Fedaykin_Sadako Reviews

The Brave One (2007)

Excellent film. *slightly spoilery*

[10/10 · 14 September 2007]

I've been looking forward to this film, like Sunshine, since it was first announced. It's been a torturous wait...

Neil Jordan's crafted a haunting tale of a woman who sets out on the path of revenge after a brutal attack that left her in a three week coma and her fiancé dead. The revenge part of the story is merely the impetus for the characters' journeys on the path back to the light.

This movie isn't Kill Bill which, while I LOVE those flicks, is pretty cartoony. Jodie Foster's character, Erica Bain, was a radio talk show host deeply in love with her fiancé (Naveen Andrews) who is now scared out of her mind by the city she loves thanks to three punks who steal their dog and beat them both severely. To try and get the control back, to try and feel safe again in the city she loves, she purchases a gun. It works enough for her to go back out and record the sounds of the city, which she does for her radio programme, but now that she's seen the dark underbelly of New York City, it seems to search her out and she doesn't take the time to think about her first vigilante act. She simply reacts to what she's witnessed, egged on by what she's been through.

Eventually, she actually does think about what she's doing, not searching for the revenge she wishes to take, but not going out of her way to avoid getting herself into situations that would force her into doing something. Finally, she gets to the point where she can and does hunt down the three thugs, but by that time, one is far more concerned with her than with her mission and that, to me, is masterful: to make an intense character drama out of a script that is, essentially, a Death Wish ripoff. That lifts this film far above the rest of its brethren.

All thanks for such an amazing job with a film like this goes to Jodie Foster, Terrence Howard (his character is ancillary to Erica's journey and the part is small, but he makes it memorable), and Neil Jordan. Especially Neil Jordan and Jodie Foster. If it weren't for those two working together, this would be just another film on Warner Bros.' direct-to-DVD release slate, if it had even made it that far. They've made a surprisingly touching film out of something so primal. It doesn't seek to glorify Erica's actions...an amazingly important factor in a film like this.

Fantastic.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

Well-written, very poorly made...

[5/10 · 23 March 2007]

As one can see if they look at the writing credits, the script for this movie was written by Wes Craven and his son Jonathan. I was excited to see what the Son of the Professor of Horror could bring to the festivites.

The script was the best thing in the movie by far. It was a little rough, though...needed a bit of polish. A little more time in the writing stage, methinks. The story, on the whole, was well told and was only slightly predictable as far as who would die next/how exactly or when the next jump scare would be. The ending was satisfying...though I could certainly do without nearly every horror film released within the past few years having some pseudo-tough rock song during the end credits.

The script that the Mssrs. Craven gave to the film is what earned the score of five out of ten...but the script is not the only component to a movie.

The direction was lackluster, the score was like something rejected from a Nightmare on Elm Street sequel...one of the REALLY bad ones (like part five, two's score was much better than the movie deserved), the CGI was the worst I've seen in years, and the nail in the coffin (if you will)...this movie is one of the worst make-up jobs I have ever seen come out of KNB. Even some of the foley work was bad... The film felt rushed.

Why is that? Why were they so pressured as to say okay to a few poorly mixed foley tracks, for God's sakes? Why couldn't they film Flex Alexander and Daniella Alonso's close-ups out in the desert instead of in front of a green screen? Why would KNB, one of the greatest make-up effects houses out there, put out inferiour product? I fear that it's Fox Atomic's fault for intentionally forcing this movie out of the gates just to make the one-year mark and take in as much money as possible. Some productions can do that well, such as Saw...some cannot, such as this. The production suffered heavily because of Fox's greed. Hopefully, the box office take will suffer just as much.

Black Snake Moan (2006)

Great film!

[10/10 · 3 March 2007]

I knew as soon as I saw the first trailer for Black Snake Moan that I would have to see it. I was not disappointed in the slightest in the film, which was written and directed by Hustle and Flow's creator Craig Brewer. It tells the story of a broken blues man and the nymphomaniac he aims to cure not just for her sake, but also his own...yet it's so much more than that. It's complex and rich and it manages to steep you in a gritty, sticky, sultry blue Memphis without making you feel like you need a bath afterward.

The characters are (for the most part) multifaceted and very well-written and performed. The accents and the dialogue were carried off flawlessly. However, there was one weak link in the chain: Justin Timberlake. The best I can say for him is that he can pull off crying...it's a rare male actor who can cry convincingly. However, Justin's Ronnie was flat, but as an actor he was trying very hard. I would definitely give him another chance.

Lazarus and Rae (Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci respectively) have a great chemistry and a great respect for each other. This is one of those films where it doesn't matter how good one actor is if the other one isn't up to the task and, luckily, both of the actors were up to the task.

The music was very bit as good as you would expect, especially when Mr. Samuel L. Jackson sings the blues. Phenomenal.

On the technical side, all was brilliance as far as I could see. It was well-edited, well shot, and well-mixed...everything was great. The character and set designs were just right, the casting of the supporting characters (even Justin Timberlake and especially Kim Richards) was spot on... Loved it.

Masters of Horror: Dream Cruise (2007) Season 2, Episode 13

Not at all like the story...

[8/10 · 3 February 2007]

I was pretty disappointed in the adaptation which is wholly unlike the story that is in the Dark Water collection. I wasn't asking for a faithful adaptation, it just was not what I was expecting. Also, I wasn't too terribly fond of Daniel Gillies' performance, but the Japanese cast were very good (yay for Ishibashi Ryo!) I give the film an eight simply because Tsuruta-san knows how to work the ghost angle and the Naomi stuff is really good. She's just enough of Yamamura Sadako to bring a smile to a knowing fan's face and is chilling enough to leave an impression on a casual viewer. The CGI enhancements were subtle and effective...the first time I think I've ever been able to say that about supplemental digital effects...and the practical make-up was well-done.

Not a bad entry in the series, but I think it should have aired earlier in the run.

Attack of the Gryphon (2007)

Painful to watch...

[1/10 · 28 January 2007]

Only my love of Amber Benson got me to not only watch the movie, but actually watch the whole thing. She was easily the best aspect of this movie, but even she couldn't do much to alleviate the pain caused by the stilted dialogue and hammy (or at the very least uneven) acting of most of her co-stars...and why were most of her lines dubbed and then poorly mixed?

The effects were terrible even by Sci Fi Original standards and I was completely underwhelmed by the repetitive score.

I hope the film gave Amber Benson a nice check so she can go off and make more brilliant flicks like Chance...

Romance & Cigarettes (2005)

You know you do it, too...

[9/10 · 22 July 2006]

When I first heard about this film, I knew that I would love it. I knew that it would have quirky dialogue and stilted situations and yet be fantastically fantastic, not to mention the dream cast. The thing that closed the deal for me was finding out that one of Susan Sarandon's songs would be "Piece of My Heart." When I heard that, I knew that I NEEDED to see this film.

I was not let down in the slightest.

I love how it takes something we all do at any given time (seek solace in singing a song that portrays how we're feeling) and makes a movie around it. The cast is simply to die for. They're all amazing, though we could have used more Mary-Louise Parker and Eddie Izzard, and it's a perfect film for all of them.

Love it...absolutely love it.

The Omen (2006)

Pointless and really not very good besides...

[2/10 · 6 June 2006]

This film fails miserably in evoking the emotions and fears of the original and the fault for this lies everywhere, in nearly every frame of the film...and squarely on the shoulders of an inept director who, it seems, has never watched a horror film in his life.

It gets an extra star from me because Liev Schreiber was really quite good as Robert Thorn. Otherwise, the film felt overwrought with extremely tired horror film clichés and a score that certainly left something to be desired in spite of my opinion that Marco Beltrami is normally a better composer than this...if not entirely original either.

I think that's the fault of remakes...they're not original and yet audiences pay for insipid messes like this therefore more insipid messes are made and whoever gave the green light on these ill-conceived projects gets a pat on the back.

Do yourself a favour: go watch the original again. This film isn't fit to share the name of the first three...in point of fact, this film might rank right down on the list with the fourth Omen movie.

Hostel (2005)

Not all that good... (there are some spoilers)

[1/10 · 6 January 2006]

A note, first: This movie is NOT directed by Quentin Tarantino. If it were, you can bet your sweet bippie that I would be all about it. This film was written and directed by Eli Roth whose previous film was the somewhat interesting Cabin Fever.

Anyway, the movie is about two Americans (and an Icelandic chap they met in their travels) who are backpacking through Europe for one last fling with sex and drugs before they move on into adult life. During one disastrous night in Amsterdam, they're told about a utopian hostel far away where the girls will do anything, especially for Americans.

Of course, they go.

Their first night at this miracle hostel is exactly what was promised, but the next day, their Icelandic friend has left without word...and apparently left with a Japanese girl he'd shown no interest in previously. The American boys are worried, but the Pakistani-American (I don't remember their names...that's how invested I was in these characters) told his friend that that's just how they do things in Europe and they should just continue to party and screw. So they did. The Pakistani-American passes out in a liquor closet, but his friend manages to make it back to their room...

...and wake up handcuffed to a chair, naked save for his boxer-briefs, with some guy choosing which tool to use first. Torture ensues.

The Pakistani-American wakes up in the liquor closet and goes about trying to find his friends. He meets up with the girls from the other night and now, they're not so mesmerizing as that first magical night. They're not wearing make up or club clothes and they look a tad strung out, but otherwise like every other girl in the world (a nice touch, IMO). Eventually, one of the girls takes him into the heart of darkness and he has to battle his way out.

It's like a 95 minutes (plus 10 minutes of trailers) cautionary tale about being a horny American in Europe...but there's no investment in the characters.

Hostel would have fit well in the 80s TnA horror flicks we all know, but it has a timeless vicious intensity that almost elevates it to the level of a good horror flick. Almost. However, just as with Roth's previous flick Cabin Fever, it's unfocused with some pretty bad dialogue and bad acting.

It felt as though the two or two and a half reels of lusty girls and pot were really to pad out the script to feature length, not to make the torture scenes that much more brutal. Eli Roth really needs to work on his writing...really, really.

The worst part about the movie HAS to be the score. Note to Eli Roth and his composer: You're not making Lord of the Rings here...you're making an attempt at a new millennium grind house horror flick. Your score is LAUGHABLE and not in a good way.

The best thing about the movie other than the great effects from Nicotero and Berger: Miike Takashi's cameo. I'd read about it in Fango, but forgot until I saw him. That was a WONDERFUL surprise.

Roth's obviously a horror fan...and a fan of Tarantino's (as evidenced by the usage of a clip from Pulp Fiction featuring Samuel L. Jackson - Ezekial 25:17). He references Sam Raimi and Suicide Club, as well. I'd have to watch it again for more, but I didn't like the film well enough to bother.

This sounds like a negative review...and it is. However, I must say that the last reel and a half or two reels were more along the lines of what I was expecting based on the trailers. There were two scenes where I was like "Dayum!" (Kana and the Kids at the end,) but as far as being disturbing or whatever I felt the impact lessened by a poorly written script and didn't really have anything to elevate it from that quagmire.

As for gore, well...I was brought up on Fulci, Argento, and Bava. I can understand where the average American will see this film and throw up...they haven't seen The Gates of Hell. For a horror fan who is well-educated in the genre and doesn't necessarily feel that the terms "well written" and "horror film" are mutually exclusive, it's a disappointment.

Oh, and as for the "based on true events" thing, Harry Knowles from AintItCoolNews showed Eli Roth a website where you could purchase a "murder vacation" for $10,000 and THAT'S the basis for the story. Roth doesn't even know if the website was real.

Overall, I wouldn't waste my ten bucks to see it in the theatres (I'm a projectionist so yippee for free), but I would waste my four bucks for a DVD rental and watch it with friends.

Land of the Dead (2005)

Land of the Dead...

[10/10 · 24 June 2005]

...was awesome!! For those of you who may not know: George A. Romero revolutionized not just horror, but Independent films in general when he made Night of the Living Dead in 1968 for $114,000.00. Since then, countless movies about cannibalistic living dead have saturated the marketplace, all stealing from George. Then, in 1978 he made the fan-favourite Dawn of the Dead, revolutioning zombie horror all over again hand-in-bloody-hand with make-up god Tom Savini and Italian giallo maestro (and Lucio Fulci protégé) Dario Argento...

Among the imitators was Lucio Fulci himself with his classic Zombie (a.k.a. Zombi 2, Zombie Flesh Eaters). In collaboration with Dario Argento, Lucio and his producers seeked to create their own sequel to George's Dawn of the Dead (released as Zombi in Italy). And as good as Fulci was, and as bad as quite a few of the other imitators were, nothing is quite like a George Romero film.

1985 saw the release of my personal favourite of the Dead cycle, Day of the Dead. It's under-appreciated, in my opinion, more because the zombies aren't as fresh as they are in Dawn...nor does it boast the same comic book colour. It's more real...more immediate, and pretty dark. The human interaction and break downs are far better written in that go around.

Since then, zombie fans haven't heard a peep from George as his style went out of vogue and he got older. Ageism is a big problem in Hollywood and even a master like George isn't immune to it, especially when he loves to work in horror.

20 years have passed (and yes, I have been waiting that long) and George has returned to the fold with a vengeance. Land of the Dead speaks volumes about human nature through the onslaught of the walking dead on a city that ignores its problems and becomes very complacent...until, of course, a zombie comes up and bites them all on the ass. The make-up style, done by long-time George collaborator and student of Tom Savini Greg Nicotero of KNB EFX is very much in the vein of Day of the Dead with a few new things like contacts and some advanced techniques. The animatronics looked great and there are very few CGI effects...thank god.

He also picks up where he left off in terms of the development of zombies. They used tools in Night and Dawn, and Day had zombies that learned...especially Bub who remembered how to use a gun. This isn't a plot device from left field. He's been building this up for almost 40 years. And it makes sense. Big Daddy is just the first step towards a stronger, smarter zombie.

It's weird to have a George Romero zombie film starring recognizable actors... John Leguizamo is great. Dennis Hopper has very little screen time, but is great as the slimy Kauffman. And YAY!! ASIA! Her casting is one of my favourite things about the movie. I love Asia Argento (daughter of previous Romero collaborator Dario). Unfortunately, they asked her for an American accent and this go around, it wasn't as good as it was for The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things. Her wonderful Italian kept breaking through.

Will people be disappointed with this film? Hell, you can't please all the people all the time. But just remember, zombie films made after 1968 have used George's rules. Even the runners - if they eat humans and are killed with a blow to the head (not the spinal cord, the brain), they follow his rules. Resident Evil bent the rules to include the top of the spinal column so they could have Milla breaking necks with her thighs of doom.

George's films aren't just about zombies and blood. The're also clever statements on socio-political/economic structures affecting the world we live in. But the statements are handled in such a way that if you're just there for the blood, then you've got that. If you like some thought with your horror, well more's the better.

All in all, this is a fantastic and more than welcome addition to the Dead cycle. I loved it.

Oldboy (2003)

Short, non-spoilery review of one of the greatest films I've ever seen.

[10/10 · 11 June 2005]

Oldboy tells the story of a man who, after being imprisoned for no immediate reason, goes after his captor who framed him for the murder of his family.

A masterpiece of deception and the power of suggestion, this violent and intense little Korean film is one of the best films I've seen so far this year. I plunked my $8 down at the film festival counter and watched the movie with the older, snotty film fest crowd who didn't bother to read about the film that they were going to watch.

And, yes, I chuckled to myself as they gasped and said ,"Oh...it's subtitled..." And I chuckled when they squirmed during the more intense scenes.

I was lucky enough that this past month's Fangoria had a nice little article about Oldboy AND the festival actually got it...or else I would have been ticked. It's the middle part of Chan-wook Park's vengeance trilogy that started with Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and will end this year when he releases Sympathy for Ms. Vengeance.

It's powerful, gritty, realistic, and fantastic and if you get to see the British release print that's circulating the country right now, do so. It seems to be uncut. The only bothersome thing is that it has white subtitles. I prefer yellow ones, myself...easier to read.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

*CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS* Umm...not a good movie.

[5/10 · 10 September 2004]

Saw Resident Evil: Apocalypse tonight. It didn't suck, but it certainly wasn't great. Paul W.S. Anderson needs to stop writing for a while. Just stop. AvP sucked and now this. Everything he writes is glaringly, obviously, PAINFULLY the same.

I liked the first movie. It was atmospheric and chock a block full of zombies. This was...not. There are a few zombies, but you don't see any make-up effects, the actor's direction is horrible, but the action direction is great. Lots and lots of good action...but that's not what I want to see in a Resident Evil movie. I want to see zombies and Lickers (only three?!) and even though the writing in the first movie was lacking, this one lacked any sense of intelligence.

*MAJOR SPOILERS IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH*

How in the hell did the corpses in the cemetery get infected? How did the dogs get infected? How did the infection get from the mansion which is supposed to be far away from the (walled) city all the way into the heart of Racoon City without, oh I don't know, being seen? The brain is the key, destroy the brain, you destroy the zombie. If the doctor's brain was already destroyed (when he was shot by the Major Asshole in charge), how did he come back?!?!?! Why did he infect himself with the T-virus? He was still in the wheelchair so if he were actually testing the virus out on himself, and it didn't work, would he not have considered the whole thing a failure?

*END SPOILERS*

Alexander Witt should stick to second unit work...that is where his true talent lies. Or, perhaps he should find a partner and have them direct the actors while he focuses on the action. Milla Jovovich was good...the rest of the cast was not so good.

And Nemesis. Ugh. I'm glad it wasn't CGI, but the bloody thing looks so fake and...well, it needed some shine. And those boots were ridiculous. They looked like moon shoes. And I laughed when Nemesis and Alice fight at the end. *shakes head*

I dunno. I hope it does well so that George A Romero doesn't lose financing for Land of the Dead and we can get some good zombie movies back into the marketplace instead of poorly written tripe like this.

Ugh...the more I think about it, the more I dislike it. If it weren't for the fact that there are quite a few good zombie scenes (zombies are my favourite "movie monster"), then I would most definitely downgrade it to Suck.

Open Water (2003)

Terrifyingly dull...

[2/10 · 20 August 2004]

...except for the last ten minutes. However, I don't think those ten minutes justify paying today's exorbitant ticket prices. Save it for the dollar theatre or a rental...but make sure to return it on time...you don't want to spend any more money on this one than you have to...

It's poorly acted, poorly edited, and lacks any depth to make you feel for the characters and their situation. The score by the usually amazing Graeme Revell is wholly out of place, as are the bluesy choral pieces of the soundtrack.

The script...or even lack thereof. If it was indeed scripted, the writing was horrid. If it was improv, it was even worse. I felt as though I was watching a high schooler's movie, especially with the flashback at the end.

What happened to the boat that was heading RIGHT TOWARDS THEM? What happened to the buoy? What happened to the belt? I'll tell you what happened...bad writing.

Jaws: The Revenge, the worst of the Jaws movies, was better than this...

Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

Umm...yeah...slight spoiler.

[1/10 · 19 August 2004]

Did anyone involved with the writing of this film ever....oh, I don't know...WATCH THE ORIGINAL? Or maybe, perhaps, READ THE BOOK?!

I'm a projectionist and watched the film last night to check the print for factory splices, bad reels, etc, and, as a fan of both the book and the film versions of The Exorcist, I was deeply disappointed with the absolute disregard paid to Blatty's work.

The CGI was substandard, the compositing left a lot to be desired...I mean, this felt as if it should have been released direct-to-video or - if it weren't for the gore added in post - it could have almost been a TV movie.

(How in the world did that guy get a leather impression of something that's buried deep inside the church, and has not been seen in a millennium and a half?)

And the ending. The ending is the worst part. I won't spoil it for those gluttons of punishment who are still going to see the movie, but it is the least thought out, most moronic ending ever...and it doesn't help that it goes against what was already written or shown about Merrin's work in Africa.

The always-incredible Stellan Skarsgard was perfect as Merrin...except, I was wondering where his accent went. I expected a thicker Swedish accent to match his countryman, Max Von Sydow, from the original.

It seemed as though most of the crew was really working hard for the film. Too many extreme close-ups with no emotion

Do yourself a favour...watch the original again. Avoid this drivel. Or, watch The Heretic again...by comparison, The Heretic is better (ignoring the flashy light hypnosis.) I don't know how Exorcist: The Beginning can get a vote tally of 7 point whatever when the movie hasn't even opened yet. The voters either work for Warner Bros or haven't seen the original film.

Ugh. So bad...

The Order (2003)

The Order wasn't fulfilled...I want my fries!

[7 September 2003]

*SPOILER ALERT*

It needed a LOT of work. The movie makes all of these huge character leaps without sufficient explanation as to why. Shannyn's character is underused, Ledger shouldn't have been cast as the priest, Peter Weller should retire (but not until they do The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension part two), and Mark Addy needs to kick his agent. Hard.

I like Mark Addy. He was awesome in The Full Monty. I HATED A Knight's Tale and I'm not too fond of The Order. I still like Mark Addy. Yay Mark Addy!

How could they have made the movie better? They could have given a history of the Sin Eaters in the beginning, done away with a lot of the philosophical back and forth banter, cut out the two little demon children as they were pointless, streamlined the subplots of Heath and Shannyn's characters' star-crossed love as well as the Other and his motivations, beefed up the Mark Addy character a bit more, done away with the Peter Weller stuff, then I would have expanded the ending into a strong final act through into either Mark Addy becoming a Sin Eater as well, him killing the new Other, or they both die in the final battle.

That's what I would do alrighty...

Because of the set-up at the end, I think this film COULD have a good sequel...if the writing and editing were smoothed out a bit more. And fer the love of St. Peter's church, could there be a little more light? The silhouettes were annoying, not atmospheric.

Just the Ten of Us (1987–1990)

Still one of my favourites...

[10/10 · 16 August 2003]

I love this show... I only started watching because Heather Langenkamp was in it and I was (and am) a fan of hers from the Nightmare days, but then I realized that I truly enjoyed every episode.

I miss the show a lot...it was the only funny thing on that insipid TGIF line-up and once it was gone, ABC couldn't find a replacement that would stay for longer than a season...should have tipped them off to not bow to Miller-Boyette.

The humour was right on, if you were not too uptight to catch it or to laugh at yourself if you found it too close to home, and every episode was endearing and fun.

"Car in the Pool" is my favourite with "Highway to Heaven" coming in next, and "Heartbreaker" and "Radio Days"...*etc, etc, etc*

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

One of the best films...EVER...

[10/10 · 16 August 2003]

The message behind this film and the original book have inspired so many people including Steven Spielberg who, so I've read, as a prop AURYN in his office, there to remind him to never stop dreaming because when you stop dreaming, you start dying.

The effects, especially on the DVD, look amazing, better than most of the CGI crap we're force-fed nowadays.

If you love the movie, go buy the book. It's a million times better, if you can believe it, and certainly better than the crap sequels and cartoons and stuff that have come since.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

SPOILERS AHEAD - Eleven Things Wrong About This Movie

[15 August 2003]

In spite of all the negative stuff I'm going to say, I really did like the movie. A lot. I'm a big Freddy fan... FvsJ didn't surpass Nightmares 1, 3 and 7 and it didn't suck like Freddy's Revenge. As far as the F13 movies go, this is just one more in a loooooong line of sequels...but it was better than Jason X. And now to my rant, in no particular order:

First, the door to 1428 should be blue with the numbers running vertically to the right as you're looking at it.

Second, the new make-up design for Freddy AND Jason really isn't very good, but whatever. The new glove design really bugs me. The blades don't look like he made them...they don't have the same primal feeling the original design had.

Third, Springwood is located in California, not Ohio like in Freddy's Dead and only Freddy's Dead. A cornfield in CA? Am I insane or does that not seem possible? And if Camp Blood is so close to Springwood, why wouldn't they all have heard about Jason before? Two extremely prolific serial killers within hours of each other and Springwood has no freakin' idea?

Fourth, I'm sorry, but Freddy's Dead did have a point that after ten or so years of children being killed and word spreading about the "Springwood Slasher" (a cutsie FvsJ name for him), the town would die. No one would want to move there, and certainly would not stay there for long if they did.

Fifth, they should have pointed out that not only did Freddy once live in 1428 Elm, but that he also killed his wife there, adding impact to the line "I've always had a thing for the whores who live in this house..."

Sixth, Robert Shaye needs to stay out of these movies. Stay out, Bob. Really.

Seventh, they blew Freddy up at the end of Freddy's Dead. He was in reality, which was their plan in this one: kill him in reality. The filmmakers can't ignore Freddy's Dead like the Halloween producers ignored 3 through 6 because they showed footage from it in the montage at the beginning of the movie. The only sequel they DIDN'T show footage from was Wes Craven's New Nightmare.

Eighth: Freddy now seems to have The Force. Great. *rolls eyes* By the rules set forth in the previous sequels, he only has the same talents as the dream powers of the people he's stalking.

Ninth: Freddy can apparently take possession of people, like in part two. There's a problem with this: if he can do that why couldn't he have taken someone over completely and killed until the body he was in was executed then started all over again?

Tenth: Freddy's not afraid of fire. Yes, it killed him, but he uses it. He used it to kill the John Doe in Freddy's Dead, he used it in the pool scene in Freddy's Revenge, he used it to kill Kristen in Dream Master, and he used it to bring himself back to unlife in the beginning of that same movie, Dream Master. Fire is not his fear, being forgotten is.

Eleventh: Kane Hodder should have played Jason. Maybe he was screwed out of the deal...maybe he got too cocky for his own good, but regardless, he IS Jason. Sympathetic eyes my foot: Jason is hard, he's supposed to be played hard.

And that was my rant. Thank you.

Children of the Living Dead (2001 Video)

Oh dear lord why?

[17 June 2003]

I wouldn't necessarily call myself an expert, but I like zombie films. A lot. I watch any and all zombie films I can get my hands on. This is the first time I've ever thought "What the heck did I just waste an hour and a half watching?" I've even suffered through Shatter Dead and Bruno Mattei's Hell of the Living Dead and didn't think that.

The sound is atrocious...who in the world thought that looping almost the entire movie was a good idea? How did they afford to have Savini back to ADR ALL of his lines?! Was the make-up artist a student of his?! Geez...at least Savini looks better in this than he did in From Dusk Til Dawn. When I saw that, I started to fear for his life...

Handheld is fine and dandy...but why not spend the money for the "explosions" on SteadyCam rental? Or use a dolly more (wheelchair and a tripod, baby...read Stanley Kubrick's biography (the beige one) and Robert Rodriguez's Rebel Without a Crew!)?

The direction was...not so bad. Tor Ramsey has potential. Hopefully, his next movies will be better.

The script. Don't even get me started. I was intrigued to see that a woman wrote it...but it sucked. The dialogue was stilted and sounded like this was the first draft, the exposition was too bloody long and repeated too much, and that first scene needed to be cut a little. I began to wonder if Ms. Wolf had ever watched any horror films, much less any zombie movies.

Go watch Bio-Zombie...Lucio Fulci's The Beyond...Return of the Living Dead...geez, watch that Mattei crap, but just do yourself a favour and DON'T WATCH THIS.

Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002 Video)

Takes a little while to get going...

[15 February 2003]

Not too terribly bad...much better than Bloodlines and Inferno, Hellseeker tells the story of Kirsty's forgetful husband as he tries to piece together some really mysterious events.

For the first...umm...HOUR and a bloody HALF or so, I'm thinking, okay, this is pretty good. Not Hellraiser, but okay. Neato special effects, although a couple of the CG shots could have been blended better.

Dean Winters, as Kirsty's husband, was boring, but I think that actually worked for the story. Ashley Lawrence, Kirsty herself, gave the same level of performance to this installment as she had to the original Hellraiser...which I think is good, but that's in the eye of the beholder.

I liked the ending a lot. The last half hour was right on classic Hellraiser, in my opinion. And you know that the five souls have only temporarily sated ol' Pinhead and the Cenobites. They'll come for her again soon, especially since she has the box.

My only complaint is that although Kirsty is the main character, they don't address her past with the Lament Configuration until the end. That might intrigue some, but it frustrated me terribly. Ashley seemed to try and give some mental anguish over her choices to Kirsty, but there just wasn't enough time.

On the whole, not a bad installment to the series.

8 Women (2002)

It's Clue, but French...

[10/10 · 3 January 2003]

And if you, the reader, have seen Clue, then you know that it's not meant to be watched for the mystery, it's meant to be watched for the fun. 8 Femmes is very much like Clue in that respect...although there are two main plot points I didn't see resolved in 8 Femmes and like a billion plot holes in Clue, if you keep reading, gentle viewer, you may see my point.

As soon as I heard that two of my all-time favourite actresses, Fanny Ardant and Catherine Deneuve (who, I learn from a different review here, are real-life rivals), were in this French (duh) 60's period musical, I HAD to see it and I was not disappointed.

The movie, at least in my most humble opinion, was both a loving ode to melodrama and a knowing smirk of a spoof. It was fun and funny, intelligent and dumb and even a little heartbreaking.

The choreography...well...certainly not Bob Fosse, but can these women be beautiful, act so well, wear those dresses, sing and dance all at once? They're French, not crazy...

Anyhoo, it's tons o' fun, light-hearted yet dark and just plain awesome. heehee

Chance (2002)

Amber Benson is amazing...

[10/10 · 25 September 2002]

Chance premiered at the SideWalk Film Festival 22 September, 2002. As of right now, there are no distribution deals and no further plans to show the film, but that could, of course, change. And I hope with all of my heart it does.

Chance is a dark comedy about a chapter in the life of a young woman searching to find herself. It stars Amber Benson and James Marsters as Chance and Simon respectively. Also appearing in the film are Nate Barlow, Andy Hallett (the Host on Angel), Tressa diFiglia (Nicholas Brendon's wife), and Christine Estabrook.

The movie is hilarious! Definitely along my tastes in humour, and Amber did a fantastic job doing everything for this film - a true Indie movie. The soundtrack, provided by Grant Langston (with the beautiful song over the opening credits having been written by Joss Whedon), was awesome, funny, and touching. Pretty blunt, too, which served the story perfectly.

I was so afraid this movie would suck as much as I love Amber Benson. It didn't. It was much better than a lot of the movies I've seen lately. Amber was fantastic and James was so adorable it was scary.

If you get the chance (haha), see this movie. You will not be disappointed.

Haunted Junction (1997)

Oh my God. Great fun!

[10/10 · 17 April 2002]

I was wary at first of watching this anime series, but I was hooked from the second episode. Haunted Junction is the story of Saito High (a school that sits in the middle of a spiritual junction formed by a Christian church, a Buddist temple and a Shinto shrine) and three of its students. Because of its location, Saito High is a hot-bed of paranormal activity which is studied and controlled by the (Holy) Student Council.

The (Holy) Student Council is comprised of the reticent Haruto (the Christian, and president), the oft-possessed Kazumi (the Buddist who's in love with Toilet Hanako), and the violent Mitsumi (the Shintoist with a thing for young boys.) Their powers, combined with the badges of the seven school spirits, help to control the forces at work within the school and help all of those, including spirits, who are in need.

At first, I was unsure about watching this... I don't know why, exactly, I just didn't think I'd like it. I was wrong...I LOVE it. I've seen them all (twelve episodes on two DVDs) about a billion times. It's cute, it's raunchy, it's funny...lots and lots of fun. I highly recommend this series!