JamesL-4 Reviews

Never Say Never Again (1983)

Yet another reason why I prefer Moore or Dalton!

[3/10 · 5 August 2004]

It only took one viewing of this dog, for me to say "Never again!" It's so profoundly unmemorable that I had to read other people's reactions to it before I could remember anything beyond (1) it was awful, (2) Connery should have quit while he was ahead, and (3) the film included a total gross-out bit involving faking a retinal scan through the most gruesome (not to mention horribly inefficient) means possible.

Actually, I've never understood why anybody would prefer even the best of Connery's Bond films over even the worst Moore or Dalton outings. Or Lazenby, Brosnan, or even David Niven, for that matter. I personally found Octopussy and Moonraker, among other "canonical" Bond films, to be far more entertaining than this, and probably for the very same reasons why others deprecate the Moore Bond films, namely their wry humor, and their willingness to surrender to the preposterousness of the whole basic Bond milieu.

1776 (1972)

Should be required viewing.

[9/10 · 28 June 2004]

Back when I was in high school, an off-air recording of the network television version of 1776 was part of my American History class. As well it should have been, since underlying the musical comedy is an awful lot of very careful research.

But the restored version, complete with the "Cool, Considerate Men" production number that Jack Warner had cut (at Nixon's request) from the original release, that was released on DVD for the 30th anniversary, is even better, and it ought to be required viewing not only for high school U.S. History students, but for voters, and for a joint session of the United States Congress. For this musical, in addition to being very entertaining, manages to lay bare the motivations of those who opposed Independence back in 1776, motivations that are not at all difficult to find today.

I also note that William Daniels' portrayal of John Adams on both stage and screen was so good that, without actually typecasting him in the role, it appears to have earned him the same role in a miniseries. (He also played John Quincy Adams in two other productions, and Samuel Adams in yet another). And Ken Howard also returned to the role of Thomas Jefferson in another production.

Incidentally, Daniels and Howard, along with Howard DaSilva, Roy Poole, David Ford, Emory Bass, Ralston Hill, William Duell, and Jonathan Moore, all came over from the original Broadway cast. (Notably, Star Trek's Brent Spiner played John Adams in a Broadway revival production that, to my knowledge, didn't include any of the original Broadway or film cast.)

Blazing Saddles (1974)

Not only blazingly funny, but socially relevant, too.

[9/10 · 25 June 2004]

In Blazing Saddles, Mel Brooks managed to run the gamut from slapstick to refined wit (with sexual and scatological humor falling somewhere in the middle), all the while parodying everything from westerns to Looney Tunes, and ruthlessly satirizing greed, corruption, and racism. It's also quite possibly the only context in which "The N-Word" is used to strike a blow against racism.

Even the character names are gags: for example, "Lilli Von Shtupp" is named after a Yiddish sexual term, and "Governor LePetomaine" was named after a French performer whose act was based on flatulence. And of course, there's the whole town full of rather-inbred people named Johnson, and Harvey Korman's character, whose name is a reference to Hedy Lamarr.

Many have labeled the humor racist. Those who do, simply don't get it. The whole point was to show the inherent idiocy of racism: in short, to satirize it.

Discovery '70 (I) (1962–1971)

Only a vague memory

[16 June 2004]

I vaguely remember the series in its "Discovery '66" and "Discovery '67" incarnations, and never realized that it went all the way back to 1962. Neither did I realize at the time (I was only 4 or 5 at the time I remember seeing it) that it was intended as a children's series. I simply assumed that it was something shown on weekends when there wasn't a ball game, perhaps an ancestor of Huell Howser's programs, or of typical weekend daytime PBS fare of the 1980s and 1990s, or of today's various Discovery Channel series. About the only other thing I remember about it was that it was, as the other, more extensive comment mentions, suitable not just for children, but for the whole family.

Grand (1990)

A "Soap Operetta" about life in a company town.

[9 June 2004]

In this case, the "company town" is a town built not around a coal mine or a lumber mill, but around a piano factory.

What do I mean by "soap operetta"? Well, just as an operetta is a comedy in somewhat scaled-down opera form, "Grand" was (far more than outright soap opera spoofs like "Soap" or "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman") a comedy in scaled-down soap opera form. Also, like a typical operetta, and unlike a typical soap opera spoof, the humor was gentle, witty, and largely suitable for a family audience.

I never even knew there WAS a second season of the show, or that the second season mostly threw out the "soap operetta" format, but what I saw of the series, I thoroughly enjoyed. The characters were the sort of people you actually would want to meet, something sadly lacking in an awful lot of television.

And the open used throughout the first season was certainly one of the best sitcom opens ever constructed.

It Couldn't Happen to a Nicer Guy (1974 TV Movie)

Tasteless and improbable premise

[1/10 · 7 November 2003]

There is some merit to the idea of examining the question, "what if a woman were to rape a man," notwithstanding the fact that, unless the woman had some drug capable of inducing an uncontrollable erection, such an incident is physiologically unlikely.

Unfortunately, while this film did manage to bring up the question, it did so mainly for the sake of a few tasteless laughs, which managed to overshadow anything meaningful it might have tried to say.

Enemy Mine (1985)

A beautiful, and very under-rated film

[9/10 · 9 January 2003]

In the very best fiction regardless of genre, whether it's science fiction, detective, historical romance, contemporary realism, or whatever, the story is never the slave of the genre's trappings; rather, the genre, and its trappings, serve the needs of the story, which then transcends the genre, and in so doing, enriches it.

So it is with Enemy Mine. It's not about technology. It's not about some bizarre phenomenon. It's about two people, hereditary enemies forced to work together to survive, and the science fiction trappings function here only as a means of making the differences between the two people seem all the more insurmountable. And it is precisely this subordination of genre to story that makes this film both a beautiful science fiction story, and a beautiful story regardless of genre.

Moonraker (1979)

Implausible, yes, but I liked it.

[7/10 · 19 August 2002]

I'd say that if you prefer the Roger Moore Bond to the Sean Connery Bond (as I do, and I don't care who knows it), you might like this one. If you're so devoted to Connery's Bond that you actually liked "Never Say Never Again," then you'll probably hate this even more than you hate most Moore (and probably also Dalton) Bond films.

Sure, it's full of plot holes. One's right in the teaser: A space shuttle that looks exactly like the ones we've had for some 20 years, blasting away from its "ferry" 747 under its own power? With main engines that have no onboard fuel supply??

But in my book, Bond films aren't supposed to be realistic; they're supposed to be fun. And for me, this has everything that made the other Moore Bond films fun.

Held Up (1999)

Not the worst I've seen. But close.

[1/10 · 25 June 2002]

I saw this film aboard a bus, in November of 2000, on my way from the Tallahassee Amtrak station and Walt Disney World (the tracks were being worked on). I was thus a captive audience for the bus driver's taste in movies; otherwise, I never would have seen it.

It's hard to imagine that Barry Corbin and John Cullum (from Northern Exposure), and Julie Hagerty (from the Airplane movies) would have wasted their time with anything this bad: nobody could be that hard up for work.

That's not to say that the movie didn't get a few laughs from me, and from the other passengers on the bus. But we weren't laughing WITH it; we were laughing AT it.

Apollo 13 (I) (1995)

Profoundly stirring

[9/10 · 16 May 2002]

I lived through the real thing. Along with most of the country, I was uncertain whether we'd get Lovell, Haise, and Swigert home alive. Even though, like anybody who lived through the real events, or anybody who had read about them in recent history, I knew how the film would end, I still relived the tension of waiting for the spacecraft to return, knowing that nobody on the ground could do anything to save the astronauts that couldn't be accomplished by talking to them, and at the end, I relived the joy, triumph, and profound relief I felt as a child, when three good parachutes appeared, the spacecraft splashed down, and the crew was pulled out alive.

Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, and company did that good of a job.

Just writing this review is enough to start the tears flowing.

The Starlost (1973–1974)

Personally, I couldn't sit through the first episode.

[9 November 2001]

I don't remember a whole lot about this one, but I do remember that it was done on an absurdly low budget, and looked and sounded every bit of it. It was shot on videotape at a time when even most sitcoms were filmed, and it looked like it had been shot with cheap cameras on cheap tape. The whole concept of some disaster destroying Earth, with enough warning to allow for a huge generation ship to be built, then another disaster, a century or two later, destroying the bridge and killing the crew, and the passengers, 500 years after launch, having forgotten they were on a spaceship, was rather depressing and pessimistic. The sets were as cheap and boring as the video, and the music was utterly creepy.

Here Come the Brides (1968–1970)

I seem to be the only one who finds it mildly interesting.

[9 November 2001]

Everybody else seems to either love the series or hate it, passionately either way. Personally, I simply find it mildly interesting, better than a lot of what I've seen, but by no means spectacular. It is, of course, loosely (the operative word) based on the early history of Seattle, and on various projects (including, but not limited to the best known group, the "Mercer Girls") that enticed young, unmarried (or widowed) women to Seattle, to marry the settlers.

One interesting bit of trivia (and a probable reason why the series was as good as it was): several of the regular cast members had made guest appearances on Star Trek, some years earlier. Mark Lenard (Aaron Stempel) had played both Sarek and the first Romulan Commander; David Soul had appeared in "The Apple"; Robert Brown had played Lazarus in "The Alternative Factor."

Space Cowboys (2000)

Flawed, but not badly. Enjoyable, but could have been better.

[7/10 · 10 July 2001]

Space Cowboys is hardly as bad as some of the worst user comments would have you believe, but neither is it flawless.

It's an engaging story about four pilots from a canceled Air Force space program, reunited to save a Russian communications satellite. The biggest believability flaws I see are not in the special effects, but in matters of personnel and procedures.

In the real world, space has been called "an old man's game." John Young, from the first Gemini mission, was the first shuttle pilot. Deke Slayton was one of the Mercury Seven, the only one who didn't go up on a Redstone or an Atlas, and after being grounded for years on a health concern, he flew on Apollo-Soyuz. So why is it that we see such a young astronaut corps here, and such a prejudice against age?

Then, too, it's rather inconceivable that NASA has never once considered the possibility that a shuttle pilot might have to reenter and land on full manual control. Yet here, it's treated as something that "can't be done," until one of our four old men demonstrates otherwise.

Then, when our guys finally do go up, they've hardly had adequate time to train as anything but mission specialists, so what are the two experienced shuttle pilots doing on the mid-deck at launch, with four mission specialists on the flight-deck? As I recall, Glenn rode on the mid-deck.

SPOILER AHEAD

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It was rather obvious from the beginning that this communication satellite had to have some sort of a secret. It was too bloody big, and keeping it from crashing was too bloody important, for it not to.

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BIG SPOILER

The ending, with one of our guys buying it to save the world, kind of reminds me of the ending of Star Trek II, though not nearly as well-done.

It Couldn't Happen to a Nicer Guy (1974 TV Movie)

About the only good thing I can say about it is . . .

[1/10 · 5 June 2001]

About the only good thing I can say about it is that it isn't Rabbit Test. This bottom-of-the-barrel made-for-TV makes light of rape, a crime that is arguably even more grievous than murder. Probably the most amazing thing about it is that Get Smart alumni Arne Sultan accepted writing and producing credits under his own name, and that as many stars participated as did.

It could perhaps be argued that it at least attempted to point out the difficulty women have historically had in getting rape taken seriously, but its success at that attempt is debatable at best.

Shrek (2001)

Rolling on floor laughing.

[9/10 · 30 May 2001]

Sure, there's crude humor, and sure, it's debatable whether it's suitable for children, but it's funny. The very concept (brave, kind-hearted ogre saves beautiful princess from wicked, mean-spirited prince) is anti-stereotypical enough to be funny, and the picture probably doesn't miss a single opportunity for an in-joke.

Tron (1982)

Truly a classic.

[9/10 · 8 May 2001]

Tron is, so far as I am aware, the first motion picture to be based on the paradigm of a computer as a place for programs to live and work, and it argues quite eloquently for that paradigm. The combination of computer animation, colorized black-and-white footage, photo-rotoscoping, and creative set and costume design gives the world inside the computer a striking appearance, and the score, combining live orchestra, live chorus, analog and digital synths, and the Royal Albert Hall organ, is one of the finest to come from the pen of synthesist/composer Wendy Carlos.

Rabbit Test (1978)

Maltin was far too kind

[1/10 · 23 March 2001]

Leonard Maltin compared this film to a Mel Brooks comedy. He was far too kind to Ms. Rivers, and far too cruel to Mr. Brooks. Not even the raunchiest Mel Brooks films are this tasteless, and at least they're genuinely funny. This picture deserves a place on the hundred-worst list.

Search (1972–1973)

A one-season wonder that missed its audience

[5 December 2000]

"Search" is a series that failed to find its audience mainly because most of that audience was already in bed (time slot 9 or 10 PM on a school night; it was the first series I got to stay up late for!). It's also a series that could not have existed before the world watched Neil Armstrong set foot on the Moon, since the concept of a room full of specialists monitoring and assisting the agent is, of course, based on the room full of specialists in Houston who monitor and assist our astronauts.

Note that Bob Justman (of Star Trek fame) was involved; undoubtedly it was because of Star Trek's influence that the aforementioned room full of specialists included African-Americans, Asian-Americans and women.

All in all, it's a shame it didn't catch on, but then again, most of the audience had to be in bed early on school nights. Incidentally, the pilot film used to show up on local stations every year or so, though not for quite a few years.

Meeting of Minds (1977–1981)

Steve Allen's masterpiece, and his greatest legacy

[1 December 2000]

If all the songs Steve Allen wrote are forgotten, if nobody remembers that it was he who invented the late night talk show, and if nothing else he did makes a difference, Meeting of Minds is the one thing Steve Allen should be remembered for. It is television at its best: entertaining, yet also intellectually stimulating and educational. It doesn't sacrifice entertainment for education, or education for entertainment: it combines the two in a way that creates a whole that is infinitely greater than the sum of the parts. It must never be forgotten.

You've Got Mail (1998)

Cute, enjoyable; a pleasant surprise

[7/10 · 11 February 2000]

I was on Amtrak's Coast Starlight, on my way to Sacramento last spring, when I saw this. There's not a whole lot to do on a train once it's too dark to see the scenery, and besides, I've always liked both Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

I hadn't bothered to see it when it was out in the theatres, although I remembered noticing it and thinking about seeing it; when I noticed it on the entertainment schedule for the lounge car, I made a point of scheduling my dining car reservation around it. I was not only not disappointed; I was quite delighted with it.

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

Excellent, but it could have been even better

[9/10 · 13 January 2000]

Walt had originally intended Fantasia to be a sort of "modular" feature: one that could be re-released periodically with some segments rotated out and replaced with new ones. Although some work was done in that direction, nothing ever came of Walt's original concept. Until now.

Fantasia 2000 is well worth the ticket price, and makes truly spectacular use of IMAX. The only flaw I find in it is that music was cut, very severely in a couple of cases, rather than letting the picture run the full two hours of the original. The unkindest cut of all would have to be Beethoven's Fifth, represented by a "Readers' Digest Condensed" version of its first movement (i.e., the exposition, development, recapitulation and coda telescoped into a single run-through of the themes), with Saint-Saens' Carnival of the Animals (represented only by its finale) a close second.

Still, even with its one flaw (and perhaps it's not yet practical to cram two uninterupted hours of IMAX film into the projection booth), it's not to be missed.

At the Circus (1939)

Kind of underrated

[27 September 1999]

Not in the same league with "Animal Crackers," but still, it's worth watching, and hardly the worst thing Groucho, Harpo and Chico ever did. The scene of Groucho singing "Lydia the Tattooed Lady" is enough reason by itself to see the picture.

Return to Oz (1985)

Not perfect, but it didn't deserve to flop

[8/10 · 2 September 1999]

There are a few things wrong with this movie, but they're balanced by a great many things that are right with it.

It does have a somewhat darker vision of Oz than most of the books did, including the two ("The Land of Oz" and "Ozma of Oz") it was based on, but not fatally so, and it took far fewer liberties with the original material than the MGM musical did. (In particular, it avoided the unpardonable offense of dismissing Oz as a dream.)

*** WARNING: very minor spoiler about a character below! ***

Just about everything that was wrong with it was the result of (1) combining the second book (the only one without Dorothy) with the third, (2) rolling certain characters together (most notably, giving Princess Langwiedere's collection of heads to Mombi the Witch) and eliminating others entirely (e.g. the Royal Family of Ev), and (3) maintaining continuity with some of the more absurd liberties the MGM musical took (e.g., ruby slippers).

All in all, it's worth seeing, but then, all fourteen books are worth reading.

Wild Wild West (1999)

I don't quite get why it's the target of so much bile.

[7/10 · 5 August 1999]

If you liked Roger Moore's last few Bond films (e.g., Moonraker), you'll probably like this. If you regard Moore's portrayal as the worst Bond, you'll probably hate it. Because this tongue-in-cheek romp is essentially a Roger Moore Bond film (as in one of his later ones; think of Will Smith's James West as a black Bond, and Kevin Kline's Artemus Gordon as a young "Q") done as a western. I found it a pleasant afternoon's entertainment, and liked the fact that it never took itself (or the laws of physics) seriously. In some ways, it also reminds me of a good Roadrunner/Coyote cartoon short. Simply put, don't take it too seriously, and just enjoy the ride, surreal absurdity and all.