witsend64 Reviews

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1972 TV Movie)

Decent TV movie-of-the-week

[7/10 · 22 January 2010]

Not a classic to be sure, but a decent TV movie-of-the-week adaptation of the oft-filmed Conan Doyle novel. Although it departs somewhat from the book, all the essential elements of the story are there. The cast does its best, and Granger makes an interesting Holmes. It would have been nice to have seen him as the Great Detective in other movies; he really was a class act. As noted by others, Bernard Fox is a more than adequate Dr. Watson. The costumes and sets are also good for a made-for-TV production of this era. But that music! You'd think that with the entire Universal Studios library of music at their disposal, the producers could have chosen more appropriate themes and cues!

At about 72 minutes, this brief version of a classic mystery makes an enjoyable time-filler; suitable for family viewing.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Don't Hit Me, Please!

[23 December 2003]

Okay, here's the deal. I know all you rabid fans out there hate anyone who dare criticizes these movies, but, honestly, didn't anybody else find the third installment a bit slow? I mean, I actually looked at my watch a few times, which I didn't do during the first two episodes.

While the first two movies (but especially the second one) were truly awe-inspiring, I found myself getting real frustrated with the last one. For example, I counted at least three endings before we finally reached the real one. The battle scenes were good but seemed a little too clunky to me. I thought some panoramic views were needed. Now, the battle at Helm's Deep was absolutely incredible, but this one was, frankly, kind of boring. I missed an identifiable "bad guy", like Christopher Lee. I know about that silly firey eyeball-thing, but it was just too much, and it's destruction was a bit of a let down. And for goodness sakes, Mr. Frodo needs to grow some...nerve. I got so tired of his near-faints and blank stares and sudden recoveries! Sometimes these little Hobbits can climb like the dickens, and other times it seems as though they can barely move. I hate to say this, but I was secretly hoping Frodo was going to jump off the ledge into the lava with ring! At least his (and my) agony would have been mercifully over!

But, I have to say, with the exception of Master and Commander, this movie will be the best of the year. Perhaps one too many trips to the well, though.

Great spider, I have to say.

Ghost Ship (2002)

Not too bad

[29 June 2003]

Okay, it's no classic, but it is pretty decent. The special effects were pretty decent, and the set design was terrific. I hated that awful music at end, though. And, as nice as they were, did we have to see that singer's breasts?

I wouldn't let the kids see this one--there are some disturbingly frightening and gory scenes here.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

Awful

[21 June 2003]

Okay, my sister-in-law is a huge fan of the first Matrix and raved about it's deep philosophical/theological meanings and wonderful special effects. I watched it on DVD and just didn't get it! My wife dragged me to see its sequal and still don't get it. At all! Keep in mind, I have Ph.D, and think really deep thoughts, but the only thought that kept popping into my head during Reloaded is, "Why don't they turn up the darn lights?" I mean, is this film dark or what? And all the actors look so dirty and greasy, I felt like taking a shower after watching it. And the so-called state of the art special effects came off looking (at least to me) so phony they actually made me laugh, especially during that l-o-n-g fight scene (you know the one). I swear, I almost fell asleep during parts of this movie. And the dialogue is so bad, I wonder how some of those actors could say the lines with a straight face. Now I know, somebody will rag me out and say how out of touch I am; but surely this cannot be an example of cutting-edge movie making. The sad thing is that too teenagers who see this are so dumbed down that they will actually think it's "revolutionary" or "life changing". This movie has "contempt" for it's audience written all over it.

The Core (2003)

Excellent

[6 April 2003]

This is the kind of movie Roger Corman would have made if he had a huge budget. These kinds of movies are my guilty pleasure; and this one was highly enjoyable.

The earth's core has stopped spinning and a rag-tag group of scientists and astronauts set out (or down) to jump start it before the earth above is cooked. It kind of reminded of another B-movie from a bygone era: Unknown World. They journeyed to the center of the earth in what looked like a big corkscrew, but in the 21st century, our heroes have a much more sophisticated laser equipped vehicle with TV's and air conditioning. Very cool transportation for 50 billion bucks!

The acting was first rate, although all Alfre Woodward had to do back at Mission Control was look worried, concerned and relieved. The special effects were pretty typical for this kind of picture, but the big crystalline bubble was terrific. The music was also great. But I still don't know about that earth's core spinning thing...can that really happen?? I guess the next time the birds go crazy in Trafalgar Square, we'll know why!

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Terrible

[27 March 2003]

What can be said about this? Michael Moore should not only apologize for his sleazy comments at the Academy Awards, but should move to Cuba, since he seems to hate this country so much. It's funny--how can a man hate a country so much, when the very things he deplores have made him a celebrity?

This movie skews way...way to the left in every way. If you sit through it, make sure you know the facts first. Don't take Mr. Moore's version of history as gospel.

This movie is sad.

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Looks so good

[27 March 2003]

I started seeing the trailers for this flick last year, and the trailers scared the beejeesus out of me. I looked forward to the movie with great anticipation, but was totally let down. How could they make a bad movie with Morgan Freeman?? I mean, they really had to try, I guess. The premise (alien invasion and government conspiracy, like the X Files) gets lost in a typical Stephen King backstory involving some dorky kids in Maine, of course. How many times can one author use the same story--I thought I was watching "It", another King movie; much better, I might add. The photography (in British Columbia, Canada) is stunning and the special effects are top-notch...but movie is really hard to sit through. The cast, including Morgan Freeman, does a great job and I'm sure they were all well-paid to appear in this.

Skip it and see something else this weekend.

Eyes in the Night (1942)

Surprise!

[26 March 2003]

What a gem of a movie! A blind detective, a Nazi plot and the smartest dog I've ever seen all make this a very enjoyable mystery/thriller. Young Donna Reed really is stunning and Mr. Arnold nails it as the blind detective. Great acting all the way around and some plot twists keep you watching. Enjoy it.

Mysterious Island (1961)

Fun!

[18 March 2003]

I saw this movie when I was a kid and I watched it tonight. Twenty five years later, it still enthralls me! Wonderful music, a terrific cast, and exotic locations (and a really big chicken) make this one a winner for the whole family. Get the popcorn and enjoy it.

D-Day the Sixth of June (1956)

Not the greatest

[6 March 2003]

This is one of those movies where history (IWW II) seems to get in the way of romance (Taylor and Wynter). He's a married American officer stationed in England, falling in love with a beautiful young Red Cross worker (Wynter), while she's already in love with a gung ho British officer (Todd). Wow! All that with bombs falling, guns firing and secret missions. Taylor and Wynter pull it off nicely, but the movie as a whole will leave you a little disappointed. Mind you, it is a good way to kill a couple of hours.

Tycus (1999 Video)

Not the best, not the worst

[25 February 2003]

A real B-movie, alright. Rip-off special effects, lazy acting, lousy music...but not a total disaster. This is one of those movies you can watch to kill 90 minutes. It's pretty inoffensive. I assume Dennis Hopper was well-paid! Good rental.

Saboteur (1942)

Outstanding

[19 January 2003]

It's a bit dated, and some of the dialogue is a bit laughable, but Hitch comes through. The final sequence atop the statue of liberty is truly memorable and reminds me of the Mount Rushmore sequence in North By Northwest. Priscilla Lane, who was so beautiful all she had to do was stand there, gives a standout performance. And Norman Lloyd, who isn't onscreen that much, is really creepy as the saboteur. The craftsmanship behind the camera puts many of today's films to shame.

Boston Blackie (1951–1953)

The lost have been found

[30 November 2002]

I just picked up half a dozen Boston Blackie TV episodes on DVD on eBay, of all places. The quality is only so-so, but the shows themselves are wonderful! I don't think they are as good as the old radio show or even the movies, but they certainly reflect TV's infant age and a delight to watch!

Firewalker (1986)

What are the odds...

[6 June 2002]

...of running a Jeep into a huge water-hole in the middle of the desert?I don't know, but Chuck Norris did in this surprisingly funny flick. It seems people either like it or hate it. Granted, it's no classic, but it is funny (not hilarious) and the whole family can watch it together. It has some pretty good gags (like our two heroes dressed up in priestly frocks) and one liners ("You'll still be bald"). It's a good example of efficient 80's film making. Don't expect a bloated CGI filled Speilberg epic. Firewalker is just plain fun.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Christopher Lee Rocks!

[25 May 2002]

Okay, this was not "Attack of the Groans", as I had been lead to believe, but it still has some problems. Way, way too much CGI and way, way, way too much of young Darth Vader. Who is this kid and why is he in this movie? He as awful. And Natalie Portman, who was so good in the first movie was a real let down here. Although, she has great abs. Lucas could have easily trimmed 30 minutes from this flick by cutting those two star crossed lover's scenes.

Christopher Lee, who must be 80 by now, steals the show. Man, can this guy act! He puts the rest of the youngins to shame. I hope he's back in the next Star Wars installment, and I hope he's given a lot more to do.

And who's idea was the sword fight between Yoda and Dooku? I guess I must be the only one who found it hilarious. Talk about prime material for the folks over at Saturday Night Live! I'd like to see Mike Myers' take on it in one of his Austin Powers movies.

All in all, I actually LOVED it and cannot wait to see the next one. Enjoy it, eat lots of popcorn and remember what it was like when you were a kid and these kinds of movies sucked you in.

The Perfect Storm (2000)

A Rollercoaster of a Ride

[2 May 2002]

I saw this movie when it first came out for four reasons: I love the sea, I remember the 'perfect storm", I have always loved James Horner's movie scores and I thihnk Diane Lane is the perfect woman. Well, I was not disappointed on any level. I felt the movie captured the feel of the lives of the men and women make their living on the sea. The effects were obviously CGI, but worked well. I know some people thought the acting was a bit flat, but I think all did well considering what the focus of the movie was: the storm, not the people. Horner's music is absolutely beautiful and moving. And did I mention Diane Lane is the perfect woman? She turns in a terrific performance. Even my dad, who hates any movie shot in color, was hooked after the first five minutes. Watch it, enjoy it and take it for what it is.

Sphinx (1981)

Slow, really slow

[12 January 2002]

This is probably the slowest movie I have ever seen, and that's saying a lot since I watch BBC TV on satellite. The story is confusing, the acting is poor, and the casting is unbelievable. Lesley-Anne Down is the movie's only redeeming quality, and she spoils it by having to speak that innane dialogue! I've watched worse, but I've never sat through a slower movie!

Murder Is Easy (1982 TV Movie)

Decent Mystery

[12 January 2002]

Pretty good mystery. Lesley-Anne Down has never looked better and Bill Bixby portrays the hapless American well enough. Plot twists abound and the viewer is left with a very satisfying mystery. Agatha Christie would approve!