eil-2 Reviews

To Play the King (1993)

To Play the King

[21 March 2003]

Although weaker than House of Cards, To Play the King is consistently entertaining, perhaps more so than the other parts of the trilogy, which ended with The Final Cut.

Francis Urquhart has been PM (played by the wonderful Ian Richardson) for some time now, and he now faces a challenge in the new King (a compelling impersonation of Princes Charles by Michael Kitchen), who's views on Britain conflict wildly with Urquhart's. Added to this, Urquhart is engaging in an affair with Sarah Harding (Kitty Aldridge), a pollster, and seriously getting on the wrong side of his oldest friend and Chief Whip/Party Chairman Tim Stamper (played by Colin Jeavons, who almost steals the show from Richardson), who has incriminating evidence concerning Urquhart's involvement in the death of journalist Mattie Storin.

To Play the King carries on the Urquhart trilogy with great confidence. Despite the fact that it came three years after House of Cards, all of the recurring cast slip back into their roles with ease. The location work and music are also outstanding. However, the real weakness with this production is that Andrew Davies' script goes over old ground. The dialogue is naturally superb, but Urquhart's relationship with Harding is thin compared to the one between him and Mattie, and the ending strangely lacks the emotional edges of the other two in the series.

That said, To Play the King is highly enjoyable, and worth checking out if you were a fan (and who wasn't) of House of Cards.

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

Will Spielberg ever make a good movie again

[3 February 2003]

If this movie had ended straight after the superb opening titles then perhaps I would think more highly of it. Well, initially, it's fairly average, with a fair dash of schmaltz, but nothing too terrible... but it goes on for so long. Chase movies shouldn't last 140 minutes. CMIYC continues Spielberg's inexplicable trend of dragging the ending on forever. Surprisingly, the one good thing about the movie is Tom Hanks, playing an up-tight obssessive FBI agent. But in the end, it ain't enough. I have now vowed never to see another Spielberg movie again after this waste of time.

Batman Returns (1992)

Better than the original?

[8/10 · 3 December 2002]

It's a hard decision to make- which is better, Batman or Batman Returns, as both represent the quality end of action cinema superbly. Batman Returns lacks a truly great villain; Danny DeVito's hammy Penguin is more sympathetic than the Joker but not as charismatic, and the finale stretches the credibility of even a superhero movie. In it's favour, Batman Returns is more exciting than the original, with brilliant performances from Keaton, Pfeiffer and Walken, playing villainous (surely some mistake) businessman Max Shreck. Danny Elfman provides a typically excellent score, and the Christmas stylings work in the film's favour. The things falls apart slightly with the script; dialogue is generally funny (in a good way), but as I mentioned above, the ending was far too silly. Batman Returns is good fun, and possibly superior to the original. It's certainly better than Joel Schumacher's camp garbage take on the caped crusader. 8/10

Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

Better than you'd think

[8/10 · 3 December 2002]

Following on from the perky Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla, Terror of Mechagodzilla is a very different movie in tone, possibly because series founder Ishiro Honda is directing. The story (about a beautiful female cyborg helping alien forces control the Earth by destroying it with monsters Mechagodzilla and Titanosaurus) is perhaps more credible than you'd expect, given the superior level of acting on show from the cast. Naturally, the film really excels with the creatures and Akira Ifukube's doom-laden score. If more Godzilla movies were similar to this then perhaps the series would face less ridicule. Or maybe not. Still good though. 8/10

House of Cards (1990)

Brilliant

[11 September 2002]

"POSSIBLE SPOILERS" This is a brilliant drama focusing on the exploits of Conservative whip Francis Urquart, who after being passed over for promotion to the cabinet orchestrates a vendetta against his fellow ministers until he comes out on top. Ian Richardson is superb in the lead role, and rightfully won a Bafta for the part. His asides to the camera are often very funny. There are also some other excellent characters, particularly Henry Collingridge, the innocent party leader who is forced to resign over a scandal, and Patrick Woolton, the Minister of Defence who seems to hate all of his colleagues. Unfortunately, the ending has been ruined by numerous showings on TV nostalgia shows, but it remains chilling and memorable. This is excellent, as are it's overlooked sequels, To Play the King, and The Final Cut.

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Planet of the Yawns, more like

[4/10 · 20 August 2001]

This is essentially the most pointless film of the summer. The plot doesn't exist- crash land, capture, and then escape. Even the ending's stupid. The only good point was the actual monkey- no, not the evil apes, but the cute lil monkey fella. Now if they made a film about him...

Blackadder's Christmas Carol (1988 TV Movie)

Yet more brilliance from the Blackadder Team

[9 July 2001]

Blackadder's Christmas Carol makes for exceedingly good comedy. It is memorable because it turns Dicken's tale of the Victorian holiday season on its head. So, rather than a mean old miser repenting his evil ways, Ebeneezer Blackadder, the kindest man in England, repents his kind ways and turns into a nasty loner. The writing is sublime and it is good to see past Blackadders, but not the futuristic version. That just rings hollow with its over use of incomprehensible jargon and silly costumes.

Blackadder the Third (1987)

Sheer Hilarity

[8 July 2001]

Blackadder the Third is the most consistently amusing series of the brilliant comedy saga. The reason? The plots are brilliantly comic as are the characters, who are notably all either nasty or stupid. Blackadder, played by Rowan Atkinson, fires of a plethora of hilarious verbal abuse at both his filthy and stupid dogsbody Baldrick and his arrogant and stupid master Prince George. And that's basically all it is. Certainly, some characters, such as George (Hugh Laurie) have funny lines, but without Blackadder the lines wouldn't be as funny. The reason the Blackadder (1983) doesn't really work is because Blackadder is portrayed as a silly-ass and isn't mentally superior to any of the characters, even Baldrick.

This was followed by the also hilarious, but slightly more subdued Blackadder Goes Forth.

Licence to Kill (1989)

Licence to Yawn

[10 May 2001]

So they take away Bond's licence to kill. Interesting idea, but ultimately flawed. I don't want to see a realistic Bond- to do that would be to defeat the whole concept. Timothy Dalton is a good Bond but he was far better in the previous movie. Meanwhile, we have splatting heads and lorries on fire. Sure to appeal to the no-brainer action freak. Licence to Kill looks and feels like a cold movie to watch. It's long-winded and gritty and totally un-Bondish. No wonder it nearly spelled the end for 007, a character who in my opinion was past his best in Octopussy, although The Living Daylights was enjoyable. Still, I get no satisfaction from this and I doubt if any Bond fans really do. 4/10.

Moonraker (1979)

Why-oh-why?

[10 May 2001]

The Spy who Loved Me generally presented a fresher less tired but unfortunately deriative Bond film. Moonraker goes one step better (or lower) by transplanting Spy's plot to different locations and Outer Space (more on that later) and even using the preceeding film's action sequences as a springboard. Sure, a parachute battle might seem original, but after the parachute antics in Spy it doesn't seem as inspired. Following the pre-title sequence is one of the dullest songs in Bond history- sung by Shirley Bassey! Much to be preferred is the disco variation at the end. On the whole, though, John Barry delivers one of his finest scores using Outer Space as his musical motif. Acting (or the lack of) is the next issue. While Michel Lonsdale (the correct spelling of his name) performs well and manages to upstage Roger Moore, the Moorester, Lois Chiles and Richard Kiel are all largely embarrassing. Kudos to Moore, though, for actually acting a scene- the centrifuge torture, essentially a reworking of the traction machine in Thunderball. And finally, wasn't it a bit lame having 007 going into Outer Space? I doubt the chances of anything like a huge spacestation going un-noticed and space marines (shooting lasers!) emerging from space shuttles. Please note that the Outer Space storyline is influenced by the far better Star Wars, made two years earlier. To end, I'd like to say that Moonraker was a mistake. The main reason I hate it is because of it's similarity to the Spy who Loved Me, but it's also got a fairly unlikely plot. Agreed, that's not unusual in a Bond film but all the previous adventures had a grounding in reality- this one doesn't and just comes across as laughable.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Poor Service

[10 May 2001]

I dislike OHMSS severely. For a start it's Connery-less, the first mistake. Secondly it presents Blofeld as played by Telly Savalas. And there are even more mistakes up to the ending- granted, it's an attempt at emotion in a Bond film but when you have an unknown car-dealer from Australia named Lazenby with no previous movie experience acting it, it just comes off as hilarious. Admittedly the girls are sexy and the music is fresh, while a ski chase is a fairly good idea- but I found it hard to enjoy despite these nuggets in a wasteland. Roll on DAF, the under-rated 007 flick.

Billion Dollar Brain (1967)

A Billion Dollar Movie

[10/10 · 23 April 2001]

Len Deighton's seedy secret agent Harry Palmer is back in an adventure which knocks the other two into submission and nearly comes close to being better than the same year's You Only Live Twice and previous Bond classic Thunderball. Despite the fact that the plot is rather more fanciful than usual, the actors give in pleasing performances. The story, while rather confusing, produces some immortal images, and the musical score is quite superb, with an unforgetable main theme. And Maurice Binder's title animation just HAS to be seen.It's hilarious. 9/10

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

The Dark Side of the Force

[3 April 2001]

I could hardly hide my glee when viewing the teaser trailer for this, the first Star Wars prequel. I've seen it many times by now, and the sad fact is that it is pretty poor when viewed repeatedly. The acting is almost continually below par- just take Jake 'the Table' Lloyd or Liam Neeson who looks confused throughout the film. John Williams score is sadly, the worst of the series, although he manages to create two memorable tunes- Duel of Fates and Trade Federation March- but most of his score is more suited to a schmaltzy TV Movie. Jar Jar Binks (the most annoying Star Wars character ever) and his computer generated pals succeed in ruining a film which could have been so much darker (the Sith sub- plot is fascinating). All in all, less Star Wars and more Manufactured Hollywood Moviemaking. 5/10

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

Overlook the Ewoks and you've got a superb movie

[3 April 2001]

There are many who claim the final Star Wars chapter gives the Ewoks the limelight- this is untrue. Although the cutesy teddy bears are bizarrely integral to the plot, the final half of the film is a tribute to Empire- very dark. Ian McDiarmid, as the Emperor, gets so many excellent lines that I'd swear he'd payed off George Lucas for them. The final battle between Vader (my favourite character) and Luke is enhanced by John Williams' excellent music. Not all the creatures in the film are annoying- the opening sees the droids Threepio and Artoo travelling to vile gangster Jabba the Hutts palace. This is truly classic Star Wars. The scenes featuring the slug- like Jabba are amusing and the various others creatures that inhabit his palace look incredible. All in all- a good follow up to The Empire Strikes Back- 8/10.

A View to a Kill (1985)

Triumphant or Tired?

[4/10 · 2 April 2001]

A View to a Kill was Roger Moore's last Bond film, unfortunately. Moore was excellent in the previous two Bonds but his role is tired and 2D here, much like the rest of the movie. The plot (involving destroying Silicon Valley) simply smacks of Goldfinger, the cast struggle to look credible, and the humour is either sexist or racist. On the other hand, John Barry's score is his best in the 80's, and Christopher Walken, as Max Zorin, the psychopathic villain, is superb, so much so that you begin to root for him. So, all in all, a wasted opportunity which would have been so much better had Timothy Dalton played Bond.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Connery's Best

[10/10 · 2 April 2001]

After George Lazenby left the 007 series to pursue what is now obviously a failed movie career, MGM lured Connery back for one more Bond. And what an inspired idea it was. Connery is brilliant as 007, bringing some excellent humour to the film, and Charles Gray, as a rather camp Blofeld, is truly hilarious with some classic lines. Unfortunately, Jill St John plays a rather flat Bond girl after Diana Rigg's superb performance in the previous movie, and the special effects look terribly outdated today. Highlights include John Barry's excellent score, the pre- credits sequence, Bond mountaineering up a Las Vegas casino, Blofeld's henchmen Wint and Kidd, and the Moonbuggy chase. Classic Bond.