pieterwesselsbiz Reviews

Soldier (I) (1998)

Skip

[2/10 · 4 October 2020]

If you're looking for something to cynically laugh at for 100 mins then give this one a go.

Although, I would imagine that you probably have much better things to do with your life. After all, life is short. Why waste it on a Paul WS Anderson movie?

Terminator Genisys (2015)

Bad. Real bad.

[2/10 · 4 October 2020]

Starts out relatively solid with a plausible enough premise. Lots of nostalgia driven scenes/sequences in the first 45 mins that held my attention.

After that, it's all downhill, like balls-to-the-wall downhill.

What started out as a plausible enough premise quickly (and then exponentially) turns into an enigma of convoluted gibberish.

It's best you skip this one.

Love, Guaranteed (2020)

BAD

[2/10 · 3 September 2020]

Avoid!

Predictable. Zero chemistry between leads. Amateurish actors. Unfunny script.

This one goes the whole 9 nine yards when it comes to the making of an unfunny rom com.

In the Shadow of the Moon (2019)

Boring

[3/10 · 12 October 2019]

Netflix does it again! Another "original" that makes you wish had spent your time doing something else.

It's basically a mediocre cock tease for 145 mins with the last 10 being the exact opposite of a "happy ending".

Stranger Things (2016– )

Overrated

[6/10 · 22 May 2019]

Is it bad? No. Is it great? No. Is it mediocre? Almost.

The first season was entertaining but lazy pastiche. I enjoyed it when it came out but I could never understand the excessive praise for the show.

Season two was when it died for me.

The Late Bloomer (2016)

Wasted Opporunity

[2/10 · 9 December 2018]

This movie had some great elements going for it; for instance, the premise is hilarious. Some members of the cast are stellar actors but the comedy falls flat most of the time due mainly to the writing, editing and direction.

The main actor was a poor choice. He's just not funny and you can tell that he's acting most of the time. Sometimes he's perfectly awkward but most of the time it just doesn't work.

Chappie (2015)

Crappie

[2/10 · 9 December 2018]

This movie is bad. Real bad. At first, it doesn't seem so. Wait another 35 mins and you'll see what I mean. The third act is especially bad.

It's as if Blomkamp was having an identity crisis while he was making this movie. One minute it's a family movie, then it's action, then it's drama, then it's a comedy...you get the idea.

And putting Die Antwoord in this movie is easily it's worst element. They're pretty annoying most of the time. Stick to music. Not acting.

The Accidental Husband (2008)

Odd

[3/10 · 8 December 2018]

This movie had some interesting elements that could've worked really well under the right direction but falls flat. The pacing is off. The characters are underdeveloped and there isn't much chemistry that feels authentic. I did enjoy Morgan's character, he seemed to embody what his character was supposed to be but everyone else just fell short of their intended purpose.

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

Haters Be Damned

[8/10 · 6 August 2018]

This movie is awesome. End of story. It's got everything you'd want from 300 and more. The naval warfare aspect was sweet and refreshing. This sequel does a fantastic job with cinematic continuity. Almost feels like Snyder made it himself. Well done to Murro on the direction and execution.

An enjoyable sequel and a fun time at the movies!

Van Helsing (2004)

Hammy Fun

[7/10 · 29 July 2018]

"Love it or hate it." Yeah, it's one of those movies. It wears it's purpose on it's sleeve. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out what that purpose means to Stephen Sommers.

This film comes off the success of his rendition of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, equally hammy in its vision and scope. It's too bad this film was a flop at the box office. I would've probably enjoyed a few more entries from Sommers.

Manchester by the Sea (2016)

Not For Me

[3/10 · 14 July 2018]

This movie has an authenticity to it that is one of its leading strengths. It's also why it's so dreadfully boring.

Casey Afleck does give a performance of a lifetime. In fact, the whole cast is pretty rock solid overall.

This movie is just so boring to watch that I felt like clawing my eyes out would be more entertaining.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

Revisionist Trash

[1/10 · 11 June 2018]

It's as if RJ secretly hates the SW universe and wanted to undermine the entire saga from the ground up by dismantling the mythological underpinnings that give it the form that we've all come to know and love.

The storytelling structure of the saga is based in humanity's collective mythic tradition. There is no need for postmodern relativism in this universe. The lines between Good vs Evil were intentionally blurred to make this story seem interesting, bold and to reflect real life. Yeah, nobody wants that in SW. In fact, we watch SW because we want to tune out all that societal noise for 2+ hours and go on a fantastical adventure filled with relatable heroes/heroines that have a transpersonal quest to complete, not this trite mess. And because Disney gave the green light to go down that pathway they've alienated the majority of the fanbase.

And don't get me started on all the unnecessary identity politics, political correctness and underlying feminist narratives present throughout the film.

All in all, this new saga is currently suffering from a mix of poor storytelling, identity politics/political correctness and Marvel-esque humor that is inappropriate for the franchise.

Fire Kathleen Kennedy & Rian Johnson!!!

Hail, Caesar! (2016)

If Only I Could Give It A 6.7

[6/10 · 5 June 2018]

I am tempted to give it a higher score simply because of how I love the way the Coen Brothers craft their movies. This one has that classic touch of theirs: the scenes are meticulously staged, the dialogue is precise, the humor and commentary is perfectly delivered, each shot feels like an illustration, and the casting is on point.

Despite all of this, and many memorable moments throughout the film, it just seems like it was aiming to be so much more. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy its ending for it drove home a message that I think is quite important.

Red Dragon (2002)

Terrible

[3/10 · 31 May 2018]

The headline says it all. It looks good and has a cast of top notch actors. The opening sequence was mildly interesting but the rest is just one long flatline. The main reason for this is Brett Ratner. He has no idea how to build and deliver suspense properly and his sense of pacing is the main reason for the flatline effect. He also relies too much on stock cinematography. See "Manhunter" instead.

Last Action Hero (1993)

Seriously Underrated

[10/10 · 11 April 2018]

I'm proudly jumping on the "this movie is underrated" bandwagon. It's also why I'm giving it a 10/10. In all honesty it's more of a 7/10 flick but it could use the boost.

Where this movie really shines is in its self awareness, satirizing the action movie genre (and Arnie himself) that was so popular during the 80's and 90's, using all of its cliches to its advantage. One of the film's chief writers is Shane Black, the man responsible for almost single-handedly inventing the Lethal Weapon universe (and there are several nods to the franchise throughout the film). Anyone who is familiar with his portfolio (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Nice Guys, Last Boy Scout) knows that the man has a way with words that is authentically funny and smart.

All in all, this film is a lot better than critics and the public gave it credit for when it came out. A seriously hilarious and intentionally over-the-top film that cleverly indulges in its own cinematic self awareness.

The Death of Stalin (2017)

Mocks Strongman Leadership

[9/10 · 8 April 2018]

This movie grimly satirizes what kind of political culture emerges at the highest levels of government when it's whole infrastructure is based around a strongman who surrounds himself with conniving "yes-men" lackeys. It's an obvious jab at the Trump administration (in my opinion).

If you like dark satire and this period in history you'll probably like it.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Underappreciated

[8/10 · 7 April 2018]

Let's face it. The Terminator franchise has always been kitsch. It's "classic" kitsch but kitsch nonetheless. To expect something more from a franchise that started going down the cheesy sentimental route in its second entry is expecting way too much. These movies were meant to be fantastical thrill rides, and T3 is no exception to this rule. In fact, it's a solid blockbuster filled with great action, solid acting, (mostly) well timed humor and great special effects. I also thought it did a good enough job of justifying itself as a legitimate continuation of the universe. If you take this franchise too seriously you will be disappointed with this entry because you will be too preoccupied with how it's "supposed" to be.

All in all, solid entertainment. Too bad T4 & 5 had to suck so bad.