cheshire551225800 Reviews

Closer (I) (2004)

Brilliant In Almost Every Way

[10/10 · 6 April 2009]

People are weak and those that seem weakest might in fact be the strongest, you can't tell until the end.

In most American movies we are used to seeing strong characters that fall into certain simple categories, as if we are too stupid to understand that people on film can be like people in real life. Villains have to be wholly bad and heroes have to be flawed just enough to make them "likable" but still they are good through and through.

These people are more like people in real life. They are perhaps good at their jobs but otherwise weak, they change their mind, they mess with each other's heads, they say they love one person and they have sex with each other anyway or with a hooker and say it didn't mean anything (maybe it didn't). They love one person and want to be with them until they prove to be too demanding or needy then they turn or return to someone else who wants them.

Some characters fail when given a chance for greatness (Law's writer) and some have no career ambition and just want to live their life (Portman). The interplay between these people is riveting and the whole thing seems almost live, like watching a play.

I recommend this movie highly just for the interplay between the characters, which is really all this movie is about. There are no heroes or villains, just people.

The Gravedancers (2006)

Fairly Entertaining Cheesy Horror Crap

[5/10 · 6 April 2009]

I wouldn't pay to see this movie, but I watched it on TV. By the way I loved the comment someone made here that only blonde women tend to live in horror movies even when the dark haired girls are smarter or something. There is apparently a Nazi plot, hey that would make a good horror movie.

The acting was O.K. and they had a better cast than I would have thought for your basic cheesy horror crap movie like this one. I guess Kramer and Keryio (or however you spell it) needed the work, but hey that is o.k. too. A lot of good actors have done their fair share of crap when their star fell a bit (Sean Connery did the horrifically bad "Highlander II" and HE has an Oscar). Don't forget Keryio was in the original Luc Besson film "La Femme Nikita".

Really Truly terrifying movies are few and far between so I don't expect much just some halfway decent entertainment and anyway this one is better than stinkers like "Unrest" where they get wrong which continent the evil Aztecs were supposed to live on or "Darkness Falls" with the Evil Tooth Fairy villainess.

Someone here thought it was crazy that the "bad" people would be buried together in one part of the cemetery, but, historically Catholic/Church of England cemeteries often excluded those who died outside of a state of grace to be buried on holy ground so I guess I don't have a problem with the concept of "undesirables" being buried together in a special non-blessed part of the cemetery. Concepts like those are hard for our modern sense of fair-play to understand but I believe suicides are still buried in a special non-sanctified part of some cemeteries.

If people are going to object to something in a movie, perhaps they should know their history before doing so, in this case, the writer was correct. Anyhoo, not horrible, but just the same I wouldn't pay to see this.

Anaconda (1997)

A Breakthrough Film for Me in One Important Sense

[7/10 · 6 April 2009]

Okay, so this is just your usual formulaic pretty young people in danger in a remote location film right? Wrong. There is one amazing difference in this film that just rocked my whole world momentarily.

I watched this movie and I had this sense that something was different and I couldn't figure out what it was. There were attractive young people, there was danger, there was the slutty chick and the stoner dude, there was the evil crazy villain and there was the bad CGI monster so what was it? It took me days to figure it out, this sense that something was different here.

Then I figured it out while grocery shopping a couple of days later! This was the first mainstream Hollywood Movie in which the capable heroic people who live and help each other and others survive were people of color and the stupid, evil, ineffectual, slutty, drug using people were white.

I'm white and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had never seen that dynamic before in a main stream film at that time or earlier. It bothers me that I knew something was "off" about the movie and it was that people of color were portrayed as the smart capable people while the whites weren't. Wow. I gained a new respect for the reality of the inherent racism in our society that day.

If you think I am wrong then read a lot of the comments here. People can't figure out why the "HERO" is unconscious for most of the film. People jeez, Eric Stoltz' character is NOT THE HERO. ICE CUBE IS THE HERO, but we are knee-jerk assuming the hero has to be the WHITE guy right? He is unconscious but he is still the hero? No, Jennifer Lopez is the heroine and Ice cube is the hero. The hero doesn't have to be white or the boyfriend, he can be black and just a friend.

Unrest (I) (2006)

Decent Low Budget Crap-Fest

[4/10 · 20 March 2009]

First of all I have to get out of the way my serious objection to the way in which apparently everybody involved in this film doesn't have any idea of where Aztecs lived. Aztecs lived in Mexico primarily around what is now Mexico City. Mayans lived in Mexico and countries farther south in the area of the Yucatan Peninsula, Incans live in the Andes and yes that would have at least been the right continent (South America), but Aztecs in Brazil???? Were they stupid Aztecs who got lost? Can you say that everybody involved with this film is either stupid or criminally insensitive to those cultures? And people wonder why we in the United States are considered dumb by many others around the world? If you can get past that, it is a decent low budget movie. The actors tried hard and the female lead was perky and you hoped she wouldn't get dead in a horrible way as most of the guys did. I thought that her boyfriend portrayed a Christian male as something more than a right wing nutter and that was a bit refreshing.

I think that basic anatomy and physiology is necessary to medicine and therefore I think some of the comments about how they shouldn't have been cutting up dead people was a bit.....well medieval. I know I want a doctor that I go to see to have a thorough grounding in those subjects. And the swimming around in tanks of dead people was gross as well as improbable without serious respiratory and protective gear, but hey these people didn't even know where Aztecs lived so why should they get that correct? Note to the film-makers - check your facts next time and go for some type of intelligence or reality. I wouldn't pay for this but if it comes on TV latenight, it is a decent cheesy way to pass a little time.

Orpheus (1950)

A Stunning Classic - An Often Forgotten Must See

[10/10 · 20 March 2009]

Very few films can hold up after nearly 60 years. Yes, in America here we have The Wizard of Oz and Gone With the Wind (big budget epics) etc. but this film should get some mainstream TV viewing as well, although it won't. American viewers don't like subtitles, at least PBS should show it.

I've watched some of the classics like "M", "From The Earth to the Moon", "Metropolis" etc. and for the most part they don't hold up. Metropolis does, but that is because of the crazy cool visuals. Jean Cocteau's Beauty and the Beast and Orpheus both hold up very well.

They are both so beautiful and magical that you don't care if they are old or done with outdated technology. Cocteau was a genius of the first order and his art still stands the test of time. To watch a movie like Orpheus and stll be shocked at what happens is a testament to his ability to go for the strange, especially from someone like me who has seen plenty of jaded movies which were meant to be shocking but were merely outre'.

See Orpheus (and rent Beauty and the Beast while you are at it) and have a Cocteau Fest, you won't reget it.

Love's Labour's Lost (2000)

Lesser Piece of Branagh's Shakespearian Work

[4/10 · 20 March 2009]

I think this is one of the weakest of the Kenneth Branagh Shakespearian works. After such great efforts as Much Ado About Nothing, etc. I thought this was poor. The cast was weaker (Alicia Silverstone, Nivoli, McElhone???) but my biggest gripe was that they messed with the Bard's work and cut out some of the play to put in the musical/dance sequences.

You just don't do Shakespeare and then mess with the play. Sorry, but that is just wrong. I love some Cole Porter just like the next person, but jeez, don't mess with the Shakespeare. Skip this and watch "Prospero's Books" if you want to see a brilliant Shakespearean adaptation of the Tempest.

Prospero's Books (1991)

Brilliant - A Must See

[10/10 · 20 March 2009]

This movie was so astonishingly brilliant I had a hard time watching it the first time. I was literally shocked. It is not for the kids and I wouldn't necessarily let the teenagers watch it either, but for adults it is the best adaptation of a Shakespearean work I have ever seen. If you are offended by nudity and human biologic functions, I would skip this one.

Others may mess with the Bard but this one elevates him. I do not generally approve of adaptations of classic literature, but this one goes off on a tangent based on the Tempest and you are glad that you went along for this incredibly strange trip.

I heartily recommend this movie to adults as it is visually stunning and an art film experience you don't want to miss.

The Whole Wide World (1996)

A Great Under-Appreciated Art Film

[9/10 · 20 March 2009]

I think that this is a great love story that never happened. But I am not sure that it is about a great love between Novalynne and Bob Howard, in fact I think it is about a great love between Bob and his Mom that could never come to fruition due to their blood relationship.

He was so tied to his Mom that he could never really be released from that relationship to form a real adult relationship with a woman his own age. I think it is very telling that he took the irrevocable step that he did upon her death.

If you have read the "Conan the Barbarian books" then you can't help but be interested in the guy who thought up all that macho he-man stuff and wrote it in excellent true pulp fiction style. The truth about him is far more tragic and interesting than I would have thought before seeing this movie. I recommend it not only for the wonderful period detail (despite a few glitches) but because it is a real story about real flawed people.

V for Vendetta (2005)

Great Movie & a Timely Indictment of the corruption of the time

[9/10 · 3 March 2009]

Very few people would have the courage during the midst of the corrupt George W. Bush years to openly criticize his regime, even satirically.

But fortunately some movie-makers are also artists who took that risk to make a film openly condemning of right wing nut job leaders and their corruption.

This movie will stand the test of time as a testament to the power of resistance to intolerance. Some might not like it as it is not lighthearted entertainment about fashion or making the score in some sport, but for real movie lovers this is the kind of movie that elevates the art form.

I read the graphic novel and the movie is better. Some aspects of it's British author's condemnation of the Margaret Thatcher years and the technology of that time was updated to fit a more modern setting. The character of Evie was also updated a bit.

Psych: An Evening with Mr. Yang (2009) Season 3, Episode 16

They got half of the right/wrong person!!

[7/10 · 2 March 2009]

I watch psych for the references to the 80s, I mean come on, they made references to "High Road to China" and "Vibes", what is not to love? At first the character of Shawn made me want to smack him around, but he grew on me (while on Monk, I want to smack HIM around more, he is so annoying).

But if anybody missed that the Profiler, Mary, is also half of the serial killer duo Mr. Yin/Yang, they are just not paying attention. I am sure we will see him again when he writes a book about the case and Shawn DOES write the forward. Yin/Yang implies duality so I am sure Mary and Ally Sheedy are twins. Then we will no doubt get references to all the twins moves (let's see there will be Schwarzeneggar/DeVito, doublemint references, that obscure movie with Victoria Tennant, Kevin Spacey and Joan Severence on Wiseguys) etc.

I loved Ally Sheedy showing up!!!! How 80s is that? Judd Nelson can probably take some time away from his busy schedule making straight to cable sci-fi schlock-fest movies too! I like Cybil Sheppard as his mom (remember Moonlighting?) and Justine Bateman, yikes! I didn't even recognize her.

The Cell (2000)

People Love it or Hate it - But it will stand up over time

[9/10 · 2 March 2009]

A lot of people love or hate this film. If you have a weak stomach or can't like a movie without everything spelled out very easily for you, then skip this one.

Vincent D'Onofrio is amazing as the Serial Killer. He shows that there can be humanity in a sick sick person. I can see why he would be drawn to this challenging role.

Jennifer Lopez was good. Her job was mostly to seem highly empathetic which she did well in her role as a children's social worker. Many people here don't seem to know that social workers are also often trained and licensed in counseling. I did not find it odd that her character would keep Carl's dog, Valentine. She would remember Carl how he was as a child, trying to survive and sacrificing himself for her good.

Vince Vaughan seemed decent and haunted by his past as a horribly abused child himself. If he hadn't seemed such a decent man, the plot wouldn't have worked and I like to see him doing a role other than the smart-ass shallow guy as he has done recently.

I find this movie life affirming in many ways, not anti-life. It shows that horribly abused children can grow up to be protectors (Vaughan) not just serial killers. It shows that someone with an organic mental illness (like the serial killer) might have been a good person if his father hadn't been such a horrible abuser and that there is still good in most people.

Other than that, it is all about the visuals. Tarsem Singh kicks all kinds of butt with the visuals. I am waiting to get my hands on his more recent Movie "The Fall" which I also hear is visually stunning.

You can love or hate this movie, but, I believe this is a film that will stand up over time like Metropolis.

Stay Alive (2006)

Kinda Crappy

[5/10 · 2 March 2009]

Various people who used to be on TV shows that were popular do a horror movie. The concept is kinda stupid since Countess Elizabeth Bathory was a real person who lived in Europe not Louisiana. It was rather off-putting if you knew that already.

Anyway, you know those nerd people who wish horror movies were real? Well, this is for those nerd people who wish video games could be real. I enjoyed that most of them got dead, which is what I imagine would happen to most people if horror movies or Video games were somehow made real.

I thought the fake blonde chick would die not the smarter dark haired goth chick, oh well. Frankie whats his name from Malcolm in the Middle was kind of wasted and I knew he wasn't really dead, he was hiding under roses derrrrrrrrrrr!! Oh well, at least I didn't pay to see this, it was on basic cable.

Darkness Falls (2003)

Cheesy Horror Crap - But Entertaining

[6/10 · 25 February 2009]

This is one of those movies - you know the ones, they have one person who used to be on a hit TV show that ended and everybody else is unknown. But as far as those types of movies go - this one isn't that bad. Although the basic premise makes me laugh my butt off even now - are you ready? Yes, it is the EVIL TOOTH FAIRY!!! My god, did they run out of evil Incan gods or bad Druid priests? What's next - the evil Easter Bunny? Still, the actors go for it and you have to appreciate their effort to seem scared.

It is bad in a good way and I enjoy a cheesy sci-fi/horror movie. Nothing new or shocking, it follows the formula. Emma Caulfield is adequate with not much to work with as is the rest of the cast. Still, if it comes on TV, I will watch it and giggle during the commercial breaks - Evil Tooth Fairy - oh my god!

Vibes (1988)

A Great B Movie - Under-appreciated

[7/10 · 25 February 2009]

Not all movies are Citizen Kane. They can't all be Schindler's List. Some of them are just good little entertainment pieces of silliness. This is one of those movies.

Lauper is Sylvia and Goldblum is Nick, they are both psychics. He is a highly educated museum curator and she is a wrong side of the tracks wanna be hairdresser looking for Mr. Okay and always finding Mr. Wrong.

They meet when they are being tested for a study on para-psychology and get involved in a mystery by Peter Falk's character. But it turns out that Falk's Harry is a shady guy at best and is actually just looking for Incan treasure. But so, as it turns out is just about everybody else they know.

It is silly and doesn't try to be anything else. There are some great one liners overall (What do we do now? Have a Psych-Off?) and if you are a movie lover and not a stuck-up Cinephile, then you might enjoy this lighthearted and fun movie.

Cloverfield (2008)

Very Good and Actually Shocking

[8/10 · 25 February 2009]

I rented this on DVD, but I wish I had seen it on the big screen. I thought that the ruse of seeing it as if it had been filmed by people actually in the situation was effective, although there are those who decry it as a "Blair Witch" rip-off technique.

In our Youtube & reality show obsessed world, I don't find it strange at all that someone would want to try to document events so strange. I think it would be a natural impulse to a 20 or 30 something individual and a natural way to try to feel like they had some kind of control over an out of control situation. Or maybe just for the $$$ or fame from being the one who got such footage.

This movie isn't supposed to be analyzed, it is supposed to be experienced as if you were there. That is why the dialogue is as banal at times as it is. How thought-out and snappy do you think conversation is during a natural disaster/terrorist attack etc.????? People do things that seem strange, hmmmm ever heard of victims of large scale events being in a kind of state of shock?

If you need everything spelled out for you, you won't like this movie. They tell why it is named Cloverfield in the opening scenes. If you missed it, you need to try more movies that aren't so formulaic.

Some of the reasons people are posting for not liking this movie are soooo funny. Like someone said it wasn't "realistic" because the character of Lily would never wear those shoes. Um, okay, hello? It was supposed to be an unforeseen disaster situation, was she supposed to know that ahead of time? Do you think anybody caught in 9-11 wore shoes not conducive to fleeing the scene??????

I cared about the characters and I was glad that they didn't go to the easy ending of letting everybody live. I was disappointed that they did go for the "money shot" of clover at the end. It would have been more effective to have only seen parts of clover and try to put it together in your head.

I found the wry comments of Hud throughout to be pretty funny in such a dire situation. I definitely recommend the move, but not if you have a queasy stomach in general, need meds to ride in a boat, or are easily frustrated by a movie where you don't have someone to tell you what is going on every second.

Time Trackers (1989)

This Movie is Sooooo Bad - I Liked It!

[6/10 · 22 February 2009]

This is a really bad cheesy movie but it was made with some heart and I liked it. It hasn't got the best production values and the story is predictable, but still I liked it.

Weird, but true. I think that some of the actors really tried to make something of this fairly bad move, most notably Alex Hyde-White and Kathleen Beller. Ned Beatty knew he was the comic relief and did what he could with the role.

Kathleen Beller wasn't having much luck getting out of her "Sword and the Sorcerer" type casting but she gamely took it seriously and tried to make it better.

Maybe the true test of an actor is not what they do with great material but what they do when they are in some real piece of crap, do they keep on trying to raise the material as far as possible?

The Last Seduction II (1999)

Still Nasty & Noir - But Not the Original

[7/10 · 22 February 2009]

If this was named something else, there wouldn't be all the outpouring of negativity. This is never going to be as good as the brilliant original.

However, it is still a nasty bit of femme fatale noir and thus enjoyable on it's own. The plot is a bit weak in that supposedly Mike from the first movie has a birth father who is some hugely rich tycoon and he is willing to pay any amount of money to get Bridgit to recant that Mike killed her husband and raped her. He is willing to pay the mysterious "Murphy" to illegally find her, drug her and get her back to New York.

Bridgit, as usual blows town when the going gets too hot and flees to Spain. She arrives, looks around for someone to have sex with, meets a nasty guy (well he thinks he is - he is actually quite a pawn because he totally underestimates a beautiful woman and how far she is willing to go to get some money, her way, revenge, or just to screw with him because she is bored).

Murphy turns out to be a nasty ruthless woman herself and Bridgit finally gets an almost worthy opponent, however, once again she proves she is willing to go to any length to get her way. Even Murphy reveals that she was shocked at what level of amorality and violence she will use to her purposes.

Stop whining that this isn't the original and enjoy it for what it is. People can like the Hannibal Lecter character because he is amoral, but if a female does it they are shocked and appalled? Please!

84 Charing Cross Road (1987)

Wonderful Period Piece about Kind, Literate, Intelligent People

[10/10 · 22 February 2009]

All the characters in this novel are intelligent and kind. Most of them are very well read and share their lives via the now charming notion of cross Atlantic letters. This movie got the feel of the book down very very well.

You learn a lot more about Helene Hanff if you read the book and the sequel. Also it has come to light that all during this period Helene was having a decades long affair with a very married and super famous American male who she refused to name, although those close to her know who he is and hint about it as she did sometimes. She became very close to Mr. Marx's son who is also a writer and he states that he might reveal who it was someday.

So to look at Helene as some innocent woman with no sexual satisfaction or too many morals to have a long term affair with a married man is nonsense, although she did have the apparently now gone discretion to be able to keep her private life just that....private.

I look up to Helene Hanff as a woman who lived her life single, free and doing what she wanted.

Cold Comfort Farm (1995 TV Movie)

One of My Favorite Movies

[10/10 · 22 February 2009]

This is Kate Beckinsale back when she acted instead of did action movies for big bucks. Although I wish they hadn't left out some of the characters and changed some things around from the original book, this movie kept the whacky spirit of Stella Gibbon's novel.

For instance, in the novel there were a host of other Starkadders being mistreated by Aunt Ada Doom who Flora helps, Rinnit marries the author Mr. Mybug (Myerburg!) played by Stephen Frye, not Ruben, and the farm isn't actually in bad shape. Ruben has been cooking the books he shows to Aunt Ada so that he can use the money to improve the farm.

I have only been able to get my hands on one of the two sequel novels that Stella Gibbons wrote about these same characters, Conference at Cold Comfort Farm and it is not quite as good. But you do get to find out what happened to some of the characters after WWII. Someday I hope to get a copy of Christmas at cold comfort farm to read.

Whacky good fun and I like the message that people should follow their own dream (even nutjob religious maniac Cousin Amos, brilliantly played by Sir Ian McKellan) rather than be a slave to a tyrant. It is unrealistic that Aunt Ada can be redeemed so easily but I like the way she was played, as having an epiphany when the American film Czar Mr. Neck asks her if the nasty thing in the woodshed saw her.

Excellent movie all around.

Grease 2 (1982)

Horribly Good, in a Bad Way - NO a good way- No Bad!

[7/10 · 22 February 2009]

I don't like Grease the original. I think that the message that to get your man you need to become a bimbo-slut (as Sandy did) and that if you take charge of your own sexuality like Rizzo did that you deserve to be treated like crap are all bad messages for girls.

At least Stephanie started out as a bit of a bad girl who knew what she wanted. The overtly sexual girl (Played by Lorna Luft, the OTHER daughter of Movie icon Judy Garland) is viewed kindly and it shows the period well. The songs are kind of stupid but so are most of the songs in all musicals. You are watching a movie and all of a sudden everybody breaks into song and dance, Okay. I don't care if it is Rent or West Side Story, it is kinda weird, but fun.

This movie is campy good fun that doesn't take itself too seriously. The opening musical number is funny and well produced. Most of the cast went on to decent careers (well at least they got plenty of work).

Get over your Grease I fixations and enjoy some campy cheesy fun.

Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)

Creepy and Deserving of More Viewership

[8/10 · 21 February 2009]

Taking Snow White out of the Sanitized Disney Version and showing it more as the Brothers Grimm originally had it makes this a shock for most viewers.

This is a very good ensemble cast with reliably fine actors like Sam Neill, Sigourney Weaver, Gil Bellows etc. I had already seen Monica Keena as a high school rape victim on Law and Order and knew she could act as well as another episode with Gil Bellows (along with a very young Phillip Seymour Hoffman) as a gang rapist. Everybody any good turns up on some incarnation of Law and Order eventually and often when they are just starting out.

Although there are supernatural elements I like the way they showed the evil stepmother as basically mentally ill and perhaps manipulated by something evil living in her mirror. Her misguided maternal instincts gives her motivation to sink to any depth of depravity.

While good still saves the day for most of the main characters it is a far creepier and yet realistic journey to get there. I own this on DVD and watch is occasionally. It holds up over time as a more than fractured fairy tale.

The Lookout (2007)

A Bit Disappointing After The Rave Reviews I Had Heard

[5/10 · 21 February 2009]

While it is refreshing to see a movie where the main characters are disabled in some way, I found the two main characters, Chris and Lewis to be less appealing than expected.

Chris is injured because he was criminally stupid. He recklessly drove a car with others in it begging him not to put them in danger, and he did anyway. He got 2 people killed and 1 maimed besides himself. Someone later asks him if he did any time for this crime (he didn't). Lewis was a Meth cooker who blinded himself through lack of knowledge of the dangers of meth fumes.

One wonders if they would have ever been decent people if they HADN'T been injured. So their injury was in a way their salvation. This theme is set at the beginning when Gugino's character basically states that after her head injury (she was a model) she finally figured out that there were other people in the world who might matter other than herself. Lewis, who has been disabled the longest is now a really great supportive person.

So the theme of redemption through forced inability to live as they had is interesting but a bit harsh. Should we maim or blind people who are selfish and criminal so they will be forced to be better people? At least this film is different than your average heist thriller and the guy who plays Gary (he was in Woody Allen's Match Point as well) was great. Isla Fischer is kind of wasted and any bit of fluff could have done the job although she did the best she could with the part, showing some sort of dimwitted bimbo conscience in the end, although she didn't act on it and basically just ran away and saved herself.

It is nice to see Alberta Watson (mainly known as the Machiavellian Madeleine from the TV show La Femme Nikita) getting some well deserved work. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Jeff Daniels were great as usual, but if you want to see a really great Joseph Gordon-Levitt film, then skip this and go for "Brick".

Dark City (1998)

Brilliant In Almost Every Way

[10/10 · 21 February 2009]

Although the main character is Johnny as played by Rufus Sewell (why is it that Brits can do American accents so much better than Americans can usually do British accents?) the real focus for me is Richard O'Brien.

If we are supposed to feel the pathos of beings who don't understand their place in the universe then I find that more in O'Brien's performance than in Sewell's. Sewel's Johnny is a bit too innocent and well gosh darn motivated (a real can-do, let's fix it all up guy) for that. Kiefer Sutherland is great and Hurt and Connelly are a bit wasted in small but vital parts.

I think personally that the reason why great actors like Hurt and Connelly would do small parts in this movie is that the film is original and intelligently written. Something that most actors I've seen interviewed state is practically non-existent in Hollywood.

I own this movie and revisit it occasionally. It holds up over time and still plays as fresh and original. Think of it as what Riff Raff did after he blasted back to Transsexual Transylvania if you must, but watch it and enjoy.

Elizabeth (1998)

Appalling Historic Inaccuracy

[3/10 · 21 February 2009]

This film looks great and the cast is wonderful. Cate Blanchett even looks like Elizabeth I, but if you know even the most rudimentary history of the time, the glaring inaccuracy makes you want to puke.

This is the kind of film that if you try to watch it instead of read the book and then pass a history test, you are going to fail big time.

Skip this and rent the Six part BBC miniseries "Elizabeth R" starring the wonderful Glenda Jackson.

Robin Dudley was an egotistical striver with a lot of political ambition but he would never betray Elizabeth I (well if you leave out taking a governorship without her consent and marrying without her consent, minor squabbles). And don't even get me started about Rush's performance as Walsingham. Oh my God, He was a PURITAN and they portray him as some bright colored clothes wearing bi-sexual bon vivant!! The real Walsingham would barely crack a smile for fear of offending God with his frivolity.

Just stay away from this stinker unless you want some pretty people prancing about with no resemblance to the well documented facts of her reign.

From Hell (2001)

Not As Good As I Thought It Would Be

[6/10 · 21 February 2009]

If I hadn't read large quantities of Anne Perry's books (Pitt & Monk Mysteries) set in this time period, I might have found the blatant class discrimination in the investigation of the Ripper Case appalling. Also, she has exposed the warfare between the Monarchists/Masons and everybody else who wanted change.

If she hadn't already exposed the class discrimination that led decent women to have no choice to stay alive but to prostitute themselves and their horrific treatment in general let alone at the hands of the Ripper, I might also have found this shocking.

But the addition of Johnny Depp's psychic detective was wasted which is way too bad because he is generally better than this. Robbie Coltrane was wasted too and the substitution of Shakespearian quotes for his dialogue just got annoying after awhile.

This confused retelling of the theory that one of the Royal Sons of Queen Victoria was the ripper or the cover up blah blah mixed with the supposed secret Catholic marriage (which I was under the impression was the rumour about George IV when he was still the Prince of Wales and Maria Fitzherbert during the Regency period) doesn't make any sense.

To make matters weirder they say that the Prince used the name Albert Sickert and the disguise of being a painter which is a nod to the alternate major ripper theory that the ripper was Walter Sickert, an established painter and amateur thespian with a mutilated penis from a childhood botched surgery and a major grudge against women who represented sexuality (hookers) because he couldn't actually have sex.

Heather Graham did a better job with the accent than I thought she would although when she went home to Ireland you would think she would let her Irish accent come out rather than stick to cockney.

This movie might be considered a needed dose of historically accurate social class prejudice revelation for those who didn't already know (which includes most Americans) but if I want me some real Depp action I will just watch Johnny in the brilliant "Ninth Gate" again.