This episode is actually closer to six stars, but I give it an extra star if only for the presence of Jeffrey Combs, seen here in his first role on DS9. The well-regarded character actor is slathered so thickly in FX makeup that he is nearly unrecognizable until you can hear his voice. He plays Tiron, a wealthy creep with a thing for Major Kira, and he tries to lean on Quark to obtain her. Of course, Quark can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do, and the results are hilariously disturbing in a "Windowlicker" kind of way. This storyline, while somewhat weak and silly, is way better than the A plot, wherein Jadzia Dax falls quickly and conveniently in love with the handsomest, ruggedest resident of a planet that only exists in this dimension every sixty years. It's almost romantic, except that Terry Farrell and her supposed paramour Brett Cullen have absolutely no chemistry. Director (and sometime Commander Riker) Jonathan Frakes does comedy very well, but he should really steer clear of romance, especially on this show. One of the more strikingly boring episodes of the series so far.
Reviews
24 Reviews
Frakes directs; Combs debuts; Jadzia falls in love; we fall asleep.
8 December 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Introducing Kai Winn
6 August 2010
The episode that introduces Oscar-winner Louise Fletcher as Winn, a chillingly sinister religious zealot who would go on to appear in several more episodes during the series run. Still known as Vedek Winn at this point, she's in line to become the next Kai, the Bajoran's spiritual leader, and immediately brings intense conflict by busting into teacher Keiko's class and implying that teaching the young'uns science about the wormhole without mentioning the awesomeness of the prophets is tantamount to blasphemy. She then has Sisko over to her quarters, calls him Emissary, and justifies her actions by worrying about the "consequences" of what will happen if the kids aren't trained up right. Meanwhile, O'Brien and his hottie fellow engineer Neela investigate the death of an engineer who happened to borrow one of Miles's tools before getting melted in a plasma conduit. Was it an accident, or was he murdered? And by who? And why? Sisko appeals to another Vedek, the much mellower Bareil, to try to defuse the situation before the station descends into total chaos.
It's not as brilliant as the preceding episode, "Duet", but "Prophets" is pretty good too, with a tightly interwoven set of story lines, further ugly truths about Bajoran culture (and beautiful faith in the goodness of individuals), and some good performances. Mostly, though, the characters are in service of the plot, and they are sketched somewhat broadly for DS9, which generally delights in nuance and complexity. It's a good stand-alone episode that shows the other sides of our allies, the Bajorans, and will make you think twice about blindly accepting them as victimized good guys. As usual, Louise Fletcher turns in a great performance as an ice-cold, dogmatic ball buster, and it's very entertaining to watch her and Avery Brooks's unflappable Sisko go head to head.
It's not as brilliant as the preceding episode, "Duet", but "Prophets" is pretty good too, with a tightly interwoven set of story lines, further ugly truths about Bajoran culture (and beautiful faith in the goodness of individuals), and some good performances. Mostly, though, the characters are in service of the plot, and they are sketched somewhat broadly for DS9, which generally delights in nuance and complexity. It's a good stand-alone episode that shows the other sides of our allies, the Bajorans, and will make you think twice about blindly accepting them as victimized good guys. As usual, Louise Fletcher turns in a great performance as an ice-cold, dogmatic ball buster, and it's very entertaining to watch her and Avery Brooks's unflappable Sisko go head to head.
Buffy - and Joss - at its finest
22 January 2008
Every "genre" show has an episode that I consider "the show that launched a thousand fanfics", and this is definitely one of Buffy's. (Buffy has several, which is both a symptom of and a cause of its enduring fan base.) "Dopplegangland" has hilarious lines of dialog which comes thick and fast, and the comic timing is excellent on the part of everyone - but who could lose with those witty lines? An atmosphere of strange kink runs through it, used to great comic effect, as well as displaying secret, hidden sides to characters in subtle moments and reactions that only become apparent later in the season, or in the series as a whole. It threatens to get too silly at times, but it never does; the laughs are too smart and too genuine. This is Joss Whedon at the top of his game as both scriptwriter and director, and is the episode that made me into a fan of Whedon - and Buffy.
Magic
(1978)
Classic 70's psychological horror
1 June 2007
MAGIC is one of those movies that I watched with my mom when I was a kid (what can I say? Mom had odd taste in films) and that made me an Anthony Hopkins fan forever. As a kid, the movie was almost unbearably creepy (and has given me a deep-seated fear of ventriloquist's dummies) and as an adult, I can appreciate both its camp qualities and its genuine understanding of the language of horror and thriller films. Director Richard Attenborough was working on a much smaller scale than his famous films from later in the 1980s, and the claustrophobia of the spaces provides an oppressive, tense atmosphere that continually threatens to leap out. When it does, it's the kind of viscerally terrifying that you can only laugh at, unless you're the screaming type. Anthony Hopkins does a fantastic job, as does his love interest, the sublime Ann-Margret, bringing a particular brittle hopefulness to the picture that contrasts beautifully with Hopkins's unpredictable character. Mostly, though, it's just superstar-padded thriller fun which requires a massive suspension of disbelief, but most of the classics do.
Pootie Tang
(2001)
my dilly
25 May 2007
It's criminal, how underrated this movie is. It's inspired on so many levels, and the encyclopedic knowledge of action films, hip-hop videos, 70s blaxploitation and chop-socky movies is breathtaking. I always think of it in the same class as THE JERK and ZOOLANDER, with a healthy respect for flat-out absurdity and non-stop gags. The filming style is rough, and the actors generally have no polish (an undoubtedly deliberate choice), which makes the sudden flashes of precision so devastatingly funny. Wanda Sykes, in particular, is absolute gold as party girl Biggie Shorty, but the film's full of co-stars - Andy Richter, Dave Attell, Jennifer Coolidge, J.D. Williams, Missy Elliott, and Robert Vaughan - who get their turn on the silliness carousel. I can imagine someone who isn't a fan, or at least an observer, of the above things would hate this movie like poison, but for me, who has seen more Jay-Z videos than I ever wanted to see and who can't help laughing when I see a man use kung-fu to bounce bullets off his hair (a gag too complicated to explain, but seamless on screen), POOTIE TANG is fantastic.
I'd recommend it more, but it's just too hard to describe!
I'd recommend it more, but it's just too hard to describe!
F***! An amazing episode of television
16 January 2007
This is an exceptional episode of a consistently exceptional show. There's a confidence in changing the rules by which the TV game is played that I have rarely seen matched. This show is genius, and knows it. It's not about actors or cinematography, though it excels in both areas. This is a show that is all about story, and it's immaculate - no waste, no loose edges. The scene in this episode where a crime scene is re-enacted by two cops is a masterpiece - no real dialogue, just a disarming stream of f-bombs which I realized after a few moments perfectly illuminated the way that these two detectives work together; they have an interactive flow, outlined by but not described by obscenity, that reflects the show in miniature. What other show is so well-structured, intellectually challenging, emotionally engaging, and completely entertaining?
Night at the Museum
(2006)
I walked out.
22 December 2006
I have never walked out of a film before, but I realized with a start that life was simply too short for me to put myself through this. I'm not a kid, and I don't have kids, and I wasn't there with kids. I am far from this film's intended audience - I love fantasy stories, and museums, and silliness, but this is poorly written, slow-paced, predictable, and lame. I am trying really hard to maintain my good opinion of Ben Stiller, but this isn't helping. It's good to see industry vets like Dick Van Dyke and Mickey Rooney in a movie, but even they can't polish this up, and the brilliant Ricky Gervais is so horrifically unfunny, and his sense of humor so inappropriate for this movie, it's depressing. What vaguely clever dialogue there is, is brushed past too quickly and quietly for most audiences to hear - and if you're five, why would you care? For young kids only; parents, you might want to take a nap while you're there with them.
Blood Thirst
(1971)
Definitely a B-movie - but extremely watchable!
12 January 2006
I was pretty startled to find out that this film was made in 1971. It has all the earmarks of a 1950s B-lister - ambiguous horror, randy hero, tons of gorgeous dames, peril, black and white photography. There's barely enough horror in this film to call it such, and what there is, is extremely cheesy, but I found myself loving it nonetheless. The Manila, Phillipines setting is interesting and the strained one-liners of the hero (and his primary love interest) are gold-plated howlers. This is a fine movie to put on and mock, while having a few pina coladas, before watching something actually good (or at least, a genuine 1950s B-movie horror classic). You won't feel bad about not giving it your complete attention, but fulfilled when you do.
New Rose Hotel
(1998)
The only successful William Gibson adaptation
19 December 2005
When making movies out of fiction, most of the time it doesn't work, unless the original text is purely telegraphic in style. If it's good prose, it's not usually the larger actions that we see that make it good - it's something more ethereal within the style itself that give it quality. William Gibson's noir-influenced techno-satire would seem perfect for adaptation, but anyone who's suffered through (or even enjoyed) JOHNNY MNEMONIC suddenly realizes that the characters' tough-guy dialog sounds utterly preposterous when actually voiced by a human being.
In NEW ROSE HOTEL, director Abel Ferrara finds the emotional heart of a very spare Gibson short (one of the best things Gibson's ever written, and blessedly short on actual dialog) and creates a recognizable near- future world and characters who seem as comfortable with this subtly accelerated reality as we of 2005 are with plasma-screen TVs and mobile phones. The structure of the film can be extremely off-putting to those without enormous patience - it's very slow-paced, and halfway through we see the almost the entire story over again, but very slightly changed. As far as I can tell, most of the scenes were shot twice from different angles. The entire point of Abel Ferrara's approach is to visually represent the phrase, "If only I knew then what I know now". NEW ROSE HOTEL really needs to be seen at least twice to be understood, and only lets go of the intelligence and daring of the direction and the performances after repeated viewings.
Christopher Walken plays Christopher Walken, under the guise of the character "Fox", but I've rarely seen Walken so simultaneously comfortable and affected in any other role. Willem Dafoe has to play younger than he looks, and we get to watch his character learn what a fool he's been, writhing with embarrassed disgust and fear as he discovers that the source of his predicament is his own stupidity and sentimentality. A very young-looking Asia Argento plays Sandii with more depth than she is regularly given credit for - her style is so subtle and genuine that she hardly seems to be acting, and as far as I've seen, she isn't, but she's so sexy and vulnerable that I'm more than willing to watch.
It's a shame this film is so under-appreciated; it's definitely my favorite Ferrara film, and one of my top two Christopher Walken films. And lots of Asia in her underwear - what's not to love?
In NEW ROSE HOTEL, director Abel Ferrara finds the emotional heart of a very spare Gibson short (one of the best things Gibson's ever written, and blessedly short on actual dialog) and creates a recognizable near- future world and characters who seem as comfortable with this subtly accelerated reality as we of 2005 are with plasma-screen TVs and mobile phones. The structure of the film can be extremely off-putting to those without enormous patience - it's very slow-paced, and halfway through we see the almost the entire story over again, but very slightly changed. As far as I can tell, most of the scenes were shot twice from different angles. The entire point of Abel Ferrara's approach is to visually represent the phrase, "If only I knew then what I know now". NEW ROSE HOTEL really needs to be seen at least twice to be understood, and only lets go of the intelligence and daring of the direction and the performances after repeated viewings.
Christopher Walken plays Christopher Walken, under the guise of the character "Fox", but I've rarely seen Walken so simultaneously comfortable and affected in any other role. Willem Dafoe has to play younger than he looks, and we get to watch his character learn what a fool he's been, writhing with embarrassed disgust and fear as he discovers that the source of his predicament is his own stupidity and sentimentality. A very young-looking Asia Argento plays Sandii with more depth than she is regularly given credit for - her style is so subtle and genuine that she hardly seems to be acting, and as far as I've seen, she isn't, but she's so sexy and vulnerable that I'm more than willing to watch.
It's a shame this film is so under-appreciated; it's definitely my favorite Ferrara film, and one of my top two Christopher Walken films. And lots of Asia in her underwear - what's not to love?
The Hired Hand
(1971)
Psychedelic western? Sign me up!
18 December 2005
This little-known film is easily one of the most beautiful, rare, exceptional gems that I have ever seen. I would never have heard of it, but Peter Fonda himself had just gotten a good print of this film, and was showing it around the small art theaters on the West coast. I saw Fonda introduce this film at the Roxy Theater in San Francisco, and while I was there mostly to pay my respects to a beloved actor, this film was an absolute bonus and I've been looking for it ever since.
Warren Oates and Fonda are amazing; the photography is great; and yes, this is a psychedelic movie in the purest sense of absolutely changing perceptions, including larger physical sensations - a lot of the time that I was watching this I felt like I was floating above my body, or swimming in a cold clear river as the characters do so. The story is also superb, a 70s revisionist view on the morals and structure of the western genre, and I see some similarities between it and my other favorite revisionist western, Clint Eastwood's UNFORGIVEN. But THE HIRED HAND stands in its own class - not just as a western, but as a piece of shamefully obscure cinema. I'll be acquiring this as soon as I am able.
Warren Oates and Fonda are amazing; the photography is great; and yes, this is a psychedelic movie in the purest sense of absolutely changing perceptions, including larger physical sensations - a lot of the time that I was watching this I felt like I was floating above my body, or swimming in a cold clear river as the characters do so. The story is also superb, a 70s revisionist view on the morals and structure of the western genre, and I see some similarities between it and my other favorite revisionist western, Clint Eastwood's UNFORGIVEN. But THE HIRED HAND stands in its own class - not just as a western, but as a piece of shamefully obscure cinema. I'll be acquiring this as soon as I am able.
Not recommended - but some wonderful moments
20 November 2005
I rated this film a 2 instead of 1 because I did love it so much when I first saw it on 80s late-night TV as a kid (and I'm sure it had somehand in my becoming a Beatles freak at a young age, at a time when such a thing was peculiar). Also the performances by Aerosmith and Earth, Wind and Fire are excellent if taken completely out of the context of this awful, awful movie. Other than that, I don't find it watchable even as a piece of deep 70s nostalgia, and ordinarily I'm all about that.
Nobody, and I say that with all totality, can act in this movie. I don't think they were even trying. Poodle-haired Peter Frampton wears an expression that endlessly invites a good slap, and the brothers Gibb really ought to have stayed in the studio so we wouldn't have to look at them. There are actual actors in this movie - Donald Pleasance, Steve Martin, George Burns - but all of them more or less embarrass themselves. It's mind-boggling to see how expensive this movie was, and how incredibly boring it turned out, despite the constant attempts to jazz it up.
I love musicals. I love the Beatles. Heck, I love Peter Frampton. But it'll be a cold day in Hades before I voluntarily subject myself to this film again. On the other hand, I am grateful that it can still be seen - and should be seen, if only as a warning to others. Or, potentially, a weapon against someone you don't really like and wish would go home.
Nobody, and I say that with all totality, can act in this movie. I don't think they were even trying. Poodle-haired Peter Frampton wears an expression that endlessly invites a good slap, and the brothers Gibb really ought to have stayed in the studio so we wouldn't have to look at them. There are actual actors in this movie - Donald Pleasance, Steve Martin, George Burns - but all of them more or less embarrass themselves. It's mind-boggling to see how expensive this movie was, and how incredibly boring it turned out, despite the constant attempts to jazz it up.
I love musicals. I love the Beatles. Heck, I love Peter Frampton. But it'll be a cold day in Hades before I voluntarily subject myself to this film again. On the other hand, I am grateful that it can still be seen - and should be seen, if only as a warning to others. Or, potentially, a weapon against someone you don't really like and wish would go home.
The Story of 'Hansel and Gretel'
(1951 TV Short)
Harryhausen classic short
15 October 2005
This is an excellent Ray Harryhausen claymation short of the classic fairy tale - the animation is superb, even though Gretel looks about 1000 times more manly than the rosy-cheeked Hansel, and it looks like the gingerbread house is made out of actual Mother's brand cookies. But check out the expressions of glee when the case of treasure is found - it's astonishingly expressive, and typical of Harryhausen's ability to create genuine emotional content with just a few dabs of clay. Harryhausen was obviously a master of the art, even in 1951, and this is a great acquisition for any Harryhausen fans. This short is included in the $1 "Terror Attack 2-Pack" with THE SCREAMING SKULL and A BUCKET OF BLOOD - and is worth getting just for the short alone, even with the inclusion of the two classic horror movies.
Streets of Fire
(1984)
definition of a guilty pleasure
10 October 2005
I rated this a "5" because I think it's a terrible film in general, but it's also one of my lifelong favorites that actually impresses me every time I see it. Sometimes it impresses me with its awfulness, but there's also a spirit of inventiveness and daring that are all too rare these days. There are some cheesy-fantastic performances from Diane Lane, Willem Dafoe (!), and Amy Madigan (!), and the sets, props, costumes, and general feel must be seen to be believed. And the soundtrack is both agonizing and wonderful. I still don't know if this is a gigantic turkey or a masterpiece - maybe it's a little bit of both. Essential viewing for a new generation of 80's retro fans.
It's dren
5 September 2005
I've spent a lot of time over the last few years watching the entire series run of FARSCAPE on DVD, as I haven't had cable for years and was always interested in what seemed like a smart, funny, exciting, and engaging show. I was not wrong at all - I quickly got utterly addicted, fell in love with pretty much every recurring character, and wondered how it would all end up.
So of course I got the Peacekeeper Wars DVD from the video store... and I have almost never been so disappointed in all my life. I was groaning throughout most of it, and actually kept my eyes closed for large sections of it because I knew that there wouldn't be anything that was necessary for me to see. This, the culmination of a series that changed the way I look at what's possible on television, and what's possible in science fiction, and would never miss a single frame! On behalf of other Scapers, I am glad that you had a miniseries that would wrap things up for you, but I need a little bit more than long, drawn-out, repetitive gun battles, repetitions of a fact that is so incredibly important that they have to say it over and over again for about an hour, frequent violations of the established canon and the most fundamental laws of physics...
I love FARSCAPE enough that I wish I had never lain eyes on this abomination, or at least I wish I'd watched it in Spanish, so I could escape the wretched, hackneyed dialogue that seemed to be written by someone who thought they knew what fans responded to. And seeing the other user comments here, apparently, they were right. But the show deserved a better, smarter, more challenging send-off than this. I'd rather have something just disappear at the height of its quality than descend into a cesspool of suck. Brian Henson, you have disappointed me yet again.
So of course I got the Peacekeeper Wars DVD from the video store... and I have almost never been so disappointed in all my life. I was groaning throughout most of it, and actually kept my eyes closed for large sections of it because I knew that there wouldn't be anything that was necessary for me to see. This, the culmination of a series that changed the way I look at what's possible on television, and what's possible in science fiction, and would never miss a single frame! On behalf of other Scapers, I am glad that you had a miniseries that would wrap things up for you, but I need a little bit more than long, drawn-out, repetitive gun battles, repetitions of a fact that is so incredibly important that they have to say it over and over again for about an hour, frequent violations of the established canon and the most fundamental laws of physics...
I love FARSCAPE enough that I wish I had never lain eyes on this abomination, or at least I wish I'd watched it in Spanish, so I could escape the wretched, hackneyed dialogue that seemed to be written by someone who thought they knew what fans responded to. And seeing the other user comments here, apparently, they were right. But the show deserved a better, smarter, more challenging send-off than this. I'd rather have something just disappear at the height of its quality than descend into a cesspool of suck. Brian Henson, you have disappointed me yet again.
Superman II
(1980)
It's crap - but I love it!
10 July 2005
This is a superlatively awful movie directed by Richard Lester, who once was capable of such deft, witty comedies as A HARD DAY'S NIGHT... but who (un)wisely decided to camp it way, way up for the beloved, but Christopher Reeve SUPERMAN franchise. The dialogue is astonishingly bad, and the moments of cheese that were timely and pithy in 1980 seem like the howlingly embarrassing bits from an episode of "Dobie Gillis" - dated and squirm-inducing. "Hey man, that's a bad out-FIT!" Ouch. But Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder do the best they can with what they have, and things are lightened considerably by the campy chops of Sarah Douglas and the sublime Terence Stamp. When I was a kid, Superman/Clark's angst rang utterly true - in hindsight, it's almost painful to watch all the non-Krypton Kriminal bits. You better believe I watch it every time it's on cable, though.
Fantastic Planet
(1973)
This movie hurt my brain, and I liked it
7 July 2005
I first saw this, along with a lot of people, on NIGHT FLIGHT, on the USA cable network in the late 80s. Around this time (I was 12 or 13) I had become obsessed with really surreal, strange, and grim animated features, now that cable allowed me to see them. FANTASTIC PLANET was easily the strangest thing I'd ever seen. Now, seeing it again 20-some-odd years later, it's still one of the oddest feature-length films I've ever experienced. Now that I'm a little older, the political metaphors are a lot more transparent to me, but I'm still lost about the incredible surreality of the landscape, the repetitive images, and the dreamlike quality of the sparse dialogue. I guess Rene Laloux is just a really weird guy.
Unfortunately, the DVD that I watched has English subtitles on all the time, even when the English-language audio is selected, and the giant discrepancies between the dubbed audio and the subtitles was distracting. Fortunately, though, there's not a whole lot of dialogue in it, which leaves the screen clear for more bizarre and melancholy sights.
This film changed my life when I was younger, and it's even more enjoyable as an adult.
Unfortunately, the DVD that I watched has English subtitles on all the time, even when the English-language audio is selected, and the giant discrepancies between the dubbed audio and the subtitles was distracting. Fortunately, though, there's not a whole lot of dialogue in it, which leaves the screen clear for more bizarre and melancholy sights.
This film changed my life when I was younger, and it's even more enjoyable as an adult.
Fall Time
(1995)
Bad in so many ways (SPOILERS)
1 September 2003
Warning: Spoilers
I saw the last hour or so of this on late-night TV, and so I had the sound turned down pretty far... but even so, the dialogue is mostly muttered or mumbled, and it was nearly impossible to tell any details about what was going on. Having
read the summary, I do believe I got the gist of what it was supposed to be
about. It's got a pretty solid cast, which is why I decided to stay up and see it through - Sheryl Lee, Mickey Roarke, Jason London, David Arquette - surely at least one of these actors should have been on it? Alas, only Mickey Roarke
comes close, and that's because his character has hardly any nuance - he's just the vicious thug at the top of the heap of vicious thugs. And there's just a whole lot of sweaty guys, in close shots with a key light picking them out of a dark background (this happened consistently), wearing filthy wifebeaters and
amusing 50's hick town haircuts. Or maybe that's just Billy Baldwin, but good lord, he sure is sweaty, and his head sure is pointy. There's the whole bondage and violence aspect, which does indeed take on a heavily homoerotic tinge.
The addition of Sheryl Lee, looking bizarrely aged, as a bank employee who is nowhere near as sweet and naive as she seems, strikes me as an afterthought
to make sure that it's not all just sweaty, muscled guys with D.A.'s punching each other around and tying one another up. The pacing is bizarre (by the time the final violent climax happens, I was so de-sensitized to bullets and blood that I hardly recognized it as a climax), the acting is either wooden or way over the top (watching Billy Baldwin, you'd think this was a comedy; watching Jason London, you'd think he'd just come out of dental surgery), and to say that the plot "twists" were predictable would be a redundancy. Oh well, I guess a movie was made,
and a cast and crew got paid; other than that, I see no reason for this to have ever existed.
read the summary, I do believe I got the gist of what it was supposed to be
about. It's got a pretty solid cast, which is why I decided to stay up and see it through - Sheryl Lee, Mickey Roarke, Jason London, David Arquette - surely at least one of these actors should have been on it? Alas, only Mickey Roarke
comes close, and that's because his character has hardly any nuance - he's just the vicious thug at the top of the heap of vicious thugs. And there's just a whole lot of sweaty guys, in close shots with a key light picking them out of a dark background (this happened consistently), wearing filthy wifebeaters and
amusing 50's hick town haircuts. Or maybe that's just Billy Baldwin, but good lord, he sure is sweaty, and his head sure is pointy. There's the whole bondage and violence aspect, which does indeed take on a heavily homoerotic tinge.
The addition of Sheryl Lee, looking bizarrely aged, as a bank employee who is nowhere near as sweet and naive as she seems, strikes me as an afterthought
to make sure that it's not all just sweaty, muscled guys with D.A.'s punching each other around and tying one another up. The pacing is bizarre (by the time the final violent climax happens, I was so de-sensitized to bullets and blood that I hardly recognized it as a climax), the acting is either wooden or way over the top (watching Billy Baldwin, you'd think this was a comedy; watching Jason London, you'd think he'd just come out of dental surgery), and to say that the plot "twists" were predictable would be a redundancy. Oh well, I guess a movie was made,
and a cast and crew got paid; other than that, I see no reason for this to have ever existed.
Moulin Rouge!
(2001)
Absinthe or crack?!
1 June 2001
During the preparations for this movie, Baz Luhrmann allegedly had everyone over to his grand ol' house and they all had a lot of absinthe and sang and got silly. It was a character-building exercise.
Almost every single criticism of this film I've read was valid. It is too much. Every single musical number (and the movie is jam-packed with them) is really, really too long. I love old movie musicals, but doggone it, if you're going to have a 12-minute musical sequence, there'd better be some incredible dancing in the middle of it. If there was incredible dancing in this movie, I didn't notice - I was far too dazzled by the gorgeous, overblown costumes and mind-altering camerawork. It's a melting merry-go-round of ribbons and gilt and glittering jewels, like a superb fever dream in an antique canopy bed hung with velvet drapes...
But....
Nicole Kidman is radiant, of course; she's never looked better (or thinner, which is not really so much to her advantage). She cries so many real tears that half of her screen time is spent with her makeup in a gummy mess on her cheeks. One still wants to kiss it better. Ewan McGregor is full of that puppyish charm that endeared him to me in the first place. I do prefer him as a redhead rather than the oily jet dyejob he sports here, but it works nonetheless. John Leguziamo is, frankly, wasted; Toulouse-Lautrec was an insanely cool guy, and this should have been a great showcase for Leguziamo's amazing brand of physical comedy. Alas, he mainly lisps and swills absinthe and he doesn't even paint anything. Erh? Richard Roxburgh plays the stock baddie in a most stock-baddie way; for the first hour or so, I could have sworn he was Christopher Guest. Oh well, he doesn't have much to work with; I don't think he agonized over his "motivation" when it's so incredibly obvious.
But...
The musical aspect is probably the hardest thing about this movie. While the conceit is very clever - contemporary songs, lots and lots of them, de-contextualized and all swooshed up together in a big pop-culture smoothie - it actually starts to grate after a while.All the same, when I thought I was pretty well sick of the picture, something else really thrilling and funny would happen and I'd be shaking my head and swept back into it again.
On first viewing, I can't say definitively whether or not I actually think the movie is good (I certainly enjoyed it); however, I think the film absolutely demands at least one additional viewing, just to be able to catch all the stuff I only saw out the corner of my eye. I wish Baz Lurhmann had actually just gone ahead and made a stage show out of this instead of making it into a movie, but here's the movie, and it's really out of this world.
Almost every single criticism of this film I've read was valid. It is too much. Every single musical number (and the movie is jam-packed with them) is really, really too long. I love old movie musicals, but doggone it, if you're going to have a 12-minute musical sequence, there'd better be some incredible dancing in the middle of it. If there was incredible dancing in this movie, I didn't notice - I was far too dazzled by the gorgeous, overblown costumes and mind-altering camerawork. It's a melting merry-go-round of ribbons and gilt and glittering jewels, like a superb fever dream in an antique canopy bed hung with velvet drapes...
But....
Nicole Kidman is radiant, of course; she's never looked better (or thinner, which is not really so much to her advantage). She cries so many real tears that half of her screen time is spent with her makeup in a gummy mess on her cheeks. One still wants to kiss it better. Ewan McGregor is full of that puppyish charm that endeared him to me in the first place. I do prefer him as a redhead rather than the oily jet dyejob he sports here, but it works nonetheless. John Leguziamo is, frankly, wasted; Toulouse-Lautrec was an insanely cool guy, and this should have been a great showcase for Leguziamo's amazing brand of physical comedy. Alas, he mainly lisps and swills absinthe and he doesn't even paint anything. Erh? Richard Roxburgh plays the stock baddie in a most stock-baddie way; for the first hour or so, I could have sworn he was Christopher Guest. Oh well, he doesn't have much to work with; I don't think he agonized over his "motivation" when it's so incredibly obvious.
But...
The musical aspect is probably the hardest thing about this movie. While the conceit is very clever - contemporary songs, lots and lots of them, de-contextualized and all swooshed up together in a big pop-culture smoothie - it actually starts to grate after a while.All the same, when I thought I was pretty well sick of the picture, something else really thrilling and funny would happen and I'd be shaking my head and swept back into it again.
On first viewing, I can't say definitively whether or not I actually think the movie is good (I certainly enjoyed it); however, I think the film absolutely demands at least one additional viewing, just to be able to catch all the stuff I only saw out the corner of my eye. I wish Baz Lurhmann had actually just gone ahead and made a stage show out of this instead of making it into a movie, but here's the movie, and it's really out of this world.
Anna and the King
(1999)
beautiful sparkly fluffy romantic fun
9 December 1999
Well, heck, it's got Chow Yun-Fat! Is that not enough? No wait, there's also Jodie Foster (who retains the title of runny-nose emotion queen), and a really tasty woman named Bai Lin and several other Chinese actors who the more HK-literate may recognize. And if you aren't happy enough, there's a really groovy plot that includes political intrigue, sexual mores, spirituality, blowin' up stuff, and the problems with love and loyalty. Combine this with beautiful imagery, shot lovingly by Caleb Deschanel, great period costuming (lots of satin), and adorable Asian children, and you have a recipe for a great film for a date or to bring your slightly older kids to.
the funniest movie of the year by far
12 July 1999
The only thing this movie lacks is subtlety -- and there's even a bit of that here and there. You probably won't see it because you'll be laughing your damn fool head off the whole time.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, like me, were Denver-suburban kids of the 80s who grew up bitter, sarcastic, and addicted to humor in any form whatsoever. "South Park", the show, has has so many brilliant moments that it's easy to overlook how amazing the things they say and do really are.
Also, like me, they hate the Baldwin family, Bill Gates, the military, censorship, and school counsellors; like me, they like Nick Rhodes enough to have him do a line (which doesn't sound like Nick at all -- he's the Canadian bomber pilot who... I won't spoil it). I have to see the movie again just to hear the lines I missed because I and the rest of the audience were laughing too loud. It's as densely packed as an 18-minute TV episode, and if you blink, you'll miss something else hilarious.
One more thing: they realized that all animated films, i.e. "Beavis and Butthead Do America", have to have a White Zombie trip-out hell sequence. I really appreciate that.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, like me, were Denver-suburban kids of the 80s who grew up bitter, sarcastic, and addicted to humor in any form whatsoever. "South Park", the show, has has so many brilliant moments that it's easy to overlook how amazing the things they say and do really are.
Also, like me, they hate the Baldwin family, Bill Gates, the military, censorship, and school counsellors; like me, they like Nick Rhodes enough to have him do a line (which doesn't sound like Nick at all -- he's the Canadian bomber pilot who... I won't spoil it). I have to see the movie again just to hear the lines I missed because I and the rest of the audience were laughing too loud. It's as densely packed as an 18-minute TV episode, and if you blink, you'll miss something else hilarious.
One more thing: they realized that all animated films, i.e. "Beavis and Butthead Do America", have to have a White Zombie trip-out hell sequence. I really appreciate that.
The Puppet Masters
(1994)
Unintentional comedy at its finest
26 April 1999
I can't believe people actually attempted to take this film seriously -- none of the actors involved seemed to! Especially the always dapper Donald Sutherland, who devours lines like "I can fly a helicopter!" with campy relish. If you're a hardcore Heinlein freak, don't bother with "Puppet Masters" -- it'll only break your heart -- but if you're a fan of extremely goofy, preposterous sci-fi nonsense, run out and rent it today, grab a couple of your more cheese-tolerant buddies and a couple of six packs, and settle in for a couple of hours of goo, ACTING!!, clumsily depicted paranoia, and some gut-busting laughs.
In the Realm of the Senses
(1976)
Fantastic erotic cinema -- not for the weak
19 April 1999
Warning: Spoilers
I'd been wanting to see this film for a long time, and I was honestly quite shocked by the explicit nature of the film -- it's sex, sex, and more sex. However, that's not all there is. This is a stylized re-telling of a true story of a disastrous, obsessive love relationship that culminated in the murder and mutilation of one of the partners. It explores the concept of sexual obsession as an expression of love far more fully and interestingly than any American film I've ever seen, and certainly is far more interesting than your usual modern X-rated flick. The actors, lighting, composition, etc. are all superb.
Smashing Time
(1967)
Great satire on 1960's London youth culture!
10 March 1999
I can't believe Leonard Maltin dissed this picture -- it's a rare gem of trippy brilliance, influential as hell on arbiters of style like "Absolutely Fabulous" and the "Austin Power" series. Lynn Redgrave (!), fresh out of "Georgy Girl", bumbles through looking like a great big blonde lovable cow in a succession of astonishing wigs, while her costar Rita Tushingham (!!) veers back and forth from frumpy/frowny to slapstick/mime to The Face of the 60's. The humor is broad and scatological, but cutting when its satire -- sample song lyric: "I can't sing, but I'm young!!" If you can find it, grab it.
Hardware Wars
(1978)
An absolute must for any SW fan.
10 December 1998
Auggie Ben Doggie? Chewbacca as Cookie Monster, gnawing on the Princess' cinnamon-roll hairdo? Yes, all this and a flying toaster in "Hardware Wars", one of those rare gems they used to play between films on HBO in the early 80's. All the same, it's not as funny as "Pork Lips Now", an "Apocalypse Now" parody by the same team, which can be seen on the same tape if you go rent this at the video store. This kind of half-baked 70's lo-tech humour is sadly missed.....
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