Bordello of Blood (1996) User Reviews

Bordello of Blood in one scene

[aeroboy · 6/10 · 3 September 2006]

"Bordello of Blood" is about a Christian woman (Erika Eleniak) who is looking for his missing goth brother (Corey Feldman) and therefore hires a private detective to find him (Dennis Miller). It turns out that the women of the bordello are vampires, and the place is being run by a Reverend (Chris Sarandon) who wants to get rid of sinners.

Lots of comments deal with the fact that this movie is gory and filled with nudity; it's true, and I think there is a scene that captures its spirit:

Dennis Miller and the Reverend, decide to kill Lilith (Angie Everhart), the "leader" of the vampires. Of course, they have to deal with the vampire women in the house first, so the decide to carry...Waterguns filled with Holy Water!!! Then all hell breaks loose: they shoot their water guns at the nude women, who explode into guts or get caught on fire after being hit. This happens while "Ballroom Blitz" is being played.

Overall "Bordello of Blood" its not as scary as it is silly. Dennis Miller is great as the detective, and there is a cameo appearance by Whoopi Goldberg as a patient in a hospital.

Slightly inferior to Demon Knight, but in some ways better

[TBJCSKCNRRQTreviews · 6/10 · 27 July 2004]

While I enjoyed the humor and the Crypt Keepers puns more in this than in Demon Knight, the overall experience of this is just slightly inferior. This one suffers mainly under not having such an entertaining villain/main monster as the first one; Lilith does have some decent lines, but almost all of them were sexual innuendos, which gets old a little too fast. The Collector was more entertaining, with his cynical and sarcastic personality. There's also less "action" in this one, though there might be slightly more gore. In this one, the plot also moves along a little too slowly, considering the fact that it's only meant as entertainment; with that in mind, you have to wonder why it takes so long to tell the story and get to the gore and blood. The ending sequence was also slightly less entertaining and exciting than the one in Demon Knight. Like Demon Knight, the film manages to bring in plenty of both sex and violence, often both at the same time. Apart from Rafe(Dennis Miller), there weren't really any interesting or entertaining characters. Miller does a really great job, portraying the type of character he usually does; a slimy, sarcastic jerk. That is the Miller that we fans know and love. It's nice to see him in a role that compliments his talents so well. The film, like Demon Knight, is very gory and violent, although apart from the Crypt Keepers puns, and some of Miller's lines, this didn't have that much to offer. It's good enough to watch, if you've got 90 minutes to kill, and you don't want to see Demon Knight, don't want to re-watch it, or can't find it. The films are both worth watching, but I'd suggest Demon Knight over this one. I recommend it(like the first) to fans of gory horror films, and people who just want to be entertained for 90 minutes without having to think very much. 6/10

"You're reminding me why being married to you drove me to the brink of homosexuality."

[utgard14 · 5/10 · 4 August 2014]

Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing brother Caleb (Corey Feldman). Rafe's search leads him to a brothel run by centuries-old vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart). The second of the 'Tales from the Crypt Presents' movies is nowhere near as good as the criminally underrated Demon Knight. It's not a scary movie, nor does it really try to be. It's a comedy, with Dennis Miller having a ball throwing out one liner after one liner. If only the rest of the movie matched his performance. The story is so slight you'll wonder if the entire script was jotted down on a napkin. The movie's primary selling point is sex and nudity, of which there is not a lot. Especially disappointing when you consider that the two most well-known women in the film, Everhart and Eleniak, never appear nude. Still, a fun tone with a great turn by Miller makes it worth watching once.

Incredibly schlocky, but fun

[dj_bassett · 18 February 2005]

BORDELLO is far inferior to FROM DUSK TIL DAWN, which came out around the same time, but both have similar central ideas: a bordello (well, in DAWN it was a strip bar) that's a front for vampires. This one's in the basement of a funeral home; Corey Feldman's an early victim. Dennis Miller (of all people -- was Jon Lovitz out sick that week?) is the PI who's looking into Feldman's disappearance for Erika Eleniak, a born-again type.

Pluses include tons of gratuitous nudity, tons of gratuitous gore, Corey Feldman, who belongs in these kind of roles, Dennis Miller wisecracking his way through everything, a midget, a creepy old guy playing a necrophiliac, good uses of "Thirty Days in the Hole" and "Ballroom Blitz", and Angie Everhart chewing the scenery. Minuses include too much Chris Sarandon, too much of the spectacularly unfunny Cryptkeeper, not nearly enough vampire sex to suit me (we're in a bordello, c'mon), and a bit too much lazy "we know it sucks, just ride with it" vibe for my taste.

So it's not a schlock masterpiece. But its fun, and even it's tongue in cheek tone is preferable to the self-serious schlock one puts up with nowadays.

Cheesy, dated, only good if you like 1990s horror comedies

[Leofwine_draca · 5/10 · 11 February 2018]

BORDELLO OF BLOOD is the second of the TALES FROM THE CRYPT TV series film spin-offs and a sequel to DEMON KNIGHT, which I enjoyed. Sadly, this one is a much inferior vehicle, telling a cliched story via a script full of the lamest and cheesiest one-liners imaginable; it literally sounds as if it took the writers about five seconds to come up with each gag. If you're looking for wit, you'd do well to check elsewhere. The story itself is a dragged-out little enterprise about vampires in a brothel and seems to directly copy FROM DUSK TILL DAWN on more than one occasion. The unknown-to-me Dennis Miller is an unlikeable lead and Angie Everhart is very poor as the chief vampire, but at the same time there are positives here too. There are a ton of references to films and TV shows and some good actors in support: Chris Sarandon as a pastor, Aubrey Morris as the creepy house host, Corey Feldman as a tearaway. The film also features plenty of (decent) rubbery gore effects and some glimpsed early CGI. It's not the worst I've seen, but if you're looking for quality you're better off sticking with DEMON KNIGHT.

Good Bloody Fun.

[Mr_Censored · 7/10 · 6 February 2010]

Blood, breasts, vampires and Chris Sarandon. How can you go wrong?

"Bordello of Blood," the second "Tales From The Crypt" feature film, supplies the viewer with ample amounts of all of the above, leaving room for little else. What it lacks in story, it more than makes up for in its cheap thrills, and as far as midnight guilty pleasures go, this one is about as good as it gets.

The story revolves around a good-girl (Erika Eleniak) whose delinquent brother (Corey Feldman) goes missing. Upon hiring a wise-cracking private detective, it is revealed that a local morgue is housing a brothel run by a gang of beautiful but deadly vampires. Armed with super-soakers full of holy water and with the help of a guitar-slinging reverend (Chris Sarandon), the two set out to put the joint out of business once and for all.

Dennis Miller is essentially playing himself, but keeps the humor pumping through the film's ridiculous premise. Chris Sarandon, likewise, is in top form as the genre hero he truly is. As mentioned before, there's plenty of bare-flesh and red-stuff to go around, and if that sort of thing is your bag, you'll have a blast with "Bordello of Blood." Take it for the cheap thrill ride it is.

Horrible

[BandSAboutMovies · 2/10 · 31 May 2021]

After Bob Gale and Robert Zeleckis graduated from USC, they wanted to break into movies and decided that an exploitation film was the easiest way in. They pitched this script to John Milius, yet ended up debuting with 1941.

When Tales from the Crypt - the TV series - started becoming a series of movies, instead of mining the old EC Comics, like the show and movies based on it, like Creepshow did, the idea was to make longer stand-alone films that were not adaptions. I could be cynical and say that it was just using the brand name to make movies that no one wanted otherwise, but Demon Knight was so good that I couldn't think that way.

Bordello of Blood is exactly the kind of junk I figured they'd make. This script was picked instead of others consdiered, including Peter Jackson's The Frighteners and Quentin Tarantino's From Dusk till Dawn.

At a budget of $2.5 million dollars, the film looks cheaper than the TV series that gave it life, which is quite backward. And while Joel Silver was the producer, that led to all manner of questionable decisions, like his idea that supermodel actresses was what would change Hollywood and hiring Dennis Miller, who did not want to be in the movie and said he'd only do it for a million dollars. The studios said no, so Silver palyed fast and loose with the books and took $750,000 out of the special effects budget. You can really tell. During the holy watergun fight with the evil sex workers, the effects go from really good to beyond horrible, often within the same shot.

Further problems came up when Erika Eleniak - who had left Baywatch because she wanted to be taken seriously as an actress - allegedly did not want to play the character of Catherine. What a movie! Two actors that had no interest in being in it, a sliced and diced special effects budget and a movie shot in Canada due to Silver's past union issues, which further had a non-union crew angered by the fact that Miller would rarely show up, working around the schedule of his Dennis Miller Live TV show, keeping them from seeing their families on weekends. Oh yeah - the script supervisor who was Miller's stand-in - lots of the movie was shot without him - couldn't remember all of Miller's dialogue, which he'd frequently ad-lib, so the movie is filled with continuity issues.

The film starts on a great note, as some treasure hunters find the grave of Lilith, the queen of all vampires. They're all killed by her except for the one who has the key from Demon Knight. Speaking of that film, it's hero William Sandler has a cameo as a mummy in the Crypt Keeper segment.

Then, Caleb (Corey Feldman) and his buddy Reggie get attacked by vampires in a house of ill repute, revealing Lilith as Angie Everhart - that supermodel idea - and Tallulah as Juliet Reagh, Penthouse Pet for April 1987. Caleb's sister - Eleniak - hires Rafe Guttman (Miller) to find her brother, bringing him to the titular bordello of blood.

Hey, the movie at least is good for trivia, as you have two of the stars of the 80's bigger vampire movies - Feldman from Lost Boys and Chris Sarandon from Fright Night - in the cast. It also has a completely non-sensical ending that ignores all traditions of vampirism. And oh yeah - Reggie is played by Matt Hill, who was the voice of Raphael to Feldman's Donatello in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies.

This is the only movie Gilbert Adler would direct, althiough he produced Constantine and wrote Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice.

As for this being a heavy metal movie, it does have a soundtrack with Anthrax doing the theme song, Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz" - everyone used that in their movies at one point - and Redd Kross covering Kiss' "Deuce."

Honestly, this movie could have an entire soundtrack by Black Sabbath and I'd still hate it.

One of my favorite guilty pleasures: a most awesome B-movie extravaganza!!!

[mattymatt4ever · 7/10 · 24 September 2001]

I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute blast!!!

I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!

I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)

Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!

So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.

My score: 7 (out of 10)

Okay camp horror movie

[Gislef · 5/10 · 28 March 2001]

As a horror movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all, Bordello is okay. It's hard to believe that Miller gives it such a hard time on his HBO show: it's not bad for what it is: a trashy little horror/humor/camp movie that gives Miller center-stage with his own brand of humorous asides. The ending is kinda twisty, Aubrey Morris' performance is downright weird but amusing, and there's plenty of new-style horror "gore" thrown in. The female leads are pretty much wasted, and there's way too much unnecessary nudity. Bordello's real problem is simply that it pales in comparison to the excellently done Demon Knight. It's basically a whole different, campy concept (and what's up with Will Sadler's wasted cameo as the Mummy?). It's okay, but nothing special: Dennis Miller fans will get a kick out of it.

Funny...trashy, but funny

[AllisonLVenezio · 7/10 · 25 October 2005]

Before I write this interview, I wanted to just explain that I have been a Dennis Miller fan since I was 11 (1994), and he was the only reason I saw this movie. I also think he was one of the aspects of this movie that held redeeming value. In addition, purchased it new for less than $10 a few years ago, and it is in my Halloween movie collection. With that out of the way, I'll start my review.

Vampress Lilith (Angie Everhart) is brought to life again after a long rest in one of the far corners of the world by Reverend Jimmy Current (Chris Sarandon) and his partner Vincent. The two establish a bordello disguised as a funeral home to attract "evil" local young men. The men can "get stiff among the stiffs," but men start disappearing. This disappearance of local young men hits close to home for Katherine Verdoux(Erika Eleniak) when her rebellious younger brother Caleb (Corey Feldman) goes missing. So, she hires a Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) a wisecracking, seedy private investigator with good intentions and a quite unusual case--all involving this mortuary with secrets. Rafe and Katherine put themselves into a mystery that crosses the boundary of the living and the dead--rather, the undead.

This movie, thought quite funny, is a bad movie. That's just how it is. Going into this movie, the title itself is an indication of how trashy or bad it really is. But man, is it a fun trip! I found myself laughing at pretty much all the right scenes and all the right lines. Its as though the lines are tailored for Miller himself, it is perfect shtick for him. Most of the movies he's been in had parts written especially for him, but this was perfect. My first impression of Rafe is that he's a jerk, but I discovered (rather quickly) that he is rather good-natured and good-intentioned, and that he truly wants to help Katherine out.

There are two scenes I absolutely loathed about this movie--the scene where Lilith encounters Rafe in his office (I turn the channel off or fast-forward the tape), and the opening scene of the movie where Lilith is discovered by Rev. Current and Vincent (this is only watchable once). Otherwise, this movie is quite funny and interesting if you plan on getting into it. My biggest beef (spoiler) is that we don't even meet our hero until roughly 20 minutes into the movie! When you're first billed, doesn't this mean you'll show up earlier in the film? I guess someone missed one of the most important parts of film-making, or at least credit order. But, its OK, really, it's not the worst thing about the film.

This is essentially a bad movie. I read another review that says that it seems Dennis Miller is letting the viewers know this. He sure is! This is one of those so-bad-it's-funny kind of movies (why it used to be in the horror section of the video store I have no idea). However, Dennis Miller is hysterical in it!! I loved his moments--he had a lot of good ones.

I liked when he goes to the "Cunningham wake," and watches as the men lift the coffin out of the room, but struggle with it. Guttman, observing the scene, says "Wow, she really was a heavyweight." He does make some of the most classically bad facial expressions I have witnessed in a long time (honestly, after seeing this, I want to know what acting school I have to go to just to learn to "Act the Dennis Miller Way"). My favorite scenes are the Super Soaker scene (I won't divulge on this too much, not to spoil it, but it is a classic scene not to me missed), the scene where he sneaks back into the mortuary to investigate, and when Rafe heads into the coffin drop to visit the Bordello.

So why 7 out of 10 stars? One point deducted for the opening scene, which tends to be long and drawn-out. Watch this once, and you'll understand what is going on. What redeems this film is that after this point in the film, it becomes better, and the plot begins to move a little. One the same point, the entire first twenty minutes of the film is a complete drag. Skip the introduction on the next viewing. Another point deducted for the scene where Lilith encounters Rafe in his office--this scene is just a complete turn-off to me (2, 4, 6, 8--You can watch me masturbate!--yuck). And a third point deducted for the nudity. Yes, I know, it's a bordello, yes, they're supposed to be nude. But, I 'm a female, and I don't take pleasure in watching naked women prance around. But, I'm flexible, so I pushed past that dislike and ignored it. The bad acting isn't even a negative--it adds to the movie's silly nature.

This is a great Halloween movie, but non-Dennis Miller fans may be turned off by it. Maybe not, I don't know. The acting is pretty bad, but that's the point--it's not Oscar-caliber material. I highly recommend this movie--it has its moments that make is memorable (probably not for all the right reasons, but it tries). Some classic scenes make it funny, and you just may watch it more than once (I have!). Just try not to read too much into it. It really is quite an enjoyable diversion.

Enough words to meet the requirements for a review

[jessegehrig · 3/10 · 18 September 2013]

The only problem with this movie is Dennis Miller. Well, then there is Corey Feldman, O.K. the only two problems with this movie are Dennis Miller and Corey Feldman. The actual story, y'know, the story the producers should have gone with, is the story of the TV preacher played by Chris Sarandon and his deal with Angie Everhart's Lilith. That's the story, that's where all the life is. Dennis Miller seems merely inserted into the action, like he got some points in his contract where he gets his own movie in exchange for services to be rendered later, so he is retrofitted into some script, in this case a Tales From The Crypt thing. It all comes off so forced and superfluous to the plot. That and Dennis Miller has no charisma, he's is an unpleasant little man devoid of life and vitality. But you do get to see some titties.

Dennis Miller rules!

[JCrewPsycho1980 · 10/10 · 1 June 2003]

This movie is funny as hell and has tons of gore, why don't people like this? The great Chris Sarandon is also in this(Fright Night) and we get to see one of the Coreys play a fun vampire. Oh yeah, there are hundreds of hot women with breast implants running around naked and exploding. This movie is awesome!

Funny Black Comedy with a Great Conclusion

[claudio_carvalho · 7/10 · 25 January 2015]

The dwarf Vincent Prather (Phil Fondacaro) leads an expedition to the Tierra del Fuego following an ancient map. He arrives at a cave where there is a coffin instead of a treasure. He opens a box with four pieces of a heart and revives the mother of all vampires Lilith (Angie Everhart) that kills his employees. Vincent uses a key artifact with blood to control and protect himself from Lilith.

The punk Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) has an argument with his sister Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak ) and leaves their house to go to a bar to meet a friend. They learn that there is an amazing brothel at 325 Beaumont, a funeral home where they should ask for the Cunningham Wake. They are received by the mortician McCutcheon (Aubrey Morris) and soon they go to the brothel. However Lilith runs the place and the girls are vampires. Caleb's friend is killed by Lilith that that rips his heart out of his chest and then Caleb is attacked by her.

Katherine goes to the precinct to report that her brother is missing but the police officer does not give much attention to her. The private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) overhears her conversation and offers his services to Katherine. The snoopy Rafe tracks Caleb's path and he discovers that the brothel seems to be a lair of vampires. But Katherine, who works with Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) that has a business connection with Lilith, does not believe in his word. Now Rafe is seeking evidences to prove to Katherine that he is telling the truth.

"Bordello of Blood" is an underrated gore comedy of vampires. The plot is funny, with beautiful and hot female vampires, and also with a great unexpected conclusion. The comedy is a funny parody of horror and crime genres with the sexy Angie Everhart and Erika Eleniak. But Dennis Miller steals the movie in the role of a sleazy but efficient private eye. Lilith's tongue reaching the heart of her victims is hilarious; however the funniest scene is when Rafe teams up with Reverend Current and they use squirt guns with holy water to defeat the female vampires, exploding them. When the viewer expects a happy ending, with the good guy and the good girl together, there is an unforeseen conclusion. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "O Bordel de Sangue" ("The Brothel of Blood")

Note: On 06 November2020, I saw this film again.

Oh my God, it's a necrophiliac's wet dream!

[lastliberal · 5/10 · 19 October 2007]

With Dennis Miller, you can expect that this will not be the usual Vampire movie. He makes constant references to movies, TV stars, and other personalities throughout. It is hard to believe that he didn't get writing credit as i imagine many of the lines were his. That's just a guess.

Dennis certainly has his eyes on Erika Eleniak (Under Siege) throughout, as do we. She can't hide behind that uptight Christian persona, and she gets to come out of her shell and deliver what all of us that despise Deniss Miller wanted to see.

It also features Angie Everhart (First to Die) as the head vampire. The first fire-top on Glamour magazine, Angie didn't give us the display she had in Jade, but she was hot hot hot throughout. Unfortunately, she was really hot towards the end.

Lots of gore and sexual innuendo. Despite his best efforts, Miller did not completely ruin the film.

You Might Get Infected By Just Watching.

[tfrizzell · 13 November 2003]

Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.

Now I don't want to get off on a crypt here...

[Quinoa1984 · 5/10 · 28 February 2000]

But I think this film has some good things in it despite some cheesy effects and a not exactly great plot. For instance, Dennis Miller. He brings the film through it's lulls with his wicked sense of humor and odd sense of morale. He works very well in this vampire film that is better than the last "Crypt" movie. One of the best horror films of 96.

Well, not AS bad as I expected... but not as good as Demon Knight... =)

[GrbgFAN · 7/10 · 11 August 1999]

Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...

A nasty bit of SCARnal knowledge I call, Bordello of Blood.

[tbills2 · 5/10 · 29 October 2018]

Erika Eleniak should be the very main star of Bordello of Blood. I'm not sure ALL the drugs the filmmakers, cast, crew, extras, producers, writers, behind the scenes assistants, casting directors, editors, and puppeteers were doing during shooting but I at least know a few and also, the decision to ordain Dennis Miller as the primary protagonist in this film, Bordello of Blood (BoB), is such a living and an ongoing, never-ending, hellish, freakish nightmare that I would LITERALLY rather spend some quality (qt) time at the Bordello of Blood with all those super hot topless vampire babes and have a fun little trip down that coffin ride than have to watch this '90s cinematic feature for ANY reason other than for the reason of seeing all of the hot girls at the Bordello naked, mainly Angie but she doesn't even appear nude in this. It's quite exquisitely astounding just how excruciatingly bad everything that takes place outside of the bordello of blood is. Angie Everhart is hot. She's really hot, like the hottest supermodel ever, looking as hot as hell. But Erika's way, way hotter. Corey Feldman's great in this, but his character's totally wasted by badly timed doses injected into the heart of the story. Erika Eleniak is so underutilized; it's really a crying shame. She can act. Feldman used to be good in movies. I love Corey Feldman; he's as classic and old school as you get, for my generation. Eleniak's talent is almost totally wasted in this movie and that's kinda funny because she looks like the only one on set NOT totally wasted but her beauty IS quite sobering. Chris Surandon's beautiful as the reverend, but his character again, is wasted, totally. Bordello of Blood (BoB) could have been so much funnier and funner and cooler and sexier and tempting and nicer than it is minus its God awful plot. The characters fail miserably. All them. I love Dennis Miller but I really love Erika, however, they have poorish chemistry at times. Angie Everhart is the main, primary, and basic (mp&b) reason to watch Bordello of Blood (BoB). I love Bordello of Blood, and if you rate this movie higher than a 5 then you are truly bizarre and if you rate this fun flick lower than a 5 then you are deeply possessed by dark spirits because Angie Everhart's really sexy in this and D. Miller carries the movie and Erika Eleniak's amazing in it and William Sadler from Demon Knight's good as the mummy and I love Bordello of Blood (BoB).

(TftC: BoB's classic Cryptkeeper)

Decent, campy, vampire flick from the HBO Series.

[hu675 · 7/10 · 23 November 2007]

A wise-cracking sleazy Private Eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is been hired from a born again lady (Erika Eleniak) to find her punk goth brother (Corey Feldman). Rafe discovers an bordello, which it's also a funeral home. Then he meets the seductive Lillith (Angie Everhart), who's actually Queen of the Vampires. Her sexy employees are also vampires, which they seduced lonely or horny mens for survival. Now Rafe has to destroy Lillith before it's too late.

Directed by Gilbert Alder made an watchable tongue in cheek horror/comedy from the popular HBO series. Which it was inspired by the horror comic books of the 1950's of the same title "Tales from the Crypt". The cast seems to be having a great time here, including Chris Sarandon (Who played an seductive vampire in "Fright Night") and Phil Fondacaro as Vincent. Especially when Miller and Sarandon are destroying Vampires with Supersoakers. This is the second film from what it meant to be a trilogy. Which the first movie was "Demon Knight", it was a modest box office success. When "Bordello of Blood" flopped at the box office, the third film never happened sadly.

Perphas the problem with the picture, it's the script by the director and A L Katz. It's never as good or amusing as we hoped to be. Although the story credit came from Bob Gale (Back to the Future Trilogy, Trespass, Used Cars) and Oscar-Winner Director:Robert Zemeckis (Beowulf, Cast Away, The Polar Express). Probably if Gale and Zemeckis wrote the script instead, this could have been a much enjoyable movie. Which they wrote excellent scripts together. The film is occasionally funny and Miller does his best by making this fun. There's enough campy sleaze, dark humour, in-jokes and gore by seeing this uninspired picture worth a look. The motion picture soundtrack of the movie is a lot better than the movie to some degree. William Sadler and Oscar-Winner:Whoopi Goldberg appears in amusing cameos. (***/*****).

Terrible movie and a clear sign the show was jumping the shark

[bellino-angelo2014 · 3/10 · 27 July 2021]

I loved most of the 93 episodes of the original show and I loved also DEMON KNIGHT. So I had to watch this movie too but I really hated it (and the fact that it was released in the year of the last season certainly says a lot!).

It begins with a group of researchers that go in an underground tomb and revive Lilith the mother of all vampires with the blood-stained key from DEMON KNIGHT, but little they know that Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) has opened a brothel for making the sinful men go there and punish them for their sins. The first person that falls in the trap is Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) and after he goes missing his sister Katherine does everything with the help of a detective for making the brothel close forever. They will succedd but not without some disasters after another.

I hated this movie mostly because at times it looked like an excuse for the makers of using disgusting special effects just for the sake of shocking viewers. Scenes like when Lilith picked the head of a friend of Caleb, snapped it from his neck and the fluids were coming out kinda grossed me out and it's a miracle that I saw the movie until the very end. And William Sadler and Whoopie Goldberg (two guest stars of the original show) have pointless cameos that you blink and they are gone. And at times I nearly felt bored.

If you loved the show (and also DEMON KNIGHT) I won't recommend this movie as it was a very painful experience for me and it kinda betrays the show's lovers. Easy to skip.

A stupid movie that is fun to watch. Not as good as Demon Knights.

[TOMNEL · 6/10 · 17 June 2005]

Bordello of Blood-1996-Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Chris Sarandon, Aubrey Morris, Corey Feldman, Angie Everhart, Phil Fondacaro, John Kassir(as the cryptkeeper) and William Sadler(as the mummy).

This is a very silly movie. After Katherine's(Eleniak) Gothic brother Kaleb(Feldman) goes missing, she calls on an investigator Rafe Guttman(Miller) to find him. The search ends at a whore house where he had gone earlier in the film. Chris Sarandon is so funny and over the top and really steals the show. He plays a crooked priest that sends sinners to their death at a bordello that Kaleb had gone to earlier. Angie Everhart plays the head vampire Lillith and is one of the worst actresses ever so lucky for you, she isn't in all that much of it, but she is in too much. The film has the minor subplot opening and closing of the cryptkeeper at a café with his old friend the mummy talking about how their tomb isn't big enough for the both of them.

My rating-6/10. rated R for nonstop nudity and sexual humor, strong language, some gory violence and a scene with some crude fart jokes.

Tales from the crapper: the Lost files

[dussaultjulien · 1/10 · 29 December 2019]

My gosh, this has to be one of the worst TV show based movies that I've ever seen. Dennis Miller is not funny, Sly Stallone's girlfriend at the time was not sexy or even remotely interesting oh, and the story wasn't either.

Dennis Miller plays a washed-up PI who gets the case of the lifetime from a reserved Catholic blond, who is the secretary for a rock and roll Church and her brother, who is played by Corey Feldman, went to an orgy and never came back. Happens all the time right?

Dennis Miller decides to investigate after our blond friend pays him to find out what happened to her brother. Sounds like it might be good right? If you think that, you're As dead wrong As the Crypt Keeper himself.

The writing is horrible, the pacing is horrible and Dennis Miller's quips throughout the film are neither funny, nor relevant and sometimes even so obscure that only Quentin Tarantino would know what he's talking about.

There's a reason why this movie is not rated above a 5-star, honestly it should be below a five-star, it's horrible and one of the worst Tales from the Crypt movies ever. It's the whole reason why we didn't get a third movie.

If anybody tells you that this movie is good, they are lying to you or either have extremely poor taste in cinema. Don't bother with this one. By the time I hit the 45-minute Mark I was riding an Agony while reaching for the clickie and hitting skip until I got to the horrible, no good ending.

Funny and entertaining

[stephen-59 · 8/10 · 10 August 1999]

I don't care what anyone say's this is a good movie. It's funny and really entertaining. There isn't a dull moment. But it doesn't really belong in the horror movie genre actually there is no genre for Horror/Comedy/Action/Porn.

Dennis Miller + vampires = Fun!

[tbill · 6/10 · 7 October 2000]

Dennis Miller finding himself stuck in a gore flick is much funnier than I expected. Combine his sarcastic wit with a bunch of vampires and other things that go bump in the night and you'll have an idea of what you have to look forward to. Lots of blood, breasts and beasts for those who love such things, IYKWIM&ITYD.

Atrocious

[harryplinkett14 · 1/10 · 25 August 2013]

Words cannot describe just how bad this thing is. The plot is nonsensical, the characters empty, the dialogue beyond moronic, the action boring, the scares non-existent, the humour completely absent. Add to that poor direction and some of the most confusing editing ever witnessed in cinema... This is an orgy of stupidity and bad taste. It boggles the mind how a project like this ever got greenlighted.

Nothing in this film makes sense and apart from the stupidity one can't help but notice the nudity. I suppose the target audience for this were males between the ages of 12 and 16, with raging hormones, IQ below 70, and no sex life.