real" and multi-dimensional. We feel the tension between them building as their deadline rapidly approaches. Their personalities begin to clash, and civilized order is gradually forgotten.

What actually causes the severe, psychotic breakdown of one crew member is open to debate and left mysterious. Some will see Session 9 as a study of mental illness, others will see it as a story of demonic possession. While Session 9 stands on its own as a masterpiece, it's hard not to see parallels with The Shining. Some viewers, desiring a more typical horror movie, might find the slow pacing and lack of action a bit dull. However, if you're willing to be patient and pay close attention, Session 9 will leave you utterly disturbed.

Tropic Thunder (2008)

If it's not funny, make it louder

[4/10 · 28 December 2008]

Tropic Thunder is a confused mess that left me greatly disappointed. First off, the intention of the writers is never clear as the film meanders quite a bit. Is this supposed to be a "Hollywood insider" movie, poking fun at the film industry, or is this a parody of Vietnam War films? The storyline goes back and forth, but never really commits to either concept. The combination of the two ideas doesn't work together at all.

There are some moments in this movie that are quite funny, but they're scarce. The funny stuff is drowned out by endlessly loud scenes of characters simply yelling obscenities and insults at each other. I suppose this is supposed to pass for comedic writing, but for me it just became annoying very quickly.

Ben Stiller, funny in many of his previous films (Zoolander, Meet the Parents, There's Something About Mary... to name a few) falls flat here. He doesn't know what to do with his vanilla character, a parody of a washed-up action movie star. Robert Downey Jr., an obviously white actor, is asked to play a black man, clearly poking fun at racism in the Hollywood casting process. The fact that many reviewers have interpreted his role as racist shows that the joke just didn't translate very well, despite a clever concept. Jack Black is purely along for the ride (and the paycheck) in this one. He's plays a slapstick movie star with a bad drug problem. That's about all there is to say regarding his poorly-written, poorly-developed, unfunny character. Tom Cruise offers a cameo appearance, which is unexpected and funny at first, but soon gets overly loud, obnoxious and repetitive (much like the film itself).

The concluding action sequence is way too long and unfunny. I realize the writers had intended to parody over-the-top action movie conclusions (imagine something from a Schwarzenegger film...). However, unintentionally, they created exactly what they were trying to mock. Too many explosions and tons of predictable "one liner" dialogue beat the viewer into submission.

I'm a fan of goofy, fun comedy, but somehow this one missed the mark for me. I wish I had re-watched Anchorman, Superbad or even Dumb and Dumber instead.

Serenity (2005)

A bit overrated, but still better than the recent Star Wars movies

[6/10 · 13 December 2008]

At the time I'm writing this, Serenity has achieved a lofty 8.0 ranking on IMDb. This seems a little generous, given that overall this is just another decently-made sci-fi film.

Serenity shares many elements with sci-fi films you've seen before, but seems to take a lot of inspiration from Star Wars in particular. The captain of the Serenity is a Hans Solo type character, a true space cowboy. The plot revolves around rebels fighting an "evil alliance". Sound familiar? True to form, there are the requisite epic space battles. The Serenity is an out-dated, beat-up old ship but she always comes through when it counts. Sort of like the Millennium Falcon? All of the familiar, broad, sci-fi themes are explored: good vs. evil, truth vs. lies, freedom vs. oppression.

Despite the lack of originality, Serenity is far more successful than the recent Star Wars movies. The dialogue is occasionally snappy and doesn't take itself too seriously for the most part. We even have characters that are involving, likable and inspire loyalty. This is a sharp contrast to the wooden, over-written characters George Lucas has forced upon us in his recent films. The special effects are a little cheap looking at times, but at least they compliment the story rather than dominating it.

As for the plot, it's a mixed bag of sci-fi clichés. There's a mousy, psychic girl who's sort of a "chosen one" or "savior". The evil alliance wants her back because she holds a terrible secret that could destroy their carefully-controlled universe. The rebel crew of the Serenity must protect her secret because, well, there wouldn't be much of a movie if they didn't. There are also some space-zombie, barbarian-type bad guys called "Reavers" that end up playing a surprisingly key role in the plot. The idea of mindless zombies piloting high-tech space ships seems debatable at best, but I guess you can't force too much logic on a sci-fi story.

Serenity is worth watching, but don't expect genius or stunning originality. This is not an all-time, sci-fi classic like The Matrix or Aliens. It's just a nice, forgettable tale that will reasonably involve you for a couple of hours.

The Burning (1981)

Only for loyal fans of the slasher genre

[4/10 · 19 November 2008]

Here we go again: teens at a summer camp are terrorized by a murderous psychopath. Sadly, that pretty much sums up the depth of this film. The Burning was definitely "inspired" by the success of Friday the 13th, which came out only a year before. Friday the 13th is not a great movie and The Burning slides further downhill as a derivative knockoff. At least Friday the 13th, with Jason, gave us an iconic killer. The villain here is not very memorable at all.

Like any bad slasher, you must have an obligatory back-story about the killer. He's a camp counselor who was badly burned in a prank gone wrong. Now he's hideously disfigured and back for revenge. For some reason he likes to kill with gardening shears, one of the sillier weapons in slasher movie history. There wasn't a knife or an ax handy? Maybe he also enjoys landscaping?

Tension and suspense are critical to any successful horror movie and these two elements are sorely missed in The Burning. The kill scenes are poorly executed, poorly paced and look incredibly fake. The best part of the film is a young (22-year-old) Jason Alexander, full head of hair and all. He's oddly cast as one of the summer camp teens although he looks almost 30. Other than the novelty of seeing a future star in a bad b-movie, there's not much else interesting to say about this film.

If you want to see a good classic slasher movie, watch Black Christmas (1974) or Halloween (1978). Try to avoid this one unless you're an obsessive fan of the genre.

Wolf Creek (2005)

Unrelenting, actually frightening

[7/10 · 10 November 2008]

Wolf Creek is a fine example of a rare breed nowadays: a horror film that pulls no punches and makes no apologies for frightening and unnerving the audience.

Three young people are hiking in the Australian Outback when they're unlucky enough to meet Mick Taylor (played brilliantly by John Jarratt), one of the most twisted psychopaths to grace the big screen in years. Mick is a guy who did some hunting at one time, is pretty good with a rifle, and is a survivalist with some possible military training... we're not really sure of much else. All we know is that at some point he took up hunting people for his own amusement and found out he was quite good at it.

What makes this film frightening is how realistic and plausible the story is. Mick seems like a demon that could actually exist in the real world. He's not a super-genius serial killer always toying with the cops. He doesn't kill to fulfill some grandiose plan or message. He doesn't kill his victims in elaborate, unlikely scenarios or games. Rather, he's a pure sadist who just seems to enjoy watching pain, suffering and death. It's that simple. It doesn't take much imagination to realize, in the the middle of the Outback, it would be quite easy for a psycho like Mick to operate for a long time and never get caught.

Wolf Creek is brutally violent and unflinchingly realistic. It never gives the audience time to catch their breath or to feel any hope. This movie is not for everyone. It leaves you unsettled and feeling uneasy. This is only for real horror fans who desire a scare that will stick with them long after the movie ends.

P2 (2007)

P2: Sometimes creepy, but in the end just another "girl runs from killer" movie

[5/10 · 8 November 2008]

P2 is a bare-bones tale to say the least. A young female executive is working late on Christmas Eve in a New York high-rise. Exhausted, she finally heads down to the parking deck to head home. It turns out a psychotic security guard, who has been stalking her, is waiting. The next 90 minutes are a pure life and death struggle, all within the confines of the parking deck.

While the premise of P2 might have great potential for tension, it's mostly stuff we've seen before. Wes Bentley tries hard to be outright crazy and threatening as "Thomas", the not-so-friendly security guard. However, he never rises above the standard "creepy guy" role we've seen in dozens of other horror/suspense movies. In fact, he might have been creepier in American Beauty. Rachel Nichols does a decent job as the young executive. Although, wearing only a thin, low-cut dress for most of the film, the focus is usually more on her amazing breasts than her acting. She's mostly required to do a lot of running, jumping and screaming without falling out of her flimsy evening gown.

While the cat-and-mouse game in the parking garage plays out in an expected fashion, P2 does differentiate itself slightly in its willingness to be gory and graphically violent. A man is brutally (and repeatedly) smashed against a concrete wall by a car, a dog is impaled with a crowbar, and poor, psychotic Thomas even has one of his eyeballs bloodily popped. He's then burned alive as the camera lingers on his writhing body. The gore has an impact, but it can't replace actual tension and suspense, which P2 mostly lacks.

I kept looking for something truly unique about P2. Something to differentiate it from the myriad of slasher/suspense movies that come out each year. It's a well-made movie, but you'll get the feeling you're watching a rerun of a story you've seen many times before.

Blades of Glory (2007)

One of Ferrell's worst... You've been warned.

[3/10 · 28 October 2008]

I'm a big Will Ferrell fan. Anchorman is pure genius. Old School is great. Even Talladega Nights and Semi-Pro, while not brilliant, were well worth watching and had plenty of laughs. Somehow, Ferrell missed the mark with Blades of Glory.

Ferrell is the only one who manages to deliver any laughs in this movie and they are few and far between. Unless you have the mind of a 12-year-old, you'll quickly get over the homo-erotic humor of two guys figure skating together, and start looking for something more clever. Sadly, there isn't anything more clever going on here.

The constant bickering between Ferrell and Heder gets old fast. Heder was great in Napoleon Dynamite, but he doesn't have much to offer here. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, both usually eccentric and hysterical, are given weak supporting roles as the "evil" reigning pairs champions. They're always trying to destroy their competition in any way possible, much like the bad guys in a stereotypical Disney movie.

A lot of Ferrell's incredible weirdness (which makes him great) fails to come through in this movie. Instead we're left with predictable, overused physical comedy and a tired sports-movie plot about overcoming adversity. I'm a little baffled by the 6.6 rating here on IMDb, as this is clearly Ferrell's weakest film.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

A rapidly sinking series...

[3/10 · 26 October 2008]

The first "Pirates" was an excellent movie. A near-perfect adventure film. The second was a bit heavy on special effects, but still enjoyable and memorable. Along comes "At World's End" and it seems things have gone downhill rapidly. Here are the reasons to avoid this film:

OVERUSE OF SPECIAL EFFECTS: Too many scenes say, "Hey, look what we can do with computers!", rather than focusing on compelling action and characters. At times it feels more like a sci-fi movie than a pirate adventure.

PLOT: Way too convoluted and repetitive. There are far too many scenes of characters creating overly-complicated deals with each other, only to pull a classic double-cross 15 minutes later. This happens roughly, oh, I'd say, about 1 billion times in this film. They're all pirates and can't be trusted. I got the point the first time.

A BOATLOAD OF CHARACTERS: The film tries to keep all the characters from the first two installments, while adding a bunch of new characters. At some point, there are just too many people running around on screen.

AN OVERLY-LONG RUN TIME: The first two movies were not short films by any means, but still seemed to fly by. This one is the longest of the bunch and bogs down in many areas. Instead of clever adventure sequences we get tedious, endless dialogue that doesn't really satisfy the audience.

If you're a fan of the first two films, it's hard to avoid the desire to see this one. Just be ready for a big disappointment compared to its predecessors. The end of this movie (rather obviously) sets up a fourth installment in the series. Here's hoping they get back on track with that one, although I'm not terribly interested in seeing any more of the "Pirates" series. With "At World's End" the series has overstayed its welcome.

Southern Comfort (1981)

Relatively unknown classic

[8/10 · 21 October 2008]

This taut, well-paced thriller has stood the test of time. I watched it recently (more than 25 years after it was made) and it is still filled with tension, creepiness and thinly-veiled commentary on the Vietnam War.

Southern Comfort tells the story of some National Guardsmen who are sent on a combat exercise marching across the swamps of Louisiana. The troops have a casual attitude (to say the least) and are certainly not ready for actual combat. Along the way they thoughtlessly cut fishing nets, "borrow" some canoes, and even taunt some local Cajun hunters by firing blanks in their direction. This is a classic case of messing with the wrong people in the wrong the place. The Cajun hunters prove to be a murderous bunch and start picking off the inept soldiers one-by-one.

What makes the movie excellent is the interaction of the characters as the chain of command starts to break down. The soldiers realize they are in deep trouble and panic sets in almost instantly, their training quickly forgotten. The film offers rather obvious (but effective) commentary on the Vietnam War: The soldiers are not properly trained, not psychologically ready for combat, and they've been dropped into foreign terrain against a mysterious enemy. Needless to say, their chances of survival are minimal at best.

A couple of soldiers do manage to survive the ordeal, but the movie does raise serious questions about how well "prepared" anyone can ever be for a true life-and-death struggle.

The Queen (2006)

Dreadfully boring - only for people fascinated with royalty

[2/10 · 4 October 2008]

My girlfriend rented this film and I was unfortunate enough to watch it with her. While I have little interest in the British royal family, I knew the movie had received high praise. Understandably, I expected a lot. After watching this painful piece of cinema, I can honestly say this is a terribly boring, overrated film.

My sense is the film has been highly-rated because it cashes in on the bizarre, unjustified fascination with Princess Diana that exists even today. Honestly, she's just an average person who married into a life of extreme privilege without ever accomplishing anything on her own merits. She was able to do extensive charity work and jet-set around the world because she had little else to do with her time. I was never sure what made her so remarkable. The same goes for the rest of the royals. They are people born into privilege, simply given power without any qualification or reason. If these are the type of people that fascinate you endlessly, The Queen will seem like an amazing film.

I can only tolerate so many scenes of British royalty acting self-important. This movie is scene-after-scene of tedious, rigid dialog. At its core, The Queen is an empty story about empty people. It's not much more than a simplistic docudrama rehash of the controversy surrounding Diana's death. It also offers a very obvious illumination of the struggle between traditional British government and new British government.

Ultimately, this is a story that ascribes great importance and attention to people who just aren't all that interesting. If celebrity-watching is your passion, you'll enjoy this film. If you're someone looking for a movie of substance and depth, avoid this nonsense at all costs.

The Machinist (2004)

Moody and atmospheric, but ultimately predictable

[6/10 · 27 September 2008]

The Machinist gives us the story of a man who hasn't slept in over a year. He's losing weight, his health is declining, and there's the possibility he's losing his sanity.

Christian Bale is excellent as the emaciated machinist, Trevor Reznik. The amount of weight he lost for this role is truly shocking. He lives in a dark, depressing world, in which he is (literally) slowly disappearing. Eventually he starts seeing strange things: A creepy coworker no one else can see. A waitress and her child who might not even exist. Cryptic notes are left on his refrigerator at home. Is he the victim of a conspiracy, or is he losing his mind?

The film attempts to weave a complex plot that keeps us guessing by blurring fantasy and reality. The Machinist falls in the same genre as Fight Club, Donnie Darko and Mulholland Drive. However, while those excellent movies gave us complex characters and intricate plots, there's not much mysterious about The Machinist. Most seasoned movie-watchers will guess that Reznik is living in a fantasy world fairly quickly. There's no real shock or surprise at the conclusion. We've seen this done before in better films.

I won't give an exact spoiler detailing what has caused Reznik's psychological break from reality. Rest assured, it's fairly trite and expected. This is essentially a morality tale about lingering guilt and eventually doing the right thing. For a film with an artistic, independent attitude, The Machinist is little more than a formulaic psychological thriller. Director Brad Anderson is clearly talented and this movie almost worked brilliantly. It just needed a little more complexity in character development and plot to truly engage (and surprise) the audience. After well over an hour of building suspense, one is left disappointed by the mundane conclusion.

Shrooms (2007)

Another predictable movie trying to be clever

[5/10 · 7 September 2008]

I'll give Shrooms 5 out of 10 because technically it's not a terrible movie. The direction is competent, the acting is OK, it never looks cheap despite a low budget and it even has some creepy moments. So what's wrong with Shrooms?

The movie relies heavily on a twist ending so obvious anyone can see it coming from a mile away. A bunch of young people go on a camping trip with the intention of getting high on mushrooms. One of the girls accidentally eats a "bad" mushroom and begins to have intense hallucinations. Her hallucinations are enhanced by a creepy local legend she hears told around the campfire at night. When the killings start, not surprisingly, the killers seem to fit in perfectly with the local legend. Are there really monsters lurking in the woods? Is the local legend true?

You probably already guessed that it's actually the girl who's the killer and there really are no monsters in the woods. Well, sadly, you're right. Obviously, overhearing the creepy campfire story has fueled the visions in her homicidal, mushroom-induced trip. I found it hard to take the movie very seriously when I had guessed the ending about 15 minutes in.

There's a wasted opportunity here. The idea of blurring the lines of fantasy and reality always has great potential. Sadly, this is run-of-the-mill stuff and the whole thing is just incredibly predictable.

Vanishing Point (1971)

Great chase movie and character study

[8/10 · 1 September 2008]

Vanishing Point gives us the story of Kowalski, a former professional race driver now working as a driver delivering cars across the desert of the American west. He makes a bet with his friend he can deliver his latest car to San Francisco in a ridiculously short amount of time and hits the road at a breakneck pace. When the cops first try to pull him over for speeding, he refuses, and an epic chase is on.

At first the film seems to be a mindless action flick with our hero using spectacular driving to elude his pursuers. However, as the movie progresses, we begin to get details about Kowalski's life. He's a Vietnam vet and presumably saw some terrible things in combat during the war. At one time he was a police officer, only to be disgraced in a public scandal. The only woman he ever loved, perhaps the only person who gave him a reason to go on, drowned in a surfing accident. His career as a racer was a dismal failure.

He's lead a difficult life and we begin to question his motivations for taking the bet. Why risk everything, even his life, to win a ridiculous wager with a friend? What's the point in delivering a car if it's practically destroyed? It becomes clear that Kowalski doesn't really care if he destroys the car, or even himself, during his journey. He's a man who's reached the end of his rope. He's lived life on the edge of society and it has taken a terrible toll on him. His fiery, suicidal crash at the conclusion of the film is not all that surprising. He knew all along this would be his final drive.

The simplistic plot of the film is bolstered by the many quirky characters he meets along the way. There's a blind DJ, an eccentric old man wandering the desert, gay highway robbers, a naked motorcycle girl, a Christian snake-handling cult... These characters all add texture to an already rich story. Given the minimal dialog he had to work with, Barry Newman gives a great understated performance as Kowalski. This is the story of one man's death, but it is also a story about a dying part of America. Wide-open roads in the West, unlimited possibilities and idealism, the dream of making it to California... all of these things disappeared decades ago.

This is a great 70's cult classic. While some aspects of the film seem dated, Vanishing Point is still more creative and progressive than many movies being produced now.

Semi-Pro (2008)

Never brilliant, but consistently funny throughout

[6/10 · 31 August 2008]

This is another solid movie from Will Ferrell. While Semi-Pro is never on par with his best efforts (Old School and Anchorman), it doesn't disappoint either.

As usual, the film is just a bunch of Will Ferrell skits thrown together. The story of the ABA's Flint Tropics trying to make the big-time in the NBA is purely secondary to Ferrell's comic ideas. There are a few lulls, but for the most part Semi-Pro delivers with consistent laughs. Yes, it's a stupid, silly story. If you don't have a sense of goofy fun, you should avoid this movie. As a sports comedy, it fits very much in the same genre as Dodgeball and The Waterboy. There are the standard inspirational speeches about teamwork, the intense big game against a key rival, the bizarre play-by-play announcers... we've seen this all before. Despite the clichéd sports aspect, the sight of Will Ferrell trying to play basketball (or do anything athletic) is somehow always hysterical.

So why does this movie fall short of Will Ferrell's best effort, Anchorman? In Anchorman the entire cast contributed. Everyone had a chance to get in on the act and this lead to some unforgettable scenes. In Semi-Pro, there's a sense that Will Ferrell is doing his own thing and everyone else is just along for the ride.

While not a masterpiece, the movie received some unfairly harsh reviews from critics. If you're a Will Ferrell fan, it's definitely worth watching.

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

Generic, uninspired interpretation of the original

[4/10 · 30 August 2008]

John Carpenter's 1976 original was a little cheesy and low-budget looking at times, but it was still a very well done film. It was short and to the point. Carpenter knew how to build psychological tension and his vision of a street gang attacking a police station was menacing. The original Precinct 13 also offered social commentary. It was made at a time when Americans were fleeing the inner city due to a proliferation of gang violence the police seemed powerless to control. The original Precinct 13 registered with the American public in much the same way as the Death Wish and Dirty Harry films.

The trouble with the updated 2005 version is it has nothing to say. It's very much a generic Hollywood thriller/action flick. The big-name cast all turn in mediocre performances, trying their best to work with the mundane script and direction. The psychotic street gang has been replaced with crooked cops. The crooked cop aspect is supposed to be an unexpected plot "twist", but it's been done to death and elicited a bored *sigh* from me. Most of the original's psychological tension has been replaced with endless dialog that never seems to go anywhere. In the 1976 version the street gang is mostly seen as faceless shadows in the dark of night. They seem to kill purely for fun, almost like something out of a horror movie. We don't truly understand their motivations, which makes them far more frightening. The updated version gives us way too much information about the crooked cops and they become not nearly as threatening.

Overall, there's a strong feeling of "seen that before" when watching the 2005 version. There's nothing special or unique going on. This isn't a terrible movie, but it doesn't offer any new ideas. It's a classic example of Hollywood playing it safe and winding up with a middle of the road film.

Rest Stop (2006 Video)

Not a good movie, but misunderstood by many here...

[5/10 · 21 August 2008]

This is certainly not a classic film, but many reviews here show that people completely failed to understand what was happening with the plot.

Spoilers ahead:

Rest Stop is really a ghost story, not a slasher movie. The rest stop is haunted and everyone that Nicole meets there is a ghost. The strange family in the RV, the girl locked in the closet, the policeman and even the serial killer in the truck are all supernatural. This is why the policeman and girl in the closet simply vanish. The killer's truck can't be damaged and we even see it in perfect condition right after it just completely burned. It's a ghost story! You can't evaluate the plot in terms of hard logic. In one of the final scenes we see that Nicole has been killed by the serial killer's ghost and her spirit is now trapped at the rest stop as well. The whole thing is pretty clearly spelled out.

I'm not defending this as a good movie. It's very tedious in a lot of areas and it never really comes together. However, most of the people who thought it was the "worst movie ever" didn't even take the time to figure out what was happening. I guess if a movie isn't completely obvious, some people get confused.

Trespassers (2006)

The low budget doesn't excuse the stupidity

[2/10 · 17 August 2008]

I hear a lot of people making excuses for this movie based on the low budget. However, the movie fails in terms of acting, writing and direction... all areas that don't necessarily cost a huge amount to get right. I've seen many movies made on even lower budgets that were far more entertaining and well-crafted.

The story is classic horror cliché. Five attractive young people go on a road trip to a secluded Mexican beach. Of course, something is terribly wrong with the beach and they start to die one-by-one. I won't go into the details of the inane plot, but let's just say it has to do with the curse of a cult leader called "El Gringo" (yes, that's actually what he's called) and people being turned into blood-thirsty zombies who hunt by night. So it's basically a bad, zombie b-movie set on a Mexican beach.

The acting is pretty labored and the story gets dumber and dumber as it progresses. There's plenty of gratuitous nudity from the attractive female stars, which was maybe the highlight of the movie. Some movies are bad but don't take themselves too seriously, so they become fun. "Trespassers" seems to take itself way too seriously, and winds up not very scary and not very entertaining.

Dead End (I) (2003)

Surprisingly engaging mix of comedy and horror

[7/10 · 27 July 2008]

This wonderful little movie surprised me quite a bit. The first 10 minutes or so seemed poorly done and I was expecting a classic B-movie disaster. Try your best to ignore the terrible opening credit sequence with the laughably bad rock soundtrack. However, after the film finds its rhythm, you're drawn into the story and it doesn't let up.

This movie achieves something that's very difficult. It effectively mixes comedy and horror. One minute you're laughing as if you're watching a National Lampoon's Vacation movie, the next you're unsettled by a well-done horror sequence. This excellent balance is continued from start to finish. The characters are surprisingly engaging, amusing and unique by horror movie standards.

For a low-budget movie it looks great and is well-acted. The plot is simple and has the feel of an extended Twilight Zone episode. The family gets lost on a "shortcut" side road while traveling to visit relatives on Christmas Eve. You're never sure exactly what the family has gotten themselves into for most of the film. The inescapable road simply continues forever in an otherworldly fashion with no end in sight. Is the road haunted? Is it a portal to another dimension? The family's growing panic is wonderfully captured as they're killed off one-by-one by the ghostly "lady in white" and taken away in a mysterious black car. The killings happen off-camera and most of the gore is implied. This is a nice change of pace compared to most modern horror movies, as it lets the viewer's imagination run wild and makes things far more scary. The predictable twist conclusion doesn't quite live up to the well-crafted cleverness of earlier sequences, but it doesn't detract from the movie either.

I was a little disappointed to see the directors of this film have not done much since. Dead End is a great, relatively unknown, genre piece. Any real horror fan should enjoy this.

There Will Be Blood (2007)

Atmospheric and thought provoking

[9/10 · 26 July 2008]

From the opening scenes, this film draws you in with its beautiful cinematography and haunting score. You can almost feel the dirt and heat of the desert. The still "Wild" West of early 1900's America comes alive. This movie works well as a historical drama, yet has something much deeper (and bleak) to say about American culture.

Daniel Day-Lewis shines as Daniel Plainview, an oil-man obsessed with making a fortune at any cost. He's heartless, greedy and increasingly insane. In many ways he represents the unbridled greed of capitalism. Exploitation, back-stabbing and even death are all simply part of doing business. Dollar bills carry more weight than human lives.

There Will Be Blood is a fairly nihilistic story. Whether it's through unchecked big business or false religion, people are exploited. In the end, you're left wondering what the point of it all was. In my opinion, this ambiguity is quite intentional. The film's very essence is about people traveling down self-destructive paths that lead to nowhere.

This is a gorgeous, epic film about American capitalist culture and the dark side of human nature.

Primer (2004)

Intelligent and disturbing story

[7/10 · 26 July 2008]

This independent movie was made on a very tiny budget with largely amateur actors, yet it manages to be more entertaining and engaging than most big-budget movies cranked out by Hollywood.

Primer tells the story of a couple of engineers who spend their spare time outside of their dull office jobs working on inventions. They hope to create a patentable device that will make them independently wealthy. One day, quite by accident, they invent a time travel device. This might sound hokey, but it's handled in a very realistic and believable fashion by the director.

Of course our two engineers can't resist using themselves as guinea pigs in their time travel experiments. The usual questions about time travel are raised: Can the natural course of events be changed? Can the device be exploited for monetary gain? How will people react when faced with such overwhelming power?

The latter half of the film is simultaneously baffling and disturbing. By traveling back in time the engineers have touched off a course of events that can't be undone. Things become increasingly chaotic and muddled as they realize their experiment is spiraling out of control. They begin to turn on each other as their confusion and panic deepens. The viewer is left with a similar feeling of confusion and panic. As events begin to unfold at an ever increasing rate it becomes impossible to keep up. The plot becomes (intentionally on the writer's part, in my opinion) a jumbled mess as the very nature of time has been disturbed. Time was once an untangled, linear string. Now it's been tied in a huge knot.

This is one of the more disturbing time travel films ever made. Primer is successful because the director works well within his constraints. He has inexperienced actors, so he doesn't ask too much of them. He doesn't try to pull off anything that's beyond the scope of his budget. In many ways, Primer is a standard morality tale about greed, human nature and man trying to play God. However, it is presented in an intelligent, realistic and unique fashion.

If you can overlook the low-budget feel of the film and plentiful scientific dialogue, it's worth watching this intelligent, relatively unknown sci-fi gem.

The Double Life of Véronique (1991)

Artful nonsense

[4/10 · 13 July 2008]

We've all, at one time or another, seen more artistic movies mocked by the general movie-going public. Usually I'll chalk it up to the average viewer's lack of patience for more intense, intelligent cinema. However, in this case, any ridicule of artistic excess seems just.

This is a film where nothing much happens and not much makes sense. Why does Veronique have an exact double half-way across Europe? The film introduces this idea and then simply lets it float about without explanation. Of course the viewer is left perplexed and frustrated. What was the director trying to say? Did he even know what he was trying to say? There's plenty of symbolism throughout the film that is very cryptic, not offering the viewer much help towards deciphering the story.

This film reminds me of a modern art gallery, where pretentious "art experts" endlessly debate the meaning of a black square inside a white square. Sometimes a piece of art can simply look interesting while saying nothing coherent or concrete. That is the case with this film. It's a collection of pretty pictures that don't add up in the end. I suppose one could re-watch this film a dozen times, trying to glean some sort of deeper meaning. However, I'll pass. It's brutally slow and tedious; the prospect of continually re-watching this dull tale is not very appealing.

Perhaps this film is highly regarded because many reviewers feel it's so cryptic and strange, it simply must be an artistic masterpiece. No one wants to be the uncultured everyman to stand up and say, "This film makes no sense. It's a pretentious mess. Nothing of interest happened and the characters are not at all compelling." The cinematography is beautiful and Irène Jacob is beautiful. Based on that, the film earns a 4/10.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

Highly regarded by many... I'm not sure why.

[4/10 · 12 July 2008]

The premise of this movie seems solid. A group of British soldiers battle werewolves in the isolated, dimly-lit forests of the Scottish highlands. If you're a fan of horror movies, this sounds like a winner. Sadly, from the beginning, this movie disappointed me.

It's very much a stereotypical soldier movie with some werewolves thrown in as the "bad guys". There's lots of macho male bonding. Nearly every character is one-dimensional and virtually mindless. No character rises above the level of complexity one would find in a bad video game. It's very easy to pick out our hero, bad guy, traitor, etc... On top of all that, the movie has an oppressive, irritating soundtrack that seems to be lifted from every 1980's soldier movie you've ever seen. The music is simplistic, clichéd and pulls the viewer out of the story.

This is a low-budget movie and the director does a good job handling the werewolf effects. They're done with people in wolf suits and only shown briefly in dark lighting. A big improvement over the computer-generated nonsense we get in many movies nowadays. At least the werewolves look real and threatening. They are the true stars of this movie.

The plot would be right at home in any made-for-cable sci-fi movie. It's your standard nonsense about the military wanting to study and control the werewolves, but things go horribly (and predictably) wrong. While there is plenty of shooting and no shortage of battling the werewolves, the movie lacks tension. I didn't really care if the main characters made it and found myself pulling for the werewolves. Always a bad sign in this type of movie. After a while I was exhausted by the endless stream of bullets and macho dialogue.

Interestingly, the sci-fi masterpiece Aliens used a similar formula (a group of soldiers being besieged by monsters) but with much greater success. In Aliens we had interesting characters, tension-filled action and humor that worked. Dog Soldiers is inferior in every respect to that classic film.

This movie might best appeal to male teenagers who fantasize about being soldiers. It could be a recruiting video: "Join the British Army, get a really cool gun, and kill the werewolves!" For someone hoping for a movie that's a little more mature, and actually frightening, Dog Soldiers falls far short.

The Shaft (2001)

Wow... uh, where to begin...

[1/10 · 7 July 2008]

Just for kicks, let's pretend you're a disgraced military scientist. You want to create "bio-machines" that incorporate mechanical devices with human intelligence. However, your first attempts were always kind of hard to control and turned out a little, well, homicidal. So the military fired you... but of course you want to continue your research. Well why not continue your dangerous research on an elevator in a busy, New York skyscraper that's open to the public? Seems like a good plan. What could possibly go wrong?

That's the plot of this one. The elevator kills people because it is partially powered by human brain cells and is apparently evil for no good reason. Yep. Sound scary? Sound at all plausible? Didn't think so.

This might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The shocking thing is that Naomi Watts shows up as a newspaper reporter trying to get the scoop on the "killer elevator". What on earth is a real star doing in this thing? I realize it was earlier in her career, but one would think her standards were better than this. Did she read the script before taking the job? Ron Perlman shows up as well; maybe he failed to check out the script too.

The dialogue is so bad it's hard to even laugh at it. The acting is hard to stomach. This movie just goes to show that a bad script and bad direction can make any actor look terrible. James Marshall is particularly laughable as the leading man. He looks like a high school drama student trying to remember his lines for the big play.

The premise is so strange. Of all the things to experiment on, why would the scientist choose an elevator? Do we really need a super-intelligent elevator? With such a bad premise, one can certainly imagine how the half-baked plot plays out.

It's hard to think of one good thing about this movie. It did make me laugh occasionally with its overall amateurish look and terrible dialogue. However, it's not a fun, campy B-movie. Down (aka The Shaft) is just plain boring, formulaic and doesn't make much sense.