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Reviews
Smallville: Hidden (2005)
A Good But Somewhat Compromised Episode...
"Smallville" has long been one of my favorites shows, for many reasons. While the Season 5 episode "Hidden" is a good one, it also has one fairly major problem - the introduction of Clark Kent and Lana Lang having premarital sex (thankfully, not on-screen).
I know some will call me a Puritan for this, but I don't care. Superman is supposed to be a symbol for people to look up to, both emotionally and morally. And even though Clark Kent hasn't yet donned the costume at this point, I still think the writers should have maintained his overall integrity. I can't blame Tom Welling or Kristin Kreuk for this - they're actors being paid to do a scene. But the producers and writers should've exercised better judgment, in my opinion.
The one saving grace to this aspect of the episode, is Jonathan Kent's reaction when he learns of Clark and Lana's activities the next morning. The younger characters both try to justify their behavior, and even his mother Martha is more liberal than conservative about it. But Jonathan's mix of both anger and disappointment is very clear in that scene. At one point, he tells Clark, "There's many conversations I never had with you, because I didn't think I needed to." His attitude is that he expected Clark to make a better choice, than simply following his hormones.
Otherwise, the rest of the episode is pretty good. The main plot involves a mentally-unhinged young man named Gabriel, who kidnaps Chloe Sullivan to have her aid him in arming a nuclear warhead to destroy Smallville. At this point, Clark has been rendered mortal, so when Gabriel shoots him he dies in the hospital. But in a very cool twist, Lex's father Lionel is taken over by the spirit of Clark's Kryptonian father, Jor-El. He explains that the only way for Clark to return is with his powers restored, but also says that such a resurrection will require the life of someone Clark loves in return. John Glover channeled Marlon Brando perfectly in that scene; I can't even imagine how much rehearsal went into it.
The Mask (1994)
Truly "Sssmokin!"
I'm no rabid fan of Jim Carrey; there's many of his films I've never seen. But no one can deny his comedic skill, and I have loved this movie for 30 years. I saw it eight times when it first came out, and have probably watched it 100 times or more since - its that good.
The story is actually pretty simple. Edge City is a crime-ridden place run by the evil Niko, but his power-hungry subordinate Dorian Tyrell is planning to overtake him. Dorian's girlfriend is club singer Tina Carlyle, but their relationship is contentious as she's more of a free soul and he treats her like property. Dorian plans to rob the Edge City Bank so he can get rid of Niko, and warns Tina "there will be payback for anyone who crosses me."
Meanwhile, enter mild and lonely bank clerk Stanley Ipkiss, whose good at his job but lets most people walk all over him. He doesn't have much confidence in himself, and is easily manipulated by women (especially his temperamental landlady). His only friends are fellow clerk Charlie Schumaker, and his dog Milo. When Tina enters the bank (secretly on a mission for Dorian), the two are instantly attracted to each other, but neither act on it. Charlie insists that Tina is an opportunist, always looking for the "bigger better deal", but Stanley thinks otherwise. Charlie talks him into attending a party at the club where Tina works, the Coco Bongo.
Later that day, Stanley visits the local auto shop to pick up his car, which he had submitted for an oil change, but is told by the mechanics that he actually needs several major repairs. Their attitude suggests they are cheating him, but Stanley is mostly oblivious to it. They give him a broken-down "loaner" as a temporary replacement, and he makes his way to the club to meet with Charlie. But while his friend is able to access the club by bribing Dorian's security, Stanley fails and is literally thrown to the roadside. Tina sees him there; she is mildly amused by his embarrassment. He angrily drives away, but the "loaner" breaks down on a covered bridge.
Frustrated by the multiple setbacks he's been facing lately, Ipkiss takes a brief moment to wonder about his life's true purpose. Staring at the river below, he sees what he thinks is a body in the water. Jumping in, he discovers its only a heap of trash, topped by a strange-looking mask. He's found and escorted home by the local police, where he runs afoul of his landlady Mrs. Peenman. Shortly after, he notices his dog Milo barking at the mask, and playfully tries it on...only to be magically transformed into a living cartoon-like wildman with supernatural powers.
Causing some mild mayhem in his apartment building's hallway, Stanley riles the fury of Mrs. Peenman, who fires at him with her shotgun. He escapes through the window to the street, where some thugs try to rob him. At first, he uses his new powers to toy with them by making balloon animals, but quickly turns his last one into a functional Tommy-gun, unloading a hail of gunfire and frightening them off. He also visits the auto shop, taking vengeance on the mechanics who cheated him.
The next morning, Stanley awakes at home, in his pajamas and with the mask next to him on his bed. Assuming the previous night's events were a dream, he is surprised to receive a visit by police lieutenant Mitch Kellaway. The cop briefly questions Stanley about Mrs. Peenman's "prowler", but when Stanley can't answer his questions, Kellaway gives him his business card and leaves. Realizing he's late for work, Stanley hurriedly gets dressed and leaves, throwing the mask out the window...but it ricochets in midair and flies back in.
At the bank, Stanley is confronted by his boss Mr. Dickey, who angrily lectures him for his tardiness. Timidly, Stanley takes the abuse, only to be slightly comforted by Charlie. Also, the attack on the auto mechanics attracts the attention of aspiring reporter Peggy Brandt, who's seeking to make a solid reputation for herself outside of her paper's advice column. Peggy asks Stanley what he knows about the attack, but he feigns ignorance, and she gives him her phone number, assuring him she won't make trouble for him.
Back at his apartment after work, Stanley notices the mask has returned. At first reluctant to wear it again, he soon gives in to the temptation, this time breaking into the Edge City Bank himself, and then heading to the Coco Bongo to see Tina perform. Using his magical powers to transform the club's band, Stanley dances with Tina to the delight of the other patrons, and then passionately kisses her, knocking her off her feet.
In another room, Dorian finds that one of his men, Freeze, was wounded by cops at Stanley's visit to the bank. Freeze soon dies of his injuries, and Dorian vows vengeance. One of his men shoots at Stanley, part of whose yellow suit transforms back into his pajamas. Stanley escapes, and Kellaway shows up to arrest Dorian on suspicion of robbery, finding the pajama piece which leads him to Stanley's apartment the next morning.
Questioning Stanley about the actions of "this Mask character", Kellaway is upset when Ipkiss again tries to appear clueless. The lieutenant asks to see Stanley's pajamas, but he says they were stolen. Back at police headquarters with his clumsy partner Doyle, Kellaway asks that the Mask's fingerprints be checked against Stanley's from the bank's employment records. A coworker confirms they're a match, so Kellaway and Doyle plan a sting operation to catch Stanley in another criminal act. Meanwhile, Tina visits him at the bank, where she confesses her attraction to the Mask and sets up a meeting with him at the local park.
Confused about his dual identity and not knowing what to do, Stanley consults author and historian Arthur Neuman the next day, who suggests the wooden mask is possessed by the spirit of the Norse night god, Loki. While Stanley takes this literally, Neuman insists its just a myth. When he tries wearing the mask in front of Neuman to prove its power, Stanley is shocked when it doesn't work. Concluding the mask only works at night, Stanley is advised by Neuman to visit Tina "both as yourself and as the Mask, because they are both the same beautiful person."
Tina arrives at the park that night, but is initially surprised to see Stanley there instead of the Mask. After a brief conversation that seems to be going nowhere, Stanley concludes things are pointless without the mask's power, and puts it on again to become his superpowered self so he can again woo Tina. But this time, his more brazen advances scare her off, and Kellaway and Doyle soon arrive, having tracked him to the park. Briefly arrested and searched, the Mask soon escapes with help from Peggy, who has also followed him.
Now human again, Stanley tells Peggy of the mask, and at first she seems friendly. But it soon becomes apparent that she is in league with Dorian, who pays her a ransom for delivering Stanley to him. Captured, Stanley tells Dorian he doesn't know how the mask works, "you just put it on." Doing so, Dorian becomes a grotesque version of himself, more evil than usual and with the Mask's powers to boot. Using his hired goons to hand Stanley over to the cops, Dorian learns the next day that Tina has visited Stanley in prison, and that she plans to leave town. Intimidating her, Dorian says he is hosting another party at the Coco Bongo, and that "we're gonna have one hell of a time."
Believing he will spend many years in jail for his crimes, Stanley is at first despondent, and tells his dog Milo to find a new master. But the next morning, he learns of Dorian's plans and is determined to stop him. He knocks out a guard, and manipulates Kellaway into freeing him. Showing up at the club, he is soon captured by Dorian's men, while Tina is tied to a timed bomb. Tina says she wants one last kiss from Dorian, and he agrees, removing the mask to grant her wish. But she kicks it out of his hands, and it is caught by Stanley's dog Milo, who wears it and is turned into a comical canine who torments Dorian's gangsters. Stanley fights the leader off himself, and soon retrieves the mask from Milo so he can face the gang members himself. Dorian tries one last time to kill Stanley with a switchblade, but as the Mask, Ipkiss produces a flushing whirlpool in the club's drain, sending Dorian to his death. Kellaway arrives and arrests the gang, while Stanley, Tina, and Charlie head to a bridge on the outskirts of town. The now-heroic Ipkiss asks Tina if she will miss the Mask, saying "once he's gone, all that's left is me." She briefly considers his question, then takes the mask from him and throws into into the river, kissing him. Charlie tries to get it back for himself, but is prevented by Milo. Stanley breaks out of his kiss with Tina for a short moment, utters his famous catchphrase "Sssmokin!", then returns to their embrace as the credits roll.
This movie has it all: comedy, villainy, cartoon antics, and a ton of heart. Jim Carrey was still fairly early into his film career at the time, but director Charles Russell had seen him on the TV show "In Living Color", and knew he could play the crazy role of the Mask without a problem. Cameron Diaz was a newcomer at the time, just a 22-year-old model with no previous acting experience. The film's producers thought she wasn't sexy enough for Tina, but Russell fought hard to cast her. They still put her in tight costumes and push-up bras though, which just goes to show you how sex-obsessed Hollywood remains.
The supporting cast was very good too, with noted character actors Peter Greene as Dorian Tyrell, Peter Riegert as Mitch Kellaway, Richard Jeni as Charlie Schumaker, and Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt. Respected scholar and intellectual Ben Stein appears as Arthur Neuman. 1980s swing group Royal Crown Revue appeared as the Coco Bongo house band, performing the song "Hey, Pachuco" during Stanley and Tina's dance number. All in all, this remains truly wonderful.
The Crow: Salvation (2000)
Some Good Performances, But Still A Big Mess
This is easily the best of the "Crow" sequels, but that's not saying much. I really like Eric Mabius as Alex Corvis - he clearly enjoyed playing the character and it showed through his sly smiles and more dramatic moments too. My favorite scenes in the whole film are his car ride with Dale Midkiff, and when he shows Lauren exactly how much her sister fought to live.
That said, this movie is still a big mess, mainly because of the same problem "City of Angels" suffered - too much sexual and gory content. The original film kept both to a minimum, and still managed to tell a convincing story. But with all the sequels, its lust a blood times a thousand, which not only makes for a sickening movie but also drowns out any good aspects. A clear example of this is a strip joint called The Key Club, which is supposedly a headquarters for the corrupt cops' money-laundering operation. But the camera lingers on naked women and other such crap, when having that location adds nothing to the story besides accomplishing an R rating. The first film did this a little bit, showing Bai Ling in the shower from behind and a brief topless shot of a drugged-out woman...but the sequels amped it up to crazy levels.
The film's other performances are mostly sub-par, though I totally believed Jodi-Lyn O'Keefe in Lauren Randall's death scenes. Kirsten Dunst offered a pre-"Spider-Man" turn as Lauren's sister Erin, and she has good chemistry with Eric Mabius...but otherwise she seemed one-note. The villains all seem like caricatures for the most part, but that's a problem that goes back to the original film with the ridiculous "Fire it up!" chant and swallowing bullets.
In summation, this film could probably be edited down to a PG-13, and still offer a good story. Who knows - maybe I'll do it myself someday just for kicks.
Spider-Man (2002)
Good Overall, But Has Some Notable Problems...
I've seen a great many films in my time, and most fade with the passage of time. It's been six years since this movie's release, and unlike most efforts, it still holds up very well. Tobey Maguire, previously seen at that time in the controversial "Pleasantville", gained worldwide attention when director Sam Raimi cast him in the title role. By contrast, Kirsten Dunst's portrayal of Mary Jane Watson was (and still is) widely debated among both critics and the fans. Personally, I enjoyed her role very much, and thought she did a wonderful job with both the empathy and strength of the character. So many heroines in films seem shallow, weak, or oversexed. Mary Jane is none of those, although one scene does push the third reference quite a bit (more on that later).
James Franco, who went on to star as a military trainee in the drama "Annapolis", does a nearly-perfect job as Harry Osborn. The character has been taken through many trials in the comic world, from drug addiction to demon posession (thank God the filmmakers didn't use either of those!); as such, it takes a talented actor to fill those shoes, and Franco does it justice. Willem Dafoe, as both Harry's father Norman and the psychotic Green Goblin, gives one of the greatest performances of his career, playing both sides of the proverbial coin: a weak-willed, oppritunistic man bent on success, and a crazed, evil being who revels in death and destruction.
But by far, my favorite role in this film is "Law & Order" star J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. He truly enjoys playing this character, and it shows on every conceivable level. As the saying goes, he truly "eats the scenery" in all his moments. Casting him was a stroke of pure genius.
The effects in this film are truly wonderful, though in retrospect the two sequels have definitely improved them. Still, the costumes, colors, and heroics are all stylishly believable. The world of this film is recognizably ours, yet raised slightly, to mirror the fantastic tone of the comics. Explosions, web-swinging aerial photography, digital composites, practical stunts - all these and more keep this film at an often-frenetic and rarely dull pace.
The music, composed by film legend Danny Elfman ("Beetlejuice", "Batman"), consists of everything from wondrous, gentle string arrangements to grand, epic stanzas, and Elfman works each one like the professional that he is. From the love theme for MJ and Peter, to the phenomenal main titles, the score is brilliant from start to finish.
Lastly, my criticisms, few but important. Being a PG-13 film, you might expect certain films to push every conceivable boundary; "Spider-Man" is a welcome release, in that it aims for heroic, selfless integrity, and succeeds for the most part. Still, there exist a few moments of note. One such moment takes place during the thunderstorm rescue with Mary Jane Watson. During a series of shots, the rain has soaked her clothes entirely, and her shirt almost looks like it belongs to a "Wet T-shirt" contestant (Dunst's breasts and nipples are partially visible through the material). Given the situation (a cold, wet thunderstorm at night), her attire is understandable, though morally unacceptable. To Raimi's credit, the scenes are quickly edited and not extremely graphic, though I personally believe decency should have been a higher priority in this situation.
Secondly, the violence. Being a superhero film, this movie fits that formula, having our wall-crawling avatar battle numerous thugs, as well as the Goblin. Citizens are often in peril (Mary Jane in particular), and though not bloody, many of the action sequences feature flying punches and kicks galore. The language in this film is thankfully kept to a minimum, with the most recurring instances being remarks such as "ass" or "hell". For such a film, I truly applaud Sam Raimi's effort at maintaining decency for most of this entry.
This film gets an 8 out of 10, deducting two points for violence and sexual material. The nobility, respect, and (in most cases) upright morality are a welcome change of pace from the excessive swearing, explicit sex, and buckets of blood seen in many modern films.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Best of the Trilogy, With Some Minor Issues...
I saw this film on opening day in 2004, and in November of that year I purchased the Special Edition DVD. Ever since, it has remained one of my favorite superhero films of all time. The actors truly explore their characters, giving them even more life and attitude.
Tobey Maguire does excellent work, playing each and every side of Peter's changing emotions with an effectiveness rarely matched. His confliction between honor and desire comes through perfectly. Kirsten Dunst brings more of a fierce backbone to Mary Jane, and James Franco brings a seething hatred to Harry Osborn...at times, you don't know whether to hate him back, or feel for him. J.K. Simmons again "eats the scenery" as J. Jonah Jameson, being extremely funny, yet never outright campy...and Alfred Molina makes a wonderful turn as a wrecked scientist seeking comfort, who then becomes a victim of his own twisted invention.
The special effects have improved by leaps and bounds, yet they never aim to distract from the tale. So many films these days let the effects guide the story, rather than the other way around. The "stylized world" remains intact, and is given a grander, bigger feel. But the crowned jewel of this picture, in terms of effects, is really Dr. Octopus' tentacles. Created through a mix of brilliant puppetry and computer animation, they take on a life of their own.
The music, reprised and expanded by Danny Elfman, soars to new heights while retaining much of the magic that made his original score so successful. Many of the themes found in "Spider-Man" are present here as well, and there's some new material to enjoy on top of it.
As for the criticisms, I have fewer with this than I did with the original. The film still pushes boundaries, but it's more relaxed than last time around. Mary Jane gets soaked again, being at a riverside lair. Her dress is drenched, but the "Wet T-shirt" controversy from the first round is all but absent (the outline of her nipples is still partially visible at one point, but it's very brief). I give Raimi both credit and applause, for listening to those who complained about the similar moment from his 2002 effort.
Like the franchise's first entry, this film holds very true to the superhero formula, featuring many battles of epic proportions, As before, citizens are still in peril, and the action sequences feature the familiar acrobatics of the first film. The biggest moment of violence occurs about halfway in, when an unconcscious Ock sleeps at a hospital, while his sentient tentacles kill the medical crew. It's chilling, but not gory. The language in this film is again at a minimum, with remarks present but not overly abrasive.
This film gets a 9 out of 10, deducting a single point for violence and minor sexuality. The upright morality of its predecessor is furthered all the more, in the rare case of a sequel that's actually better than the original.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Very Problematic, But Not Horrible...
After the worldwide success of the first two "Spider-Man" films, director Sam Raimi and the cast decided to take a break. The first two had been shot almost back-to-back, with very little "down time" in between. So, in late 2005, about 18 months after the release of "Spider-Man 2", Raimi began fleshing out ideas for a third storyline. For this chapter, the director wanted to teach Peter Parker about forgiveness; to do so, he'd need a villain with personal ties. The problem was that, besides the Osborn family and Otto Octavius, no villains in the comics had such a huge connection. Raimi didn't want to contradict a well-established character, so he sought one out whose backstory had never been fully realized: the Sandman, whose literary incarnation was little more than a random thief. Connecting the character to the death of Ben Parker gave Peter a huge obstacle that needed facing. Wrapping up Harry Osborn's story was also necessary, since Marvel wasn't sure if James Franco would agree to more chapters in the franchise. The addition of Gwen Stacy (who in the comics, was Peter's first love) was done mainly for the fans, and to create a conflicted love triangle with Peter & Mary Jane. Satisfied with his concept, Raimi told his plans to Marvel Comics; the result was less than expected.
Marvel CEO (at that time) Avi Arad liked the story very much, but he had one concern. Online polls had been screaming with fan theories and guesses ever since the second film's release, wondering who the next villian would be. Arad was concerned that the Sandman wouldn't attract a big enough audience alone, so he asked Raimi to include a fan favorite: Venom. When Raimi intially refused, Arad pressured him. Raimi eventually agreed, and so the black suit story from the comics' "Secret Wars" arc was simplified and added to the script.
Therein lies my biggest problem with "Spider-Man 3". I liked the Venom character as a kid, but in all honesty having 4 villains in the same film (Harry, Marko, the black symbiote itself, and eventually Venom) was just too much at once. From the standpoint of a fan, I'd have preferred that Venom be saved for a future entry, so he could have taken center stage. By having him alongside both Marko and Harry Osborn, the story became rather confusing for many fans, and the film's box office suffered as a direct result. Overall, this film made less money across the board than its predecessor...all because of corporate greed.
That being said, I still enjoy the film on many levels, but knowing what caused the multi-arc story makes some moments bittersweet. The actors clearly enjoyed this ride, but something in general seemed a bit lacking. Looking back, I realize it was the Venom character. The fact of it essentially being forced into the narrative only made the tale confusing and hard to follow. It became one of those films many people have to watch more than once, just to understand it...and these days, audiences don't have a lot of patience for films with too many angles. Rightfully so, in my opinion.
Tobey Maguire, slipping into the spandex suit for a third try, really shows his acting range here, even more so than his diverse performance in "Spider-Man 2". From intense love to seething hatred (and everything in between), he really brings his game up to a whole new level. Kirsten Dunst shines again as Parker's star-crossed love, Mary Jane Watson. I liked her performance very much, and her singing in the film is beautiful. She's less helpless than in either prior entry, and far more confident. Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of acclaimed director Ron) makes her first apearance in the franchise as the bubbling, exuberant, and gorgeous Gwen Stacy. I liked her character, but felt she didn't have much to do in the long run.
James Franco does an equally-remarkable turn, finally completing the journey that began at the end of the original film. He gives Harry a blend of jealousy, mystique, and severe determination. He also revisits the lighter tones of his role, for the scenes where Harry has amnesia. And in the finale, he shows that in his heart, Harry was truly a hero. Thomas Haden Church gave Marko both sentiment and menace, and turned what was originally a two-bit thug into a far more interesting character. Topher Grace played the "creepy" card as Venom, and gave Eddie Brock a know-it-all arrogance that makes you almost feel disgusted.
The effects in this film took another leap, but not towards our web-suited hero. Instead, animators studied all sorts of dirt, sand, and dust to make the Sandman truly convincing. Doing so meant pushing every effects boundary that existed at that point, so far as making Sony Pictures Imageworks add more computers to their setup. The team also studied serpents and worms to get a feel for the crawling done by the symbiote, and layered large amounts of black slime on Topher Grace's costume to have it appear living.
The music this time was two-fold. Danny Elfman originally refused to return, citing uncomfortable relations with Sam Raimi during the second film's production. So, Raimi brought in scorist Christopher Young, who used some of Elfman's memorable themes while creating a few of his own. Eventually, Elfman returned to assist Young, who recieved main score credit for the film.
Aside from the criticisms surrounding Venom, I honestly didn't have a lot for this entry. Mary Jane is no longer in a water-drenched position (thank God!), so I was very relieved. I guess my main concern was one of a spiritual nature, when Eddie visits the church, asking God to kill Peter. That struck me on an emotional note, since I know that God would never do such a thing. Otherwise, I guess my only real complaint would be Gwen Stacy's cleavage. There's a few moments in the "crane rescue" sequence where you can practically see down her shirt. It's not as blatant as Mary Jane's situations in the first two films, but I still felt it was inappropriate.
All in all, this film gets a 7 out of 10, for the spiritual issue, cleavage shots, and confusing story.
The Crow (1994)
A Good Film, Born From Great Tragedies...
The tale of "The Crow" begins almost fifty years ago, with the birth of the man who'd later become its creator...self-taught writer and artist James O'Barr.
Born in a trailer to an unwed, alcoholic mother, the baby boy wasn't taken to a hospital until almost a week after his birth. James later recalled, "She was so drunk and out of it, she couldn't remember the exact day I was born." Told by his mother it was between Christmas and New Year's Day, the local authorities gave him the birthday of January 1st, 1961.
Growing up in an orphanage, James wasn't adopted until he was seven years old. He was often "loaned out" to various families for the weekend, as was a common practice in those days. Upon his adoption by hard-working blue-collar Southerners, James rapidly became a self-imposed loner, who preferred to spend his free time absorbed in horror films or his burgeoning artwork. But his parents differed, seeing art as the equivalent of playing cards: a hobby, nothing more. James would later say, "It got so bad that I was forbidden to draw in the house." Working different jobs at auto-body shops or nursing homes, he stayed within himself, becoming what he would later describe as a "brooding and sarcastic" person.
However, that began to change when, at age 16, he met a young woman named Bethany. Described by James as a "bright light" who "never said a word against anyone", their connection was apparently the embodiment of the phrase "opposites attract". When James would verbally assault someone, Bethany would point out their good or positive attributes. It was a balanced relationship that James clearly loved and cherished. They were together for three years, and planned to marry after graduation.
But then, tragedy struck. While crossing the street one night, Bethany was killed by a drunk driver. James was not present at the time; he was later told by her father. The emotional stability that James had once craved was now gone in his life, and shortly afterward, he enlisted in the Marines, where he hoped the regimented lifestyle overseas would help him vent his anger. Instead, it only made him feel worse. Drawing combat manuals by day, James would immerse himself in nightly barfights, hoping that one of them would end his life as well. Upon his return to the States, James had one intention: to kill the driver who'd taken Bethany from him. But when he discovered the driver had died from natural causes, his anger and rage threatened to destroy him. Desperate for some kind of cathartic release, he channeled his pain and hatred into his artwork as a form of personal therapy. Explaining years later, he said, "It was a lot cheaper than seeing a therapist or something."
Honing his artistry, James opted against using comic books as his inspiration, citing common illustration methods as "an exaggeration of an exaggeration...twice removed from life." Instead, he studied ancient paintings and marble statues of the human form. However, James was uncomfortable sketching scenes of himself, so to better express his inner darkness, he created an avatar named Eric. The role was visually reminiscent of James' enjoyment of hard rock music, with bands like Joy Division, The Cure, and Iggy Pop all serving as cultural models for the character's appearance and mannerisms. In the pages of his "therapy", Eric often spoke in lyrical statements and poetic flair. But his temperment was not so subtle: he was a deadly avenger of untold violence, with little compassion to speak of, if any at all.
The story which eventually became "The Crow" was first put to paper in 1981. However, due to the immense pain and anger James felt, he could only complete so much of it at a time. The book was finally finished in 1989, eight years later. In it, the story is that of Eric and his love, Shelley, who are murdered by ruthless gang members when their car breaks down on a desolate road. Eric is mortally wounded, powerless to intervene as Shelley is raped and killed by the sadistic criminals. But Eric's soul does not rest, and one year later he is resurrected as an immortal being with one agenda: those who destroyed he and Shelley's lives will die. No trials, no appeals, none of what mass society would consider proper justice...only death. James would later intone, "There is pure anger on each page."
Sadly, the completion of "The Crow" didn't really grant James the peace he had hoped for; instead, it made him more angry and depressed, in various ways. But another shift took place when he was working as a T-shirt artist in a comic shop. The owner liked his work very much, and aksed if he had any comics at home. On a whim, James presented "The Crow", and the owner asked for permission to publish it under his emerging company, Caliber Comics; James agreed. Within two years, offers were being made from various studios, who were interested in filming the project. But things got progressively worse as the higher-ups of American cinema desperately sought to rework the concept. Having sold the film rights, James had very little say in the matter; at one point, producers even suggested the film as a musical, with Michael Jackson as Eric and Julian Temple directing. It looked as if the film would bear little resemblance (if any) to O'Barr's work...until director Alex Proyas stepped in. Soon, another talent was brought into the mix, who was a self-described fan of the book, and wanted to preserve it as closely as possible. This was actor Brandon Lee, son of famed martial artist Bruce. At Lee's and Proyas' insistence, the film was reined in, and returned to an approach more in line with James' original story. James and Brandon would foster a close friendship over the course of the production...but tragedy would soon strike again.
As Proyas' film of "The Crow" neared its final days of principal photography, a terrible disaster shook everyone involved. During the filming of a flashback scene to Eric and Shelley's murders, Brandon Lee was to enter the apartment with a bag of groceries. Conatined in the bag was a "squib", or a small bag of fake blood rigged with a tiny, remote-controlled explosive. Actor Michael Massee (who played the villain "Funboy") was to fire in Brandon's general direction, and the squib would be detonated to simulate Eric being shot. But instead, Lee crumpled to the floor, and when he didn't get up, the crew realized the unthinkable had happened: Brandon had been shot for real. Twelve hours later, he died in the hospital from internal bleeding. Even more painful was the timing of his death: he was set to wed his long-time girlfriend, Eliza Hutton, just two weeks after filming wrapped.
Police officials later ruled Brandon's death an accident, explaining that a "dummy bullet" (powderless shell casing) had become lodged in the barrel of the gun which Massee had held. When powder was inserted for a close-up scene so the weapon would flash, both ingredients combined in a deadly manner. For everyone involved, Lee's death was heartbreaking beyond words...and of them all, the four who likely took it the hardest were Lee's mother Linda, his sister Shannon, fiancee Eliza Hutton, and James O'Barr. To James, it was like Bethany being killed all over again, and infinitely worse. To add further insult, Miramax Films failed to pay full royalties to O'Barr; what little cash he made from the project, he donated to charity, considering it "blood money". Offered the chance to scrap the film if he so chose, director Alex Proyas consulted Linda Lee, who asked it be finished in Brandon's memory. Released in 1994, the movie became a box-office smash, due to both the visceral, emotional story, and the media-fueled notoriety brought about by the death of its star.
But for James, he felt worse than ever. After fighting Miramax for the money he was rightfully owed (which still has not been delivered in full), James began making his living as a "starving artist", touring the convention circuit, selling custom sketches and small memorabilia based on the book. He later married, and now has two young children. While his character has been reinvented multiple times in sequels and spinoffs, O'Barr has seen none of the rewards (save for a small amount from Miramax, and a minor contract job for the third film's soundtrack). Today, he says, "I'm actually happier than I've been since I was 16 years old", in reference to his wife and family. At nearly 50 years of age, he continues to make the rounds at conventions, now residing near Granbury, Texas.
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Obsession and Love Are Very Different...
Released in 2004, Joel Schumacher's adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's legendary stage production was a long time coming. The play first began in 1986, with singers Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman as the Phantom and Christine, respectively. Webber later married Brightman, and had planned on her reprising Christine Daae for the silver screen. But their eventual divorce put an indefinite hold on the project; it would remain unfulfilled for over a decade. Webber had chosen director Schumacher ("Batman Forever", "Phone Booth") for "Phantom of the Opera" back in the early 1990s, due to his talented use of color and music. Eventually, a deal was struck with Warner Bros. Studios, and the two filmmakers agreed on two things: the cast's overall ages would be reduced in this version (the stage actors were mostly in their late 30's to mid-40's), and all of them would do their own singing. This caused a slight problem with the addition of Minnie Driver, Webber's only choice for the role of Carlotta. Webber dubbed her in-picture singing with a professional soprano, and gave Driver her own song for the film's ending credits. In the main principal roles were actors Gerard Butler as the Phantom, Emmy Rossum as Christine, Patrick Wilson as Raoul, and Miranda Richardson as Madame Giry.
Thus is the basic story for the making of the film; upon its release, it was a commercial success in many respects, as fans of the stage musical were excited to see their beloved characters in a new form. The songs, costume designs, sets, and historical representations were all praised...and in my opinion, the film definitely deserves it. However, those unfamiliar with the tale should be cautious. Based on a novel by French author Gaston Leroux, both the musical and the film tell a story deeply mired in themes of romance, love, faith, (in)justice, and death. As such, it's especially important for discerning hearts to be wary of a few elements.
Visually, the film's biggest areas of concern are sex and violence. Unlike many films which revel in them, this film thankfully avoids that trap...and while the presence of such elements are important to the story, what's more imprtant is for viewers to know ahead of time what they'll be getting themselves into. Regarding sexual situations, the most obvious one is likely the many nude statues and carvings which adorn the walls and lobby of the opera house. While the camera doesn't excessively linger on them (mostly presenting them as historical art pieces), their inclusion helps to sell the mood of the time in which this tragedy takes place. Costumes worn by many female characters are designed to enhance their curves, particularly above the waist. As for the violent content, the most extreme moments concern the murders of Joseph Buquet and the Phantom's childhood abuser (the latter is shown in flashback). As for Piangi's death, it is mainly done in a quick cut away, and his lifeless form appears shortly thereafter, embraced by a weeping Carlotta.
Non-visually, the other theme which fuels this story is the spiritual nature of music. Christine often likens the Phantom to her deceased father's promise of sending her an "Angel of Music", which could be interpreted as an allusion to Satan. Among the dark character's many lines of song are phrases such as "let your darker side give in"; he also refers to himself as a "gargoyle who burns in hell, but secretly yearns for heaven", a "repulsive carcass", and a "beast" or "monster". In the Don Juan performance scene, lyrics such as "when will the flames at last consume us" are present. Overall, an underlying message of this film is one of emotional and spiritual suggestion through the power of music. Used properly, music is a wondrous thing...but used irresponsibly, it can be a greater danger to people than a knife or firearm. Both sides of the collective canvas are presented, so people should know that going in. As a whole, this film gets a 8.5/10 in my book.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Satanic Torture Porn, and Little Else...
This movie is both easy to describe, and yet difficult as well. I say this because while I like many of the design elements, the music, and some of the performances...the story and most scenes are outright horrible. They're far too explicit compared to the novel, and many scenes in this film have no place in Stoker's work at all. As I understand it, Francis Ford Coppola placed the author's name in the title to avoid either confusion or a lawsuit with Universal Pictures, owners of the classic 1931 film starring Bela Lugosi. Nonetheless, this film represents Coppola's desire for a Dracula story much more than Stoker's...so the director should have used his own name instead.
How to criticize this film beyond the title - oh, let me Count the ways (pun fully intended). First, Dracula's existence as a vampire is shown to be the result of him renouncing God after his wife commits suicide, and driving his sword into a large Christian cross...which gushes blood that Dracula then drinks. He even tells the priests in that scene, "I shall rise from my own death, to avenge hers with all the powers of darkness." That's some seriously messed up spirituality to begin with, and it appears nowhere in Stoker's book.
Second is the depiction of Mina Murray, as a reincarnation of Dracula's wife centuries later. Coppola's version of Dracula is motivated completely by this, in spite of the fact Stoker never wrote it either. More changes include Dracula's beast form attacking and having sex with Lucy, and Dracula giving his brides an innocent baby...presumably to eat or defile sexually. The writers were sicker with these inventions than Stoker ever was, and Coppola's a fool for supporting it.
Another element in the film is very common to adaptations of the story, yet it appears nowhere in the novel. That element is the idea of Dracula being an undead or cursed Vlad Tepes, a 15th-century prince of Wallachia. This is a very popular myth which has persisted thanks to Hollywood, but again Stoker never equated Dracula with Vlad.
Aside from the excessive sexual, Satanic, and gory elements in the movie, there's actually a very talented cast in it. Gary Oldman has done phenomenal work through his career, as has Anthony Hopkins. Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves were fairly well-known in 1992, but had not yet reached superstar status. Billy Campbell's main role prior to this film was "The Rocketeer" for Disney, a perennial favorite of mine. Cary Elwes had done "The Princess Bride", which remains his most popular role 30 years later. But all these fine actors were wasted on a tale that, in spite of bearing Stoker's name, has only the slightest commonalities with the book.
If you're going to adapt someone's work, and use their name in the title...keep your film as close to the source as possible. This movie is a violation of Stoker's book in so many forms, the title being the least one. There's so much here that is absolutely horrendous; I'm surprised Stoker's estate didn't sue Coppola and American Zoetrope.
In & Out (1997)
Pure Propaganda, Nothing More
I saw this film many times in my youth, and at one point actually liked it...until I realized how truly saturated it is with disreputable ideas and tactics.
The story revolves around Howard Brackett, a happily-engaged schoolteacher living in the small town of Greenleaf, Indiana. His parents support him, his friends like him, and so do some of his students.
But that all changes when former student Cameron Drake, who's since become a famous movie star, dedicates his win at an Oscar ceremony to Howard...labeling him gay in the process. This turns Howard's world upside down, as the local gossips assume Drake's claim must be true. Howard doesn't know what to do, and his attempts to handle the situation fail miserably. This is probably one of the most prominent areas of the film, where the propaganda's on full display...prior to the climax (more on that later).
Howard's whole method of presenting himself is mocked by various people; some criticize his choice of clothing, while others condemn his affection for the films of Barbra Streisand. Another method of "research" involves him trying to resist dancing to the song "I Will Survive", an audio recording previously insisting "truly manly men do not dance, for any reason." When Howard gives in, the recording asks, "How did you do...pussy boy?" An openly-gay reporter (played by Tom Selleck, of all people) kisses Howard at a street intersection, supposedly attempting to force some kind of "truth" on the teacher. Howard's so freaked out by this, his only objection is it happened at the intersection. Desperate for answers and less chaos, he goes to a priest...who recommends he have sex with his fiancée before the wedding. No, I'm not making it up - that's in the film. He attempts to do so, only to be reassured by his bride-to-be...then breaks her heart at the ceremony by submitting to the pressure and declaring himself gay.
It all culminates when Howard is nominated for Teacher of the Year at his school, but the administration bars him due to fear of a potential scandal. Suddenly, Cameron Drake arrives in the auditorium, asking the staff members if all the chaos is about "the gay thing". Their manner of refusal is clearly depicted with intentional mockery, of anyone who would oppose homosexuality for any reason. To drive the film's whole point home (namely, that "gay is okay" and all who disagree are stupid and/or hateful), Howard's present-day students all declare themselves gay; one even says "If there's something wrong with Mr. Brackett, there's something wrong with me." Howard's own parents soon join in this mocking form of "support", along with the town's fire brigade. The final scene has Howard dancing to the Village People song "Macho Man", while his former fiancée cozes up to Drake.
The only reason I gave this film more than one star, is because there's some very brief moments which actually made me laugh. The biggest one is probably a scene between Howard's fiancée and the reporter who kissed him. Its the night of the crashed wedding, and in desperation she propositions him. Informing her he's gay sends her crashing out the door of the bar they're in, to which she screams into the night, "IS EVERYBODY GAY?!" That question could very well have been the film's title; it certainly fits the overall premise.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
Possibly The Worst Sequel Ever Made...
After the amazing success of the first "Mortal Kombat" film in 1995, a sequel was virtually guaranteed. The original made a whopping $122 million on an $18 million budget, with a talented cast of actors and martial artists, plus some expert VFX work.
Sadly, this film truly dropped the ball from square one. To start off, only three actors from the first film returned: Robin Shou, Keith Cooke, and Talisa Soto. Christopher Lambert, Linden Ashby, Bridgette Wilson, and director Paul Anderson were all asked to come back, but refused. That should've been the end of it, but no...those idiots in Hollywood will truly do anything to make a buck. "Annihilation" quickly went from anticipated to despised, making just $51 million on a $30 million budget.
So, what was the main problem? In all honesty, there wasn't just one. Anderson, Lambert, Wilson, and Ashby's departures were just the beginning, like a snowball getting bigger as it rolls downhill. The movie had far too many characters, most of which weren't needed, and some even went unnamed in dialogue. The whole project had zero seriousness about it, unlike the dark mystery of the original effort.
The story (if anyone could call it that) is as follows: Outworld emperor Shao Kahn invades the Earth, resurrecting Kitana's dead mother Sindel to use as a pawn in merging Earth with Outworld. The few who survive have a grand total of six days before the merger completes, killing everyone on the planet...hence the film's title.
The massively-overcrowded cast of characters includes the following: Liu Kang, Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Kitana, Mileena, Rayden, Shao Kahn, Sindel, Jade, Baraka, Cyrax, Smoke, Jax, Motaro, Sheeva, Rain, Ermac, Noob Saibot, Nightwolf, Shinnok, Scorpion, and a second version of Sub-Zero. The characters of Kabal and Stryker are mentioned, but remain unseen. Of all those, the only ones with major screen time are Liu, Sonya, Jax, Kahn, Shinnok, and Rayden. Johnny Cage is killed by Kahn a few minutes into the film, briefly played by Chris Conrad. Sandra Hess replaces Bridgette Wilson as Sonya, while James Remar fills in as Rayden. Jax is portrayed by former American Gladiators star Lynn "Red" Williams.
There's so many inconsistencies with this movie, too. Its like the writers just crammed everything they could think of into the same film, not giving a damn whether it made any sense. Kahn and Rayden are portrayed as estranged brothers, with Shinnok as their father (no, I'm not kidding). Sonya's famous "kiss of death" is reduced to her blowing flammable powder onto an already-engulfed Cyrax, while all the ninja costumes look like cheap cosplay attempts. Motaro and Sheeva look worse than B-movie rejects, and bicker like this film's version of "The Odd Couple". The "animalities" from the third video game make an appearance, but the result is cheesy beyond belief with Liu Kang and Shao Kahn turning into warring "Godzilla" ripoffs. Sonya gets cornered at one point by Ermac, only to have Noob Saibot literally ooze like oil from his chest to reform behind Sonya for a two-against one fight.
The only saving grace with this entry are the performances of Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, Sandra Hess, and Lynn Williams, who all do their best while the movie falls apart around them. If you value your sanity, stick with the original film; this one's only worth a $1 rental if you're extremely bored.
Knight Rider 2000 (1991)
An Excellent Continuation of a Classic TV Series
"Knight Rider 2000" is a very well-made film, originally produced as the pilot for a new show with Susan Norman and Carmen Argenziano as the main leads. David Hasselhoff, Edward Mulhare, and William Daniels all reprised their roles, and its a real shame the new series never took off; I'd have watched it for sure.
The story is fairly simple, but effective. 14 years after the end of the series, Devon Miles (Mulhare) still runs the Knight Foundation, partnered with former district attorney Russell Maddock (Argenziano). Conventional firearms have been banned across the board, even from the police. Evildoers are no longer held in jail cells, but cryogenically frozen for their crimes. When a Seattle mayor is shot with a semi-automatic handgun, Devon seeks out retired ally Michael Knight (Hasselhoff) to aid the investigation, pairing him with a rebuilt KITT (Daniels), and police officer Shawn McCormick (Norman). The villain of the piece is Thomas J. Watts (Mitch Pileggi), a former cop turned gunrunner, with a notable connection to McCormick.
This film originally aired in 1991, and has become a cult favorite for fans of the series. Its easily light-years ahead of any other attempt to revive the property, including 1997's "Team Knight Rider" and the 2008 reboot starring Justin Bruening and Deanna Russo. The original show is still the best of them all, but this movie's a worthy successor, included on both the standalone Season 1 DVD set and the Complete Series package.