ironbutterfly Reviews

The Pelican Brief (1993)

What, What did you say?

[21 January 2004]

I couldn't hear one word of Darby's explanation on "The Pelican Brief." She was whispering the entire conversation into a tape recorder. Why did the director tell her to do that? Was it for dramatic purposes? NEWS FLASH, actors can still hold up the same level of drama while talking normally so the audience can hear and understand the movie. If the director was going to have her whisper THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE MOVIE, then he should had have the screenwriter write a prologue explaining, however not in complete detail, the purpose of "The Pelican Brief." The actors in "The Pelican Brief" were great, but it was a shame that I couldn't hear a single word they were saying. 4/10.

Spider-Man (2003)

Has a lot of potential, but somethings has to change.

[26 August 2003]

Get rid of Harry's pimp daddy personality and having him say Spider-Man is a murderer in every other sentence because it is really getting old, Lisa Loeb as Mary Jane Watson, and the Dawson's Creek crap stuff, like the Peter and Mary Jane romance (which is a straight rip off of Clark and Lana on Smallville, and that is a rip off of Dawson's Creek) and the show would be fine. P.S. why is Harry drinking so much, he is supposed to be 18 and a freshman in college and why is Mary Jane best friends with Peter and Harry. In high school, it was was back to back shutdowns.

Justice League (2001–2004)

I want them to bring in Bruce Timm for the animator or the artist of X-Men 1992.

[20 July 2003]

The art they have now looks as if it were drawn with a ruler or an exacto knife. The storylines are ok, but I cannot watch a cartoon with bad animation, it is like listening to a singer who is tone deaf. That is the main reason I stopped watching Batman the animated series when it moved from Fox in 1995 to WB in 1997 along with Superman staring Tim Daly and Dana Delany. I am very prejudice when it comes to animation.

Dead Like Me (2003–2004)

My new favorite show.

[27 June 2003]

This show was beyond terrific. The main character, George is a person I can really identify with. Hates responsibility, takes life for granted, hates her job, finds life as one stupid sarcastic joke and should be made fun of. Whoever thought of this show, should get an emmy because it is fantastic.

Daredevil (2003)

The worst superhero movie, next to The Punisher staring Lundgren

[1/10 · 15 February 2003]

Terrible, from the first minute to the last. It was rushed more than X-Men, and at least that movie had some sort of a plot; this movie had none. Terrible screen writing, awful direction, sucky acting, and terrible editing. Jennifer Garner was only in the movie for 15 minutes and when she was it was a rip off of Batman Return's Catwoman. Colin Farell was the model of over acting. Michael Clark Duncan was a rip off of Ving Rhames Marsellus in Pulp Fiction. Ben Affleck was awful as usual. I would like to type down what this movie was about, but frankly, I don't even know myself. Do not make a sequel to this Pulp Fiction, Batman, Batman Returns, Superman, Spider-Man, and probably Dude where is my freakin' car. I typed down a review of Spider-Man a few months ago, and I wish I could take it down because this movie gave me a huge respect for Spider-Man; the all out best superhero movie of all time, and that IS saying much.

Chicago (2002)

1,000,000 times better than Moulin Rouge...

[4 January 2003]

Personally, I thought Moulin Rouge was beyond terrible. I had never walked out of a movie, but Moulin Rouge was an exception. Ebert and Roeper were wrong when they said that Catherine Zeta Jones, Renee Zellweger, and Richard Gere weren't right for the role, and that they were flat. It proves that some people don't have taste in their mouths, and were born with tin ears. I can't see anybody more perfect in Chicago, than these three in this movie. I can't believe that neither one of them were nominated for Golden Globes, with the exception of Queen Latifah for best supporting actress, and I hope she wins. 10 out of 10

Smallville (2001–2017)

The pilot, hot head, and hour glass were great episodes, but that is about it for this show.

[3 January 2003]

The show is getting old, and it is just in its second season. The first season got tiresome really quick because they dragged the villain of the week business to near-death. I understand that the creators have to make it interesting, but it was so cartoony. Now, in the second season, they are repeating their actions again.

Another thing is that I have seen it all before, from a little show entitled, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Some of the villains are pure copies from Buffy. For example: The episode entitled Heat had an evil sub using pheromones to attract men. In the BTVS episode Teacher's Pet, an evil sub uses pheromones to attract men, but the episodes' outcomes differs at the climax. Also the characters are all ripoffs of Buffy, but mostly Chloe/Willow and Pete/Xander.

The show has a lot of potential, but it must stop repeating itself, or it will cancel. If the screen writers believe that it's so dire for them to borrow elements from Buffy to make the show successful, why not give Clark one major obstacle(and face it, everything is a rip off of something. For example: Psycho leads to Halloween, leads to Terminator, leads to Matrix, leads to every kung-fu/action movie that has been invented for the millennium.) Either have Big Bads that Clark has to defeat at the end of each season, have one major big bad throughout the whole series (ala Alias with SD-6. Lex doesn't count because he isn't bad, and the father doesn't count because the audience doesn't know what devious plan the father is about to, or ever commit), or take some tips from the Steven Spielberg miniseries "Taken". Like have the military trying to take Clark away and use him as a government weapon, giving Clark even more reason to conceal his powers.

The teen audience might just catch on that the show has the same out come of events within each season, such as the drab, and oh-so-tiring villain-of-the-week; therefore, the show won't see a 4th season. Remember Dark Angel, which fell into that hum-drum realm within its second season, and it never saw a 3rd.

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

One of Spielberg's best...

[31 December 2002]

This movie, from the talented direction to the great acting is beyond terrific. I hope Leonardo Dicaprio gets the academy award for this movie (and I never thought I would ever say that, but he is incredibly good in this movie). Also, Tom Hanks should get best supporting actor at the oscars as well, because as always, he was great (BTW he was jipped for the oscar for castaway. He pulled a one man show for 2 and a half hours on an island, and it still kept my interest.) Come on academy, when will Leonardo ever get nominated for an academy award in a leading actor category again (nominated for best supporting actor for What's Eating Gilbert Grape; lost though). Just give him this one, because he deserves it.

Maid in Manhattan (2002)

It is "Working Girl," a teaspoon of "Ever After," a pinch of "Pretty Woman," and a whole lot of fluff.

[21 December 2002]

The movie is very predictable, took a lot of elements from other movies, and it is not a great romantic comedy. Working Girl was a great romantic comedy. Ever After was a great romance. Pretty Woman is one of the all out best romantic comedies there are out there, and this movie tried to cram in all three movies into one, but have JLO star in it. JLO has lost her edge. She was great in Selena and Out of Sight, but all of a sudden she started doing terrible movies. It is sad because she has a very down to earth style of acting, but when she turned from Jennifer Lopez the actress to JLO the pop icon who is about to marry one of the WORST actors there is out there (Ben Affleck) she started making nothing, but fantacrap. Back in the mid nineties, I thought she was going to be the first Puerto Rican actress to win Best Actress, but now she typecasted herself to become the Puerto Rican pretty girl with stereotyped friends (the black friend saying, "You go girl" in every sentence, and the Italian friend who is the boss of everyone, and probably has a link to the mob) that can't do anything, but pointless romantic comedies that steal scenes from other movies. Jennifer, it is time to stop acting, because you are now permanently TYPECAST, and I heard that Gigli and Jersey Girl are going to suck as well(look at the leading man). You can always pull a Sally Field. She started with Gidget, then the Flying Nun, and had to do a mind blowing performance with Sybil to get people to notice her, but I seriously doubt that will EVER happen with JLO.

Spider-Man (2002)

Great comic book film, but a little bit on the corny side.

[10/10 · 11 December 2002]

I believe that Spider-Man is the best comic book movie there is, but that is half compliment and half insult. Superman, Batman, and X-Men all suffered from the same thing; they all had a weak plot. Superman's ending was an utter cop out. Batman really didn't have a plot if you think about it, it was just moody. X-Men was completely rushed and Magnito's plan for mutant acceptance or whatever he wanted was stupid. Spider-Man had a much better plot (Still don't know what Green Goblin whole plan was. He already murdered his enemies, then what)but the dialog was corny. That whole hospital scene where Peter talks to MJ needs to go. Plus, Harry and J Jonah Jamerson should had been in it more. I don't know why Harry and Peter were hanging out together because in the movie I could clearly see that they really didn't like each other too much, but in the comic they were two peas in a pod. Peter's character should had been more like MTV's Daria/Chandler on Friends. He wasn't funny at all in this movie and that made Peter stand out as a character other than he being the only normal/down to earth superhero in comicbook land (Standing Ovation to Stan Lee). Also I did not like Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane. I would have chosen Eliza Cuthbert from 24 or Sarah Michelle Gellar, but they seemed more of Gwen Stacy candidates than Mary Jane. I had read the book version of the Spider-Man movie, and it is 10 times better than the actual movie, and it is based off of it.

The 9/11 stuff had to go as well. I know it happened. America knows it happened, so I don't need to be reminded of it in a super hero movie. That was an extremely BAD mistake and it brought down the whole movie.

The music on further note was awful. I have bad expectations for the Daredevil movie, but geez I heard some of the music to the soundtrack and it is 10 times better than Spider-Man's. Danny Elfman totally failed me. This is the person who brought us the theme to Batman and The Simpsons. The trailer music by E.S. Posthumus should had been the theme song. Next time get the composer from the Disney animated series "Gargoyles" because he composed a great theme. Theme songs are one of the best parts in a superhero movie, that is another thing why X-Men gone wrong.

Last and most is the action scenes. I really didn't care about the CGI. People thought it look fake, but I thought it looked fine, along with the Green Goblin costume, but that, along with my review is my opinion. They should have gotten Yuen Woo Ping and mimic "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's," fighting moves or have "Cirque de Soleil" choreograph the movie. It's SPIDER-MAN, the master of strings. Who cares if people say, "How can a teen-ager know how to do all those fighting moves." Just leave that question with the, "How can a teen-ager make a foam latex superhero outfit to fight crime, he just can."

Like I said before, this movie is the best comic book adaption, but that isn't saying much. There were many flaws in this movie and I expected more from the person who wrote the brilliant script "Panic Room." Tobey Maguire was the perfect choice to play Peter Parker. Wes Bentley would just had made Peter look like the American Beauty role he played. The movie deserved all the money it racked in and I hope it still stays at number 1 of the highest billed movies to bring in the most money in the first weekend. Daredevil would probably suck like Tomb Raider. The movie is mostly hyped by the commercials, but when you watch it, it is awful because Mark Steven Johnson is cramming in 20 years of Daredevil comics into one movie by having so many characters in the first movie, while he could easily put half of them in the sequel that we all know is coming in 2005 of 06. I applaud the screenwriter for not cramming all the comics into Spider-Man, but I hope he corrects some of the mistakes he did in the first one for the sequel.

Amélie (2001)

Next to "When Harry Met Sally", this is the best comedic movie I have ever seen.

[28 November 2002]

This movie is beyond great. From the fantastic direction of Jean Pierre Jeunet to the illuminating leading lady--the beautiful Audrey Tautou (who is the next Audrey Hepburn)this movie is flawless. It is about a shy,inquisitive,selfless young woman named Amelie Poulain. Amelie occupies her life by making other people in her small town happy, but she is so busy making other peoples lives meaningful that she forgets about herself, and it takes an agoraphobic man with a fragile bone structure to help her believe that she too counts as a human being on this earth and deserves happiness, and the love of a lonely young man who collects torn up photos from the bottom of photo booths, to help Amelie start thinking about herself. If you buy the DVD, I would advise to read the English subtitles and turn the English dialog back to French because it spoils the whole ambiance of this magnificent tale, because the voices of the actors help bring its watcher into this movie.

Enough (I) (2002)

More cliche's than "Glitter".

[1/10 · 18 November 2002]

This movie is beyond awful. The only movie Jennifer Lopez was somewhat good in was "Selina" and that is not really a compliment. It is a story of a waitress who meets the guy of her dreams and marries him. A few years and an annoying little girl later, JLO finds out that her husband is cheating on her with some French woman and confronts him about it, but instead of stopping the cheating he gives JLO a punch in the jaw, and acts like a total skitzo through out the movie. One minute he is a the nice guy, next he is this wife beating, chauvinist jerk. "OH BROTHER", can this movie get anymore comicbooky with this man's character changing in a blink of an eye with NO EXPLANATION WHAT SO EVER, wait, it can. After she escapes the man with her daughter, she looks for her rich father who abandoned her and her mother years ago because her husband is after her and his daughter. She finds him, and some after-school-special crap happens.Daddy dearest feels sorry for JLO and instead of getting her some security guards and high priced lawyers for a divorce, he high tech's her up with watches that spray some sort of mace, and have her trained in Krav Maga which she becomes an expert in about 3 weeks, "GIVE ME A BREAK". Then she realizes she can't take anymore crap from her husband, so she sets him up by breaking into his house, getting rid of his guns and knifes, and placing letters around the house saying some crap about him beating her, or some foolishness like that. She waits until he comes home, and the end turns into the climax of Jet Li's film, "The One" with all these combat moves and junk like that, and she kills him. After "Sleeping with the Enemy" oh excuse me, "Eye for an Eye" oh excuse me again, "Enough" ended, I realized I just wasted 115 minutes of my life with this stupid crap. JLO if you aren't going to do a proper movie, don't act. I know you acted before you sang, but face it, you are worse than Freddie Prinze Jr. in picking out a good script. Stick with singing and dancing.

Carrie (2002 TV Movie)

Better than the made-for-tv movie, "The Shining"

[4 November 2002]

**SPOILERS** It was pretty good and some aspects were better than the original but nothing could beat Piper Laurie in the original. Clarkson wasn't that good, I would had gotten Kathy Baker for the mother. ***SPOILER*****The part when Carrie doesn't remember what happened at the prom, I liked that. It shows that Carrie isn't a bad person; she isn't evil. Chris, her boyfriend, and half of the high school were evil. And also when the teacher does a total 180 and developed a thirst for vengence for Carrie, I also liked that. For people that don't know yet, this isn't just a made-for-tv movie, it is a pilot and I hope it gets picked up because I would love to see what happens after the movie ended.