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wizairde
Reviews
King Kong (2005)
Lame - King Bomb
A friend of mine asked me to see this movie. And I did so, despite my hesitations. I shouldn't have. It was definitely three hours of lost time for me. The acting was really over-the-top. The plot was extremely lame. The humor was stupid. The lines were way too predictable. The only good parts were the nice graphics, and some decent looking guys. lol The end was fairly decent, maybe the last 30 minutes. But, it was shattered by Jack Black's last lame line. I didn't care for the original black and white version of this movie. Which probably doesn't help matters. It astounds me this movie is ranked so high here on IMDb.
Definitely a skipper.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Horrible
This movie was terrible. If they were trying to be funny like Monty Python, severely missed the mark. I'm all for random humor, but the attempts at humor weren't even funny. If it was an attempt to be philosophical.. pfft.
Don't waste your time on it. Pointless.
Something akin to a spoiler here..
Mice.. I get the attempted correlation of them being 'the smartest being' But it was too little (pun sort of intended) too late.
Whole plot lines would just stop with a button push. 'Oh we're being targeted by missiles..' (button push) Lame. That isn't plot. It's just bad writing.
Like I said, it is a waste of time to see - take up basket weaving or something.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
I heard both sides...
I eyed this movie for quite awhile before seeing it just now. Everything I saw as far as clips and such were just not funny to me. I had many friends claiming it was hilarious and quoting lines that made no sense to me. Usually, if I watch a movie with low expectations, I'm surprised and like it. That just wasn't the case here, the most the movie ever got was a few weak 'heh's.
It was actually more depressing than funny. I gave it a fair chance, and it was 'blah.' Apparently, on this one, its either love it or hate it.
I've seen several on here say they're tired of the Hollywood main stream, and I agree. Movies anymore seem rehashed. So, I understand the desire for original comedy -- but this wasn't it for me.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Most awful movie ever
So I'm sitting at home bored. Thinking that I'll catch up on some of the movies folks have recommended. And others I've wanted to see. So I decide to fork out 4$ for the Day After Tomorrow on the Cox pay per view channel.
GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK What in the CRAP?!!?!?! This is the single most awful movie I've ever seen. I thought that lame-o shark movie was bad, no, this is worse.
Didn't even think there could be a movie worse than Open Water. The mind boggles.
This is the crappiest movie I've ever seen. How it ever ended up produced is beyond me.
Take the stupidest, most awful elements of Armageddon, Volcano, Twister, and every other bad weather movie you've ever seen and you have Day After Tomorrow. It is SO bad that it is still playing downstairs while I'm typing this. Even though I paid for it. CRAPPY.
The black man/dog, weird tremors, every bad element and more from the above mentioned movies is here. WHY? Why god, why is this movie in existence. THAT is how awful it is.
DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE.
If I hadn't paid the money for it, I'd have stopped the movie. I may as well have since I'm not watching it and just online upstairs. This is insane. Who makes this CRAP.
After the Sunset (2004)
Not bad if you like Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
This movie was typical Pierce Brosnan, the girl too hot for a man his age, kind of a lame humor that you still laugh at, and unlimited access to the exact tools you need to steal something...available on the Atlantis Resort... right. Is this what they call type casting? If so, he's in big trouble.
It was good, not great, played much like the Thomas Crown Affair remake of 1999. It's worth seeing if you get a good rate (3-5$), but there are no surprises. And for pete's sake someone put him opposite a woman his age. It was like watching someone (Selma) make out with their dad. ::cringe::
The Forgotten (2004)
Not bad, go see it, won't make my DVD collection
A few possible spoilers here.
This is odd -- having not heard anyone make this connection -- I commented as I was leaving the show that "this is how M. Night Shyamalan should do his movies, leave out his name and make it good." LOL Now I see all these connections to Sixth Sense in reviews. I don't know why either, as some have commented, maybe the Signs connection? I don't know.
It's a good movie, go see it. Though someone should tell movie makers that not everything has to have a happy ending. And that aliens can be invincible without being able to shatter whole glass buildings with a scream. (Note: Dreammaker was good until the point they showed the weasel thing.) Resist, resist, you don't have to show the creepy things. This one ALMOST made it, the bullets were fine, the face with the scream? no.
Also, someone should let movie makers know they don't have to include all the good jumpy parts in previews! Stop! It'd have been great if I didn't know three of the four big good jumps.
But kudos on making the whole theater gasp at on point. You could have done it more. Why include the roof scene and the lake scene in the preview? It just gives it away.
Regardless, I have to say again, go see it. But I won't be getting the DVD.
Home Fries (1998)
Bleh
This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Barrymore lays yet another egg. Why doesn't she just quit already?
It's a good movie if you're bored watching grass grow.
Mean, I know. But the movie just comes off trashy and boring. Highlighting a life let's hope is found only in the most remote of places anymore.
More like brain fried, just check the rating, which is high at 4.9 or whatever it is now.
Enough hatefulness, you've been warned. Use your money to rent that C- movie you've been intrigued with.
Meet Joe Black (1998)
It's usually in my top 5
This is one of my more favored films. The two leading ladies really capture you. Anthony Hopkins is also a pretty classy actor (though why he did the Chris Rock movie is beyond me). Brad is okay, but mostly I think just eye candy.
Yes, this is a remake, please do get over that. They happen, let them stand on their own merit, and forgive them when they try to recycle too much of the original. For me the story wasn't about death the character, but about Hopkins' character. I'd probably have put the title of the movie something closer to "A Life's Worth" -- that's what I took from it.
Yah, it is long too. So? What're you doing with that extra 30-60 minutes of your life the movie took, writing a gripe on IMDb? LOL!
I also do not do the tears for a movie bit, I think three have ever done it. And this is one of them, and its the rare one that can do it to me repeatedly. Not always, but sometimes. Maybe its the father story and my own personal experience.
Tombstone (1993)
I wouldn't call this a western
I wouldn't call this a western.
I hate westerns, I won't watch them and I know I'm not the only person of this mentality. It's the brute, stubborn unwillingness to see westerns that controls me. I've seen them, thanks to my western loving grandfather, but I do not like them.
I don't like westerns, but I own this one. heh
So, that's why I wouldn't call this a western, because you won't find my DVD case stuffed with Autrey, John Wayne or any of the rest. I won't admit that I own a western, so plain and simple, this one is not.
It's a good movie, the one-liners will have you quoting them over and over. So, go pick it up, draw the blinds (so no one will see.. I mean for optimal movie watching) and enjoy.
GATTACA (1997)
Always First When Asked What My Favorite Movie Is
Gattaca is almost always the first movie I rattle off when someone asks me what my favorite movie is. If not the first, always in the top five as I can never say just one.
What makes it great? The story I guess. I always just watch in wonder, because, like any good story that grabs you and pulls you in, it just seems real.
Suspension of disbelief is a key part to any movie for me. Enough that the story entertains me for what I expect. Probably why most horror flicks don't do it for me. lol
Watch it, if you regret it, I'm sorry -- but I've yet to meet any other movie fan in person who didn't agree that it is a great movie. Someone wondered why it wasn't in the top 250, I wholeheartedly agree. More like top 50.
Far and Away (1992)
Good movie, one of my top five
This makes my top five typically. It's a good movie, you find yourself liking the characters and rooting for them while booing the bad guys. It's probably not for everyone, takes some attention span to make the length, which I'm sure some of the detractors writing negative reviews lack.
It's a fun movie, enjoy it and stop analyzing. Yah, there's some flaws, trust, I've lived in Oklahoma my whole life and the "pretty" parts they show in the movie aren't what I'm used to. lol
For me it just ended up endearing, and somewhere along the road it meant a little bit to me. And I'm content with that. ::shrug::
Open Water (2003)
Worst Movie Ever
I have seen some really reallllllly bad 'horror' films. Blair Witch, The Ring, Matrix 2, Rules of Attraction, (wait I said horror not horrible..) pretty much any Halloween film. LOL You go to see them because they're so ridiculous, that they are funny and at times they make you jump. This film makes the above mentioned stinkers look like cinema goldmines.
I waited and waited for something interesting to happen, zz zz zz.. Last 10 minutes were something 3rd graders could write. Roll credits.
---SPOILER--- (trust me I'm not spoiling anything....)
How can a movie where the only witnesses die w/ no evidence of anything be called 'based on true events.' I'm sorry but that story could have happened to me when I didn't show up to a conference call. "Oh he's not here, he must have drown and been eaten by a shark." No I was getting coffee and was late, but nice theory.
Did they base it on pictures? No offense to the family who apparently lost two loved ones, but did she take pictures of him then had Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo snap a few of her before chowing down?
To that family I have to say, I hope making a story up like that in some way consoles them. I personally think there's not an ounce of dignity in killing yourself, what a crappy ending. Who wouldn't fight for their life until they just couldn't in hopes of being saved? If that woman was of such strong character as they made it out to be she sure wouldn't have drown herself.
F- you don't need fancy cameras and graphics for a movie, but a story with a point helps.
The Rules of Attraction (2002)
All Time Worst Movie
I just really hated this movie. I'm sorry, I'm sure others disagree for it to have squeaked out an amazing 6.8 (currently) on the rating scale. Yes, I watched it multiple times, since it was a favorite movie of a friend, and I still think it was horrible. Reasons? I'm not really a big fan of a narrative style of movie. Added in that it was just a 'huh I'm on pot exploring sex and I hate everything' movie, right well I lived that (mostly) and I don't see how the experience told by the movie is supposed to be outstanding? I was left thinking, 'right, get over yourself..' I've read blogs that were more interesting. lol
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Here's to # 3
How many times can you say 'Neo, what's wrong, do you want to talk?' I think I counted three times Trinity says this, word for word almost. The beginning is drawn out shooting we've seen before, only slower. Great lead in to the third movie, lets hope it is better. The ghostly guys were the kinds of effects I was expecting the whole movie to come up with, not the repackaged old stuff. Chase scene on the highway was good. The Architect scene was great too. And the ending was good enough that I'm anticipating the next. Overall though, this movie could have been summed up in 15 minutes of the real movie I was looking for. See it, but save your money and see it in a month at the $1.50 theater.