Illogic Reviews

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

A well done movie destroyed by a lack of resolution

[2/10 · 26 June 2022]

I was excited to watch my first Star Wars movie, but was let down in the end. This is a well done movie that I would have given 7 or 8 stars, but unfortunately the story doesn't resolve in the end. The characters in the story have to retrieve something that's needed to stop a terrible threat. The movie ends once the retrieval is done, but there's no resolution on the threat. It's a great setup for a sequel that never came.

I looked for a Rogue Two movie, but there isn't one. Given that it's been six years since this movie was made I'm going to assume that no sequel will ever be made, and therefore there will be no ending to this story. It's disappointing given how enjoyable and well done everything else was in the movie.

I'm getting sick and tired of both TV shows and now movies that decide to throw in the towel halfway through a story without tying up any loose ends. But what do the movie makers care? They're laughing all the way to the bank with my money.

So, a reluctant two stars for this movie that can't be bothered to finish telling its tale. An automatic one star rating for an incomplete story with no resolution, and I'm tossing in another star for the quality of the story as told and how well made it was.

Tenet (2020)

The music overpowers everything and makes this film hard to watch

[3/10 · 14 May 2021]

This movie is simply awful because of the poor sound. The music is trying too hard to be the main event and shove the movie and story to the back.

Christopher Nolan usually does a great job, but for some reason he's let the audio people mix the music SO LOUD that it overpowers dialog and gets in the way. In some scenes you simply can't make out what people are saying because the music and sound is so loud.

Nolan should hire a new composer for this film and re-release it with a new soundtrack. Doing so would improve the experience significantly.

A Country Christmas Story (2013 TV Movie)

Another slap in the face for black fathers

[1/10 · 27 November 2020]

I'll cut to the chase. This is yet another movie that unnecessarily portrays a black man as an absent father. He's abandoned his family to be a bartender while he works on his music. This story could've been written so that the father was an active member of the family and supportive of his daughter's musical aspirations. Instead it uses the damaging trope of the black father that's abandoned his family to create tension in the story.

Studies have repeatedly shown that the pervasive myth about black fathers being absent from their children's lives is just that. A myth. The CDC has found that black fathers are "more involved with their kids on a daily basis than fathers from other racial groups."

The presence of this harmful stereotype in this movie is a continuation of the subtle and systemic racism that makes it so difficult to be a black man in America.

How wonderful this movie would've been if it showed both a mother and father fully engaged in their child's life, encouraging them, and helping guide them to work towards their dreams. It could have portrayed a black man as a positive role model and rejected harmful stereotypes while still telling its story. Because it failed to do so, this movie does more harm than good.

More than anything, I am so disappointed that Dolly Parton signed on to this movie. She seems like such a wholesome and caring person that I assume her involvement is out of ignorance rather than malice. Regardless, her involvement is shameful.

Rating it 1/10 stars due to systemic racism.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Why are these people so poorly trained?

[2/10 · 26 July 2020]

The one question I kept asking during this movie is why are these people so poorly trained? The impression is given that the people are military, but they seem so hopelessly ineffective at their jobs.

Other questions raised were: Why are they straying from their mission and putting everyone at risk? Aren't there protocols for off-world exploration? (apparently not) Why are they freaking out during an emergency? Where is the discipline? Why can't they handle firearms properly? Why are they not communicating effectively with one another?

I'm left with more questions than answers after watching this movie. It was disappointing. The effects were good, but standard fare for any modern movie. Ultimately the story was lackluster and the movie didn't have the same level of endless suspense as, say, the first Alien movie. Ridley Scott did far more with less in his 1979 movie, but he seems to have lost his way since then.

Save your attention for something else unless the Alien franchise is a 'must watch' for you.

The Deer Hunter (1978)

Incredibly boring movie about a wedding

[1/10 · 27 March 2020]

1/10 stars. This movie is mind numbingly boring. I've watched 45 minutes so far and it's all about a wedding. I couldn't take any more and shut it off. Maybe it's a good date night movie or something, but it's not for me.

True Detective (2014– )

Too slow and boring

[3/10 · 1 March 2020]

Slow and meandering, this show goes nowhere and takes its sweet time getting there. It tries to be quirky to make up for a lack of story and character development, but it doesn't work at all. It's a shame too, given the top acting talent the producers have to work with. This is proof that even the best actors can't make a diamond from nothing no matter how good they are. Garbage in, garbage out. I watched up until the end of episode five of the first season and then couldn't take any more.

Glacially slow pacing and a razor-thin story stretched out over eight hours ultimately ruin what could have been a decent two hour movie in better hands.

If you need something to help you go to sleep, then this show is your prescription. If you're looking for a good police procedural or mystery, then you're better off with something else.

True Detective: The Long Bright Dark (2014) Season 1, Episode 1

A waste of time

[3/10 · 1 March 2020]

Slow and meandering, this show goes nowhere and takes its time getting there. It tries to be quirky to make up for a lack of development, but it doesn't work.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (2011)

Another shameful exploitation of 9/11 to make a buck

[2/10 · 16 January 2020]

It's shameful that yet another movie is using 9/11 as a way to make a dollar. It's wrong, and the makers of this movie should be ashamed of themselves.

The child actor is the only worthwhile thing in this movie. He's performance is great.

Mr. Nobody (2009)

A complete mess

[2/10 · 5 January 2019]

This movie doesn't make a damn bit of sense, and it's a complete mess. It's the type of movie someone makes when they think they are saying something smart, but are instead just really high and saying gibberish.

Not worth your time, even for free. 2/10 stars.

Wonder Woman (2017)

A disappointing effort for a great superhero

[2/10 · 21 May 2018]

This movie was deeply disappointing. Most of the movie was spent focusing on the man rather than Wonder Woman. Too much slow motion, and a slow story, made this a real yawner.

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

An acid trip that fails to deliver

[3/10 · 7 November 2010]

This was a mediocre movie at best. A 10-year-old acts like a 10-year-old and throws a tantrum because his mom is trying to get a little from her boyfriend while not paying attention to the kid. The kid, who is wearing a bunny suit made out of a filthy bath mat, runs away, finds a boat, and sails across the ocean. I must admit, it's a novel way of running away from home. I assume, however, that this is more allegorical and that the kid is actually lying in a gutter somewhere tripping on some PCP-laced snow that he ate in the first scene of the movie. That first scene is where you see the sister's stoner high-school friends.

The next hour and a half is spent detailing the kid's trip where parts of his psyche manifest themselves as strange creatures with the dialogue of your average 10-year-old kid. Most of the creatures are tame save for one male creature named Carol that is rather violent and unstable. You never quite know if Carol is going lose it or not. Hey, if I was a guy with a girl's name, I'd have some anger issues too.

I was half expecting the kid to wake up at the end having gouged his eyes out or splattering to the ground having thought he could fly, but that didn't happen. You'll have to watch the movie to see how it all pans out, although I wouldn't recommend it unless you have nothing better to do than watch paint dry.

Ultimately I give it a 3 out of 10 for decent cinematography.

Collateral (2004)

Surprisingly good

[7/10 · 28 December 2005]

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. I don't think of Tom Cruise as an action movie kind of guy, even though he's been in films like Days of Thunder and that fighter pilot movie. When I saw he was in this film I was expecting it to suck. However, Cruise pulled off a very sophisticated and cold hit-man character, at least for the first half of the film. Jamie Foxx also did well as the nervous cab driver who becomes Cruise's unwitting accomplice. It's great to see that Foxx can do more than comedy. Foxx gives, in my opinion, a great dramatic performance in this movie.

Unfortunately, by about three quarters of the way through the movie, the characters start to, well, change. Cruise's character in particular loses much of the cool that was so appealing. What we are left with by the end of the movie is a clichéd good guy / bad guy chase scene. But don't let this deter you from seeing the movie.

Last, the cinematography in this movie is beautiful. Everything takes place at night and most of the movie is outside, with the main characters in the cab. I found the movie to be visually stunning.

This isn't an edge of your seat thriller. You won't be biting your nails wondering what is going to happen next. But it is a lot of fun.

Battlestar Galactica (2004–2009)

Promising but fails on technical details

[31 July 2005]

This Sci-Fi channel series has some great stories and interesting characters. These are the type of character that you can really care about. There is also nice set design and a wonderfully dark feel overall. However, poor camera work ultimately ruins this promising series. Just when you feel that you are there and part of the story, "shakey-cam" and zooming in and out reminds you that you're just watching a TV show, quickly bringing you back to reality. Review ends here. Better camera work would have improved the series overall and reeled in more viewers in my opinion. I've already given you 10 lines of text, stop complaining.

Terms of Endearment (1983)

Excruciatingly boring

[2/10 · 21 December 2003]

This movie consists of a highly disfunctional woman constantly bearing children while her phone rings off the hook with her mother calling her. Later, her vapid and self-absorbed mother falls for an equally self-absorbed and pompous baffon of a neighbour. The acting, while good, didn't make me want to care about any of the characters except for the kids. Overall, there's nothing redeeming about this movie. Truly a waste of film. I want those two hours of my life back, please.

Rating 2/10.

Ladyhawke (1985)

Bad music ruined an otherwise good movie

[1/10 · 6 December 2003]

This would have been a good movie if it wasn't for the bad music. It kind of kills the mood of the movie to hear a disco fever song in the middle of a medieval movie that's trying to be serious. Matthew Broderick did a good job with his character, though.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Yet another martial arts film

[4/10 · 23 November 2002]

There are a million movies from Asia that look just like this one. People run, they jump, occasionally kick, and are generally aggressive towards one another. This movie is no different save for the fact that people fly while kicking their legs helplessly. It's an overuse of an effect that only detracts from the story rather than enhances it.

Taking a cue from Hollywood, there is also an unimportant love story in the middle of the movie. It stretches out for over ten minutes only to set up a scene at the last minute of the movie, something that could have been handled by another character's dialogue. It also suffers from "Romeo and Juliet syndrome," showing that two people can meet, fall in love, and be separated within 24 hours time, then obsess about each other forever after. It's disappointing that so many feet of film were wasted on this unnecessary diversion rather than extending the character development of Li Mu Bai and Yu Shu Lien. Save your money for a better film.