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Reviews
The Omen (1976)
Not great, but still a devilishly fun time
The fact that Richard Donner made Superman just two years after this is such a wild juxtaposition in one's career.
Realistically I feel that The Omen is just an okay horror film in retrospect. While the scene where the nanny hangs herself definitely is deserving of an iconic moment, the rest of the film really doesn't grab me as much as something like The Exorcist. To me, the main issue of The Omen lies in the fact that it's not very well paced. The first and last 20 minutes are incredibly strong and engaging to watch, but for the 80 minutes of this nearly 2 hour long film feels so needlessly drawn out.
Damien, for as much as he's hyped up as being the absolute menace in the Antichrist, who will bring ruin upon the world, really doesn't show up for most of the film. We mostly get monologues from priests telling us how evil he is, but a lot of these demonic acts that he's supposedly responsible for seem to be spurred on by the secret satanic replacement nanny. The kills are at least very interesting, hell they're the most interesting part of the film, but at the same time they do end up feeling a lot more corny than actually scary.
Immaculate (2024)
Not quite a Devilish good time, but still fun
A pretty decent time overall, but what really hinders this movie is how much it plays into typical horror clichés during its first half. It gets more interesting by the end, especially in the gore department but that unfortunately isn't enough to completely elevate it. Sydney Sweeney delivers a really great performance in this, however her character was really the only one I was invested in, as we don't really get to examine anyone's motivations too closely but hers.
Even though it feels that Immaculate is treading over ideas that have been done better in other films like Suspiria or Rosemary's Baby, I would still recommend people to go out to see it, going in as completely blind as you can. It was definitely not an experience that I regretted.
Anatomie d'une chute (2023)
A View to a Kill
An absolutely enthralling and heartbreaking watch from start to finish. The cinematography especially is excellent, as it does a great job of both showing and obscuring the events of the fatal death of a husband that the wife is accused of murdering, leading the audience to be unsure of exactly which side to believe. Was it a passionate murder due to years of marital issues boiling over, or rather the tragic suicide of a man suffering behind the shine of his wife's success in a shadow of mediocrity? Even when we get the verdict by the end, even that answer isn't entirely clear, but that's not really the point in my opinion. This is a film, much like the trial itself, who's plot is driven by the emotion of the actors, all of whom deliver incredibly impassioned performances, especially child actor Milo Machado-Graner.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Insultingly Bland Space Opera
Yeah, there's no beating around the bush here, Rebel Moon sucks. This film is an edgy mishmash of the most generic sci-fi and fantasy tropes with some of the most flat characters I've ever seen in a film. While many have pointed to Star Wars as an obvious point of inspiration, Rebel Moon seems to be biting off of Seven Samurai very blatantly: as its premise revolves around a former imperial officer has to recruit a number of other notable fighters across the galaxy to protect a village from an impending force that will kill them all if they do not supply them with grain in 10 weeks.
Besides the narrative plagiarism, Rebel Moon also has no real sense of originality in the universe it inhabits, as so many of the locations in this film are straight up lifted from other films/genres. These include your average dusty farm planet serving as both a Tatooine/Western townsplace, a Blade Runner-esque cyberpunk planet, and a Roman coliseum planet that looks like it was a leftover set from Gladiator.
The characters are even worse, as they all are absolutely devoid of any personality and give absolute no reason as to why they would want to fight for these villagers that they barely know. Despite this, Zack Snyder desperately wants you to think that they are cool so he gives them ultra-edgy names like "Bloodaxe", "Nemesis", and "Decimus". This even applies to the villains, who are the most generic evildoers imaginable. Their outfits are the most on the nose Nazi parodies, with the main baddie Atticus Noble being the worst offender, looking like a wannabe Hans Landa with a Richard Spencer haircut.
Despite the edgy dark tone that Rebel Moon is trying to go for, the action is surprisingly neutered, as the camera seems to be afraid to show any actual blood beyond just a quick blaster wound. That being said, this film has a remarkably high number of attempted sexual assault scenes that only seem to be in the movie in order to reinforce that this is a "mature, adult sci-fi" movie despite its PG-13 rating.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Much More "Nice" Than "Naughty"
A pretty fun sleazy slasher that does a pretty good job at psychologically analyzing the main killer. It surprisingly has a lot of moody atmospheric shots that make the kills a lot more engaging than they otherwise would have been. Most of the more comedic moments of this movie work, like for example a fake out where Billy gifts a kid a bloody box-knife he has when asking if she's been good or naughty, or him jumping out and beheading a random bully who stole a kids sled. Other times miss incredibly, mostly revolving around the police officers' attempts at catching Billy.
Still, Silent Night, Deadly Night is a pretty damn good holiday slasher that I very much recommend for this time of year.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Tim Allen Should Have Skipped This Movie Instead
Despite being only an hour and 40 minutes long, Christmas With the Kranks feels like a goddamn eternity due to how atrocious the pacing is. For the first 30 minutes plot points just rush past until when the Kranks learn that their daughter is coming home and they need to quickly churn out a holiday party, which is when the pacing grinds to a halt. This leads to extreme tonal whiplash, as it turns from a Cable Guy-style black comedy into a generic, paint by numbers Hallmark movie.
I do have to agree with others who have reviewed this movie that the message is completely antithetical to the spirit of Christmas, as the titular Kranks are bullied and essentially brainwashed until they are forced to give in and celebrate with the rest of the neighborhood. While this might work if they really went all in on the black comedy angle, the fact that Christmas With the Kranks ends with the film endorsing this behavior leaves me with a particularly sour taste in my mouth.
Election (1999)
A Biting Piece of Secondary School Political Satire
Election might just be one of the funniest films I've ever seen. The snappy dialogue and delivery combined with the expressive cinematography makes this a film that always keeps me engaged while watching.
The characters in this movie are also incredibly well-written, aiding in the dark comedy extremely well, particularly with the rivalry between Tracy Flick and Jim McCallister. The fact that both characters share the personality of being superficially nice, which hides extremely vindictive and petty schemes is absolutely genius for the type of political satire told through the lens of a high school election.
Also, Paul Metzler is an absolute himbo treasure that did nothing wrong and deserves the best.
V/H/S/85 (2023)
The Best of the Shudder V/H/S Movies So Far
V/H/S/85 is the first V/H/S film in a while that feels that all of its segments are pretty decent. I initially thought that the 80s setting would make this film feel annoying, but it actually played into it quite well.
My personal favorite segment was "Dreamkill", which felt like a pretty slick 80s slasher with a pretty interesting supernatural twist, having a connection to the film The Black Phone, even being made by the same director. During the "No Wake" short, I initially thought that it ended way too abruptly only to be pleasantly surprised that it payed off in a segment later on into the film that connected all the pieces that it had been building up to.
That being said, this film is not without its problems, as the short "TKNOGD" feels more like a modern writer trying to replicate a Videodrome style narrative while "God of Death" starts off extremely well that's supernatural twist is rather underwhelming.
Still, this is a definite improvement from the past couple of entries and I would definitely recommend it to fans and newcomers to the V/H/S franchise.
Terrifier (2016)
All Guts, Little Glory
While I appreciate the throwback to ultra-gory splatter slashers of the 80s, Terrifier was overall a miss for me. Right off the bat, I will definitely say that the gore is the highlight of the film, Damien Leone is incredibly talented as a visual effects artist and it definitely shines here. The gore feels incredibly visceral and real, with the infamous hacksaw scene being a particular highlight. Art the Clown is also pretty entertaining to watch, with his mixing humorous pantomiming contrasting the brutal torture of his victims.
However, what makes this film fall apart for me is that anything that isn't Art toying with his prey is pretty goddamn boring. The narrative is ridiculously overstuffed for a 90 minute movie, feeling like 3 decent short films mashed together to create a disjointed mess of an experience. This isn't helped by the fact that most of the acting is pretty godawful, with most characters feeling more like paper thin horror stereotypes than people.
But still, it's clear that most people love this movie for its gore than narrative substance and if that's what you're here for, I think you'll have a pretty good time.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)
A Must-Watch, Albeit Flawed Proto-Slasher
While certainly not perfect, The Town That Dreaded Sundown is still a very interesting watch. In many ways this film feels like a true slasher film, as it features a masked killer going around a small town hunting down mainly teenagers. Hell, the design of the Phantom himself feels like it was the direct inspiration for Jason's look in F13 Part 2, with the fairly simple bag over head with eyeholes and grimy work clothes fit.
While many films before and since have claimed to be "a true story", this film actually pulls its weight, being loosely based on an actual string of murders in the real town of Texarkana, Arkansas. This leads the film to be presented in a documentary style, with voice over narration explaining the major players and other events not shown on screen. While it generally works, it does feel somewhat corny at times, especially since the narrator is quite flat and monotone in his delivery.
One aspect of this film I do love is the Phantom Killer himself. Every second he's on screen is quite eerie and menacing with his deep, muffled breathing and hateful eyes behind his mask. His cleverness and resourcefulness is also incredibly interesting to watch, as he adapts his killings over the course of the film to avoid capture, like him adding a silencer to his pistol after nearly getting caught due to a Ranger hearing gunshots at his last murder site.
One aspect of this film that has aged the worst is the humor, particularly with the character of "Sparkplug". His shenanigans feels like they would be more in line in a sitcom like Andy Griffith rather than in a serious horror-thriller like this.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
Can You Find the Wolves in this Picture?
An absolutely phenomenal film, did not at all feel like 3 and a half hours long, it was paced so excellently. This is probably one of my favorite Scorsese films so far, he beautifully tells the tragedy that befell the Osage nation during the 1920s due to corruption, greed, and betrayal by the people who claimed to be on their side. Several scenes use symbolism derived from traditional Osage legend, which helps communicate the themes of this film extremely well.
The acting is also superb, with leads De Niro, DiCaprio, and Gladstone delivering exceptionally great performances.
I definitely recommend you watch this film, this is quite possibly my favorite film of this year.
The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953)
Extremely Influential Early Kajiu Movie
Overall a pretty standard 50s monster movie, but I definitely understand its influence over other famous kaiju films like Godzilla, which came out only 16 months after this. The main cast is serviceable at best, with most of them just standing around in rooms talking in jargon about how to destroy the monster, but no one was really a bad character.
What this movie does excel in is its treatment of its monster, a prehistoric dinosaur that had been reawakened due to nuclear testing in the Arctic. The way it's filmed really does make it incredibly mysterious and menacing, and the stop motion effects done by the famed Ray Harryhausen help tremendously in making it terrifying. Easily the best part of this movie is the climatic showdown in the amusement park, where the effects are able to truly shine.
Carrie (1976)
"And Now the Devil Has Come Home"
An absolutely phenomenal film, both a horror film and a tragedy. Carrie White throughout the course of the movie starts to trust others and make meaningful connections for that to all seemingly be betrayed by just one cruel prank. And even when she goes to the last place she thinks she's safe, back in the arms of her religious zealot of a mother, even she betrays her by stabbing Carrie in the back after revealing that she was the product of her mother being raped by her father.
One thing that I picked up on during this latest rewatch is that when Carrie's mother first sees the prom dress she made, she comments that it's red, with Carrie correcting her that it's pink, only for the dress to be completely red after it's been drenched in blood.
...E tu vivrai nel terrore! L'aldilà (1981)
A Hellish Downward Spiral
An extremely surreal nightmare of a film, the moment you start watching "The Beyond" it only goes downhill, going from bad to worse to the very gates of Hell itself. Much like the characters in the movie, you are doomed from the very start. Fulci's movies are usually fairly sparse of "plot", as the atmospheric visuals and intense gore of his movies are what drive them, and this is no exception. The audience is thrown into the same situation as the rest of the characters are, there's no reasoning of why these things are happening, they just have to deal with them and survive, if they can.
And that is why "The Beyond" rules, watch it.
Profondo rosso (1975)
A Masterclass of Mystery
Another Argento banger, "Deep Red" combines Hitchockian suspense with Gothic atmosphere and psychological horror to make a truly great giallo mystery. One of my favorite things that this film does is that it reveals the solution rather early on, but due to the great editing most viewers won't even catch on to this slight detail until the very end when the main character realizes it. Speaking of main characters, the relationship between the skittish pianist Marcus and the feisty reporter Gianna is a blast to watch, they play off each other quite well and make you feel invested in them as they investigate the strange killing of a psychic.
Of course I can't talk about "Deep Red" without bringing up the excellent score by Goblin, having a playful yet darkly cynical sort of tone it, supplementing the film perfectly.
Martin (1977)
Romero's Most Tragic Film
Martin is what I would say is Romero's saddest film, as he deconstructs the vampire mythos through the lens of a mentally troubled young man upon the backdrop of dying small town America. The titular Martin is shown daydreaming of black-and-white romantic vignettes of him seducing his female victims, being chased by angry mobs with pitchforks and torches, and being exorcised by vampire hunters. However, Romero pulls back the curtains on these visions showing what truly goes on: Martin drugging and cutting women with a razor, a police chase through dank alleyways, and Martin's religious uncle preaching to him and his agnostic cousin.
Antichrist (2009)
Chaos Reigns
An extremely dark, and somewhat depressing watch, "Antichrist" is one of the movies where I feel that different people could get wildly different interpretations about it and they would all be right. This film deals with the concept of grief and how a couple deals with loss while battling their own inner demons, unresolved tensions with each other, and the demons of their remote cabin retreat "Eden". Von Trier has a very unique way of presenting these conflicts, with a style that I would describe as haunted, never truly allowing the audience to be free of the turmoil that the characters are facing.
One of the main things that "Antichrist" has been criticized for is its use of extreme violence, however I believe that this is absolutely necessary for the film, as the main characters have to come to terms with their own inner primal urges in order to truly deal with their years of repressed grief.
Daniel Isn't Real (2019)
Mandy Meets Hereditary Meets Fight Club
"Daniel Isn't Real" was a pretty fun and interesting watch! It clearly takes a lot of cues from Mandy, due to it being made by the same studio, which is seen mainly through it's use of neon color palettes and contorted, hellish imagery.
This film tackles the subject of mental health, schizophrenia in particular, and how it can pass itself down through trauma. While this is certainly nothing new for the horror genre to explore, the story that "Daniel Isn't Real" tells for the most part makes up for it. The protagonist Luke is a very compelling character that I think many younger people can relate their struggles too, but on the other hand some aspects of his personality are a little half-baked. His relationship with his mother, who is suffering from mental health related issues as well, is something that the film initially seems it wants to analyze, but she really doesn't end up playing a huge part in the story and in fact gets sidelined about halfway through.
Possum (2018)
Black as Sin
"Possum" is a really great atmospheric horror film that really does a great job portraying the paranoia and anguish of its main character, a disgraced puppeteer who believes that Possum, a human/spider puppet, is sentient and is haunting him. The cinematography and score are especially top notch, reinforcing this horror as you always feel like the main character is being watched. The design of Possum is already quite creepy, and due to the way it's shot, never allowing the audience to get a clear shot of it, makes it become truly nightmarish.
That being said, "Possum" has one major, crippling flaw being that the ending feels quite rushed and just blatantly explains to the audience the answer to the mystery that had previously been slowly building the entire time.
I wouldn't say that this ruins the movie for me, however, and I would definitely recommend you give "Possum" a watch, as the rest of what it does well makes up for it.
No One Will Save You (2023)
A Interesting Take on the Alien Invasion Formula
For a film that I had next to no expectations for going in, "No One Will Save You" is actually a pretty gripping sci-fi/horror thriller, despite its couple of crippling flaws.
The acting is generally pretty great throughout, with lead Kaitlyn Dever gives a great performance as reclusive social outcast Brynn attempting to fight off an alien invasion, especially considering how sparce the dialogue is. The most we get are panicked grunts, breathing, and screams, with only a few characters even getting full spoken lines. Unfortunately, this is kind of a double-edged sword, as the story ends up suffering, leading to the film having to spell out the backstory of Brynn during the last 10 minutes of the movie with a melodramatic flashback. While this backstory is hinted somewhat throughout the beginning of the film, it's brought up a little too sparingly to have any of the big eureka moment it thinks it has. It does lead to a rather amusingly dark ending which I did kind of like though, so it's kind of hard to judge.
The aliens themselves are a mixed bag as well, being a smorgasbord of different kinds of iconic extraterrestrials, seemingly taking heavy inspiration from the Alien franchise, as well as the mindflayers from DnD. They're introduced of having some sort of psychic/telekinetic powers which allows them to move objects with their mind as well as tamper with electronics, but in some situations they don't use them at all when fighting Brynn, deciding to charge at her and fight her melee style instead.
Still, I didn't regret watching this film, and I do recommend giving it a watching this spoopy season.
Split (2016)
A Beast of a Thriller
Split is a really great movie, such a breath of fresh air from the sea of inconsistent, infuriating mediocrity that has plagued Shyamalan since Signs. While everyone's acting is quite great throughout, James McAvoy easily steals the show, being able to effortlesslessly making them all feel believable in the same performance.
The cinematography is excellent as well, portraying the claustrophobia that the 3 captive girls feel as well as revealing information to the audience about DID sufferer Kevin in clever ways.
The theme of how trauma is passed down from childhood abuse and how it affects our behavior as adults I feel will be no doubt controversial to anyone watching Split, but I believe that Shyamalan handles this very sensitive topic with care and tact. Both Kevin and Casey, one of his captives, suffered from intense childhood abuse which shaped some antisocial behavior in them later on in life, but what separates them from each other is that Casey tries to help the other captives survive and escape. Kevin (or rather Kevin's other personalities), however, embraces the philosophy of "The Beast", who believes that those who have not suffered like he has are "impure" and must be purged from the world.
Split proves that Shyamalan can easily still make films that are both thought-provoking and high quality, and it's for films like these that I still root for him and want to see him succeed.
The Visit (2015)
Blumhouse + Shyamalan = Infuriatingly Subpar
A very frustrating watch, especially since this is supposed to be a found footage/mockumentary movie but yet for the most part is shot like a standard horror movie. This format also seems like more of a storytelling crutch as well, since most of the characters' backstories are revealed by them expositing to the camera, without any real questioning by the in universe filmmakers to do so.
The characters are the worst part of this movie though, as the main two kids are both equally annoying in entirely different ways. The younger brother spouts off dumb jokes and stomach-churning rap verses without warning, while the older sister is a pseudo-intellectual goody-two-shoes with the personality of wet cardboard. They're off to spend the week at their grandparents house because they apparently really want to meet them despite them never seeing them before, which the mom lets them go completely unsupervised. Real mom of the year material, I know, and what makes this even worse is that the mom doesn't seem the slightest bit concerned even when she's told her parents are acting strange. The mom doesn't even send somebody over to check up on them, she just leaves her children in the hands of her parents, who she hasn't seen ever since she was kicked out for marrying her ex who they hated, completely alone and stranded.
That being said, the people who play the grandparents do give the best performances overall. While a lot of the "scares" when it's nighttime end up feeling forced and even laughable at points, the way they move and talk during the daytime scenes really does give off a sense of paranoia and dread.
The Happening (2008)
Schlocky fun
Kind of like The Village, I'm actually surprised of how much I actually enjoyed watching The Happening. Granted, it's not a good movie, but it has this B-movie charm to it, sort of like an ecologist version of an Ed Wood movie. As many have said, the acting and dialogue is extremely stilted and forced, but for some reason it doesn't annoy me as much as it did in films like Lady in the Water or Signs. I think a lot of it comes to the fact that this film is one of Shyamalan's shortest, at a comfortable 91 minutes, meaning that it really doesn't waste too much time with setting up the premise and moves by pretty quickly as well.
The montages of people nonchalantly killing themselves in horrific ways is something I will praise, particularly with the guy just letting himself getting eaten by lions, the old woman at the end of the film smashing her head into the windows, jamming glass into her face, or the one-take sequence of people each using the same gun to shoot themselves in the head. The R rating benefits these kills massively, as this is probably the most overtly violent and bloody Shyamalan film I've seen.
James Newton Howard once again crushes it with the score, no matter how vastly wide in quality Shyamalan films have ranged during this journey, his scores are always a high point for me.
Lady in the Water (2006)
About As Deep as a Puddle
This film was an absolute slog to get through. Aside from Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard, the acting from the rest of the cast is so goddamn stiff and monotonous. This especially doesn't help the fact that most of the characters are bland cutouts that we barely get to know. M Night seems to want to convince us otherwise, as he tries to play with character archetypes, but this manipulation ends up feeling surface level at best.
The story is by far the worst aspect, as while it starts off somewhat promising with Giamatti trying to figure out how to get this fantastic water nymph home and realize her purpose here on Earth, it quickly devolves into exposition dumps with lore that's borderline incomprehensible. This leads to the final act of this movie being extremely rushed, with an abrupt and unsatisfying conclusion.
One good thing I will say about Lady in the Water is that the score is actually extremely beautiful. James Newton Howard really hasn't missed in any of the Shyamalan films I've seen him featured in.
Signs (2002)
Close Encounters of the "Meh" Kind
Signs is an extremely frustrating movie to me as on one hand, it has moments of great tension and suspense, elevated immensely by the incredible score by James Newton Howard and incredible cinematography. There's a reason why the Brazilian birthday party scene is still held in such high regard, and the artistic choices used to obscure the aliens until the climax are quite clever as well, making the audience question if they truly are a malevolent force or simply just misunderstood.
Mel Gibson also gives a great performance of a priest who lost his faith having to confront his beliefs during an alien invasion, all while trying to keep his family together. That scene at the dinner table where Morgan blames his father for their mother's death is absolutely heartbreaking.
However, Signs is also plagued with all the negative tropes Shyamalan has developed over the years: a lot of the dialogue feels stilted and unnatural, loads of one-dimensional side characters, and a ending twist that barely adds anything to the plot and comes out of nowhere.