Leonhart-PL Reviews

Sting (2024)

Very satisfying old school creature feature

[7/10 · 23 May 2024]

Very good creature feature made with taste, style and visual gusto.

Some visual narrative and camera work reminds me of early del Toro or Peter Jackson. There's a czechov's gun narrative tool used like it should be. Threre are comic books, there's father daughter relationship, quirky characters and delightful gore.

They don't make movies like that anymore.

Absolutely masterful in its simplicity, playful with its self awareness. Well acted all around with surprisingly solid lead girl.

Love me some Australian horror, and this one fully delivers.

If you like the above mentioned elements, you won't be disappointed.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Haters gonna hate....hard.

[7/10 · 30 June 2011]

So. I consider myself a movie fan, I'm 30, I am not a fan of Transformers franchise, I didn't watch cartoons, read some comics as a kid, had one toy.

Now. I saw it yesterday in IMAX, and wanted to sum up my experience in few bulletpoints considering how horrified I was with all the hate here. Not a fan of Bay too (I love The Rock though), but I like his films as I like to go to a theme park or a zoo - simple entartainment.

1. 3d was excellent. It was used for pure fun and joy of the viewer and not just to throw axes and shoot bullets into your eyes. Also I liked the brightness, and as a side note my eyes hurt much less than say on Avatar, and movie is almost 160 mins long.

2. F@ck the cardboard characters, I did not expect much and was there only for pure brainless kaboom action, which I got. The human baddie was weak though, and I still have no idea what Malkovich was doing there.

3. The girl. I see many of you demand Hellen Miren or Meryl Streep acting qualities from a chick in a Bay movie. I expect MY girl to be smart, intelligent and pretty, but in Bay movie she can be brainless idiot and seriously I do not care - so why so much whining? Don't understand.

4. The design. I see people bitch1n on the robots' design. What the f@ck where you expecting? Megatron transforming into giant gun? In my opinion, seeing how lazy production designers happen to be nowadays (see Skyline, or Green Lantern) the overall look of robots' devices, ships was t1ts.

5. Unlikable main protagonist. Wait... what? He was a pure everyman - b1tchy, frustrated and tired of how the world is constructed, looking for a job being pressed by parents and having issues in his relationship with a girl. I do not see any difference between him and guy posting rant SaM WUZ soooo 1RRRR1TAT1ING ZOMG WHAT A F@G GOT.

6. CGI. The composition was far superior to Avatar, I have not noticed any "low-res" textures that people complain about. I saw every dollar spent on this movie on the screen. Few scenes were done with so much taste that I was really proud of Bay (re: scene introducing Megatron, and dialog between Sentinel and Optimus about the latter being now the mentor since he's been on Earth long). The squirrel people jumping off the burning plane gave me goosebumps and that was what I expected from this ride (because I do not consider it a serious movie.)

Now. Having addressed these few issues I would also like to add I really loved the one sweet moment - in the highway chase scene there was a significant zoom on the rear view mirror of the car with standard OBJECTS IN A REARVEIW MIRROR MAY APPEAR CLOSER THAN THEY ARE text being shown with blurred bots in the background. Well it was a song by Meat Loaf for which Bay made a cool video and I truly loved this little trivia.

Closing my wall of text - and I know a lot shall not even bother to read it - I quietly ask you guys: do not overanalyze this. It's fun summer action flick, more of an experience than a film, a mixtape of cool action clishes for a tweleve year old in every one of us. Much better than the second one, and maybe even the first - but hey! stop analyzing! Cheer up and stop hating, life is better without hate isn't it?

PS. Buzz Aldrin scene was so touching and directed with great taste. Brilliant.

Lost in Space (1998)

Way too sweet, way too far from good sf, good family flick though

[6/10 · 3 July 2005]

I remember watching it in the cinema back in 1998 with my girlfriend. I was 19, and starved for good, intelligent sf movie. I remember I wasn't paying too much attention to this movie, I watched it again later, now I can say I've seen it a few times on TV or DVD. I haven't seen the original US series, but the movie is a nice family flick, the bad thing is that it wasn't meant to be one. Le Blanc is quite cool as an action hero I was very surprised not seeing him doing some action flick in the next years. All in all it's a warm popcorn movie, with Gary Oldman, who is in a way catoonish villain, Will Hurt as a serious father gone too much interested in his work. Both are fine actors, both weren't themselves in this one. Special effects are quite nice for those times, though the creature animation is a bit corny. And one more thing - why for God's sakes they used this CGI-monkey-like creature?! It was way too sweet. Like the whole movie.

Bells of Innocence (2003)

One of the worst movies I've seen in my entire life

[2/10 · 30 June 2005]

OK, I'm 26 so I've been thru all the action heroes 80's hype, and Chuck Norris along with Seagal, Van Damme and the rest of the guys were my childhood heroes, fighting the bad guys, shooting dozens of bullets from one round only;) I saw the advert of this movie on TV a couple of days ago - Chuck Norris was throwing some fireballs from his fingers. WHOA! 'That is a must-see crappy movie!', I said. And indeed it was. Only a lot lot worse. It is very difficult to see all the movie - stuffed with some religious thoughts, ridiculous zombie-like monsters, who serve Satan, all the idea of a plot set in some forgotten community, which represent whole mankind - it is a load of Christian fundamentalist's wet dreams.

I've nothing against Christianity, even in the movies, but this one lacks taste, it lacks almost everything that connects with a common sense, c'mon, Chuck Norris playing an ANGEL, whose job is to look after little town, where Satan lives?!?! The whole plot is so damn straight and boring, not mentioning its silliness (yes, it's not stupidity anymore, we're talking silliness like... like a retarded child's joke) make altogether terrible movie, made as far as I suppose for elder people very much devoted to Catholic Church, because young viewers laugh at almost every scene. Technically it's incorrect, the fx are worse than the ones you've seen in early 90's in TV series, the plot seems VERY stupid, actors could be easily exchanged to cardboard stands, not mentioning the music which as far as I've heard was played on a childish toy piano. I've seen a lot of movies, even the worst ones (the ones from the IMDb bottom list) like 'Space Mutiny' or 'Manos - hands of fate' BUT believe me nothing compares to this ridiculous, terrible, horribly acted quasi-movie which brings some students' prank movies to my mind rather than regular production. Avoid it. At all cost avoid it. There's even nothing to laugh at. Chuck Norris has officially finished his movie career.

Final Voyage (1999)

Awful movie made for no one

[1/10 · 12 April 2005]

That nasty pack of clichés, plagiarism, terrible acting and really, really, really clumsy plot isn't watchable. I can at least guess, because it's definitely not for teenagers, 'couse they're gonna laugh at almost every scene (for some time, because THIS movie isn't even funny in the way Ed Wood movies can be), older viewers will easily spot all the plot holes, bad acting and terrible idea. I had the doubtful pleasure of watching this flick at late night on the polish TV... and found it very difficult to enjoy it in any way.

Even for a B (C? D?... E?... um...) or DTV movie it's waaaaaay below the bottom line. It is much worse then Steven Seagal's movies. Don't waste your time on such trash.

Into the Sun (2005)

Regular Seagal DTV movie, but...

[7/10 · 29 March 2005]

...but that doesn't mean it's awful. Let's be honest - this former action star hasn't had any great productions lately... His movies made in the cheapest way in Europe looked like... well... eastern European movies, and believe me - I'm from Poland (btw Seagal made two movies here)- these movies suck. But INTO THE SUN took me for a ride I enjoyed a lot when I was a kid. Film's got this feeling of OUT FOR JUSTICE or even a little bit of NICO. I don't know, maybe it's the setting (Tokyo looks beautiful in movies but we all know it looks better in Lost In Translation than in Steven's movie), maybe it's the quasi-realism of Yakuza (achived mostly by casting weird English speaking Japanese hacks), maybe it's a taste of honour and revenge, which are vaguely used, but they are.

Seagal looks much better, he got thinner, he fights more, there's even a love scene, which to my big surprise happened to look not as clumsy as I supposed i would. The action sequences are mostly indoor fight scenes, and these are directed well. Let's not discuss the acting. PLEASE - if I watch Seagal's movie I don't do that for great dramatic roles and teary monologues... I just wanna see some arms and legs being broken. And that's what I got. In far more better style than in his last movies. I think Seagal is getting his ticket back to business right now. I wonder if he spoils the occasion to hit big screen or not. All in all I wish him all the best, cause while my favourite cinema doesn't involve breaking dozens of arms, I like these video-old-fashioned-style-made movies. As a regular movie it's 4,5/10, for a guilty pleasure video action movie I give it 7/10.

King Arthur (2004)

Gladiator meets Braveheart... and it's awesome mixture - believe me!

[8/10 · 29 July 2004]

"King Arthur" could be dangerously too close to Troy or LOTR, where millions of computer-generated men fought in well orchestrated but still fantasy battles. It could be but it's not. What we got is good directing, believable battles with living actors that can be counted on the screen, nice script with an interesting idea (Arthur is a roman army officer guarding Rome's outposts in Britain), very fine acting with some great characters (Bors, played by Ray Winstone - Will Scarlet from old Robin Hood English series, Clive Owen, Mads Mikkelsen as Lancelot and last but not least Keira Knightley - still a little bit wooden and cartoonish but damn she's got a lot of charisma as brave Guinevere). The plot itself is just a simple construction to show us some unforgettable battle scenes (the one on the frozen lake will remain in your mind for quite a long time - I can assure you) and moments of great valour, bravery and real friendship between seven knights who remind me "Magnificent Seven".

You'll watch the movie on one breath, it's an entertaining and wise story about values that passed away with their bearers. It's strong 8 out of 10 for me.

Deathwatch (2002)

Complete waste of time

[7 January 2004]

Don't be fooled by the synopsis -it's very promising but happens to be very dissappointing. Through all the movie I got the feeling it's an episode of a Twilight Zone-like series, streched to 94mins to fit a regular movie time. First half is interesting, the atmosphere is great and even bad acting (the one brilliant exception is Andy Serkis playing a psycho killer who went to war just for killing people) can't spoil the mystery. But when it comes to the other half the movie starts to repeat similiar scenes, annoys with outstandin stupid characters (the main hero acts in a most annoying way, all he does is so damn impossible stupid), you start thinking 'man, it's way too long' and than it finishes with the ending most predicted and dumb. Nothing can make me recommend this movie to anyone except worst enemies - it's total crap, special f/x suck like hell. Avoid it at all cost!!!

The Dead Zone (1983)

Truly Brilliant

[8/10 · 7 January 2004]

It's a great thriller, kind of Fincher/Nolan style: dark, heavy, and without happy end. Walken's acting is superb, all supporting characters have been cast with great actors. Music is only a background for a great plot. It's a must-see for all thriller/mystery lovers.

Dark Water (2002)

Far more scary and sophisticated

[8/10 · 5 January 2004]

I think that 'Honogurai mizu no soko kara' is better than 'Ringu', I was deeply moved by the story of alone mother confronting a gost/lost soul of a lone daughter. The atmosphere is very gloomy and sticky, the fear of the main character gives you the creeps, and keeps you intense to the very last scene, though you can know the ending in about half of the movie. The music is great and climatic, there's a lot of light work making some shoots very interesting - it's quite a big thing to film a regular building of flats so it looks a lot more disturbing than an old cliche haunted mansion. The ending leaves you with a shadow of anxiety and many thoughts.

That's one of the best japanese horrors I've seen, and one of the greatest thrillers I've ever seen - no wonder holywood is preparing a remake 'cause the idea is awesome. If you like to be afraid - and I mean AFRAID - see this film without hesitation. It simply can't dissappoint you.

-9/10-

Maniac (1980)

Damn what a wasted effort...

[25 December 2003]

This movie is a complete waste of good, suspensive acting, great Tom Savini's special-gore-effects, and quite a fresh for these times idea. The thing which makes this film crappy is boring, irritating and much too simple plot. Plot? Come on! The movie is about a serial killer, but the following scenes we see are just murders one-by-one, though shown with much atmosphere, suspense and gore-like-blood-and-guts-everywhere style, it's too boring and simply stupid. The movie lacks a plot of for example a cop, or journalist who follows the maniac's trail. Don't be fooled by the fact that later from the same director we had brilliant Maniac Cop series. This movie sucks and it isn't worth seeing just for the marvelous blowing head scene. Avoid it - 2/10.

Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970)

One of the most over rated sci-fi thrillers ever

[24 December 2003]

I think the movie was a b-class movie then, in 1970, when the cold war hysteria was so fed up with such thrillers as Colossus. But now we can watch it from the other angle, as one of the greatest sci-fi of these times, with great acting, with popular these times dividing the screen with many shots (Ang Lee tried to revive this method in 'Hulk'), and music so horrifying it gives us creeps.

Great movie - 8/10 for me!