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Novitiate (2017)
The beginning of the end for the church
The 1960s were a time of tumultuous change in the United States and all over the world. The Catholic Church recognized this and decided the way to maintain interest in the faith was to be more lenient and expect less of people. Now, in 2023 the church is all but destroyed. Mainstream culture carries an obvious hatred and disdain for Christians. True Christians view the church as phony and weak. Atheists hate the church anyway and the attempt to make church more open to them has done nothing to bring them into the church's fold. This movie presents the changes to the church that ultimately lead to it's downfall as a good thing, because at least these young women are free to be lesbians now. Even though our antagonist is certainly a tyrant, I feel for her. Not only is her life ripped out from underneath her, she understands that these reforms have the potential to destroy the church's presence in the modern world. We live in the world where that did happen.
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
Better than anticipated, but mediocre
I was pleasantly surprised by this. I thought it was gonna be really bad, but it's a decent 6. I definitely agree with the comments about Isabelle Fuhrman being too old for the role. She doesn't look like a kid anymore, her face is a young adult's face.
I was mostly impressed with the twist. I was kicking myself for not seeing it coming. Julia Styles really delivers an excellent performance in this movie, and that was perhaps the best part. It was interesting to be watching a film where I was rooting for Esther. I certainly wasn't anticipating that when I sat down. Ultimately, there isnt enough killing, and scares.
Shut In (2022)
A realistic & gritty thriller from the brilliant minds at DW
This movie really illustrates how important it is to discipline your children and teach them not only how to listen and follow directions, but to do so quickly. I know many children who would've died in this situation because they wouldn't have taken mommy very seriously.
I felt connected to the character, I feel they developed her well as a victim of abuse and drug addiction. I thoroughly enjoyed how her strength as a small young female is portrayed realistically. Nothing grinds my gears more than watching a movie starring an average size female with male strength. It is frankly reckless to teach young women they can beat a man with their bear hands. You can't. Overall, I get frustrated with some of her decision, but it is easy to judge from the couch. The reality is that in that kind of stressful situation, you don't always make the perfect call.
Captain Fantastic (2016)
Communist Chaos (pretty mediocre)
-Too much communism, really detracted from the film
-I appreciate the notion that to provide a good education to our youth we must balance the need for them to be free thinkers as well as the need for them to assimilate into society without great anguish. I would do forest life as an intense summer camp. It is obviously not sustainable in real life.
-If they took the coffin then the grave wouldn't have enough dirt to be full. Why did they take the coffin just to open it up in the bus? Stupid. This is an example of poor writing, and a poor understanding of physics.
-The film reminds you that you can only run away from reality for so long before she sucks you right back in and kicks you in the ass. Like a good woman, reality makes you shave your beard and get a damn job.
- Found out that the dude who plays LUIS from American Psycho directed this and I was filled with a complete and overwhelming sense of understanding.
Adult Human Female (2022)
Gender Critical Arguments & Testimonials
This documentary predominantly uses interviews with left wing gender critical feminists to show the problems associated with radical gender ideology. Most of the women have been ostracized and even fired from jobs for daring to breathe their dissenting views. In an era where all the rhetoric surrounding gender is wholey one sided, radical, and unsensical, this documentary serves as a beacon of light in a dark dank cavern. These women have used the vehicle of this documentary to stand against the manipulation of our language to indoctrinate the masses into a totalitarian group think. Their resistance should be commended.
The Book of Eli (2010)
Food for the sacreligious of this world
If you don't seem to see why religion would be important in a world that lost all it's meaning in a secular war... Well you would probably annoy me about as much as Mila Kunis' character did in the beginning of the film. At least she has an excuse. I appreciate the arc that the film was able to give her, her character really grows. Ultimately, the men are either defeated or triumphant based on the way they treat the women of this film. Eli saves Solara despite the headache that she is, and ultimately she returns the favor and ensures his passage to Alcatraz. Claudia gets the last laugh when Carnegie's plans all fall on her shoulders and she walks away. These are principles that have been written down for thousands of years, and play out just the same. It's hard to believe a society could destroy a religion so easily... Then again I look through these reviews and I wonder...
Joe List: I Hate Myself (2020)
Still free on YouTube! (8/2022)
"If she sneezes I'm gonna be dead on the ceiling". This special was a great free time online. List is a funny guy with well worded life stories & observations to share.
The King of Staten Island (2020)
A step in the right direction for Judd Apatow
I am truly shocked that Apatow directed this, to advertise this movie as "From the director of The 40 year-old virgin" just does not do this film any justice. This is funny, but in a very different way. This movie has grit and edge that these silly little flicks like Trainwreck just cannot compete with. This represents a growth in Apatow's career I never would have predicted, but am very happy about.
Stalker (1979)
I'd let daddy Tarkovsky stalk me any day
This film is an exercise in patience, it is VERY slow. It is also very long, but worth every second. It is a gorgeous tapestry of shots, woven together with beautiful Russian dialogue. Tarkovsky can do no wrong baby, no wrong.
The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)
Solid foundation in murky new musical territory
The Belcher's are at it again, this time for an hour & a half of murder mystery thrills & chills. The animation has been kicked up a notch, they even added in shading. The sorry line is entertaining & includes all the interesting side characters (the Fischoeders, Teddy, Zeke, etc.). The main area that lacks for me is the songs. I could do without the musical numbers.
Johnny English (2003)
There's just something about Rowan
Rowan's faces & contortions! His performances are whimsical, comparable to the work of a ballerina. A very, very clumsy ballerina. To watch this film is to watch the premier physical comedian of this generation work.
Envy (2004)
S**t doesn't just disappear
Expected this movie to be more like The Jerk with Steve Martin, but I am very happy with the direction the film decided to take. A great comedy with timeless themes. Jack Black's presence automatically adds to any picture, paired with Christopher Walken & Amy Poehler, even a dead horse can be a great joke.
The Wicker Man (1973)
Pagans!!
A fascinating fictional portrait of the ins & outs of a destructive cult. The film features phenomenal acting, and excellent, dramatic & poetic script writing. Anyone further interested in cultic studies should read anything by Rick Allen Ross.
Tell It to the Bees (2018)
Beeeess!???!!!?
I would say a favorite genre of mine is British lesbian period piece. This was a nice addition to the catalog, but a far from flawless & unsettlingly fantastical interpretation. The strong cast makes great use of what they are given, Anna Paquin is a master actress who has perfected the art of complete facial expression control. I found the story to be poorly constructed, and poorly paced. I would categorize this film by it's tone issues that leave it feeling jarring, but not profound. I think it had the potential to be really contemplative and meaningful, but it does not see that through which is a shame.
When Robbie came to their home and threatened to take the child, I was begging them through the screen to pack a bag & leave town. This is, of course, how the film ends, how it had to end. But only two out of three leave town, not my original plan. This film, in some ways, is an examination of the role of a doctor in a society. Dr. Markham finds acceptance in her small hometown, not because of her sex or sexual orientation, but in spite of this. Doctors are important, and even the worst people in town will come to you when their lives or their children's lives are on the line. Was her noble pursuit of medicine worth trading in her future with Lydia & Charlie? Career over love? I would normally say "no way". But her career isn't identical to that of Ted Kramer. The circumstances are certainly aren't identical either. Its a problem worth thinking about.
Louise (2021)
On Youtube
The beautiful art style is the only interesting thing about Louise, which suffers from half-baked feminist & classist notions that lack any teeth or substance.
The Ten Commandments (1956)
Heston Fever
Charlton Heston puts me in danger of worshipping false idols. If someone told me he were a god, I'd probably feel compelled to agree. He stars in this poetic sprawling epic masterpiece as the ideal of man himself, Moses. Everyone should see this once. Regardless of your religious or spiritual affiliations, everyone can glean value from a movie like this.
The Guard (2011)
I've always wanted a giraffe
Patriarch of the Gleeson thespian dynasty, Brendan Gleeson, stars in The Guard as our archetypal jaded cop. Cheadle plays his exact opposite as a #triggered fbi agent. Dark hilarity ensues as these two clash trying to unravel an expensive drug operation within the confines of this remote west Irish town. As an American, much of the Irish language in this needed thoughtful interpretation, but I would argue that the experience of watching the film was only enhanced by this very quality about it. Our two leads complete successful and fulfilling arcs, while the film takes you through a large spectrum of human emotions.
West Side Story (2021)
Red vs. Blue
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Romeo + Juliet. The film was shot in a richly stylistic manner, this combined with the story's archetypal nature bestows upon the work a dream like quality. The actors naturally evoke the bubbly cauldron of youth excitement and violence. A classic story that will be told and retold again & again. It might behove you to check out a modern day interpretation.
Yes, God, Yes (2019)
Too much Order leads to Chaos
Natalia Dyer stars as a preposterously naive & indoctrinated high schooler in Karen Maine's autobiographical followup to Obvious Child. Yes, God, Yes is a departure from the romantic comedy story structure to one of cringe filled & comedic coming of age. Dyer's portrayal of a young woman at the start of the millennium balancing faith with the obvious contradictions around her, is moving and excessively charming in that teenage spirit kind of way.
A Perfect Pairing (2022)
A $200 Chardonnay Bottle of a Movie
Justice stars as our charming girl Boss lead. She plays the role well, but she should leave the physical comedy to the likes of Jim Carey. Watching her struggle to scrub a toilet, or ask one of her coworkers for a "more coffee options", was cringey & not funny. Demos plays her rugged & serious love interest exceptionally well. I believed the chemistry between them, and the movie demonstrated that they both had changes they needed to make within their lives, facilitated by the other.
Kill the Messenger (2014)
Good investigative reporting ruffles feathers.
This is the hero's journey. The monomythic tragedy explores the hell that is living and dying by your principles. Great cars in this movie. Not enough Winstead. More Winstead! (Also could we all collectively get a nickname going for Mary Elizabeth Winstead? Maybe Mew? Or something?)