grendel-28 Reviews

War (2002)

Good plot gone to waste

[9 May 2002]

A British couple is kidnapped by the Chechens for a ransom of a million pounds - a ransom that nobody is able to pay. A Russian soldier is also a prisoner of Chechens but he ain't worth a dime. So the Briton and the Russian are let go - the former is told to come up with the ransom while his girlfriend stays with Chechens, the latter is sent with a message to hurry up the exchange of a Russian officer for the imprisoned brother of the Chechen warlord. Naturally, there is not enough money to buy back the British girl and no will on the part of Russians to exchange or rescue the Russian officer - so these two who were let go get back to Chechnya on their own accord to settle the affair in the Brat-2 style. With even bigger guns. Those who expect another art-house movie like Of Freaks and Men will be very dissapointed. This movie is as one-dimensional as they come: Chechens are evil, Russians are corrupt, Westerners and the press are hypocritical, Russian army is incompetent, so it is up to our hero armed only with a shotgun to take upon himself the Chechen war (vojna). At least there is an improvement to the Brat-2 movie - he doesn't have to make a shotgun from a waterpipe and two rolls of duct tape.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Sad puppy goes to Mordor

[6/10 · 26 December 2001]

OK, folks, I was willing to give this movie a shot and just see it as it was coming at me, without going back to the text and wondering how come Glorfindel had a sex-change operation. But even one succeeds in separating Tolkien from the Lord of the Rings s/he still has to face the facts. The facts are: it's a bunch of mediocre actors (save two or three) thrusted into an animated Tolkien calendar. Young Mr. Frodo has only two facial expressions - sad puppy and happy puppy, and I quickly grew tired of both. Galadriel needs some cheap special effect to show the transformation as she measures herself up to the One Ring - people used to ACT this sorta stuff, you know. Gimli can only growl under all that makeup - good thing though, since his role has been reduced to a mere cartoon, his as well as those of Legolas, Merry and Pippin. The plot has been dumbed down, in two major ways: 1) the only way Jackson can show a conflict is to film a fight - everybody fights in this flick, Gandalf takes on Saruman, Aragorn goes into a swordfight with the Nazguls, Lurtz gets written into the script only to be hacked to pieces, etc. 2) there is no internal struggle, for anyone but especially for Frodo - he volunteers to be a Ring-bearer because everybody else is having a fight at the Council, he does not face Nazguls - at the Weathertop he just cowers under their gazes, at the Ford he gets carried away by Arwen, he does not ponder taking his friends to Mordor - they are running away from farmer Maggot anyways, why don't go to Mordor as long as they are at it? Stuff just happens in this movie. Altogether it's a sad story of how great special effects were wasted on one lil' director's lil' thoughts. Maybe if he wasn't so short he would not be so fond of cheap melodrama and Aragorn would be spared his (Jackson's) inferiority complex...

Blokpost (1999)

Definitely worth a look

[8/10 · 30 August 2001]

Blokpost stands out among recent features from Russia bridging the gap between the few artsies and an overflow of low-end thrillers. The script is decent as is the acting (apart from Buldakov's). Mebby I had too much of Bodrov Jr. lately but it's a pleasure to find that there are young Russian actors who can sound differently on different occasions throughout the movie. The movie is a story of a platoon of Russian Army, stationed in an unnamed but recognizeable rebel province, where it is to emulate peacekeepers and to provide military presence for "Moscow" at the same time. The storyline spans less than a couple of weeks spent on a remote outpost (blokpost) where the soldiers are given the task of checking locals for weapons. Platoon is largely forgotten apart from the investigation for the shooting of a civilian and a rebel sniper nearby. The story is somewhat wittingly narrated by one of the soldiers, the Bones (Skelet) but is filmed as a third-person view. As was noted by some the ending is quite predictable, and the not very cunningly hang rifle (an SVU in this case) shoots right where it's supposed to in full compliance with Chekhov's formula. But overall the movie is definitely worth a look.

The Replacements (2000)

You know, it was fun

[8/10 · 5 August 2000]

I was surprised at my own reaction, but The Replacements was a real fun. It is formulaic, predictable and all that, but without asking for much it delivers inobtrusive entertainment. A standard Hollywood story of a pack of underdogs, packed with locker room humor and cute, strippers-turned-cheerleaders girls - perfect recipe for a rainy summer evening. Well, come to think of it the story isn't that standard (don't worry, you'll still have the girls and the jokes). The underdogs - they stay underdogs, they don't get litesabers or turn out to be some crack team of Australian football players. So you don't get one of these hard-to-believe Hollywood plots, as in dozens of other sport movies. It's ain't your dad's Dirty Dozen, not even Madden's Dirty Dozen. As it saz in the movie, the guys really have no tomorrow - they are there just as the replacement players, so they might as well just have some fun. Did they? I dunno. I did. Then I went and rented Fireworks again, to polish my taste buds :)

The Perfect Storm (2000)

Waterworld-2...

[1/10 · 7 July 2000]

OK, I did not expect the depth of Bergman's movies, or Fellini's great eye for misanscene, actually as more and more often nowdays I went to the local multiplex to be entertained, to wash off the sweat of dayly labors in the waves of a great maritime adventure... And what a wash-out did I get... EVERYTHING you heard about this flick in the negative reviews (and it's collected quite a few of those) is true, and then some. The plot is so formulaic that the characters look like the pre-production cartoon cut-outs that never got cgi-animated. Frankly, even counting some really bad "erotic" flicks on the Cinemax I never saw such a generic cast of characters... Hell, they didn't even have a single bad guy in the entire movie, everybody's "good inside" - which the director gets out of his way to impress on the unweary within 15 seconds you first meet them. The one-liners are soo bad they would make Disney's Alladin look subtle and sophisticated. The special effects... well, if you like big waves there is about 15 minutes of footage that'll make you happy. The first half of the movie barely drags through a set of "relationships", that are bland, predictable, and did I say - formulaic? See, these two guys are at each other throats on the land - I wonder what happens if one of them goes overboard? Anyway, I was leaving the theater thinking :Should have fixed that ice machine ahead of time, that'll teach ya!"

Mrs. Brown (1997)

Great costume drama, well acted and paced

[5 June 2000]

I must admit that I ever since watching Billy Connolly deliver his take on the country song at Her Majesty's I don't know any actor whom I'd be more glad to see in just about any movie. In Mrs. Brown his gift for comedy comes across as strong as ever but is complemented by the great dramatic acting, which is more than can be said about many a recent comics-turned-movie actors. Or many bona fide movie actors, to tell you the truth. Connolly's duo with Dame Dench is matched perfectly, as the ice and the fire - often taking turns. Many historic films tend to drag their feet at times - or at all times - trying to get the period details in, but not this one. The movie is paced fast enough and offers enough dramatism throughout. The supporting cast is delightful, incl. Antony Sher - who for me forever will be the locksmith Loki from Eric the Viking - very believable as Disraeli.

9 out of 10.

The Madness of King George (1994)

A darkly film, not quite your Three Musketeers "history" piece

[5 June 2000]

I positively loved Hawthorne in this movie, thanks to him King's madness is quite palpable, emotional rather then clinical. Ian Holm charms as always - this time as a rather driven/bordering on sadism "doctor", whose elaborate system of punishment was impressed on King George by sadistic and yet so well meaning party of the King. Nice thing about this movie is the absense of the clear-cut villains - even the Prince ain't that bad. It's rather a story of one's power slipping away from everywhere but the very surface, a fable of the King in no more than the name, driven to the edge of misery by intrusive politicians and abusive doctors. As such it has it's depressing moments - don't expect a Hollywoodish romp of the Iron Mask or Musketeers.

Brat 2 (2000)

Cross between Doom and the original Brat

[8/10 · 26 May 2000]

The second installment (well, you don't really expect Balabanov to stop milking this storyline, do you?) in the Brat series is more expensive and it shows. The movie is glitsier and the guns are bigger, as is the body count. Basically, the plot is as simple and formulaic as it gets - an unlikely Russian Duke Nukem Danila Bagrov goes after the killers of his war-time friend. Reunited with his "brother" from the original Brat, played by Victor Sukhorukov, Danila runs, shoots and blows up things - now THIS side of the Pond. This is dynamic movie, done much better than most contemporary Russian imports, and is anything but politically correct - be it the mounting body count or the amount of racial slur. In the first movie Bagrov's contempt of the "dark-skinned" people was evident in one small episode, in this one he really gets going at - what's the word? - African-Americans :) But unless you are that deep into PC go see this movie - it's like watching somebody really good playing Doom, over his shoulder.

Still Crazy (1998)

Feel-good movie that feels good

[10/10 · 12 January 2000]

Still Crazy has been compared to the Spinal Tap since both are comedies about wash-up R&R groups. Actually, here the similarity ends because Still Crazy is much better written and acted out, whereas Spinal Tap script deteriorates from the mildly amusing first 10 min into a drivel that makes Beavis and Butthead to appear sophisticated in comparison. Still Crazy is formulaic but the likability of the characters and the unexpectedly high quality of some musical numbers for me managed to offset the a priori predictability of the movie. People who expect Spinal Tap-like attempt on satire would be disappointed by the light-hearted nature of the movie, but I'd take a successful self-ironic romp of Still Crazy over a pompous but failed shot at satire which is Spinal Tap.

Heat (1995)

Cut in two it could have been watchable

[20 September 1999]

Incredibly cheesy movie with extremely dragged out plot. Cops with dysfunctional families and robbers who have girlfriends - who could have thought... De Niro repeating essentially the same lines and smirks, Al Pacino showcasing this acting talents by raising or lowering his voice... And all that stretched for 170 min. ? As Al's alter ego saz repeatedly in this banality bonanza of a movie - "Don't waste my mother... time!"

The 13th Warrior (1999)

A beginning of beautiful friendship

[29 August 1999]

A tribe of Zuluesque cannibals in the Northern woods, with 1 (one) woman and paleolythic (ahaa, ANCIENT!) sculptures menace Viking village... Only Crighton can come up with a balderdash like that. But although this ain't no 7th Seal, or 7 Samurais, or The 8th Day, the movie ain't as bad as it sounds. The imagery is quite remarkable, the actors playing Vikings are quite up to the challenge, decent camerawork somewhat rescues the mudded plot... The movie has its moments - 2 to be precise, the selection of the warrior "rescue team" and the prayer before the battle. Just relax and enjoy the body parts flying everywhere - it ain't much, but it has not got Jar Jar either... 6 out of 10

The Thief (1997)

A remnant of past cinematographic glory

[5 July 1999]

Chukhrai is one of the premier "Soviet" directors still but not overly active when the Russian cinema all but died under the flood of foreign and domestic "blockbusters". The movie is directed and acted out better then most recent arrivals from Russia, incl. those of Bodrov Sr. (Brother and Prisoner of the Mountains). The story of a single mother with a 6year old unwillingly serving as a cover to a daring but still petty thief is fairly simple but rather moving and acting by the three leading characters is remarkable. With all the superlatives dispensed to young Mr. Filipchuk I must add that the character/visual transformation of The Thief himself towards the end of the movie deserves a great deal of credit. In many ways this movie reminds me of a much older one, called Podranki, which I recommend wholeheartedly to all who enjoyed this one.

The Tin Drum (1979)

More German than a doberman

[8/10 · 5 July 1999]

As good anime is not anime without an alien/demon raping a school girl, a good German movie can't do without some creepy sex scene of its own (minus the demon, enter a dwarf). I would not call it a pornography as did some, for it's no more exciting than those eels slithering out of the horse head. As with many other German movies the main idea of this one is to do everything on the screen that you mutter does not let you to do in the living room. What was Olbrychski to do in this movie is beyond me as is the point of having a French-Armenian singer Aznavour playing a Jewish store owner. The plot is definitely overcast by overqualified actors and drags clumsily towards the all too distant end. This movie is both depressing and engrossing (in more ways than one), its take on Nazism is shallow even compared to Chaplin's Great Dictator, but one way or another it's a part of a cinema experience if you ever to have one.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

I'm not sure this thing is a movie...

[24 June 1999]

but it surely does not suck. Well, it really does not have an end - I guess the boys got simply booted from that Scottish village they abused so grossly in making of this movie. It has sort of a beginning - when Arthur gets the quest from the God - but then it all deteriorates into meaningless wonderings of a bunch of violent knights through a landscape, slashing the lesser foes and running away from the bigger ones. Which was what King Arthur's quest probably was anyway. But the jabs Graham Chapman & Co take at everything along their mindless and ruinous path are truly hilarious and that what sells this thing for me. I don't think The Holy Grail belongs to the bona fide cinematography but it definitely belongs to my video collection.

Chyornaya roza - emblema pechali, krasnaya roza - emblema lyubvi (1990)

One of the most disturbingly funny romantic comedies

[22 June 1999]

Well, if you if you value your last remnants of sanity do not watch this one. I consider Soloviev as one of the greatest movie directors of the Later Days Commissars Regime. In this one he repeatedly pokes our collective mirror reflection with a sharp stick in the eye. This movie is absurd and beautiful at the same time. American public should have no trouble understanding it - after legalization of LSD that is.

Rasputin (1981)

Better than American take on it, but still sucks

[5/10 · 22 June 1999]

I must say that for me no other director is even getting close to the level of annoyance of Mr. Klimov. I like Petrenko and the is guy really trying to get this stuff off the ground but even such heavyweight as him can't pull this off. Rent it if you have seen the other one - for the full measure but Elem bores the hell out of me with his predictability.

Bezymyannaya zvezda (1979 TV Movie)

Riches and paupers - again

[9/10 · 22 June 1999]

A classic story with a comic twist - a high society call girl due to some mishap with tickets on some super-express ends up on a small station, without even a restaurant and where a station-master kindly offers her a share of a roasted "duck that was run over by a train just the other day". She - of course - falls in love with a local teacher who is cute but hasn't got a two pennies to rub together and there you go. Will she stay or will she ride her other boyfriend's Jaguar in the sunset?.. Acting is better than a romantic story really warrants and the script is rather witty but not a guy movie.

The Dawns Here Are Quiet (1972)

Not your average WWII movie

[22 June 1999]

A rather touching WWII story of a platoon of women volunteers under a command of some invalid deeply in Russian territory on some nonsensical mission who suddenly find themselves in the thick of the war after a surprise dissent of German paratroopers.

Artemisia (1997)

The movie that was not

[7/10 · 30 May 1999]

The movie looked like a walk-through for "Immoral Study". Most likely I never got much involved with the burning need of the female artist to immortalize male nudes and thus all that fuss about "Now, who drew this penis?!" sounded a bit gratuitous. Dialogues in this movie are rather dreadful, albeit visually this movie got its moments. I almost dig it when Tassi got into painting a mental picture but then movie weered back onto penises. Highly recommended to those who has not seen one in a while.

Burnt by the Sun (1994)

A remarkable movie

[9/10 · 30 May 1999]

Mikhalkov did everybody good in this movie, I suspect too good, for some things look too well crafted - like the metaphora of that silly truck driver that pops up here and there looking for the village he'll never find. But for most part movie works. It's not exactly about Stalin, or even repressions, of which there are but glimpses in the movie, but basically about that bad things you do unto others come to haunt you in a while. Thus it is more of a moral tale than a historic account and whether it was based on the true story or not is immaterial because there are thousand stories like that happening every day. Nevertheless, Mikhalkov succeeds in creating a very eerie historic atmosphere for his tale set in the time of Stalin's repressions picking up the speed. 9/10.

Zazie in the Metro (1960)

That's how Roadrunner cartoon would look like on caffeine

[8/10 · 23 May 1999]

Frankly, in the world of corny jokes and lightweight punchlines of the Hollywood comedies I hunger for the good old French physical comedy. Malle is one of the best ju-ju men in the business and in Zazie laughs never stop. Actually, in this movie anything ever stops as people are running rather then walking and driving rather than sitting still. The story is quite simple, a little girl is sent by her mother to Paris to her uncle and the only thing she wants really is to see subway (metro). Of course she runs away, of course everybody starting after her, of course there are some dumb cops and sinister-looking strangers... Or maybe I got it all wrong for having laughed so hard I could not read the subtitles (and my French would barely guide me through a menu in some bistro). Think of it as a live action Roadrunner movie on caffeine...

Ninja Scroll (1993)

Anime at its best, and it's not Pokemon

[9/10 · 20 May 1999]

barring Mononoke Hime, of course. Ninja Scroll is an outstanding achievement in animation, not just anime. In many instances - like the fireflies' ravine scene or the night battle in the beginning of the movie - the film is technically superb, far superseding anything that Disney or the Dreamworks ever came up with (or can be expected to come up with, considering their gravitation towards an 8-year old audience). The plot has more twists and turns than your average anime slashing flick and enough to give your system a good adrenaline flush. It is a rather bloody movie, but I would not call it gratuitously violent - somebody had to chop people up, right? There are only 2 and remarkably low-key sex scenes which is a welcomed change from some other anime titles (you all know what they are) bent on depicting in needles anatomical detail endless alien/devil rape scenes... This movie is a must for anime fans as well as for those who want to be introduced to this genre - I'd highly recommend Ninja Scroll over Sailor Moon, if you know what I mean.

Zvezda plenitelnogo schastya (1975)

A great costume drama

[8/10 · 15 May 1999]

This movie spans a few years around year 1825 when a group of Russian officers prepared, failed and were prosecuted for a coup to establish a constitutional monarchy in Russia. Historical realities however are the least of concerns for the director who concentrated instead of timeless issues of love, betrayal, and honor. Well acted and fast paced movie with a star cast sporting names like Smoktunovsky, Batalov, Kostolevsky etc. Highly recommended.

Uvidet Parizh i umeret (1993)

A movie that was not

[5/10 · 2 May 1999]

A potential for a great social commentary on absurd world of soviet "internationalist" state lost in bad acting and script laced with trivialities and cliches. Few good moments every now and then - something one would expect from Lyubshin and Vasilieva - but overall a rather dissapointing movie.

The Matrix (1999)

Juvenile trash

[5/10 · 2 May 1999]

OK, OK, the trailer sold this movie, but to have this monistic babble at #18 spot of ALL the cinema?!! I give you that Matrix is better than Arma-hehe-don or Starship Bloopers of last year but to seriously consider this live action comics, where special effects barely leave time to dreadful rendering of cartoon guide to philosophy a bona fide movie is too much.