mackdaddyspliffs Reviews

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Rob i feel cheated

[5/10 · 23 July 2005]

Rob, although many people i know did not like House of 1000 corpses, i loved it, and i waited patiently for this new movie. And what do you give us. A dumbed down version of the original. No Dark Humor. No Really Gross scenes. Oh wow, you put another guys face on Bill mosely, Wow! what a letdown. I mean don't get me wrong, the fact that you always have us rooting for the bad guy alone is good. And i would always see anything you make, but, i just was expecting a lot more. Where was Dr. Satan? Why do i have to wait for an animated show to see him again, and against a luchadore wrestler no less? Come on rob, was this just your way of making a cheap film to get paid ? If so cool. Just let us , your die-hard fans know!The only redeeming factor for me, and probably none of the 18 yr old kids seeing these films would even know, and that is all the Ancient Hollywood actors you gave a shot here, especially my Man Ken foree, of Dawn of the Dead fame! Wtg on that Rob, also as usual your wife is Crazy hot looking! in closing don't get me wrong, i love your style i just think the first one was scarier, and more campy and i loved it. I can't pass it when i see it on, i watch it every time!

Land of the Dead (2005)

Sorry George i liked the original Night and Dawn better

[1/10 · 26 June 2005]

Wow, i never thought i would be saying this. But. Maybe the classics are better then the new ones. You would think not. One head explosion actually looked like it was CGI to me, and not only CGI but really bad CGI. I have watched the Original Dawn of the dead like 85 times easily, and every time i put it on late at night it at leasts makes me go to bed and have a nightmare or at least feel a little creeped out. Watching this movie was like watching a 1 hr 30 min version of michael jackson's thriller. Now, if the movie was Good, i would have been complaining about the 1 hr 30 min film. But i was glad to see it end. I had originally told my fiancé that since the movie was only 1 hr 30 mins long we were going to stay and watch it twice. Ha, i snuck it and watched Batman begins, which was a better movie. Now i want to see more zombie movies then anyone, hell i wrote a review before this movie came out urging people to go see it, but now i must say this, i want more movies like 28 days later, now that was a movie for the 2000's.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Makes you want to go home and watch the Original

[9/10 · 19 May 2005]

Watching this movie, was awesome. I didn't rate it a 10, because i reserve the 10 rating for the original Star Wars Episode 4. Which Amazingly, i would love to see remade with todays technology. Who knows maybe someday they will. Hayden was awesome in his transformation to the dark side, although i think it was a little too accelerated. I would like to have seen some other acts leading up to him killing kids. I mean you go from being a caring Jedi to a Kid killer in a few frames?? But being 33 yrs old and having seen the originals all those years back, and not having watched them again when the re-issue came out with bonus features, i now want to go rent them and watch them all. then maybe go see episode 3 again. Visually it was stunning. The lava world scenes awesome, but was a little unrealistic that they are hovering over boiling molten rock and don't even break a sweat let alone have their skin turn into welts and boils, yet the minute anakins stubs get within 2 inches of it, he bursts into flames??? OK, i know its a movie, check the mind at the door. All in all, i went with two people that aren't even star wars fans and they liked it. This movie stood on its own and was a perfect finale to an awesome Epic. Way to go George Lucas, you have redeemed yourself for episode 1 and Jar jar and Watto!

House of Wax (2005)

Original, suspenseful, Gory, All good components of Horror

[10/10 · 7 May 2005]

Lets just say this much. I went in with Low Expectations, was pleasantly surprised. Most people that bash this movie, i doubt even saw it. The one guy who said he saw the microphone on the set, i looked for it and didn't see it, but was engrossed in the movie so much, if it was there, i missed it. The first thing they did in this movie that was good, was kept Paris Hilton's lines to a minimum. Why they chose to have her dating a Black actor, is beyond me, i hate it when they do things like that in a movie to be politically correct, in Real life she would have dated the main characters boyfriend, besides then maybe the Black actor could have survived a horror movie, something that rarely happens unless your LL cool J. **minor spoiler** When the girl is under the gas station poking her fingers through and the killer bends down to tie his shoelace and clips off her fingers i was rolling, maybe I'm a little twisted but i thought that was hilarious and Original. A lot of the killings in this movie were. I would love to see a sequel! To all those reading these negative reviews, i Welcome you to go to the theater and see this, because if you go in there like i did, expecting the garbage most reviewers have promised you. You will be pleasantly surprised, i put this movie well above Scream and I know what you did last summer, it was suspenseful even though you knew who the killer or killers were!8 out of 10 is what i normally would have rated this, but gave it a 10 to boost it up since a lot of people have unfairly bashed it.

Johnson Family Vacation (2004)

Negative Rating needed

[1/10 · 24 April 2005]

This movie, was so bad my fiancé was asking me to turn it off and put her out of her misery. I would have but i figured i suffered through the first half of it, why not treat it like a visit to the dentist, and enjoy the pain. That is exactly what watching this movie was Painful, not funny at all, from the Rubber alligator to the Retardedly Big Hamburgers, Bow wows lack of acting skills, hell he doesn't have any skill, except making young black teenage girls get dizzy. This movie makes the Snoop Dawg airline film look good, and i thought that was impossible. While it is commendable to make a film without cursing, at least make it funny. I mean steve martin can make a movie without cursing and its hilarious.

Be Cool (2005)

Feeling the Fool for Watching Be Cool

[1/10 · 5 March 2005]

Well, even the Rocks Eyebrow cant save this movie from spiraling downward to an uneventful ending, While it was amusing to watch the Rock spank his own buttocks while doing a dance, It was a Big letdown to me, i wish someone could have just shown me the Rock outtakes from the movie which would total about 12 minutes and i would have been happy, instead i was forced to sit through Vince Vaughns painful performance, and see uma thurman put on her worst performance ever. Also what other reviewers have mentioned about product placement is so true, i mean from Pepsi to Dairy Queen, to the 2 way pager Sidekick, all these Blatant advertising was Nauseating, while watching the movie halfway through i asked my fiancé if she would mind if we left in the middle and she jumped at the chance, but we decided to suffer through it to see The Rock, your lucky we love you Dwayne,you were the high point of an otherwise Rotten Tomato, this film should get a Razzie!

Boogeyman (2005)

Short and sweet, Waste of Time

[1/10 · 10 February 2005]

Normally if a movie is bad for a particular reason i would take the time to tell you why, But the reason this movie is bad is because there is no STORY, plain and simple...you only see the movie from the point of view of the main character, and even then the movie just relies on the fact that at some point in all our lives we're afraid of the dark, closets, under our bed...Problem is I'm 33, I'm not afraid of those things anymore, maybe thats why this Piece of Rubbish was rater pg 13 so it can reach its "Target audience", 13 year olds...So in closing, if you know a bunch of teens 13, and not much older because this would not have even gave me shivers past 15 the take them to see it...they will probably have nightmares scarier and more realistic then the movie..hell, i have had nightmares that were way scarier...the end... P.s. download this movie off the internet like i did, this way at least you wont have wasted money on it

White Noise (I) (2005)

It Coulda Been A Contendah!

[4/10 · 8 January 2005]

I chose to use the old boxing adage because thats exactly what this movie "could have been", in fact ill say "should have been" It had plot holes the size of the TV screens filled with white fuzz that we spend most of the film looking into..the only reasons for me giving this a 4 instead of a 1 out of 10, is 1 pt for Michael Keaton who's acting made me feel like i didn't Totally waste my money::and i caught a matinée:: and 3 pts for the Concept, which i must insist, after having seen the movie I'm half tempted to set up a recorder in my house and see what i hear::hopefully nothing::, my luck i would hear "Get Outttttt!" and have to move....but at the end of white noise the only thing i was hearing was, "We Gottt your money and it cost $5.00 to make this movie" Now i won't give any spoilers to the end of this movie except for to say that it culminates all in a 4 minute segment that has Nothing to do with the rest of the movie...When seeing a movie that has an ending that has Nothing to do with the film i would at least like a few hints to the ending so i can kinda know where they are going with the idea, it had that "We Ran out of Money paying mike and Filming so we have to end it Quickly and Cheaply" feel to it! The CGI::it's an insult to call it that:: was HORRIBLE, i mean at least let me see something scary if thats what your trying to do...Finally one last comment i have for this movie but also to all of Hollywood...Stop Making Pg and Pg-13 Horror Films, i am tired of going to see a matinée of films like this and having Bubba Clem and Trailer Trisha in the next row with their two infants Crryyiinngg!!!! I realize the two true reason Hollywood shoots it down to PG-13, 1)To squeeze every last dollar out of every age market when releasing it, and 2)So when they finally release it on video they can put out the Unrated Director's Cut, and attract more dollars. I have a better idea, Put out the two versions in the theater so Bubba Clem and Trailer Trisha can bring their screaming Crumb Snatchers to the pg 13 and i can go watch your Rated R film in my Adult peace! Amen!, heck ill even pay an extra dollar to see it, Wait...i didn't say that... ::Envisions the Marquee reading $5.00 extra to see the unrated version::

Blade: Trinity (2004)

SUCKS LIKE A VAMPIRE

[1/10 · 9 December 2004]

This movie was thee worst vampire movie i have ever seen, i mean come on....with some vampires all it takes is a mere SWIPE of their skin with a silver blade from a girls boot to turn them to ash, the main characters come upon a room filled with hundreds of bodies in plastic being grown kept alive for their blood, and all blade has to do is tell ONE FEMALE WORKER, shut it down, and she does, if she works for the vampires why wouldn't she turn it right back on after he left, and why wouldn't he slice open the plastic to free the poor suckers! This and many other reasons left me sorry i paid to see this film, the CGI animation with the pomeranians looked like the 5 cent version of the predators....

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Mission Accomplished!

[10/10 · 10 October 2004]

A tribute to george romero, a comedy, Gore Galore, Zombies abound, what more could you ask for, i thoroughly enjoyed this movie, wish i would have gotten the chance to see it on the big screen, but the nearest theatre playing this was 30 miles from my house...so i d/l it off the internet! LOVED IT! only negative thing was that since I'm not British I'm sure i missed out on a few jokes...but otherwise it was awesome! I loved the way they meshed certain parts of Romero's series into the film, especially when the credits were rolling they played the music from the mall in Dawn Of the Dead..I PRAY that there is a sequel. If there is i think i would drive the 30 miles to see it next time!10/10

Matchstick Men (2003)

Cage & Rockwell Make it worthwhile....almost

[7/10 · 11 March 2004]

Well this movie did have potential, and it was entertaining, Now when i started watching the film on my Playstation 2, it started playing on its own for some strange reason, and about 3/4 the way through the film i had to go to the bathroom, i went to pause it but the controller wasn't working so i put the volume up and left the bathroom door open so i could see at least part of the screen... It was at this point that i think for some odd reason the producers of the film ran out of money<spoiler alert>

Because when they spring out this story that it was all a set up with Rockwell at the helm, its all explained by a letter that rockwell left..HOW LAME IS THAT?? did rockwell have to go work on another movie at a set next door and couldnt stick around to finish this movie?? I mean the movie made you fall in love with the relationship between a father and daughter only to have it all be fake.. They did tie it in nicely with the reuniting of Cage with his Ex, but that looked like something rushed as well..This movie should have ended with one final BIG scam with Rockwell and Cage making like 2 million a piece and cage getting custody of his DAUGHTER and him telling her something like, "I opened a bank account for you, now that its official that i have joint custody", then she could open the checkbook and see one million dollars in the account! COME ON HOLLYWOOD, When in doubt let MACKDADDYSPLIFFS write the ending..

House of the Dead (2003)

Movie so bad im typing this review while it plays...

[1/10 · 31 January 2004]

Well...you know how when your a teenager and someone older warns you about a certain thing, then you go ahead and do it anyway and they look at you with that big smile and Say, "I TOLD YOU SO" well, Grin Imdb reviewers, I being of sound mind and body, and a devotee of Zombie films , chose to ignore the warnings, and boy am i sorry i did. Uwe boll, i hope you do more with your next two planned films especially for the sake of christian slater who is set to star in your next outing. The only analogy i could come up with for you releasing this film, is a 400 lb man eating 8 dominoes pizzas, 4 bags of cheetos, a tub of crisco and 10 lbs of chili, then running into the bathroom..and following a thunderous explosion, inviting the world in to see the remains! Keep it to yourself next time Uwe, i think the world would have negotiated and paid you NOT to release the movie..i know i would have shucked out 8 dollars instead of the 3.99 i paid to rent this horrid movie from hollywood video tonight by the way i will be returning it tomorrow first thing for my dollar credit for an early return Thank you Uwe for ruining my night!

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Every few years a movie that makes you think..What if?

[10/10 · 27 January 2004]

You know, its not that often...maybe once every three years or so that i walk into a theater, and after the credits begin to roll and i walk out to my car...Do i think about my life, the decisions i have made and how i could or could not have made better choices..Well..im glad i chose on this evening to go see The Butterfly Effect, and although i know Ashton didn't write the film, I want to give him kudos simply for surprising me, I've never even sat through an episode of THAT 70's Show, hell im the kinda guy that watches shows when their on late night tv 10 years after they played on prime time..And i have seen a few episodes of Punk'd, funny..cute..but not intelligent fare...But this movie is a MUST SEE, thats right...if your reading this, check your local movie theater to see when the next showing of it is on, and either call up a good friend to go see it with, or do like i did..see it alone..it's actually a good movie to see alone, and i think i've only seen two movies alone in my whole life... And when your walking out of the theater, possibly you will feel what i felt, a little regret, a little remorse, and maybe even a little decision to change what you can in your life now...

Wendigo (2001)

Would have been better if...

[21 January 2004]

Thia movie was just fine as a Deliverance type movie...the actors..Especially the actor playing otis gave me the same chilling feelings watching his performance as i felt when i was a child watching the deathwish films..they used to make me think, "What would happen if a guy like that was after my father?" it used to scare me much more then the horror films i loved so much, why..because it was a situation that was realistic, something that very well could happen, And even the minor players in the movie were awesome, the sheriff as he arrived at otis house to talk with him, talking bout "Them City Folk that come here". Actually at the time i write this review im only 3/4 the way through the movie, so perhaps the Wendigo will factor out better in the end...but for the first 3/4 of the film, it is just a distraction, and i felt the need to compliment the film on its merits after reading the bashing it received here, In closing Kudos to all the actors, the mother, the father, and even the child actor<who was a little dramatic and no child prodigy, but was believable>..All in all..i would have just changed the title of the film, and removed all clips of the WENDIGO, and had me a GOOD OLE TIME wit them THAR COUNTRY BOYS!!

Lucky (I) (2004)

Lucky..if you can stay awake!

[1/10 · 17 January 2004]

Well...i rented this movie only because i needed a second movie to rent at the video store and this one promised a dollar back if returned the next day...now i know why..they knew no one would want to keep this poor excuse of a movie in their house for more then a day. I believe it actually lowered my intelligence. The funny thing is, the main character rambles on as if he is supposed to be intelligent with a bunch of 50 cent words at best...and funny enough the only reason i rented this movie was the fact that the box description claimed a dog<which looked a little like the taco bell dog with a mohawk with an african american accent> actually talked, and told him things to do...well the dog never physically talks, it just talks TELEKENETICALLY...i would tell you more..but half way through the film my eyes began to close as well did my fiances...so at least this movie serves as a sleep aid...That sadly however is its only purpose. Please dont do like i normally do and rent the movie despite the bad review, when i say this movie sucks worse then having a dog p*ss on the leg of your best dress slacks...i mean it!!

Leprechaun 6: Back 2 Tha Hood (2003 Video)

a 10 in comparison!!!

[10/10 · 12 January 2004]

You know..if i were to judge this film without seeing any of the other leprechaun movies i would have to say i would rate it a strong 6 or a weak 7, but having suffered through the last 5 movies..and vaguely enjoying the first, i really liked this movie..im a fan of Warwick Davis and that was always the draw for me to watch these films but now must say i look forward to a Sequel..possibly Leprechaun: The Saint Patrick's Day Massacre, THEY NEED TO LEAVE OFF THE NUMBER if they wanna get it released in the theaters..

Heartbeeps (1981)

Pluto nash the prequel

[1/10 · 27 December 2003]

I thought of this movie when i watched pluto nash...why..because both movies have randy quaid playing a retarded robot, this movie made years earlier but probably written by a screenplay writer that drank the same biotoxic coffee or something like that...Whoa...AVOID AT ALL COSTS even to pay tribute to the late great Andy Kaufman is hard to do here...find another film or just watch taxi reruns on latenight tv...his latka gravas character is so much more loveable...TANK YOU BERRY MUCH

The Magic of Marciano (2000)

Pulled heart strings for me..

[10/10 · 22 December 2003]

It was hard to judge this movie unbiased as i am a product of a broken marriage and went through alot of things that the young child in this movie went through. And you know its amazing to me..if this kid didnt win some kind of award for his performance, it was enough to touch my heart. And i also noticed that of all those who voted on this movie, a large percentage of people rated it a 10, guess im not alone in having this movie touch me. Because when your as young as the main character was, and things happen to you that arent your fault and are beyond your control, you feel alone..so very Alone.

Spun (2002)

Pretty damn accurate...cough cough but how would i know?

[10/10 · 21 December 2003]

Well...lets just say i had a friend who had a friend cough cough and this movie was a pretty realistic ride through a three day binge on Meth... In fact after watching the movie i had to take three tylenol pm's to fall asleep cuz it made me have flashbacks, yeah.. ahem... i mean ahem it would have made me have flashbacks if i had actually ever did meth which i didnt i SWEAR!!!! wait a second this is like one big run on sentence... well in closing, John leguizamo was as usual awesome, brittany again amazes me at how well she plays the role of a wild and crazy girl, so much that i can hardly realize she is the same girl who played shy in clueless... You've come a long way baby.."I'll never tell" and mena..girl if you read this..Damn they messed your teeth up for this role, kudos to you just for letting them make you so damn ugly and film you! i know they took hours to make you look that ugly because your naturally beautiful! i would have gave this movie a 9/10 for the realism alone but because only 12% of the people rating it gave it a 10.. i decided to make like emeril and KICK IT UP A NOTCH! 10/10 for GRITTY REALISM and a rollercoaster ride..lest i forget my man Rourke..as usual perfect in a grimy seedy role.. When you gonna Box again Mick?

Dahmer (2002)

I would rather be eaten alive then to...well...

[1/10 · 17 December 2003]

Well maybe being eaten by jeffrey would have been worse but to have an hour and some odd minutes of my life eaten by this movie which i just watched on DVD tonight was close...i mean silly as it sounds, the featurette and trailer were more enjoyable to me then the movie..maybe its because im a serial killer book novel reader, that has followed all the great cases...gacy,bundy,gein,and even dahmer that im so judgemental...and i must say i did expect at least a little more gore then one OFF CAMERA head drill scene...

The Brooklyn Boys (2002)

Makes Sopranos look like silly..

[10/10 · 14 December 2003]

IF you like Sopranos you will love Brooklyn boys, i mean FUGHEDABOUTIT, this is right up there with GOODFELLAS, it just goes to show you that when you dont have a major film studio backing you, you can end up being a direct to video release, but oh what a gem...A must add to any gangster film afficianados dvd collection!!but dont look for it at blockbuster..they dont have it, i found it in a little mom n pop video store...and boy am i glad i did..

Used Cars (1980)

Now i know its not oscar material..

[10/10 · 9 December 2003]

Let me say just this...i havent even seen this movie in like 6 years..but what i do remember is being 16, and being able to watch this movie every time it was on! It was funny as hell...i put this up there with Steve Martins "the Jerk" another brainless comedy that made us laugh!

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Can watch this over and over

[10/10 · 12 November 2003]

This movie is funny, sexy, original, creative, awesome effects, scary/funny at parts, full of laughs, WAYANS need i say more..this movie rocks, i grew up on IN LIVING COLOR, and watching this movie only makes me wish the wayans brothers did all their projects together, they even make fun of the ghetto lifestyle in a way thats not offensive, why, cuz they can do that...i wish i could be friends with these guys, i would make a welcome addition to their creativity..KEEP IT COMING GUYS!!!

Rollerball (2002)

Not a 10, but not as bad as people say

[1/10 · 12 November 2003]

You know i just watched this movie, and although im glad i didnt shell out money to see it in a theatre, i did enjoy it...yeah it was cheesy in some parts, and was the worst movie i ever seen LL Cool J in,<well maybe except TOYS> i still watched the whole movie..I could have seen the movie ending alot better ways..like to have LL COOL J roll in with united states marine corps to save the day....but all in all...it just kills me because people are always so quick to beat down a movie, when they could never make even a 3 minute short film...

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

No WAYans this one is better then 2

[4/10 · 10 November 2003]

Well...i was going to wait till this came out on video to see it, and i wish i had, I actually caught scary movie 2 on cable the other day, and it made me yearn for more of the same, what i got was AIRPLANE on CRACK... i mean if you like Airplane or any other Leslie nielsen vehicles, then you'll probably be in heaven, but if your used to the usually WAYANS COMEDY, then you will be dissapointed, there was alot more Eye candy in this one which will keep young hormone raged teenage boys happy, which is probably why it was a box office hit the first week it came out. I enjoyed scary movie 2 ten times more then this fodder, and part one 5 times as much. Odd that the better of the 3 is part 2, but then again i always liked Halloween 2 better then the original as well..maybe its just me. The funniest part of the movie has to be the way the Aliens Say Goodbye. But that wasnt worth the 11 dollars i spent to catch a matinee of this with my fiance. Save yourself cash and catch part 2 again on cable till this is released on Video tape, and then Rent it, dont buy it.