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An error has ocurred. Please try againNote: I have recently decided to add television shows to the list; therefore, over the following weeks, this list may grow dramatically before abruptly stopping at, I estimate, about 5,000.
Additional lists: 10/10: http://www.imdb.com/list/BIp1517cfaQ/ 9/10: http://www.imdb.com/list/rGYz0KlVV0Y/ 8/10: http://www.imdb.com/list/ik136zAQcLQ/
Reviews
Hamm (1977)
Stylish absurdity
Colorful, humorous, and incredibly bizarre, a man goes to a restaurant and gets bigger as he eats. He gets bigger and bigger until he breaks out of the roof, then he wanders the city, then goes to the next cities, and eventually he is too big for the planet, eats the moon and wears Saturn's ring, gobbles up everything in sight and finally comes to the sun. The sun isn't as edible as planets, I suppose, so he ends up turning green and kind of amorphous before he transforms into an egg frying on a pan, then suddenly he's a man going to the restaurant again. I can only surmise that psychedelics were involved in the creation of this cartoon.
A Face in the Crowd (1957)
a mirror into the past wherein our own reflection is shining through clear as day.
A Face in the Crowd, Andy Griffith's film debut from 1957, is a very remarkable film, one which belongs on any progressive's watchlist, up there with and possibly ahead of V for Vendetta and Thank You for Smoking. I was truly struck throughout by how incredibly relevant this film is as a mirror into the past wherein our own reflection is shining through clear as day. Griffith plays Lonesome Rhodes, who is discovered by a radio woman (Patricia Neal) in a local jail and moves on to the big leagues before falling from grace.
My perspective changed over the course of the film, with the first half mostly making me think it should be required viewing in the era of #MeToo for its frank and utterly natural portrayal of sexual harassment in the workplace. What is supposed to be behind closed doors today is shown from behind those doors (and so very out in the open) so many decades ago.
It is a film which works painstakingly to be realist in its minor details, conveying Andy Griffith's country-boy persona before flipping the cameras on the seediness of the popular media and the contempt he holds for the people he's speaking to through the television each day, people who flock to him by the tens of millions ("why do they flock?" You might ask. I don't know. But maybe that's why I'm a lefty).
The parallels in those two points with modern America should be clear enough to indicate its relevance, but they are really just the beginning. Andy Griffith comes an R away from calling himself an influencer throughout the film, drunk with power on how he can move the masses on any whim that into his brain. By the end of his immediate career, he's advising a particularly right wing senator's presidential bid, focusing on appealing to the unheard millions of poor country folks, and dreaming of a job in the cabinet as a propagandist.
Cancel culture is the next theme that shows up. When the woman (Patricia Neal) who created him turns the microphone on live when it should be off, the nation gets to hear him for who he is, mocking them and calling them all sorts of nasty names. Suddenly, the studio and advertisers are flooded with calls, people saying that they are through with Lonesome Rhodes.
Five years ago or even 25 years ago, this film may have seemed quaint and dated, if not still compelling. Today, it's like peering into a crystal ball from the past. Yet the end showed there was both more to come and a stark warning for our immediate future. Showing up at a party in his honor, he's just about the only man in America ignorant of what has just happened, only to learn that he's been cancelled when he finds it empty, save for the black servants.
He begins to rant and ramble and shout. He assaults the men, shaking them and squeezing their cheeks, shouting, "You're going to love me! Do you hear? You're going to love me! You black monkeys! You're going to love me!" He rants and drinks, going on in the most narcissistic and uncannily Trumpian fashion, clamoring out a "Lonesome Rhodes is the people! The people is Lonesome Rhodes!" while the last member of his entourage is playing the laughter machine.
Walter Mathau, who has witnessed the commotion, offers a prediction before leaving with Patricia Neal: That he just has to wait, give it time to cool down, and somebody will take a risk, "try him again in an inexpensive format". A few million people might even watch it, having forgotten all about his remarks that night. For a time, at least, until they grow tired of him and move on to the next face in the crowd. In the end, people will be asking each other, "Honey, do you remember that funny guy from the TV a few years back, Lonesome something or other?"
Finally, as Andy Griffith is screaming from his penthouse, Neal and Mathau are about to get in a taxi. He's screaming for the whole town to hear, "Marcia, come back!" Indecision grips her face. Mathau sees this and offers: "We get wise to them. That's our strength. We get wise to them." People like that only have power if you listen to them. Don't give them power. And off they drive into the asphalt jungle.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 4: Sanctuary (2019)
Brutally cliche-filled drivel
I thought the first three episodes were amazing, some of the best Star Wars we've seen in years. But this episode, which started out strong and was well made, had the most painfully cliched plot. I don't know how many times I have seen this exact trope on TV or in film, probably six or seven at least, including in Clone Wars. That's what makes this so brutal. It's been done before ON STAR WARS!
There was nothing original or creative or new in this iteration of the old, childish trope whatsoever. It was identical to every other piece of fiction where fighters train villagers to take on their oppressors. The lack of anything novel about it was bad enough, but we were just sitting there pointing out to each other all the ways the plot could have played out, but instead they went with the most typical, predictable idea. I'd be ashamed of myself if I'd written this episode.
She diao ying xiong zhuan (2017)
Very good
First of all, if you're like me and of European descent and culture, you must understand that this is not like what you are used to. Everything is different, from etiquette to fashion to the types of moves somebody can make. You have to understand there's a lot of scenes of people gliding on ropes (invisible, of course) as they fight, as well as ideas from Daoism, Buddhism, etc. You must take away your preconceived notions, turn off your prejudices, and try to embrace it as though you are coming at it as a Chinese person, accept all the cultural idiosyncrasies as just the normal way of life, just as our many cultural idiosyncrasies never receive a second thought by us.
I only began watching Chinese dramas on the first of January. This was the second I ever tried, and it was a slow start for me at first, trudging turtle-like through the first couple episodes. But after a few weeks of experimenting with various others (Ever Night and Fights Break Sphere, both of which are also amazing, and Rakshasa Street, which I gave up on), I eventually realized about 15 episodes in that this just blows everything else out of the water.
Chinese dramas are long. This one, at 52 episodes, each about 45 minutes, actually felt pretty short relative to some of the others I've now seen, partially or fully. Tribes and Empires (another one I can't recommend strongly enough) is 75 episodes, while Ever Night is 61. Some are as many as 90 or more, like the upcoming The Fated General (92 episodes reportedly). Some shows get kind of boring midway through, but not this one. It just got better and better.
I've noticed that fate is a recurring, yet unspoken, theme. Often the hero is somebody who, seemingly due to his strong and innate sense of moral justice, is given great opportunities "by the gods" if you will. Perhaps he just happens to fall into a cave and discover an ancient text the words of which offer a key to great power (Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils), or find a document in the stomach of a monkey (The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber). In this case, the hero, Guo Jing, captures the hearts of great martial arts masters for his innocent and true-hearted nature and learns what he can from each of them, aided by his companion and beloved, Huang Rong.
Those last two examples come from novels written by the same amazing mind behind Legend of the Condor Heroes: Jin Yong. It is from the extreme sense of curiosity and excitement and epic adventure I have found in this show that I've devoted myself to learning Chinese for the primary purpose of reading the source material. I know of no other way to convey to a complete China-novice just how great this show can be, if you come at it from the right perspective.
It is for good reason The Guardian and others have referred to Yong as The Tolkien of China, though the expression isn't very apt: His stories are just as sweeping, just as massive, and just as magical and adventurous as anything Tolkien ever dreamed of (and I say this as somebody who out of love for Tolkien studied Old Norse to better understand his own source material).
A Western viewer may find some of the attitudes a little bizarre. There is no nudity, sex, or profanity. Indeed, there isn't even kissing. There rarely is in Chinese television, as far as I've seen. Rather than the somewhat creepy portrayal of romance as stalking in American cinema, it is much more subtle and emotionally sharp and fulfilling. At least when the hero is concerned.
When it comes to the villains, things are a little different. They will hit an acupoint, for instance, and paralyze somebody (usually a woman and usually for sexual reasons), though it rarely reaches such a point before they are saved. One woman is apparently raped, given that she becomes pregnant, but even that is almost entirely left to the audience's imagination.
While women are often portrayed in the eyes of the villain as mere toys to be paralyzed and abused, it must be remembered that men (though much rarely) are also paralyzed like that. In addition, women still have a great deal of agency in Chinese dramas. Huang Rong is shown as being generally the most cunning person imaginable, though incredibly virtuous. Her martial prowess is also greater than some of the villains, though this seems to fluctuate at times. In quite a few dramas, you'll see the male hero hiding behind a more powerful female for protection, often against another female trying to hurt him.
In conclusion, this show itself and the overall experience of Chinese dramas has been extremely eye-opening and gratifying. Legend of the Condor Heroes is currently my favorite TV show ever, not just from China, and I look upon it with as much fond memory as I do The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. If as a Westerner you can try it out with an open mind, I think you will make a similar connection.
Jue ji (2016)
Far too rushed, but not bad
This could have made for a decent 45 episode drama, but in just two hours there are too many characters and concepts, too much world-building, for anyone's head not to spin. I have no trouble keeping the dozens of characters in lengthy dramas straight, but the dizzying speed of this movie was beyond my abilities to maintain.
If it were a TV series I'd probably be whining instead that the graphics are terrible. As it is, by turning the entire film into CGI they managed to make the monsters look natural to their environment, a decision for which the filmmakers do deserve credit. The scenes that ought to have captured the viewer's attention and imagination the most would have looked quite corny, no doubt, were this a live-action film, so I am willing to tolerate the animation. It does work quite well in this regard.
The film ends with two random characters whose role I only faintly understood discussing what just happened. This oughtn't have been necessary. The viewer ought to have known more or less what was going on as it happened, but at least we do discover the plot before the credits roll.
Probably one thing that most American viewers found refreshing is that this does not feel Chinese in the slightest. The architecture, the mannerisms, even the eyelids, seem rather European. I was expecting a more Oriental experience, something more like Fights Break Sphere or Tribes and Empires or Ever Night, but instead it seemed almost like I was watching a Disney movie.
In the end, the most redeeming quality of this film is that it is entertaining. There are far, far too few fantasy films being made to begin with, much less really good ones. This, while not particularly amazing like Lord of the Rings, is good and at least an entertaining option for the would-be fantasy viewer who is otherwise distraught by lack of choices.
Zhen Hun Jie: Episode #1.1 (2017)
Interesting first episode
THE PLOT IN A PARAGRAPH (presumably that's why you're here; it's why I usually check reviews): So there's this girl. After a weird day at work she gets on the bus and, while going through a tunnel, thinks she sees a ghost, reacting quite childishly. She is embarrassed. Then the bus driver sees the ghost and loses control of the bus and ends up driving right through some sort of spirit portal. The ghosts or demons or whatever they are kill the survivors, but she flees and is rescued by some guy with a strange weapon that destroys the ghosts it touches. He takes her memory of this away and she wakes up in the hospital.
This was the first episode of any Chinese show I've ever watched, so I am unable to offer any insights or comparisons relative to other Chinese television shows. I've seen a decent number of Chinese movies, though, and I'd say this made for a more compelling and distinctly modern alternative.
Relatively lighthearted, but not by any means too much so. Secretive enough to leave you quite curious for more. Some action, some adventure, toss in a magical weapon for some transdimensional violence for good measure. If the quality improves even more (pilots usually suck), then I may have to explore some more Chinese television.
The graphics were quite good, much better than I've seen in many other contemporary American television shows or in trailers for some other Chinese series (though not as good as one trailer I watched before picking out this series). The main character, Xia Ling, is a relatable yet strong female lead, while the window offered into the social and economic life in China looks almost American, more so than what one might expect from stories of social control and (half) communism you might read about in the news.
South Park: The Problem with a Poo (2018)
Mr. Hankey Needs to Die
I really didn't think I'd get through this episode. Every time Mr. Hankey opened his mouth I wanted to gouge out my eardrums. The PC Principal and Strong Woman subplot made my stick it out long enough to get to the end, which was the only scene featuring Mr. Hankey that might not be nauseating.
Les filles de Malemort (1974)
Very weird and mildly entertaining
Some have referred to this film as softcore, a classification with which I must disagree. There is an aged man who takes advantage of younger females (presumably his servants), and a captain who comes into town looking for a treasure. That is, quite honestly, all that I got from this choppy film.
It begins with a young man finding a book "les filles de Malemort" and he reads it to a female. After reading a few lines, the audience is taken back to the events retold in the book. It is, I must say, an intriguing film, but I simply could not figure out what was going on most of the time.
I gave it a 5/10 because I enjoyed the setting and cinematography, and because it was still a fun film to watch, despite my lack of comprehension. A mostly worthwhile use of 75 minutes.
Brainscan (1994)
Ultimate example of 1994 horror
I love movies. Action, drama, romance, science fiction - you name it, I love it. However, horror has always held a special place in my heart. Sci fi is there to awe us with futuristic possibilities (or impossibilities, as many acquainted with actual science may say); romance is meant to make us feel happy for those two who fall in love. Horror is special, though; rather than make us feel good, we are supposed to be, well, horrified. Unfortunately, this film didn't scare me, just as few, if any, ever have. However, as a work of art (something which I think all films are), Brainscan was excellent.
Dealing with a sixteen year old boy (T2's Eddie Furlong) who comes upon a video game that puts him within the eyes of a murderer, Michael experiences horror after horror when he finds himself essentially inside a truly scary horror flick. There were flaws, as there are in even the greatest of films, and many avenues which I thought could have been investigated; the film definitely would not have ended the way it had had I written in, yet it did have quite the humorous ending (in the blackest sense).
I give it an 8/10 rating, and hope to see many more like it. Also, if I may offer my recommendation, be it this: eXistenZ
La chiesa (1989)
Pretty good. . .
Before I start, I wish to make it clear that I am in no way an expert on Italian cinema. American, yes; European, not in the slightest. After having made my way through nearly every worthwhile American movie ever made, I've decided to go on to the European ones. While many are pretty good (you always get a dumb one or two), I find the experience somewhat tainted by my background in American cinema.
I watched Prince of Darkness a few months ago. It was good - not nearly as scary or as well made as I would have expected from John Carpenter. The Church was probably a better movie. Prince of Darkness took too many elements from Carpenter's older films like Assault on Precinct 13, so it did lack in some ways. However, having seen Prince of Darkness, a film very similar to this one, I knew what to expect. It reminded me of other, similar titles, as well. Rosemary's Baby (such as the 'devil-rape' scene in both films) being the most noteworthy.
The Church was not exceptionally gory, as I had been led to believe Italian cinema would be (Cannibal Holocaust, Zombi 2, etc.), and that probably helped it. There was blood, but it was far from being ubiquitous; there was sex and nudity, but neither proved to be a common occurrence. I'm a firm believer that such scenes take away from the horror by providing a distraction; this film had just the right amount to keep from getting - shall we say - boring. Not that I would find such a movie boring; indeed, the church's Gothic architecture, and all of the secrets that may be buried therein, provided a pleasant sight throughout most of the film.
Being one of my first Italian films, I do so hope that this film shan't be considered a masterpiece of sorts when compared to other Italian movies; while, as I said, I did like it, I cannot help but hope for something better from Italian filmmakers.
The House of the Devil (2009)
Startlingly well made horror masterpiece
I am still unsure of what to rate this film: nine stars or ten? It was an excellent movie - easily one of my favorite horror movies of all time (and I do mean all time, I've seen horror movies dating back to 1910) - but the ending (which I shan't give away; the 'SPOILER alert' is up because I am reminiscing about the ending, something which can ruin the movie's enjoyability for some people) wasn't as good as it could have been. It just didn't seem right.
The rest of the film, though, was terrific. She needs money, she gets a job as a babysitter, she goes to the babysitter's house (who just happens to live in the middle of no-where), and she learns that - 'Lo-and-Behold!' - there is no baby. Instead, she's watching an old woman.
As in the tradition of the old masterpieces (The Sentinel, Rosemary's Baby, the Omen, etc.), the first 75% is a build up of tension and suspense, whereas the last few minutes encompass the whole of the film's horrific elements. I like it that way. Unlike the Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th movies, where people are being killed off left-right-and-center, you get to develop feelings for the character - you don't want them to suffer at the hands of some daemon, or some madman, or whomsoever else the villain of that particular movie might be.
That's why this is a good movie. Writers these days don't seem to know how to make people wait for the scary stuff and, in the end, nothing is scary. Definitely a movie I'd recommend.
Reservation Road (2007)
Memorable, but not memorable. . .
I could easily rate a hundred movies a day on here, and it would take a good month to go through all the movies I've seen (much less television episodes). With about half of those movies, I think to myself, 'This is that movie I'm thinking about, isn't it?'. Perhaps forty percent more I can distinctly remember having seen, and a few minor plot elements, but no more. Only a percent or two of those movies are truly memorable - are ones that you find yourself quoting (i.e. "Go ahead, make my day", etc.) This movie, however, falls somewhere between those two places.
I can remember watching this movie. I can remember quite a bit of it, despite having watched it months ago - probably a whole lot better than I can remember the other movies I watched at that time. I can also remember having been enthralled by the film. And yet, for the life of me, I cannot possibly remember why I liked it so much. Had I rated this title the day I watched it, I'd have probably given it ten stars; yet, after only a few months, the reasoning has completely escaped me. I typically give this type of movie a seven star rating, but something tells me it was far better than your average similar-themed drama.
The plot was good - with a tad too much irony, as is common in most Hollywood films. (It's not much of a SPOILER, but I'll list it as a SPOILER alert because I wouldn't have wanted to know had I read a review before having watched this movie.) The man who hits and kills Joaquin's character's son is the same lawyer whom Joaquin hires later on. Out of all the lawyers to be found in whatever city you are in (they make up a good 50 pages of my local telephone directory), he had to hire his son's killer. Sure, without that touch of irony, the movie wouldn't have been half as good as it was, yet something about it still, though making the movie, ruined it as well.
Anyway, this is definitely a movie I'd recommend (and have recommended) to anybody looking for a good, heartfelt drama.
Fear (1996)
Good, even for a Wahlberg film
I don't like Mark Wahlberg. I'd go so far as to say that I hate him -- despise him, even. The Happening, Max Payne, The Departed - he has this way of systematically ruining everything he does; he's like Adam Sandler, almost.
Despite Wahlberg's role in this film - which, if I might add, wasn't very good (as can be expected) - I was surprised to find that I enjoyed this film. I never thought I'd hear myself saying such a thing about a Wahlberg film, but it's true. This was an enjoyable, thrilling movie that I am glad that I watched.
I'd recommend it to anybody in search of a good, old-fashioned thriller.
The Sentinel (1977)
Excellently made horror
I expected this to be an adequate film. It wasn't until the mid-80s that horror films became laughable, so I wasn't expecting anything like Freddy vs. Jason or Leprechaun; I wasn't expecting another Rosemary's Baby, either, but that was what I got.
The beginning was slow. That's how all horror movies should be: nice and slow. Let you get a feel for the characters, develop any type of positive emotional attachment. It didn't feel like a horror film at first - but, then again, neither did Rosemary's Baby. Producers/writers/directors today seem to think that people want the horror to start the second the film does. Unfortunately, that doesn't give the viewer enough time to get emotionally connected with the characters, which leads to a lack of fear. The Sentinel was done in such a way that you felt for Alison.
The Omen is among the few films which, when I watched it, I found startling. Prophecy was excellent, as was The Ninth Gate. Thus, I find myself at a quandary: should I classify these films as Daemonic Horror, or as Catholic Horror? I've seen Daemonic horror films - Legion being quite noteworthy - which were quite ridiculous. However, I am unable to think of a horror film which incorporated Catholic elements that I did not like. The Catholic element was not the source of the horror in these films, thus I fear that it would be inaccurate to call them 'Catholic horror films'.
Whatever I call them, they are terrific. And the Sentinel might very well be the best.
Splice (2009)
Splice - a good film, with a few flaws.
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS Splice was... an interesting movie. There are flaws, like most movies, though it was far better than the average movie.
Science fiction has, historically, been a story of that which may be possible at a later date; however, Splice wasn't like that. Splice was about something that, most likely, is possible now. Back in the 70s a book was written by a man who claimed to have been involved with a project to clone a human. He claimed that they succeeded, though the scientists of both his day and now say that it was all a lie.
Still, there is also a chance that he was telling the truth. What if a clone walks among us today? Yet, Splice wasn't exactly about human cloning, rather human-animal hybridization. Still, there are historical examples for this topic, as well; the most notable being the 'Montauk Monster' which washed ashore July of 2008. There were many possible explanations for precisely what this 'Monster' was, and a common theory was that it was a raccoon, or some other animal. Still, one cannot help but wonder.
The aforementioned flaws were comparatively minor: the characters - being fictional - were typologically inaccurate. The acting, while exquisite when it comes to Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody, could have been better by the other actors.
SPOILERS Dren ('nerd' spelled backwards; fans of Happy Days may recognize it...) was formed in a laboratory as a hybrid between another creature and a human. Her 'parent' was a genetically engineered hybrid-creature which was used to synthesize a protein. The female of that species later turned into a male in a rather grisly 'murder' scene.
Anymore information, and the horror (or rather, the little horror present in that film) would be even lower than the already less-than-satisfactory 'horror film'.
Overall, a very good film dealing with the ethical and moral implications of cloning/hybridization.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
A terrific movie.
Death. A common fear amongst almost all the civilizations in the world. But what if you could overcome death? Would you do it? What if, in order to overcome death, you were reduced to a brainless automaton? You get bit. You bleed to death. You come back. That is the premise of this film. However, when you come back, there is nothing left of you but your body; your mind is all but gone - wasted. There is a stark difference between vampires and zombies - vampires are sentient, zombies are not. That fact makes them all the more terrifying. Similar to the original, the few survivors take refuge in a mall (an allusion to consumerism in modern society, perhaps?).
Across the river of zombies trying to bite the survivors is a gun store, owned by Andy. Neither of them can reach each other, so they use a dry-erase-board to communicate. They play a game: the people in the mall write down the name of a celebrity, such as Burt Reynolds. Andy then shoots the zombie-look-a-like in the head. A classic scene.
The film also poses the belief: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. A man was bit, he is slowly dying and shall eventually turn into a zombie. What do you do? Do you kill him right away, or do you let him die then resurrect as a zombie? At which point is a human beyond hope?
Morality and philosophy intermixed with horror and zombie fun. A masterpiece in modern film-making.
Sin City (2005)
Odd, but fun
I was hesitant about this movie. It had a strong cast and an interesting premise, but something just seemed 'off'. My fears, as it turns out, were not unfounded. The graphics were ridiculous, the premise bizarre, and the whole feel of the movie was strange. However - it was fun. It was fun in a way that most movies could only dream of. Sure, it was ludicrous, but that added to the enjoyability. Most of the film was in black and white, with some color added - such as to a dress or a head. When Elijah Wood's character got dismembered, there was little if any blood. He was just sitting there, with a smile on his face - then you see that his limbs are gone. Quite strange. Mickey Rourke walks around with his face covered in band-aids during the beginning - another ridiculous, but fun, scene in the movie.