Access Sanctuary Reviews

Legally Blonde (2001)

This Look Familiar to Anyone? (Possible Spoiler)

[6 July 2002]

Elle Woods, sorority girl extraordinaire, has just been dumped. What, no proposal? Dumped by the man of her dreams, Mr. Prestige (who has an attractively wide tongue). He claims she is too blonde. So, she treks on up to Harvard Law School, where she finds he has passed her up for an old girlfriend, who he also has proposed marriage to. I'm sorry, I was just hallucinating. So, she decides to try and show him, and his snobby girlfriend, up by outsmarting them and becoming an intern to Harvard's most demanding professor. Piece of cake, right?

A promising idea, but the product is somewhat tainted by a lack of purpose. Witherspoon is great in the lead role, but the written material is about as meaningful as a Britney Spears music video. This fore mentioning the horrible music soundtrack (not the score). What attempts to be CLUELESS, more closely resembles a dark gaping void centering a pink border.

As a comedy, it's not very funny. As a story of revenge, the actual story takes back burner to the superficial chick-flick quality of popular film in this new millennium. Here, vengeance is every bit as sweet as a dill pickle (yuck). In short, this movie won't appeal to the demographic it portrays, and that's barely legal in my book.

Pecker (1998)

Oh, Lordy! (Possible Spoiler)

[10/10 · 6 July 2002]

Kid from the slums with a broken down old camera works at a sub shop and takes pictures for a living. Then one day, during a display of his photos at the shop, he is discovered by a big name art dealer in New York who wants to give him his own showing. But the party ends as quickly as it began as Pecker finds that fame and fortune bares a hefty price. His home is robbed, his friends desert him, and worst of all, his girlfriend Shelly won't have anything to do with him. With his inspiration gone, he sees how far his newfound fortune will take him. But can it get him back everything he lost?

Modestly entertaining little movie makes no profound statement on film in general but manages to hold the viewer's attention through a few sexually visceral images and wildly outrageous lines of dialogue. A few ideas seem undeveloped. Great music by Stewart Copeland.

Cannibal! The Musical (1993)

Are You Lookin' at My Eye?!! (Possible Spoiler)

[9/10 · 6 July 2002]

A grisly series of cannibal murders set the stage for the trial of Alferd Packer. The decision is death by hanging. The court is convinced that Mr. Packer is not a man at all, but a flesh eating monster. But they don't know the story. Curiosity rewards an intrigued Polly Pry, as she gets Packer to spill his guts on the story of the doomed journey to find gold in Brekinridge. She shockingly discovers that Packer is completely innocent. But can she prove it, and save Packer from the fate which awaits him on Hanging Day?

Before there was South Park, creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone introduced us to the horror musical to end all horror musicals. Brilliantly hilarious. This movie generates genuine laughs through deliciously tasteless goo, clever satirical barbs and references to sex or television shows. And the shoddily raunchy musicals numbers are actually funny, the best of which obviously being, "Let's Build a Snowman". If you're looking for the perfect Saturday Night movie, this is all you're asking for.

Monkeybone (2001)

Get the Bone Off Me (Possible Spoiler)

[1 July 2002]

Stu suffers from horrible nightmares until he meets the love of his life, Julie. She inspires Stu to express himself through a cartoon creation called, Monkeybone. He creates the Monkeybone character and finds there is interest in launching his creation as a full-blown franchise beginning with his very own cartoon show. It sounds like a good idea at the time but it soon gets far out of hand when Stu is sabotaged while driving by an inflatable Monkeybone and falls deep into a coma. While in his coma, he is transported to DownTown, a big carnival freakshow purgatory limbo where ordinary people wait with monsters to die or be summoned awake from their coma by a Grim Reaper.

Stu waits patiently for three months to awaken but when his sister Kimmy orders the doctors to pull the plug, he is forced to infiltrate Death's Lair and nab himself a much coveted EXIT-pass, which will guarantee his body consciousness regardless of how the pass is acquired. He gets the pass with the help of Monkeybone, who then hijacks the pass and Stu's body. While Monkeybone now lives as Stu, the real Stu rots in the jail of his coma. He must somehow get another pass out of DownTown and fast, before Monkeybone and his employer can mass produce their own nightmare-inducing line of Monkeybone merchandise, and so he can formally propose marriage to Julie.

This film is very rich in visuals. Lots of live and stop animation, costumes and make-up, computer generated special effects, and it all looks great. But it's far too crude in it's presentation to be of much entertainment. And in fact, it's not entertaining at all. It's barely any tamer than COOL WORLD dealing with perversion and overt sexuality. The whole movie is actually like an animated family softcore porn comedy with a zombie running around, spilling his vital organs out over the landscape for a team of greedy surgeons to collect. This being of interest to no one. You'll definitely feel drained of your positive energy by the end, and if that's not classified as zombification, than you'll wish it was.

Freeway (1996)

Life is a Highway and on it, nothing is free (possible Spoiler)

[1 July 2002]

Vanessa is a girl trying to live her life. She tries hard in school, feels concern for her mother, and keeps the relationship with her fiancee strong and supportive. But, she is distrustful of and fed up with the legal system. Her parents are once again hauled off after the cops raid their residence and Vanessa is about to shack up in another foster home. Fat chance. She steals a car and fleas for her Grandma's house after kissing her love goodbye.

Unfortunately, the car breaks down and a stranger offers her a ride. After befriending Vanessa, the stranger turns out to be the notorious "I-5" killer, who she remembers seeing on the news. After a struggle, she is able to shoot him numerous times, steal his money, and get to safety. She is then arrested and charged as an adult with an attempted murder after the killer survives her shower of bullets, though grossly disfigured. Vanessa must prove her innocence or perish in prison.

A great rebel flick in the style of a very grim Little Red Riding Hood, this film delivers the goods. Shocking and very funny. Intelligent despite it's juvenile subject matter, with interesting characters and perfect disposal of the uninteresting ones. It pushes past liberating women, and through an invincible female lead, liberates all characters who are oppressed and alienated by forces that may be weaker than they appear.

The opening credits sequence play like a twisted reminder of the days of RUTHLESS PEOPLE and MANNEQUIN, with excellently demented music by the obscurely eclectic exultant of the film score, Danny Elfman.

Urban Legend (1998)

Check My Pulse, I've Looked Like This For Years (Spoiler)

[7/10 · 22 June 2002]

Some time after she and the killer's first victim are involved in the accidental death of an innocent motorist, college student Natalie finds herself and her friends are being stalked off by a killer who kills their victims in the style of urban legends.

An interesting plot seems to promise more Scream-style fun. The film starts off on the right foot with a terrific opener but as soon as it begins to rely on that same sort of ripped-off, pretentious '90s teeny-bopper dialogue pioneered by Kevin Williamson (who himself had adapted from various other hip-talking films, one of which was without a doubt THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE), the viewer can see just how serious the crew is about this film. Not very much.

Though it often benefits from it's carefree attitude toward fronting itself as a horror film, and there are some great one-liners, and the leading actresses Witt and especially, Gayheart are excellent, the movie falls short of delivering the goods for horror fans. And the majority of supporting characters serve up this hokey dialogue, so I end up rooting for the killer, who doesn't have much common sence which also makes it hard to appreciate the eventual evolution into an immortal Robo-killer.

In conclusion, I like the killer's confession scene. Funny killer. But while the movie is mildly entertaining, it's too hokey and does go overboard a bit on the body count. Hopefully, the sequel will go further in length than this one stayed behind.

Bikini Summer II (1992)

Hey Harry, Time to Work out (Possible Spoilers)

[22 June 2002]

The sweet but rich anti-daddy's girl and her spoiled sister are thrown out of their father's house after squandering a large sum of his money on a big neighborhood block party barbeque. They are then forced to experience what it's like to live like their new homeless friends. But, they shall not be defeated by the cold harshness of the real world. Instead, they soon take a piece of their father's property and turn it into their own friendly bar, without his consent. Daddy's none too happy. Can the girls remind their father of what family values were all about before their lives were taken over by greed and corruption? Or have wealth and power gotten their fingers in Harry too deeply to ever let go?

Of course, the plot isn't quite as dramatic. In fact, this whole film swims in the shallow end and I suggest that movie lovers drown themselves before watching this horrible film.

The cast is for the most part very pleasing to look at, and the kinky S&M foreplay is pretty kinky in compensation for how graphic it fails to be. It's quite easy to blame someone for this. The one to blame is writer/director Jeff Conaway. Though he settles for more dynamic roles than this in acting after Grease (such as Jawbreaker), this pet project goes far awry. So many better films to watch, less time to watch them after watching this.

Mortal Kombat II (1993 Video Game)

This One Will Always Be My Favorite (Abstract Spoilers)

[19 October 2001]

Another tournament with twelve fighters as opposed to seven. Liu Kang, Raiden, Kitana, Shang Tsung, Baraka, Kung Lao, Sub-Zero, Jax, Mileena, Johnny Cage, Scorpion, and Reptile battle in great settings like Kahn's Arena, The Dead Pool, Wasteland, and my favorite, The Portal.

Now the graphics are great, but what's best about this game is definitely the expansion of fatalities and special moves to include different finishers. The Babality move allows you to turn your opponent into a baby (if you're feeling so generous) and the Friendship move allows you to make peace with your opponent by giving them a gift or putting on a talent show for them. Johnny Cage's Friendship remains to be the most arrogant by making an autograph of himself out to his biggest fan. Another excellent highlight is Liu Kang's Animality-Fatality (which would later be introduced in MK3) in which he transforms into a dragon and chomps into his opponent's upper torso.

This was definitely the game where parents started to complain about the violence. What's sad about this series was that even though the complaints got more numerous with future MK's, the gore reached it's graphic peak here for SUPER NES and became much less realistic after this game. Gore-lovers will be well pacified with this release. But (speaking from personal experience) don't show these cool moves to your friend's mother (now this experience took place probably almost 7 years ago, but it's the thought that counts).

Father of the Bride Part II (1995)

This Feels Like SNL in the Maternity Ward

[19 October 2001]

George Banks is probably the least likely character for Sympathy of the Year Award. He has a well-behaved son, a wife who he's still very much in love with, a wonderfully healthy daughter who knows where she's going, and a decent and hard working son-in-law. What is it that spearhead's his journey into mid-life crisis? The twin-occurrence of pregnancies in his wife and daughter.

The question on George's mind isn't: What's it going to be like raising an infant at his age (late '40's)? It's: Can he make it through these two pregnancies? He's put to the test through the big issue of his daughter's job relocation, his wife's mood swings, "false alarms", sleeping pill mishaps, and various antics of the interior decorator who literally drives him up the wall [and barely to the hospital when both his wife and daughter go into labor at (practically) the same time].

Embarrassing at first but always outrageously funny and a little dramatic at it's conclusion. Very entertaining. And Jane Adams is amazing as the doctor who delivers George's baby. And Martin looked horrible in his brown hair. And I recommend this movie if you're mature enough to handle such a heavy dose of amusement added to this topic. And I should go now...

Problem Child (1990)

Just Be Glad He's Not Your Kid (Mini-Spoiler)

[6/10 · 19 October 2001]

Ben and Flo have always wanted a kid. Ah, children. They look so good at parties, don't they? But, when it turns out the couple are infertile, the big "A" word comes up. Yep, adoption. A world of possibilities. And just as luck would have it, the local orphanage has got a reject that would be perfect for two yutzes just like them. The red-haired mini-Satan they affectionately name Junior, turns out to be just that. A mini Satan. Whose hellish pranks drive the couple to desperate lengths. So desperate, the two even pawn the creep off on an escaped serial killer (whom the boy idolizes).

I have to admit, I really enjoyed this movie. Now, I sternly believe that this was made by someone psychotic and disturbed. But, this movie has a lot of surprisingly funny jokes. Plus, the pranks this little bastard pulls actually are shocking and very humorous. Bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, but there's something so right about it.

Jawbreaker (1999)

Bittersweet (There Might Be a Spoiler Here)

[8/10 · 18 October 2001]

I'm not afraid to say at all that I liked this movie a great deal. And it's not just the soundtrack. Great songs by The Friggs, Imperial Teen, and Grand Mal.

I like the fact that it was more intelligent than the average teen movie. A perfect mix of CLUELESS and HEATHERS, all viewers who liked and disliked have noticed that the two were paths simply not meant to be crossed together. When you do, you get a rash of apathetic and devious characters which is a little hard like they would be in real life.

One of the reasons I have always thought this should be considered a horror film is because of it's purpose. This film is meant to take a certain amount of delight in the cruelty humans in different positions impose on one another simply to get ahead of where they are. The setting is High School. Statistically, it's impossible to complete 4 years of High School without being acquainted with someone who would go on to commit suicide. It's that sort of quality that makes High School the perfect place to document cruelty.

Now, this movie may attempt to be cruel and fail in the eyes of critics (those who would say the film is just skilled in keeping the agenda mean and the vision particularly grotesque in it's obsession with beauty which makes it ugly). I think the film not only delivers plenty of great one liners, but also makes acceptable an equal quantity of cruelty and ugliness. But best of all, it does so in such a stylish way.

Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator (1989)

(Spoiler Alert) No Incineration for Stephanie

[6/10 · 18 October 2001]

What a day. Paul is knocked out by two ugly guards in trench coats. He wakes to find himself in the parlor of a strange house/mansion. As he searches the house, he stumbles upon a bland, clueless blonde who knows more about him than he's comfortable with. Then he's summoned to dinner by what is obviously a man in drag. At dinner, Roberta proposes Paul make love to Stephanie while she watches. This is just too much and Paul tries to make an escape. When he returns to the table, he is spooked to see Roberta has vanished (reason enough to be spooked in any TROMA film). Paul and Stephanie formulate a plan and try to escape from Roberta's evil clutches. Just as they think they've gotten away, they both become equally interested in each other and unknowingly Roberta's watching them. They are taken captive once again by Roberta but as it turns out Roberta just wants Paul to make love to her. Paul is not about to 'do' such an ugly 'chick' but as Roberta commands for the murder of Stephanie, she persuades Paul to see things her way. Now that Roberta finally gets what she wants, what happens but she calls out, "I don't have to go through with this do I? You said it would stop here?"

And in response: the panicked Stephanie who is cramped in a maiden (the torture device used in Scotland) suddenly cocks her head back and with a devilish grin replies, "So I did. You can stop now Roberta, darling." Robert takes off his wig and all goes back to normal. So, what is normal you ask? Stephanie is Casey and Paul is Jared. A married, rich couple who engage in eccentric historical 'games' with a kinky and deadly twist, as Casey rehashes in confrontation with her husband. But normal for Casey is not waking in the night to find Robert lurking around in her house, hoping to find some more filthy money. The two come up with their own plan to kill Jared, hide his body, and split his money once he can be declared legally dead. But somebody's playing for keeps, and in this game, everyone loses.

Intriguing and imaginatively written. But, unfortunately the production is poor and the cast is collectively less than motivated. Though I would have to say M. R. Murphy did turn in a stunningly captivating performance as the drag-queen, Roberta. Best scene in the movie (got me and my friends cracking up so hard): the close-up shot of Roberta at the table as he says, "Yes, my pet. I like to watch," in a very squeaky and creepy tone.

I recommend this movie because it's very much unlike TROMA's gross-out flicks and because it's pretty good in it's so-bad kind of way. The '80's doesn't get any cheesier than this! 'Gag me with a spoon'.

The Shining (1980)

Maybe We're All Really Snowplows

[4/10 · 8 September 2001]

Jack is an aspiring writer who takes a job as a winter caretaker for a huge, historic hotel, bringing along his wife and son for some peace and quiet. As he starts to learn more about the hotel, he discovers that the former caretaker killed himself and his family after going crazy due to the intense seclusion. But, he is yet to be discouraged from taking the job. The little family treks up to the hotel and the father immediately begins losing his mind.

To make the long story short: wife discovers husband has been writing about his decent into madness, husband gets violently hostile and tries to kill his family. Starts off pretty well, but it has far too many flaws to be anything special. First of all, Nicholson plays intense to it's hilt during his introductory scenes so it's impossible to tell at what point he actually goes insane. Second, this was not tailored for Stephen King fans. From watching this, you can tell this was made strictly for fans of Kubrick. The two styles clash and this film is unlike most of King's films because of the mind games Kubrick is always playing with the viewer. Third, it's overlong and doesn't make good use out of the time it has. Except for the opening credits, this film is perfectly skip-able.

Psycho (1960)

I'd Kill That Fly If I Were You (No Spoiler, the Killer is Revealed Early in the Film)

[6/10 · 8 September 2001]

The plot is simple, Marion Crane steals a large sum of money from a client for the bank she works at. She fleas from her unsatisfying job with a cop on her tail, trades in her car, and ends up at the wrong place at the wrong time. The Bates Motel, where 12 cabins are 12 vacancies, owner and operator of the motel (the infamous character Norman Bates) dresses up like his dead mother and slices Marion up in the shower. The whole situation gets quite messy as Norman is investigated by a private detective and suspected of killing Marion for the large sum of money he didn't know she had.

Okay, sure this movie is a huge critical and box-office success. Sure, it's compared to every single other movie in the slasher genre. Sure, it's even responsible for creating the sub-genre as a whole. But, in my opinion, this movie is too long and actually boring as it slowly draws toward it's conclusion. And when you think about it, performance-wise Anthony Perkins is incredible but the rest of the cast is only satisfactory. What does this movie have that really makes it different from other thrillers of the time?

Undressed (1999–2002)

Don't be fooled, this show is not just for perverts (SPOILERS)

[9 August 2001]

UNDRESSED. One of biggest surprises to come from MTV. A hybrid of soap-opera and sit-com, the show chronicles patterns of support and neglect in the relationships of late teens and early 20-somethings as they discover love and sex, and often accept responsibility for their mistakes.

Showcasing a variety of issues involving sex and dating: sexual attraction, sexual intercourse, racial relations, sexually-transmitted diseases, homosexuality, lesbianism, masturbation, promiscuity, pregnancy, pornography, sexual discrimination, copulation, prophylactic, marriage, and abstinence (to name a few).

There is a great deal of humor to be found in the situations portrayed nightly on the show. For example, a couple is enjoying sex but run into an issue when they realize their sexual activity might be holding them back from communicating with each other. For fear that when they one day cannot enjoy sex, they won't enjoy each other's company... the couple breaks up (following a sordid affair involving a leather-clad exhibitionist babysitter cracking a whip).

Or, a gay couple where one partner is concerned his lover might be fantasizing about women (only after he stumbles upon a stash of straight pornographic magazines). As he discovers his lover was only lusting after a former boyfriend who appeared in the magazines, his concerns shift to his lover's feelings on the boyfriend. Well, the lover puts his past with his old boyfriend behind him only to find out that his partner, who coerced him into being proud of his sexuality, had neglected to inform his older brother that he was gay. BAM! Bro shows up for a visit and brings along an attractive friend. We discover that the older brother is gay as well and that his friend is really his boyfriend. The two boyfriends then hook-up and form a plan to force the brothers into exposing their true sexuality by getting too friendly and attempting to make the brothers jealous of each other. After a lot of kiss-and-tell pairing, the two brothers confront each other and bury the odds.

Terminally trashed by porn-loving perverts over the net for not showing any sexual activity, this show an often exciting and outrageously hilarious romp through the battlefields of love and playgrounds of sex.

Jackass (2000–2007)

A Different Outlook on the Beloved MTV Show

[7 July 2001]

In the grand tradition of idiocy such as BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD, some people need to be warned as to the content featured on the show. But, Mtv's JACKASS is a different kind of show. No storylines, no actors, no sets, you know... none of that. Instead, you have an amazingly simple plot: young people performing daring and grotesque stunts in order to shock viewers. And they'll try anything to freak you out, make you sick, and have you laughing as hard as you can.

Here's where the different outlook comes in. As unbelievable as what these people on the show seem to be doing, anyone can be stupid. These JACKASSes aren't shocking - they're just plain moronic. Their antics rarely have me rolling in the aisles (spare 1 exception: testing the athletic supporter). Their humor is only based on how outrageous a thing they are doing. But, what if they can't think of anything else crazy to do? What happens when they can't top the dumb things they used to do? That's when the show goes off the air, right? One can only hope.

Satan's School for Girls (1973 TV Movie)

Red - Scare

[5/10 · 7 July 2001]

A young woman drives frantically down a deserted road, terrified for her life. She flees to her sister's home and barricades herself inside. Someone breaks in, and she screams wildly. But, when her sister returns home to find the cops breaking down her door, she discovers her sister has committed suicide. She knows her sister, better than anyone else, and she knows that she wasn't the type to kill herself. So, she decides to investigate. Spooked by the frightened reactions of an ex-roommate, she enrolls in her sister's former academy under a fake name. Determined to uncover what happened to her sister, she instead falls into a dark plot of evil as she finds that where she's enrolled is Satan's School for Girls.

A refreshingly entertaining film (even for TV), this film delivers good, quality performances but is a little light of shocks and scares. But, then again, it was produced by Aaron Spelling. And I didn't expect another SUSPIRIA, speaking from the modern age of viewing where it would be most likely for a horror fan to see Argento's film first.

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Bad... but not to the bone

[26 May 2001]

Two rich snobby step-siblings play the same manipulation tag-you're-it games that were much better captured in DANGEROUS LIAISONS. Sarah can just not match Glenn Close's salt-on-your-wounds style that still stings just as much now as it did then. This film would have been a lot better if it tried to stray further from the suffocating confines of D.L. with some harder shocks and added some humor to it, but instead, we get another movie that wants to be cruel but ends up being child's play. JAWBREAKER hit harder than this.

Valley Girl (1983)

Barbie never looked so innocent

[9/10 · 17 June 2000]

Sweet, rich valley girl develops crush on a punk from the alley and when her snobby friends disapprove of him, she's forced to choose between her heart and her popularity. Very funny romantic comedy blends in elements of black comedy and '80's cheese that make this all the more fun to watch. The movie not only follows the life of the valley girl and her punk; but her friends too as they shop, party, hang out, and go to the mall. If the dialogue doesn't have you laughing non-stop for a week, the music will. Songs like "Johnny, Are You Queer?" are found throughout. Also, Elizabeth Daily is a funny, existential character and the Prom King & Queen speech at the end is hilarious!

The Haunting (1999)

Boo somewhere else (Possible Spoiler)

[1/10 · 16 June 2000]

A group of people with sleeping disorders are invited to stay at a creepy old mansion far away from town where they are secretly being used as an experiment in the stimulus of fear. The house turns out to be haunted by the spirits of children the former owner murdered and the former owner returns to haunt others. Shifts from comatose in boredom to unequivocally lame. Not even mildly amusing in any sense with absolutely horrid special effects. Another film cashing in on the horror genre while at the same time insulting it and further tarnishing it's rusty reputation. Best advice would to not see it, but I have a feeling I'll be ignored.

Stuart Little (1999)

Watching this film is considered torture in some countries

[1/10 · 16 June 2000]

Ugly little computer generated mouse is orphaned and needs to find a home... so the adoption agency decides it's "cute" to stick him with a human family. He shacks in with the family as a freak, but then worms his way into their hearts. Isn't that sickening? The usual problems persist: Snowbell tries to eat him, alley cats chase him, he's nearly drowned in the washer. Pathetic and weak family comedy wants to drive the viewer into a reverse Marilyn Manson effect. Using moral teachings, lame dialogue, and pitiful writing to imitate what the TELETUBBIES do in an entire season. If you still have an ounce of sanity, I implore you to keep it and don't watch this film!

Little Witches (1996)

Witch is an overstatement

[2/10 · 16 June 2000]

Group of unexcited Catholic school girls, forced to board in for Easter Break decide it would be tons of fun to play with fire when they re-enact ancient voodoo/witchcraft curses. Poor (not to mention obvious) rip-off of THE CRAFT is lame pretty much the whole way through until the surprise climax ending and resolution. But, just because the last 2 minutes before credits is great, I wouldn't say that justifies BLOCKBUSTER rental prices. The movie is still lame.

Ladykillers (1988 TV Movie)

What a wonderful world

[16 June 2000]

A police detective assigned to a case where male strippers are being murdered at a club, commissions a gorgeous assistant to go undercover (or overcover) as one of the strippers and becomes slightly jealous of his success in the process. While it has it's down time, it has some good points as well. Some nice strip scenes help to polish this guilty pleasure up. Calabro is a great choice for the club's new star stud.

Suspiria (1977)

Curiosity killed the cat

[8/10 · 16 June 2000]

Young dancer transfers to a prestigious European ballet school with a new history of strange occult practices and grisly deaths. She struggles to discover the truth behind a series of oddities while taking on a slight illness. One of the most confusing films ever made. This picks up a lot of different beginnings that it never finishes. Never explains itself or the direction it's headed in. It merely relies on the irritatingly dark colored lights and heavily shrill squeals of music. The only film in history where the beginning is as puzzling as the ending.

Mortal Kombat (1992 Video Game)

Amazingly realistic arcade-style combat fighting (Spoiler)

[3 June 2000]

In the ultimate battle of good VS evil, seven of Earth's finest warriors will go head-to-head in a tournament none of them will soon forget. Liu Kang, Rayden, Sonya, Sub-Zero, Johnny Cage, Kano, and Scorpion are the chosen 7. While at the time of it's release on SEGA and the SUPER N.E.S. systems, the graphics and special effects were superbly unlike anything ever seen before. Today, the players and the settings are still VERY real-looking, but we've seen that this game title has much more to offer us.

ONLY EXPERIENCED PLAYERS WILL UNDERSTAND THIS FOOTNOTE: The Pit Fatality is the only easy fatality to perform. While at THE PIT level, just uppercut your opponent. Annoying, the only way to perform the other fatalities would be to purchase a gamebook of secrets to the game. The instruction booklets never give you anything interesting.