dan_c99 Reviews

Code Black (2015–2018)

If you want to be bored, while getting a headache, this is the show for you.

[1/10 · 12 October 2015]

Overall the show is terrible. Just awful. The blood is unrelenting, gushing all over the place in huge spurts. Piles of bloody items litter the floor. The characters are 2-dimensional at best. The drama is forced, the acting is strictly by the numbers. The dialogue is garbled and the noise is overpowering, which means most of the time you cannot even hear what they are saying. Chaos is not a substitute for drama. This is the pilot episode, so hopefully the show fails soon and we won't have to be subjected to this Indecipherable collection of medical-show clichés for much longer.

Ugghhh, what junk...

Everest (2015)

I actually fell asleep during this movie

[1/10 · 4 October 2015]

I kept waiting for something to happen. It never did.

The buildup surrounding this movie had me expecting to see a thrilling action drama with uncanny effects, and I was badly let down.

The film badly failed to deliver.

The characters were given no backstory and we couldn't care less about any of them.

The effects were OK, but did not provide any real excitement.

It's a story about a group of wealthy narcissists who put their own thrill-seeking above the needs of their families.

Do yourself a favor and see The Martian instead.

A Night in Old Mexico (2013)

Duvall still has what it takes

[10/10 · 23 March 2015]

Once again, Robert Duvall delivers like few others can. The cast, story line and everything about the movie was grand. His co stars, while I was unfamiliar with them prior to this, were so outstanding. Movie drew me in right from the start and held me fully. Only disappointment I had with the movie was that it had to end. No matter what role Mr. Duvall plays, he is so very convincing and makes you feel like he is someone you know personally. very different from the lawyer in the Godfather. The scenery was outstanding as well with such a great soundtrack. Its sad that ranchers and farmers alike face the devastation of losing the homes and land that they have worked so hard on due to the way things are these days. Instant classic.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Best part about it was leaving the theatre and having dinner with my wife

[1/10 · 1 March 2015]

For me, a complete and total waste of money and time. We almost left about 20 minutes into this self-indulgent piece of tripe.

This movie strains so hard to make itself important that it is appalling.

What can be defined as the plot (and it's a stretch to call it that) is trite and a cliché. The lead actor is successful but inwardly unrewarded. He has also ruined his family in search of celebrity and wealth making Hollywood action movies, which he now considers to be junk. So, he wants to redeem himself and try his hand at serious theater. Throw in a disturbed junkie daughter, a long-suffering but understanding ex wife, and a producer pulling his hair out because the play isn't a success and you've got all you need to know.

The rest is a montage of hackneyed hallucinations, fake suicide red-herrings, gay kisses and naked male asses.

A bunch of Academy Award hype and a monument to pretentiousness.

I wish I could have those 2 hours of my life back. I hate wasting time on junk like this.

Michael Keaton was trying too hard and Ed Norton was totally wasted, and the rest of the cast were stereotypical stock characters. If actors and other creative types are really so messed up, it is even more of a crime than I originally thought that we make them so rich and honor them so much.

Another 9½ Weeks (1997)

Fantastic! Excellent film to watch with your honey!

[10/10 · 31 December 2014]

Great interesting plot, really dramatic "noir" events that do really shock, terrific chemistry between the leads, a really seductive female lead, brilliant acting, from everyone, steamy "sex", and a terrific Mr. Rourke cast in a romantic lead when other lesser actors would no longer look the part. The original was great, but this one is better! See it over again, it just gets better, much better, it is a classic, pure and simple.

It's great! And very exciting! Watch it over and over to get the most out of it!

Mickey Roarke always showed signs of greatness, and now we see why.

North by Northwest (1959)

Undeniably a classic!

[10/10 · 18 November 2014]

This is Hitchcock's best film – quite an accomplishment, considering how many great films he created. And after half a century, "North By Northwest" holds up beautifully. This film has it all: suspense, glamour, humor, and images that capture the imagination and remain etched in memory. The legendary crop-dusting sequence alone is a master class in the art of pure cinema. Like the rest of the film, it's brilliantly conceived and brilliantly executed. All the elements come together to produce the finest form of entertainment. Bernard Herrmann's frantic fandango captures the complexity and pace of the action. Ernest Lehman's script is full of sophisticated dialogue. Performances are spot on. Has Cary Grant ever been more engaging? Is James Mason the ultimate in charming villains? And Eva Marie Saint's allure is multi-faceted. Movies just don't get better than this.

Deja Vu (2006)

A terrible movie, just awful...

[1/10 · 11 November 2014]

This movie is not even a science fiction movie. Its ridiculous. Excuse me Denzel, but how could you get involved in this? Oh, for the money! Nothing is explained well. this movie wasn't supposed to be a comedy, but it is. But as soon they started to "talk" about wormholes etc this movie was over. Denzel Washington is usually worth watching, but not here - the movie is just too awful.

It's a really sorry piece of work, anybody with the least knowledge of Sci Fi will Agree that this movie is just ridiculous.

Tony Scott jumped off a bridge in L.A. not too long ago, probably dismayed over the portfolio of junk movies he'd made during his career. While that is indeed a shame, at least we won't have to worry about more movies like this from him.

Birthday Girl (2001)

The worst junk imaginable

[24 October 2014]

Absolutely awful.

Why was Nicole Kidman in this? It seems an odd choice for her. Although I will agree she is breathtaking here both physically(she actually looks Russian-the girl is like a chameleon) and as an actress.

All of the other actors are stupid and ugly.

The writing is dreadful.

And what was up with that stupid car?

But I ultimately turned this off and watched something else instead. why you ask?

Boring. Unfunny. Weird. Stupid. Unbelievable. Unsexy. Embarrassing. Ridiculous.

Need I go on?

White House Down (2013)

Unmitigated trash, utterly moronic

[1/10 · 2 October 2014]

This plot is a ridiculous left wing psycho fantasy. Understand that military contractors are completely responsible for all the violence in the world and aided by the Speaker of the House, and will start a nuclear war to (somehow) maximize profits. Throw in the usual rednecks as bad guys .Totally ruined a below average action movie. The acting is OK as far as the plot will let pretty decent performers utter their preposterous lines with a straight face. Spoiler alert- (if that is possible with this movie) If you can get past the blatant propaganda you are still faced with characters such as the pilots who would do things such disobey orders and for all they knew allow a nuclear strike on Iran, killing millions of children to save one child. This is simply Hollywood at its elitist fantasy world worst and the scarier part that they believe-possibly accurately - the viewer is really that dumb.

L.A. Confidential (1997)

An absolute ripoff of Chinatown

[1/10 · 29 August 2014]

Better to watch Chinatown again than this overrated junk. The story was too contrived and needlessly complicated. Kim Basinger is no Faye Dunaway. The period music was applied with a trowel, and I never believed any of the characters was a real 'tough guy'. A bunch of Hollywood types pretending to be rough characters. And it never established a real period feel. By the way, having Danny Devito in this movie made it a total joke. We're supposed to take The Penguin seriously as a character in a major film? And his voice-over was a cliché, something I would expect in a satirical film.

I'm mystified that so many people think this movie is great.

Spanish Judges (2000)

Terrible, just terrible

[1/10 · 13 August 2014]

I really like Vincent Donofrio, but his movie choices are uniformly bad. The only decent things he's ever been in are Full Metal Jacket and Law And Order - Criminal Intent.

This movie starts off slow and then slumps off from there. Ridiculous characters, implausible behavior, clichéd performances, stupid story. It's all there, all the problems any film can have, all in one place. They should use this as a teaching tool in Film School: coursename = 'How Not To Make a Movie' , and a companion course: 'How To Ruin The Careers Of Actors Who May Actually Have Some Talent'.

Don't waste your time, life is too short and each hour is precious...

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

A vile piece of junk

[1/10 · 8 August 2014]

I wish I could say anything positive about it, but I feel the responsibility to keep people, especially young folks, away from this movie. This is literally the worst movie ever. I do not understand how this movie can be entertaining in any way. The scenes are mostly disgusting and it's length could be reduced to an hour at most. The plot is a rehash.

This is basically 'Good Fellas', but with Wasps instead of Mafiosi. Do whatever criminal behavior you want, steal anything you want, use as much drugs as you want, abuse as many women as you can. But, at the same time, "Don't you think I'm cute?" "Don't you wish you could be my friend?" Success has allowed Scorcese to amp up the debauchery to a ridiculous level. What's next for him, actual film of disembowelment? The main difference is that Goodfellas had a somewhat satisfying ending: they mostly got what they deserved, especially the guy who got shot in the head.

Scorcese now appears to be repeating himself (come to think of it, the plot isn't much different than 'Gangs Of New York' either).

It happens to most of the great directors: their originality runs out, the studio bosses don't rein them in because of their prior success, audiences continue to buy tickets for a while.

So long, Marty, it was good while it lasted.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Don't waste your time

[1/10 · 1 August 2014]

The Marvel team has once again given us another bunch of junk. The ever growing 'Marvel Cinematic Universe' deserves to be destroyed, and I found myself rooting for the bad guys to put the rest of the sappy characters out of their misery. James Gunn takes the helm of the fairly unknown 'Guardians of the Galaxy', much to his detriment. Unlike Iron Man, Captain America and Thor join this film as partners in grime. An unmitigated disaster, total junk, a complete waste of time and utterly forgettable. Stay home and watch Friends reruns, they are more creative and still more relevant than this unimaginative, unoriginal mishmash of plagiarized elements from other films.

Ugghhhh...

Noah (2014)

A very worthwhile and noble effort

[10/10 · 31 March 2014]

It's disappointing that this movie is so polarizing and that the negative opinions are those of people who claim to be religious. For those who are reading their comments, please look at them with skepticism and understand that they are complaining that Noah is not the fairy-tale account that they expected. Their arguments are overly simplistic: Noah was not dark, this is a movie about environmentalism, there were no rock creatures, God was not silent...

All of this is driven by a belief that they must 'warn' people about this movie.

So please. Do not lump all Christians into the same basket and think that they cannot find truth or beauty in this work. Aronofsky explores beautiful truths and builds on them with this movie.

The Ides of March (2011)

Liberal propaganda posing as a movie

[1/10 · 17 February 2014]

I don't need to write a great deal about it because it isn't worth it. I mean Clooney the arrogant liberal loon is enough. Of course he is ridiculous.

Typical stereotyping, even down to the 'honest' candidate. Bleehhh.

The acting was weak, there was no real plot and by mid movie it was an typical liberal Hollywood fantasy . The movie is just a total snooze as well. Only Democrat drones will dig the lies and propaganda that Clooney spouts off about same old tired nonsense.

His skills as a director are non-existent, and his acting consists of mugging for the camera with that stupid smirk on his face.

Pretty Woman (1990)

Ridiculous

[1/10 · 29 January 2014]

Anyone who has ever seen women working the streets in person, or even in a documentary on TV, should find this film to be ridiculous. They are living a wretched existence, usually to support a drug habit or an abusive pimp or both. Nothing glamorous about it.

Yet this film presents Julia Roberts as some sort of naive Girl-Scout-turned-hooker, all shiny and clean and cute and perky. Are they serious? And, yeah, right, a multi-millionaire venture capitalist is going to bed down with a street walker. Not in a million years.

Just stupid, unbelievable and ridiculous.

Gary Marshall, director of Lavernce and Shirley, directed this farce. It displays the same stupid unrealistic view of life.

Revolver (2005)

An absolute piece of junk

[1/10 · 17 January 2014]

I'd give this a zero rating if that were possible.

First, to address the comments that say "oh this is incredibly complex" and so-forth. No it isn't! It's about the dumbest thing ever made. Honestly, if you don't get it, it's because there is nothing to get. Guy Ritchie can bang on about how it's to do with the complexity of the human soul and an existentialist critique of modern society, but it patently isn't. It's like a thirteen year old attempting to write a suicide note, with all the subtlety of a year twelve English poem.

And so continues the movie. Lots of superfluous swearing, lots of shooting, lots of stagger cuts (they've been done before, Ritchie!)and absolutely no plot or character development. Add to which some hilarious mis-casting and you are left with a genuinely brainless, often misogynist idiotic mess by the man-child Guy Ritchie. Go away you vile, odious, talentless little man!

The Book of Eli (2010)

How can so many be so wrong?

[18 January 2013]

First off, Eli was not blind. Just because someone carries a book written in Braille, that does not mean they are blind. People with sight can learn to read Braille, as had Eli.

I'm not extremely religious, but I find so many of the comments here to be disconcerting. There is a lot of hatred towards religion apparent in these remarks, as though faith were a bad thing. Certainly, there has been a lot of horror committed in the name of religion over the last 2000 years. That is a failing of mankind, not a failing of religious belief - regardless of the religion in question.

To see so many people who are turned off by religion and denounce any reference to it is sad. So many people lack faith and also regard with disdain those who do have it. Not a positive path to be on, in my view...

Sleeper (1973)

What do you expect from Allen?

[2 December 2011]

Here is a guy (Allen) who married his wife's adopted daughter, whom he helped raise from a little girl. Somehow they let him get away with this. He should be in jail. What a sick disgusting creep he is.

This movie was a disappointment. Most jokes were either little-to-half intelligent groaners, inside jokes or pop culture references that most people today wouldn't catch or remember. The acting was quite amateur as was the movie as a whole. I was not in a good mood after watching this years ago, and I certainly will not watch any of that pervert's movies now.

If you like movies made by a child-molester, be my guest...

Drive (I) (2011)

You're kidding, right?

[22 October 2011]

I can't believe the critics raved about this movie.

Awful, just awful.

A little bit of Vanishing Point, a little bit of Bullitt, a little bit of The Professional, a little bit of The Transporter, a little bit of Heat.

All of it bad.

Scenes that were totally silent for minutes at a time. The sum total of the dialog could fit on 2 pages. Half of this movie was silent, I'm not kidding.

Note to the producers: making a movie that is crammed full of enigmatic gazing into someone's eyes does not make it an 'art film'. It just makes it BORING.

Excruciatingly gory violence, totally unneeded in a film like this. The lead guy is a skinny little nothing with no discernible muscle mass, and yet he dispatches the bad guys as though he were The Terminator.

Yeah, sure.

Zero character development. The lead character is a cipher: who is he, where did he come from, where did he learn all that stuff, was he hatched or born? Who cares?

Oh wait, the hero must be a genius! Not only can he drive fast and kill people twice his size with one hand, he can rebuild a Holly 850 carburetor on his kitchen table using just a screwdriver.

And Albert Brooks playing the Chief Bad Guy? Albert Brooks? Are you serious? In his old age, Albert Brooks looks like a retired accountant, not a tough guy. Albert Brooks? Really?

A film like this makes Stallone's The Expendables look like a Shakespearean tragedy.

Come to think of it, I know what this film is. It's a chick flick. Just like the ones seen on Lifetime. Sure, it has cars, guns and violence. But they're just there to sucker the guys into going along with the ladies to see it.

Quite a nice bit of bait-and-switch.

I want my money back.

The Blues Brothers (1980)

A terrible, stupid, overrated retread of a Sat Nite Live sketch

[1/10 · 9 March 2011]

2 white guys pretending to be blues greats, backed by the best band money can buy. No offense to Cropper et al, but they wasted their time backing these 2. The Blues brothers live album is a travesty as well. It is not real music, it is theatre with the front men wearing costumes and pretending to have blues in their blood.

The movie is disjointed, stupid, badly written and not funny. At all.

Was the bit with the neo-Nazis really necessary? In a musical movie? I don't think John Landis has ever directed a really good film. Even Animal House is loaded with weaknesses and serious flaws...

Belushi and Ackroyd are terrible actors and cannot sing a note. The whole movie plays out like a lame SNL sketch, which is no surprise since that is the source of the material.

Avoid, avoid, avoid...

I Want Your Money (2010)

Finally, the truth is told

[10/10 · 18 October 2010]

This was a thoughtful look back at the last 80 years, providing enough info along with entertainment value that kept the kids interested without being heavy handed. I enjoyed animated parts, but more so the interviews with various politicians, economists, and businessmen who succinctly made their points in measured manner. My favorite part was Milton Friedman "schooling" a slack-jawed Phil Donahue about how everyone operates out of self-interest or what he called "greed". Phil didn't seem to have an answer when asked to produce the self-less communist or socialist state that operated out of benevolence.

Anyone who began to pay attention to what politicians said and what their policies brought about would vote for Reagan. I saw us go from a national "malaise" under Carter the weakling into a nation that once again felt pride, hope and self-sufficiency. Reagan brought us back to Amercian Exceptionalism, small government, low taxes, strong national defense.

We can see what happens to whole generations who have been cocooned in the modern welfare state, expecting to be taken care of and never even attempting to stand on their own. While progressives believe they are more compassionate in that they want to take care of these people, few recognize the truth. They are told that not only should they be taken care of but that it is unreasonable of anyone to expect them to be self-sufficient. These people made more and more unableof taking care of themselves, and the children who grow up in these homes grow up without any concept of any other way of life.

So, do we wish to hand over all of our decisions, our monies and our choices to a handful of "elites" who will create a Master Plan for us all or shall we get back to the messy business of running our own lives, preferably with less and less federal involvement?

Machete (2010)

Really bad. Really, really bad.

[1/10 · 6 October 2010]

Unadulterated crap. Rodriguez should be deported.

Why would anyone buy a ticket for this junk? It makes The Expendables look like Masterpiece Theatre.

Why are current audiences so fond of blood and guts? Have we debased ourselves to the point of having virtual chariot races as entertainment? It was the fall of the Roman Empire, and we are witnessing the fall of western culture.

And the thinly veiled political statements are offensive as well. You want to convince people to share your view? Buy an ad on TV or rent a billboard. But in this insane world we willingly pay money to sit in a dark room and have someone else's view of how things should be forced upon us.

It's offensive. And this movie is offensive.

Road House (1989)

Still great after all these years...

[10/10 · 24 January 2010]

A totally engrossing, classic tale of good vs. evil. Patrick Swayze plays the charming "Dalton", a 'cooler' (head bouncer) enlisted to clean up a troubled mid-west road house bar, the "Double Deuce". The movie features veteran actor Ben Gazzara's best work as local businessman and town bully "Brad Wesley", played so convincingly it's hard to separate Ben from Brad. I have to keep reminding myself Gazzara is only acting and is not actually the vile Wesley. The house band is in fact the Jeff Healey Band, who perform several live numbers, and guitar great Healey makes his acting debut as "Cody", an old friend of Dalton. Healey's untimely death in 2008 make his performance here even more engaging. Sam Elliott plays "Wade Garrett", Dalton's fatherly best friend and fellow cooler. Beautiful Kelly Lynch plays "Dr. Elizabeth Clay", Dalton's local love interest. Other noteworthy performances include Kevin Tighe as road house entrepreneur "Frank Tilghman"; Marshall Teague ("Jimmy"), Wesley's top enforcer and tough guy; former professional wrestling World Champion Terry Funk ("Morgan"), a bouncer fired by Dalton; musician and actor John Doe (former front man of the new wave band "X"), who plays bartender "Pat McGurn", fired by Dalton and who happens to be Wesley's nephew; and Julie Michaels ("Denise"), another Wesley associate, who's attracted to Dalton. Jon Paul Jones, "Sunshine" Parker and Red West play likable local businessmen terrorized by Wesley. Contains the best closing scene of any movie ever, in my opinion; the Jeff Healey Band performing a Bob Dylan song live, "When the Night Comes Falling From the Sky", as the final credits roll. A musical gift from the short 41 year life of Jeff Healey. An excellent cast with an excellent soundtrack in an excellent movie you'll watch over and over again. It grows on you!

Rocky Balboa (2006)

A great film - proves that Stallone can really act

[10/10 · 20 January 2010]

A lot of people seem not to like this film, but I liked it, primarily for nostalgic reasons. And, of course, the screenplay is heavily into remembrance of the past stories, touched with the circumstances and needs of Rocky's current life. He obviously grieves for Adrian, and that colors much of Rocky's outlook, but there are other demons that must be confronted and excised. And, for those who have been there themselves, this is familiar and real. For these reasons, Rocky the Fighter becomes Rocky the Everyman. And the two become synonymous.

Stallone is his usual dominating presence, but his supporting cast deserves kudos, from old rival, later friend and trainer 'Duke', to seemingly minor characters like 'Spider Rico' and 'Marie'. Burt Young as brother-in-law Paulie presents a slightly more mellow and softer side than his earlier turns, which were more of the brutish and thuggish "loser". Rival boxer 'Mason Dixon' and his handlers are even offered in a somewhat sympathetic and appealing manner.

In the end, Rocky is able to lose the beast within and find a measure of personal redemption, inner peace, and closure, and that is a fitting and satisfying way to end the Rocky saga. He does it his way, in the ring, engaged in the sport he loves that has shaped his life, but also in the quiet of his grieving and memories at Adrian's grave. We know that Rocky will endure and fight on, if not in the ring then in life, because it is what he does. And that is a fitting message to leave us with, because it is what we all do.