J-Train Reviews

Pootie Tang (2001)

Not good.

[2/10 · 1 July 2001]

For the first five minutes of the movie, I was enjoying myself. The crime fighting of Pootie Tang was actually funny, something right out of Dolemite. As soon as that scene ended, though, the laughs came to a screeching halt. I can't really point to a single reason (or even a vague idea) as to why the movie wasn't funny. It simply wasn't. If the movie was only 5 minutes long, I would have enjoyed it. In my opinion, though, it was about an hour and 15 minutes too long.

Steamboat Willie (1928)

Animation has come a long way...

[5/10 · 14 April 2001]

This is not, as a number of others have said, Mickey Mouse's first cartoon. It was actually his third. This was his first -sound- cartoon. In any case it's still an important landmark in animation. This is fun to look at if only for nostalgia and to see how far the medium has come since this short was made in 1928. There really isn't a story to speak of but there are a few laughs. Worth seeing if you are a fan of Disney, Mickey, or just animation in general.

Dracula 2000 (2000)

Cool Idea, Bad Movie

[4/10 · 3 January 2001]

While the premise of the movie actually had me interested at first, there is really no substance to the film. The only thing that really stands out in my mind as I write this is the constant product placement of Virgin Records, which was just plain annoying. If you are a big vampire fan, wait and rent it. Otherwise, you can just skip it. 4/10

Airplane! (1980)

The funniest movie ever made!

[9/10 · 6 December 2000]

This movie has to have the greatest joke-per-minute ratio in the history of film. Almost every line in it is a joke, and almost every one hits its mark. I have never talked to anyone that didn't like this movie. Great comic performances all around (even Kareem)! No matter how many times I see it, it still makes me laugh. In fact, it gets funnier every time! This is one of those movies that you can watch with your friends and just laugh, even as you quote along with the movie. 10 out of 10!

Lost Highway (1997)

Puzzling

[5/10 · 7 August 2000]

After watching the movie, I can't quite grasp how I feel about it. This is most likely due to the fact that I am not 100% certain that my idea about what happened is correct. But then, maybe it's one of the rare movies that actually <gasp> wants you to make up your own meaning. Well, even so, I still can't decide if I liked it or not. At times it was fascinating, at others I was bored. If you are a fan of Lynch, you will no doubt appreciate this. If you don't like Lynch, you should certainly not watch this. If you don't know Lynch and you like to view styles that you don't see in mainstream movies, give it a try. I can't promise that you will like it, but it is definitely an experience.

Hard Target (1993)

Bad Film by a Great Director

[4/10 · 6 August 2000]

John Woo has made some great movies but this certainly isn't one of them. With Van Damme as the star, I guess they wanted to do more hand to hand combat instead of the gunplay that Woo is famous for. Well the movie suffers for it. Wilford Brimley doesn't help things either. At least Woo had a reason for making this movie, as it got him known by American audiences. This one doesn't approach Woo's earlier works like Hard Boiled or The Killer, and neither is it up to par with his later American movies. Only see it if you are a die hard Woo or Van Damme fan. 4 out of 10

Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

Just plain bad.

[2/10 · 12 June 2000]

This was the worst movie I have seen so far this year, and I will be surprised if I see one that is worse for the rest of the year. I understand and accept the fact that plot is not the most important thing in an action movie. I usually can enjoy action movies for what they are. But this movie was bad. It moved slow, had paper thin characters, and the dialogue was horrible. I actually laughed out loud at some of the lines. The car chase was decent but not as good as I'd hoped for. It doesn't come close to Ronin, French Connection, or even the Blues Brothers. Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

Frequency (2000)

Good movie, if you can ignore the plot holes.

[6/10 · 20 May 2000]

First off, let me say that the idea behind this movie was very good. The execution of the idea was disappointing in my opinion, though I'll admit that my opinion seems to be in the minority here. While the story was promising I found myself distracted by many glaring plot holes that always seem to come up in time travel movies. The whole way they dealt with the "time issue" bothered me, especially in respect to John.

***Spoilers Ahead! Skip if you don't want some plot revealed!***

Why does John remember the past in which his father died? In theory, if he were to save his father's life like he did in the movie, everything in his life would then be different from that day on. And while John did gain all these new memories, he still kept the old ones. No other character remembers this "alternate reality" but for reasons left unexplained, John does. Granted, the movie wouldn't work if he lost all the memories but it bothered me that they didn't even try to explain it.

Another thing that bothered me was things taking place simultaneously in the past and the present. If Frank carved something into a desk in 1969, John shouldn't be able to see the letters being formed in the desk in 1999. They should have been there for the last 30 years of his life. Same thing with the Nightengale Killer's hand. It wouldn't suddenly disappear in the present, it would have been gone for 30 years.

While I'm on the subject, isn't it amazing that the Killer was able to stay on the lamb for 30 years and then returned to attack John in his house? Never mind the fact that their conversation at the bar should never have taken place.

What exactly in the past influenced John's relationship with Samantha? In the "original" present they have just separated, then she doesn't hardly know him, then they have kids together? What???

***End of Spoiler***

Basically, the problem for me was that the movie sometimes approached the two times as if they were occurring at the same time, when things should be happening 30 years apart from one another. I admit that the whole idea is unrealistic, but I was able to look past that. The way the issue of time was dealt with just proved to be a great distraction for me. I give it a 6 out of 10.

Road Trip (2000)

Aims low, and hits there too.

[6/10 · 12 May 2000]

While this wasn't a horrible movie, it wasn't that good either. There were some funny parts to be sure, but a lot of it is just plain dumb. And not funny-dumb either, just dumb. Lots of cheap jokes and gross-out humor that just doesn't hit. I didn't really care about any of the characters and a couple of them were down-right annoying. Seann William Scott plays exactly the same character he played in American Pie and was one of the few bright spots of the film. Tom Green was funny as always too, but he and Scott were simply not enough to rescue the film from just being average. If you loved American Pie, you'll like this.