sarthak889 Reviews

Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein (2001)

Lacking depth

[6/10 · 14 September 2024]

This is a film that lacks depth. The characters of Madhavan and Dia Mirza never get out of the honeymoon period of meeting a new person and are supposedly in 'love'.

We never get a glimpse of the inner passions and dreams, or the personality of any of the characters barring Rajeev, who is the only reasonably good person in this film. In some of the scenes, it felt like Madhavan was trying to copy SRK from DDLJ with the same manner of speaking and awkward sincerity, however he fell short. And how come there is no police in this film's world, the characters can just go anywhere and threaten anyone.

There are some good comedic moments courtesy of Vrajesh Hirjee, who did an amazing job in his role. The second time Maddy's theme plays when he goes to beat up Rajeev is a cool moment. The shot with rain and the silhouette of Dia Mirza when Madhavan sees her for the first time is poetic. Apart from this, the director seemed to have discovered some new editing tricks and put them on show (example: moving on to a new scene using a breaking glass effect).

In conclusion, a film loved by people who watched it in childhood with little understanding of relationships and go back to it for nostalgia. It hasn't aged well and would bomb were it released today.

Aruvi (2016)

Incredible first half backed by strong performances

[7/10 · 3 September 2024]

The entire backstory of Aruvi is incredibly realistic and could serve as a superhero or supervillain's backstory. She is driven out by her family when diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and gets taken advantage of wherever she goes. Soon, she shakes her morality and starts indulging in smoking and drinking, the very habits she despised.

The first half ends with Aruvi's commentary on the consumerism of modern society and how a person's respect is tied to his net worth. People respect money, you are treated differently based on what clothes you wear, what car you drive and what house you live in.

This film could have been a meditation on how modern society creates criminals: Aruvi's beliefs are shattered and she wants to show the real world through terrorist acts.

However, the filmmakers seem to be caught in two minds: we see nothing more of Aruvi's beliefs about modern society and the film becomes about people who suffer from HIV/AIDS. Perhaps close to death, Aruvi had forgiven her rapists, but it was sickening to see those men walk about happily and spend time with her in the ending scene.

The film could have been so much more with the heights it reached in the first half with one of the best buildups I have seen.

Major props for a realistic portrayal of a transgender person. Aditi Balan is spectacular.

Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam (1962)

The idleness of the rich

[8/10 · 17 August 2024]

The film attacks patriarchy and the decadent zamindari system in late 19th century India, specifically Bengal.

The zamindars spend their days in frivolous activities while being attended by numerous servants. This is portrayed by the needless competition that exists between the middle brother of the *haveli* and the neighbour: they compete by marrying cats or flying pigeons, the winner is the one who burns the most money. The brother is attended to by cronies who justify and encourage his behaviour.

The late eldest brother's wife spends her days lost in mindless rituals and fantasies; not unlike the aforementioned middle brother.

The middle brother's wife has made peace with the fact that in this *haveli* women will be treated as property of their rich husbands, available to serve them at their beck and call; however, the youngest wife demands something more, and it is her downfall that forms the main plot of the film.

The youngest brother wastes his days with courtesans and wine. To spend time with him, his wife takes up drinking together and even sings for him, everything that he seeks outside is now at home, or so she thinks. We see her get addicted and her speech becomes less refined towards Bhoothnath. There is an echo of Devadas in her as we dive into her 'madness'. Her life finally ends when the middle brother has her killed after suspecting an alleged affair that would bring shame to their family.

In a separate plotline, the film showcases the relationship of Jaba and Bhoothnath: there are charming scenes of coquetry with the incredible Waheeda Rehman at her best. Dialogue about casteism and religion is lightly touched.

In summary, this film packs a lot of ideas for its short length. Meena Kumari and Waheeda Rehman steal the show with their performances.

Thirst (1957)

What does it mean to be an artist?

[9/10 · 15 August 2024]

I had to pause the film a few times to fully grasp the beauty and realism of poetry disguised as songs. The film expands upon Italian Neorealism with a golden touch: marvelous use of light and shadow and the camera shots with slow zooming in and slow zooming out are hypnotic.

The film, like other films which deal with the life of an artist (examples that come to my mind: Andrei Rublev and The Agony and the ecstasy). What does it mean to be an artist? This question is contrasted with a critique of society; educated people are shown as materialistic and inhuman whereas people who are usually shunned by society (Gulab, the prostitute) are portrayed as having depth, heart and compassion.

Vijay coming back from the dead and society refusing to recognize him echoed of Dostoevksy's Grand Inquisitor: If Christ came back from the dead, people would crucify him again as his death is more valuable than his life. The denial of Vijay by his brothers reminded me of the Denial of St. Peter.

I've seen brilliant poets come to terms with the reality of life and start feeding their mouths instead of their souls; poetry as a vocation requires constant deep thought, remaining true to one's soul and endless human compassion (by extension, all art needs this). Vijay foregoing material wealth and choosing to go away from what hurts him at heart is a decision very few take. In that sense, it is somewhat unlikely, but I liked the sense of that ending.

In summary, I never realized that Indian cinema was capable of such art: deft use of lighting, superb shots, societal critique, and timeless lyrics.

Maharaja (2024)

Unnecessary plot twists and no depth

[6/10 · 3 August 2024]

I don't understand Anurag Kashyap's character in this film. He has no qualms about rape, paedophilia and burning people alive; but somehow cries like a madman when he finds out his daughter is the one he ended up hurting.

Like every criminal, probably he justifies his action by achieving a greater goal of securing a better future for his family; but he doesn't stop at just robbing people, he takes sadistic pleasure in torture, killing, and having his partners rape their victims which is beyond what is required for what he thinks as 'good'. I'm not an expert at human emotions, but I think it is totally unrealistic. I've read about how the Nazis used to commit horrible atrocities in concentration camps and still came home and lived their lives as loving family men; maybe this is what the filmmakers thought.

Vijay Sethupathi did a flawless job as a father seeking justice for his daughter. I liked the idea that he didn't want to reveal what actually happened, so he went to the police looking for 'Lakshmi'. This works great metaphorically based on what the Goddess Lakshmi represents.

I came into this movie after watching the ratings and reviews and thought this movie would be unique, but Indian films are starting to fall into the cliche of pouring in complicated plot twists thinking it would blow people's minds. It's just lazy writing at this point. Plot twists work better when there are hints throughout the film about what is coming instead of just going ahead and doing what this film does, just saying, "what you were thinking is wrong, this is actually what happened". Another pattern that I see with Indian films is showing unnecessary violence and gore without any purpose.

In conclusion, this is a commercial film made for the masses. The reviews are probably inflated and would normalize with time. If you want depth, watch something else.

Ju Dou (1990)

Life in the grey area

[7/10 · 28 July 2024]

The film takes us into a remote village in China where the rich and impotent owner of a dyeing business longs for a son and the value of any woman who is with him is contingent on that. Through conversation we find out that he has beaten his two previous wives to death due to their (or his) failure of getting pregnant. This would be the fate of Ju, but for the owner's adoptive nephew.

The nephew, Tianqing, is gentler and is oppressed by his uncle into servitude. Jinshan, the uncle, fires all of the workers to save money and makes his nephew do all the work for him. We see the seeds of desire sprout in Tianqing as he watches Ju undress through a peephole. Subsequent watches seeing her beaten body and injuries at the hands of his uncle makes him decide to step in.

Ju and Tianqing's son grows up amid rumors that his 'brother' is his father and this takes a toll on him mentally. The only time that Tianbei speaks is when he is with his 'father', Jinshan, and he just laughs when he accidentally drowns him.

The film provides a realistic portrayal of humans: that everyone is both good and bad, there is no black and white categorization of people, it is all grey. Jinshan has been cruel to those closest to him all his life, but he becomes a proud and happy 'father' when Jianbei talks only with him. Tianqing and Ju have suffered at the hands of Jinshan, yet end up being insensitive parents to Tianbei.

Kill (I) (2023)

Lights and action!

[7/10 · 27 July 2024]

The film makers wasted little time with the background of the actors before setting up the action sequences. The lighting of the film shifts from light to dark as the film progresses and the stakes becomes higher for both the heroes and the villains.

The various ways in which the protagonist kills reminded me of videogames: how once an enemy's health is low, you can use a special button to give a finisher. The lighting in the latter half reminded me of the scene from the Last of Us 2 when Ellie, lit up under red emergency lights and engulfed in spores tortures another person.

The scene where the gang of bandits walk through an empty coach covered with the corpses of their family hanging from the ceiling was haunting. We glimpse the humanity of both sides as even the villains grieve the loss of their family members and are driven by revenge. Also, it was refreshing to see an Indian movie kill of the heroine(?) at the midway point.

In all, a great action movie, but all of the characters except the villain Fani lack depth. This want of character depth is justified by the action on display and the cinematography and the lighting.

To Live (1994)

A glimpse into Chinese history

[9/10 · 17 July 2024]

How to tell what a people have gone through? In the beginning of the film, we see what matters to these characters: a simple, quiet life. But how to go on about it when the world around you is changing, and your country is going through the one of the toughest times in its entire history.

The director did a good job to show Chinese history through the microcosm of a single family's journey through mid 20th-century China. We see how the walls of Fugui and Jiazhen's home change: during the cultural revolution they are filled with Mao's portraits; after Mao's death and the subsequent reforms, we see the Mao's portrait on the outer wall of the home fade, and other posters have taken up the interior walls.

The characters of Fugui and Jiazhen accept life after the death of their two children and find the will to move on: Jiazhen forgives Chunsheng and forbids him to kill himself as he owes her a life. Fugui tells his grandson that life will get better instead of the response he gave to his son: that communism will come and everyone will live happily. He probably has lost faith in communism and just wants 'to live' instead. Despite everything, life is beautiful.

I have always felt that I learn more about real history through these 'fictional' stories, and it is absolutely true here.

In the Heat of the Sun (1994)

An exploration of adolescent love

[8/10 · 14 July 2024]

Right until the climax of the film, we see Monkey spend time with Mi Lan, and it feels like love: just spending time with the person you admire, learning about their lives, their likes, their hates, their passions and sorrows. Monkey's love would remain pure: an ineffable appreciation for another human.

We see Monkey's yearning for Mi Lan and how he gets jealous when they are in the company of other boys. And Monkey's desire reaches a boiling point when he attempts to rape Mi Lan near the film's end. Maybe it would have been better to avoid this scene and keep things pure.

Apart from the characters, I loved the glimpse into 1970s China. The scenes are panoramic and all the actors are brilliant.

Raise the Red Lantern (1991)

Patriarchy and misogyny; Mesmerizing use of color

[9/10 · 6 July 2024]

Torture in the name of customs. This film depicts women reduced to objects vying for the affection of their rich common husband. The ball is in the husband's court and his wives are not allowed to show any emotion, lest he spends the night with another wife.

We follow the story of Songlian, a university student, forced to marry due to her family's bankruptcy. As the seasons pass, we see the light in her eyes fade, as she is confronted with the reality of the world she now inhabits.

The servants are part of the master's game and the one with the master's attention has all of the servants' attention. The story of Songlian is also tied with the story of her maid, Yan'er, who is in love with the master and dreamt of being the fourth mistress in Songlian's place. She is helpless and manipulated by the second mistress, and this endless competition takes a toll on the innocent Songlian who breaks down near the end of the film.

Through the master's son, who is of similar age as her, she gets a glimpse of the love she gave up to be a concubine for the master; a cloth to wear and discard as he pleases.

The film explores how misogyny is ingrained in the name of customs. The death of the third mistress means nothing and another mistress is brought on to share the same fate, depicting the ruthless cycle.

Gong li was spectacular, the cinematography and the composition are mesmerizing; I especially enjoyed the use of red lanterns to depict who the master favours.

Farewell My Concubine (1993)

Expansive and powerful

[8/10 · 29 June 2024]

This film is like coming home after spending years abroad to realise how your home has changed. Did it even miss you when you were gone? Does it even care? Are you as special to it as it is to you?

For the protagonist Douzi, the opera is everything. From childhood itself, it is the only way for him to connect with the world around him. It is his home. And we see how his home changes, his reactions to it as China undergoes tectonic shifts as it moves forward in the 20th century. Perhaps he can't differentiate between the opera and life and that's why he falls in love with Xialou.

The second protagonist Xialou is the opposite. For him, the opera is just a job and he wants a normal life outside it: marriage and kids; a peaceful life. Tensions boil up when Jiuxian enters and Douzi's behaviour becomes more and more erratic. However, the three never stop supporting each other and rescue each other from dire situations multiple times.

This film hurts more because the events in this film are based on real events and show a glimpse of what horrors humans are capable of. The scenes with the struggle session of the three main characters, Douzi's mother cutting off his extra finger to secure his entry into opera school are haunting, Douzi's opium addiction, etc.

A background of Chinese history is needed to fully grasp the gravity of what is happening on-screen as the major historical events occur in background while the shift is on the operatic life of the protagonists.

There are vast scenes with hundreds of people that made me question how did they even film this? The cinematography is top-notch and you can tell the director's love for cinema through the frames that he is painting.

A timeless film for anyone interested in learning about Chinese culture and history.

Nocturnal Animals (2016)

Amazing performances backed by a unique story

[8/10 · 22 June 2024]

Susan's mom was right: in the end Susan became just like her mom; choosing someone practical over someone she loved. She chose a stable life of misery over an unknown life with someone she loved.

Edward kept thinking he was weak and, after all, expressed everything that Susan put her through in the form of his novel: how taking away his wife and his unborn child 'killed' him.

As far as the metaphors in this film goes, Ray and his gang are Susan's insecurities, probably to be blamed on her mother, that take Tony/Edward away from his wife and daughter because he is 'weak'.

I loved the recurring theme of red hair throughout the film's main story and the story within the story.

Special mention to perfect performances by Mike Shannon and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. It was hard to take eyes off them because of how brilliant both were. Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams are their usual good self, nothing special.

Fatal Attraction (1987)

Mental illness is frightening

[7/10 · 16 June 2024]

The character of Alex is one of the most realistic depictions of mental illness I've seen. We do not get a glimpse of her background to understand why she is what she is. But there are some subtle indicators: she is always alone, she lies about her dad not dying of a heart attack, etc. The film uses Madame Butterfly as a motif to foreshadow the death of Alex.

Alex keeps on pulling one stunt after another to have Dan remain attached to her. She doesn't want him to leave her even if he beats her. This along with Dan's need to go on with his family exacerbates Alex's behaviour until her actions become more and more extreme to catch Dan's attention. The film could have ended either through Alex's death or her going to prison. There was no way she could have kept interfering with Dan's life.

The film is also about a man's need to have a family life: something stable and secure, but also longing for something passionate and exciting. Dan is not able to balance the two and runs into the wrong person with terrible consequences.

All the praise for Glenn Close's performance. A bit more nuance and this could have been an arthouse film but didn't explore that direction and kept it mainstream and dumbed down.

High and Low (1963)

What is the right thing to do?

[8/10 · 16 June 2024]

This film is of two halves: the first half raises questions of morality and doing the right thing. The second half takes us through a journey of police work to figure out who the suspect is.

It's a pleasure to see Mr. Gondo handle questions of morality, and battle making the right decision regardless of the consequences. We see him crumbling and he calls it a night to think things over: whether to sacrifice someone else's child or to leave his family to poverty? He acts strong and remains true to himself even though the world he built for himself is crumbling.

The second part of the film is about police work. The kidnapper's plan was perfect in theory. The film does a perfect job of taking the viewer step-by-step in tracking the kidnapper and it does not shy away from showing the details and the efforts that police go through to find the suspect. I did not know that while tailing a suspect, policemen switch with each other to avoid raising any suspicion. I haven't seen police work depicted in such a way in any other film. The depictions of the Dope Lane were shocking and immaculately executed.

Perhaps the motivations of the kidnapper could have been more nuanced because he felt like an underdeveloped character. Yet, the depiction is realistic and I could imagine something like this happening in real life.

In summary, the film is probably about morality: doing the right thing and accepting the consequences that come with it. Kurosawa is a legend.

Hi Nanna (2023)

A film about life with all it has to offer

[9/10 · 1 June 2024]

The title of the film itself is split into the two main themes the film tackles: marriage (the 'hi' that Yakshna and Viraj say to each other) and parenthood. Other themes are successful marriages, failed marriages, how parents affect children, trauma, and moving on despite everything. Wanting only happiness without the accompanying sadness takes away all the beauty life has to offer. God has made the most beautiful tapestry and mixed all the ingredients to create a masterpiece. Accept life, no matter what.

"Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror..."

What is falling in love? The film shows perhaps a realistic love story where you confess your feelings and be firm in dealing with both acceptance and rejection.

Why do marriages fail? And what does it mean for children? The film shows how the body remembers even as an adult.

How to deal with trauma? I was positively moved by the scene where Viraj holds onto Yakshna as they both break into tears on the hospital floor watching their daughter across the glass.

A heartfelt movie that reminded me again what is important in life: the people you love, memories that you make, and moving on.

"Despite everything, life is beautiful".

This is the romantic in me speaking, but I enjoyed Mrunal Thakur's performance the most. Her presence is magnetic and her facial expressions paired with those eyebrows are charming to the core and darn gorgeous.

Special mention to the portrayal of Yakshna's fiance who was portrayed as a good guy, away from the norm of most Indian films.

The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Longing to be understood

[8/10 · 1 June 2024]

The narrative device used in this movie is guys recalling their memories of the Lisbon girls in their teenage years. So, all we see on the screen is shown from their perspective.

We rarely get to know the Lisbon girls on a personal level. Like to the boys, they are an enigma to the viewers. At the start of the movie itself, we know something is wrong since Cecilia's suicide attempt but the whys are never answered. And maybe that's what this film is about.

Knowing someone superficially and making them an object of our fantasies without considering the fact that they too are a person and long to be understood. The film portrays this through the eyes of teenage boys to whom the Lisbon sisters are not persons, but objects of their desire. They go mum when presented with an opportunity to have a conversation and go on living in their fantasy land. This is exemplified by Trip, who loses his desire after having sex with Lux and abandons her.

Mrs. Lisbon adds on to their misery by forcing them to be pure by being overprotective. She wants them to follow some Christian ideal for a young woman.

This movie is perhaps an essay of how society wants woman to be pure and virtuous; but at the same time an object of desire and something to be conquered. This leads to women losing their individuality and personhood and being reduced to mere objects.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008)

Average movie carried to heights by SRK

[8/10 · 23 May 2024]

Shahrukh rules the screen both as the quiet and kind Suri and the boisterous Raj. His impeccable charm brings countless smiles to my face. Anushka is okay in acting but amazing in all the dance sequences.

The music sequences are top-notch: 1. That delicate beginning rush when you see big meaning in small acts of the person you love in the song 'Haule haule'.

2. Shahrukh dancing like an amateur and Anushka dancing like a pro in 'Dance pe chance'

3. The representation of the three major religions of India in 'Tujh me rab dikhta hai'. Possibly, symbolising how love transcends the boundary of religion.

A delight to watch for anyone who loves musical sequences and charming love stories.

Demons (1971)

Excellent visuals, but lacking any significance

[6/10 · 12 May 2024]

The whole mise en scene when Gengobe is being duped by the actors in on the ploy was a visual treat. Also loved the horizontal panning shots depicting person X sitting across person Y and the camera moving horizontally depending on who the speaker is.

The actors did their part, the directors did their part. But the script itself lacked any artistic merit or the call for philosophical discourse. There is no deeper meaning in any of the characters' actions. Sanguro needs money to get back in his father's good graces, Gengobe needs money to join the 47 ronin. Sanguro tricks Gengobe using Koman and Gengobe kills everyone. That is the entire plot of this film.

A special mention to Hachiemon, Gengobe's servant who tried everything to save his master.

Frankie and Johnny (1991)

incredibly human

[8/10 · 27 April 2024]

This movie is about giving yourself another chance and moving on from your past no matter how scary it is to venture into the unknown. There is also subtext about physical abuse and loneliness.

Frankie has given up on love after past abusive relationships and avoids getting hurt. Johnny has had everything taken away from him and understands that the connections he makes with other people make life worth living. Two contrasting personalities, one of quiet and uncertainty, the other vocal and certain about what he wants portrayed beautifully by two of the greatest actors of all time.

Frankie stares out her window to see various relationships of her neighbours: what she wants, what she is scared of. She finally learns that she can let go of her past when she sees that her neighbour has left her abusive partner.

I'm a sucker for piano pieces and the whole ending sequence with Clair de Lune was enchanting. Michelle Pfeiffer carries the screen with her empty stares through her blue eyes and the sudden, heart-piercing smiles.

Super Deluxe (2019)

Brilliant cinematography; over the place storyline

[7/10 · 21 April 2024]

I loved the use of colour and the camera movements with some brilliant long takes.

The various interconnected stories seemed all over the place. The use of a child's innocence to question societal norms and how society isolates people who are different was superb.

The director possibly tried to explore the same idea through the teenager who saw his mother in an adult film. The same mother acted as a goddess in another film; so for some people she is a goddess and for others, she is a (degrading-term-for-non-chaste-woman). Reminds me of the dialogue from Tarkovsky's film: "what's praised today will be abused tomorrow; they'll forget you, me, everything"

There's also an argument of how we try to find meaning in everyday events through the existence of God, as depicted by Soori's father. At the latter part of the film he realizes that the same co-incidence happened to another person and he isn't the God's chosen one.

Overall, the film needed more structure and poise to really showcase the power of the ideas it tried to depict.

Strangers on a Train (1951)

Good premise, but the execution is held back.

[7/10 · 20 April 2024]

The film starts off exceedingly well by setting up the meeting of Guy and Bruno. It's not exactly clear from the get-go that Bruno is not of sound mind until we see his family scenes.

There should have been more exploration about why Bruno became as he was; a dive into his family history and upbringing.

The film also goes through the usual cliche of a happy ending at the end where the bad guy loses and the good guy wins.

But, I can see glimpses of Hitchcock's fascination with psychopaths which he further realized in Psycho. Maybe Hitchcock held back because of how it would be perceived by the critics and audiences.

Aattam (2023)

Figuring out who did it

[7/10 · 13 April 2024]

Very similar to 12 angry men. Every person in the group tries to influence everyone else to his opinion, even by altering facts and hiding information. This results in the discussion becoming more and more convoluted and people lose track of what the problem they're trying to solve.

In the end, the person who suffers is the victim herself. She can no longer trust anyone in the group and to her, they are all the culprits. I really liked how, at the end, even when given a choice to know who groped her, the protagonist did not want to know since the damage was already done and she can no longer see the group the same way and go back to how things were.

There are the usual discussions and old ways of thinking common in our country: the girl should not have been drinking, not dressing provocatively, blah blah and a counter to these arguments from other people in the group.

Main takeaway is perhaps not using lies, telling people to tell things in certain ways to influence the discussion and convolute it more and more. Also, how being a victim in such situations is an irreversible process and you always carry that experience with you.

Premalu (2024)

Hilarious rom-com with superb cinematography

[8/10 · 5 April 2024]

Do we ever fall in love with the person that we want? This film is unrealistic and I don't see someone like Neeru falling for Sachin. But that's not what makes this film magical. Reality aside, this film, like most of Malayalam films accepts the carnal aspects of human nature and finds humour in it. It is a full of life retelling of the most common love story. Excellent supporting characters like Amal Davis and Aadhi add an extra dimension to the humour in the film.

Some absolutely beautiful shots are there: loved the shots Hyderabad and the lush-green vistas of Tamil Nadu; the train scenes, Neeru under yellow lights when Sachin wakes up after drinking.

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Falling from heaven, rising to human

[9/10 · 29 March 2024]

Absolute class acts by James Stewart and Katharine Hepburn with added comedic moments by Cary Grant. Three legends at their finest.

Tracy, a high society girl, who has put on a facade of perfection in front of society finds herself with encouragement from Connor and Dexter. Katharine Hepburn's character is present in many women out there in the world and this film tells us how we sacrifice ourselves to put on a show of stability and normalcy.

Tracy thinks she'll be happy by marrying a simple man like George but the whole idea is put to test with the introduction of Connor, portrayed by the eternally charming James Stewart.

There are some scenes of absolute beauty when Katharine and Jimmy are on screen. Their chemistry is infectious, and they speak of a yearning of love through their eyes, which is reflected in the viewer's eyes as they see this movie.

I thought that Tracy would end up with Connor, but that was a nice twist by making her choose Dexter. I realize now why the marriage of Tracy and Dexter broke apart in the first place, and why Dexter, still in love with her, helped her find herself.

We shouldn't idealize the person we yearn for, but treat them as human-beings full of flaws and beaming with an infinity of stillness and countless virtues.

Mirror (1975)

A childhood half-remembered

[10/10 · 24 March 2024]

As I grow into adulthood, I begin to appreciate this film more and more. Sometimes, I sleep a very deep sleep, filled with dreams and realities. In those dreams, I recall my childhood, my mother and father, friends I didn't get to say goodbye to, and people who moved on to better places. As I wake up, I see the world awaking, with the dawn breaking. The hue is dream-like, the blue is breaking away from the black of the sky, the landscape is dreamy like fire and rain reminding me of the fire scene from this movie. I feel joy, sadness at the loss my loved ones, at promises never fulfilled, at promises never made yet fulfilled, longing for lost friends and a yearning for newer ones.

Watching this film is like going through that dream and the after-thoughts of waking up. This film is made to be felt with heart and maybe not understood with the brain.

There is discontinuity, the narrative lacks structure, and timelines shift back and forth much like dreaming. Tarkovsky is apologetic to his mother, recalls his childhood as a quiet child growing up without a father, and leaving Moscow during the worst years of World War 2 in Russia. Through fragments, he also recalls the rise of communism and the the fall of Stalinism.

Tarkovsky masterfully used the same actress as both the narrator's mother and his wife. And what an actress Margarita Terekhova is. Her face expresses the inexpressible, and evokes all that is spirital and holy in this world.

One of my all time favourite films that I'll be revisiting in the years to come as I grow older and learn even less about life than I do now.