Smart-but-ineffectual journalist Dan "We use euphemisms!" cannot decide between his girlfriend, loving-but-clingy waitress Alice, or his lover cold-but-intellectual photographer Anna; herself indecisive between Dan and honest-but-thuggish "You're bloody gorgeous!" doctor Larry. The film, as Tarantino might put it, puts the four leading characters in a box and strips them apart. Written by
Take four unsympathetic characters and slam them into one other in a series of contrived meetings. Then hop forward a few months at a time to some equally contrived decision points in their relationships. And at each stage make sure that they make absolutely the most unconvincing and ludicrous decision possible.
This is without doubt the most infuriatingly unbelievable film I have ever seen. I had to suspend my disbelief less for South Park Uncut. Nothing that any of the characters ever say or do is even remotely plausible.
After the first half hour the film becomes risibly predictable because you know that whatever choices the characters are faced with, they will take the most preposterous option. At one point I thought "if Julia Roberts does X now then this is the worst film I've ever seen" ... I clearly wasn't alone as when she did (inevitably) do X, a neighbour stood up and walked out of the theatre.
Oh ... Clive Owen puts in a convincing performance (as the biggest arsehole in a foursome of arseholes). But it's scant consolation for the rest of this nonsense.
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