qubit01 Reviews

The Orville (2017–2022)

Better and better; but where's Dann?

[10/10 · 29 August 2023]

This show started well, with solid characters who only seemed a little bit like copies of their Trek counterparts. There was, of course, your standard "Family Guy" humor, which is okay if you're under thirty. Not the best start, but I did want to see more. Season two eased back on the humor and the show really started to find itself as a serious sci-fi offering. Current, contentious topics were addressed more seriously, but with the same healthy dose of McFarlane humor. But New Horizons - my goodness, I'll just say that I never in my life thought Seth McFarlane would make me cry. So far two episodes have done so. This show has now surpassed the look and feel of the one it's most often compared to. I love it, and can honestly say I think it's one of the best sci-fi series I've seen in my 50 years on this earth. There's still some humor here and there -- maybe a little less than I'd like -- but, the one humorous character I loved the most hasn't been present as more than a background face for this entire season. Where's Lieutenant Dann? I miss him! Now, how is greedy Hollywood going to screw this up for us? We'd better get ten more seasons!

Caillou (1997–2018)

Another way liberal hippies are ruining society

[1/10 · 5 May 2015]

This show seems deliberately designed to teach kids that they should be greedy, disrespectful, whiny, entitled little sh!ts and they will get whatever they want from gullible, drugged- out, uncaring hippie parents who won't ever discipline them.

I say this is deliberate because we all know that liberals hate discipline and order, and want to believe everyone is a special snowflake who is entitled to anything they want from life just because they graced the universe with their existence. Sorry, but this little girly- voiced puke needs a spanking.

I mean, the writers and producers must know that the target audience is going to imitate every cartoon character they see right? And what they see is this whining, screaming, disrespectful, privileged, mean little puke crying and demanding and throwing things and calling people names until his useless, apparently doped out parents give him what he wants.

My child was just born, but I'll be darned if she will ever watch this show. Oddly enough my wife, who often acts like a spoiled five year old and is liberal as the day is long, likes this show. Go figure.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984–1985)

Thank goodness for the internet!

[8/10 · 6 June 2013]

I seem to recall seeing at least one episode of this series back when I was a child- I've been a Sherlock Holmes fan since I learned to read, and have read all the books many times. I tried to watch every movie and TV series featuring this odd detective, but back when this series came out, if you didn't have cable and/or live in the right place, you were out of luck. So I was quite pleased to find this series on Netflix yesterday while searching for Holmes movies. I've watched the first four episodes so far, and agree with all the other reviews, in that Brett IS Sherlock Holmes. When I saw his picture I thought, "that is the Sherlock Holmes from A.C. Doyles books!" He is exactly as I always pictured Holmes when reading the stories, and he obviously was very familiar with the canon. From the way he sits in his chair with knees drawn up to his chin, to the somewhat smug glitter in his eyes when he knows something of which everyone around him is unaware, Brett is the best Holmes I've seen, and Burke as Watson seems most faithful to the books, too, not being the simpleton that others have portrayed him as.

The locations are great and really do a good job of taking the viewer to Victorian England, down to the horse manure on the streets. As a fan of men's fashion, I also think the costuming is superb. The cinematography and direction are very good. I especially enjoyed a scene of Holmes and Watson outside, which was shot entirely from inside, looking through a slightly dirty window. It gave a realism to the whole thing that really shows the talents of the film makers.

If you are a fan of Holmes and have access to this series either on the net or on DVD, definitely invest in watching it. This is the Holmes you grew up reading about!

Scrooged (1988)

Another old Christmas classic

[8/10 · 23 May 2013]

One of the movies in my Christmas Collection, and one of my favorites. An all star cast and a unique spin on a Dickens classic. Bill Murray is hilarious, as is Carol Kane- they are my favorites in this movie. Murray plays an absolute ass who loves nothing but money and success, until he gets his whole world turned upside down starting with a visit from his old boss. Nothing much else to say, it's "A Christmas Carol" with a great cast and nonstop laughs, plus some very dramatic moments that might make you jerk a tear. It's a funny film with a good moral message, and though it has it's adult moments it's fine for kids- I was twelve when it came out and loved it, and have seen it hundreds of times. I agree with a previous reviewer who said they should play this nonstop every Christmas!

Prince Charming (2001 TV Movie)

Cute movie with a great cast

[7/10 · 23 May 2013]

I just finished watching this on TNT. Never knew it existed before, but I was surfing and saw the lovely Christina Applegate and had to stop. Then I saw the Amazing Martin Short and was like whaaaat? Too bad I missed about half an hour. No matter, this is a cute, endearing take on the Prince Charming story, with the Prince and his servant finding themselves back in human form somehow (missed that part), and in modern America. Did I mention Bernadette Peters? My lord, she is still PERFECT. Christina has always been a good comedic actor, but did very well in her dramatic scenes- better than expected. Martin Short is still funny, and Bernadette Peters is, again, absolutely perfect. What a gorgeous woman and talented actress! Sean Maguire does a great Charming, his accent and mannerisms are spot on as a medieval prince out of his element. Billy Connolly and Andrea Martin pull it together with good performances of their own. A charming movie that's great for the whole family.

The Jerk (1979)

I'm picking out a Thermos for you

[9/10 · 21 May 2013]

One of Martins best and one of my favorites in the genre. Absolutely brilliant from beginning to end. Another reviewer called it the 'poor man's Forrest Gump,' and it really is. The story of a man who was "born a poor Black child" and wants to know what his "special purpose" is for. Everything about this movie is hilarious. Navin's discovery of lame white music leading to the realization that he is not a Black man after all, the stupid dog, the carnival and Pizza in a Cup, the faulty oil cans, the man with brass balls, the Thermos- the whole movie is a continuous laugh riot. If you are a fan of wacky comedy and have never seen this movie, you are missing out!

Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)

A fun, family-friendly movie that kids will love

[7/10 · 21 May 2013]

When I was a kid, this movie and Ernest Goes to Camp tied as my favorites. Jim Varney was an incredibly talented actor, and his Ernest character was his way of taking a break from more serious pursuits. It's rare today to find even a Christmas movie that's not filled with bad language, sexual innuendo, and other filth- but every Ernest movie is 100% clean, family-friendly fun. As an example I cite the character in this movie (forget his or the actor's name, it's been ages) who used to host a children's show, but got a part in a movie and couldn't bring himself to say a certain line with a bad word, because he couldn't stand to think of the children hearing him say it. That wasn't just that character's attitude, it was Jim Varney's as well. Varney was a chain smoker- however he would never light up if there was a child around. And he refused to use foul language. I think Varney also made a nod to the state of movies with his Mr. Apopka the snake handler character in this movie- "That's all these Hollywood folk want. Poison!" Speaking of characters, Jim's various personifications always had me rolling on the floor. In this movie the best was definitely the old lady. Anyway, I think any viewer with children who is looking for some clean, funny movies for the kids, would do well to rent this one or any of the Ernest movies.

Christmas Vacation (1989)

Add it to your Christmas collection!

[8/10 · 8 May 2013]

Every year around the end of November, I break out my Christmas Movie Collection; a very specific set of Christmas movies (mostly comedies) that includes National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (along with, to name a few, Ernest Saves Christmas, Trading Places, Gremlins, Elf, and Die Hard, hey it takes place during Christmas!, and of course all the animated ones). In fact, Vacation is the first movie out of the collection that I always watch, after cozying up with some hot cocoa and a warm blanket, with a blazing fire going. In my mind this has always been the best of the "Vacation" movies, and it is perfect for a Christmas movie night! Not only does Chevy Chase give his best performance as Clark W. Griswold in this movie, but the whole family is great. Beverly D'Angelo is sooooo hot in the lovely dress she wears toward the end, and her attempts to keep her sanity while dealing with Clark and all the visiting relatives are very funny, the kids are OK, but have some good moments, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (also very lovely)is great as the angry, uppity neighbor that hates Christmas. Randy Quaid gives a funny performance, too. But this movie is pure Chevy Chase, and his unrelenting determination to have the holliest, jolliest Christmas and the best and brightest decorated house on the block is what drives this movie. But when he doesn't get his expected Christmas bonus from his tight boss, he finally snaps! Plus, this movie features one of the best opening credits sequences ever!

If you are fan of the great Chevy Chase and his goofy style of comedy, and if you are one of the few people left who enjoy Christmas (not Holiday) movies, then you will definitely enjoy Christmas Vacation.

Seinfeld (1989–1998)

Hilarious despite Jerry Seinfeld

[7/10 · 8 May 2013]

Jerry Seinfeld is an unfunny comedian who somehow got popular enough to get offered a starring role (or maybe he came up with the idea, I never bothered to find out because I never cared) in this hilarious "show about nothing" featuring the daily grind of a small group of friends in New York City. Jerry Seinfeld is not an actor and it shows. Unfortunately, since he is the 'star' of the show (and the least funny cast member), all of the other very talented cast are forced to act down to his level. But they manage to pull it off and still make the show funny, such is the talent of the lovely Julia Louis- Dreyfus as Elaine, Jason Alexander as George, and Michael Richards as the slapstick Kramer. They are assisted in their saving of this show from Seinfeld's lack of talent by characters such as George's parents (Jerry Stiller and Estelle Harris) and Elaine's boss Mr. (J.) Peterman (John O'Hurley). Newman is as unfunny as Jerry. There are a plethora (yes I just went all El Guapo on y'all) of minor characters that round out the show and make it amusing and interesting. You grow to love these guys and root for them to overcome life's silly problems. Except Jerry. I cannot state often enough how pathetically unfunny and untalented Jerry Seinfeld is, and I am quite certain that if he were not in the show, it would be one of the funniest shows ever. Seven out of ten, would be 9/10 if Jerry was never involved.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

When you just want some action

[7/10 · 8 May 2013]

I originally gave this a 6/10, but I'm watching it right now on HBO, and I had to bump it up one, because the second time around it's late and I'm in a different frame of mind, so I am really enjoying just kicking back and getting lost in a good action flick.

Sometimes you just don't care about a rushed plot, sketchy physics, or sometimes wooden, sometimes overacted acting, you just want to see ABRAHAM F#@!*$ LINCOLN KILL THE $#!* OUT OF SOME $#&%^$@ VAMPIRES! Conan the Destroyer, any L. Ron Hubbard story, Robocop, whatever; these all severely lack in logic and brilliant story writing, but we like them because they are fun and full of dudes fighting on the back of a stampede of horses, on top of a train that's falling off a bridge that's on $%#$^% fire, and seeing sunlight through the hole in their chests where a $%^&*%^ Confederate soldier vampire shoots right through them in mist form.

Honestly, if you go to a movie with a title like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and expect anything else, you really don't have much right to complain.

Married... with Children: Lez Be Friends (1997) Season 11, Episode 20

Basically Bearse's coming out

[7/10 · 5 May 2013]

A lot of younger fans might not realize it, but this episode was very controversial when it aired, as were many MWC episodes. At a time when it was taboo to talk about sex, especially homosexuality, on television. And though she had already come out, remember that for many fans, at a time when the internet barely existed and 90% of Americans couldn't afford a PC anyway, this was the first confirmation of Bearse's sexuality, as she basically played a stereotyped version of herself as the gay "cousin." It was a very brave thing for her to do, and helped people realize that it is OK and normal to be gay. Just my two cents!

Nesuim Plus (2012– )

Never heard of it

[8/10 · 5 May 2013]

Never heard of it, so I can't rate it. But I would love to watch it if I can find an English version, because I see that it is created by Ron Leavitt and Michael G. Moye, who also created Married With Children, the Greatest Sitcom of All Time! Dudes! Give America something new! These two guys are two of the best comedy writers ever, and have made an indelible mark on television history with their contributions to some of our most endearing shows and characters.

Here's the deal, my friends. If Ron Leavitt and Michael G. Moye appear in the credits, it's worth watching! BTW, do they run Married With Children in syndication in Israel? If not, you guys are really missing out.

The Big Bang Theory (2007–2019)

My second favorite sitcom of all time...

[5/10 · 4 May 2013]

As a person who grew up playing D&D, excelling in science at school, and being picked on unmercifully just for being intelligent enough to stand out from the herd, I fell in love with the Big Bang Theory the first time I saw it. It was already in the second season, so I immediately went to the store and bought the first season DVD to get caught up.

This show, at least the first three seasons, is one of the few on television that I can truly call "intelligent," so much so that, if I were not as well-read in the sciences, especially physics, I would not get half of the jokes. Perhaps that's why, as I feared, it was soon "dumbed down" for the masses, becoming a "who's doing who?" sex- and stupidity-driven shell of what was once the perfect sitcom for people who are proud to be called "nerds." I cannot help but notice that the show began to become disappointing at about the same time as Mayim Bialik's character, Amy Farrah Fowler, was introduced, although it is certainly not Bialik's fault- her acting is great and she has turned Amy Farrah Fowler into one of the best characters on the show, now that she has lost the creepiness and gained more nerdiness. Simon Helberg's Howard Wolowitz was already the creepy, sex-obsessed, nerdy Jew- we didn't need another one. Fortunately, Wolowitz has grown and matured over the course of the series; a very good thing, as I was growing tired of his stereotypical character. I have honestly never liked Leonard Hofstader, who is played very well by Johnny Galecki. Leonard is and has been from the pilot, a whiny, selfish little man-child who will immediately stab his friends in the back on the odd chance that he might get to "hook up" with a pretty girl.

Rajesh Koothrappali, played by Kunal Nayyar, was great as a guy so afraid of women that he couldn't speak around them, and worked well when he discovered that alcohol solved the problem, but that little plot device has turned around and become an inconvenience, as now Raj is forced to be constantly drinking in order to have any dialog around female characters. His somewhat effeminate ways were cute at first, but have grown to ridiculous proportions, the only reason that I can see being that modern Hollywood feels the need to have a "gay", or very metro at least, character in every stinking show. They should have kept Raj and Wolowitz as an "odd couple" kind of duo and explored their friendship more, and cut Bernadette altogether, or at least drastically.

Speaking of Bernadette Rostenkowski, played by the lovely Melissa Rauch. She should have remained a minor character. Her character does not fit with the show at all, and has become nothing more than an on-screen Mrs. Wolowitz, as in the personification of Howard's mother. This is probably deliberate and might have worked somehow, but it's just not working. As a nerdy friend of Penny's who helps Penny understand the differences between "the guys" and "normal people," she works great, though. Let's focus more on that and have a genuine friendship develop between her and Penny.

And Penny, the last-nameless pretty blonde across the hall. Now I could be biased, because though I am older, I'm still a man, and let's face it, Kaley Cuoco is absolutely stunning. But I have always liked her character. Typical Midwest farmer's daughter who goes to California to become a star. OK, seen that before, but she plays the part very well. And I am so glad to see that she has gone from being just the "dumb blonde" to a more refined character with some depth and a very down-to-earth wisdom that often shows her ability to grasp difficult concepts much more readily than the super-genius Leonard and Sheldon. And her scenes with Sheldon are some of the most brilliant of the series.

Finally, my favorite character (many people's fave), Dr. Sheldon Cooper, played to perfection by Jim Parsons. I am most disappointed with Sheldon Cooper. Whereas the point was originally that Sheldon is so smart and so socially inept that he honestly does not realize the consequences of his actions, making him an insufferable little douche, but in a funny, cute way, the show has decided to completely change him into an "evil genius" stereotype, who actually enjoys causing pain or insult. That IS NOT SHELDON COOPER, and I do hope the show's creators stop this nonsense in its tracks, or it will DESTROY THE SHOW. I give as an example a recent episode where Sheldon deliberately and gleefully spoils the ending of a Harry Potter book for Leonard, not once, but twice, out of what seems to be pure malevolence. Sorry, but you have betrayed the audience in choosing to go that route, guys. Sheldon was funny because he was unintentionally disruptive, but now he has started to become intentionally "bad", and it's ruining the show. Maybe it was the whole "Shamy" thing that started the descent, who knows. And I swear, if Sheldon EVER has sex, even with Amy, I will stop watching the show. Period.

But despite all that, still far and away the best sitcom on TV lately, and the only one I have obsessed over watching every single episode of, since Star Trek: The Next Generation and Married... With Children before it. As such it gets an 8/10, with hopes that the producers will stop listening too much to fans on the internet (never a great idea and always best taken with a huge grain of salt), bring back the "smart" jokes, whether anyone gets them or not, and this show will keep going strong for some time, rather than struggling to limp through another season, as I am seeing now.

Star Trek (2009)

Not faithful, but still a good movie

[7/10 · 14 April 2013]

Full of plot holes, bad science, and inconsistencies... just like the originals! NOT faithful to the original, but they already said it was going to be a reboot, so that was expected. There were some incredibly stupid characterization choices, convenient plot devices ==SPOILER== like when Kirk's pod lands on an entire planet but fortunately just a few hundred yards from Spock Prime's cave ==/SPOILER==, and yes, as an older fan of the originals, I was kind of disappointed that it wasn't the movie I would have made if given the chance, but hey man, it's Star Trek, lighten up and enjoy it! Even the originals were full of the same things, but the difference was that they were the originals. And no, this is not the same genre as original Star Trek (Space Opera/Sci-Fi Drama), it is indeed an Sci-Fi/Action film, and I for one am glad. As much as I loved Star Trek throughout my life, I always wished there was more action! Watch it and enjoy the ride, it's a good movie despite the impossible science and "time travel means we can do any-darned-thing" attitude.

Back to the Future (1985)

All time favorite fun movie

[10/10 · 14 April 2013]

This is one of the few movies my nerdy sci-fi self never cared about if the science was right or wrong, or about any plot inconsistencies or whatever, because it is just an incredibly fun movie from 00:01 to credits. I have seen this movie literally hundreds of times since I was a kid. I can tell you which clock in the opening sequence had the wrong time on it. I can tell you Doc Brown's address both in the past and the present. I know what kind of dog food Einstein eats. I know this movie better than "Holy Grail", and that's saying something. This one, part 3, and to a lesser extent part 2 are three of the best comedy/adventure/sci-fi/feelgood movies of all time, in my opinion. One simply cannot watch this movie and be disappointed. Whether you are ten or sixty, you will enjoy this movie, and continue to enjoy it every time you see it. Another Z-man classic. Go '80's!

The Blue Lagoon (1980)

Moviegoers sure have changed

[8/10 · 14 April 2013]

I was born in '76, and by the time I was ten this movie was already considered a classic. One of the best 'coming of age' stories, not to mention survival stories, ever put to screen. I knew it was a great movie at ten years of age, even though I did find it somewhat boring (most kids aren't into dramas like this). And it gets a lowly five stars on IMDb?? While Prometheus and the Star Trek reboot, etc. have like eight stars???? Maybe modern Hollywood is right to sacrifice good writing and storytelling for pretty pictures- today's audience doesn't seem to be able to appreciate anything but explosions and CGI and 3D and cursing. Eh, but my granddad probably said the same things about my generation, too. But still, five stars??? My lord...

If you are considering watching this movie, please ignore the IMDb rating and just see it. If you have the IQ of anyone over twenty, you will most likely enjoy this movie immensely. It IS a classic, plain and simple, so if anything, watch it for that reason, then make up your own mind.

Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

Like much of anything from Hollywood- just OK.

[5/10 · 14 April 2013]

As a huge fan of high fantasy, I was looking forward to this movie. I just saw it on TV and now here I am with a review.

Much like the best of anything from Hollywood in the last, oh, decade or so, this movie is good but could be much better. Like everything else from an industry with a hard on for CGI, it is assumed that pretty pictures will make up for sketchy plots, shallow characterizations, and lackluster acting. I must reiterate I am a huge fan of high fantasy and will watch a fantasy film even if it totally sucks, as long as there is plenty of swordplay and sorcery.

Snow White and the Huntsman is the classic children's tale, but a bit darker. Actually, thinking about it, all the children's tales I grew up on were pretty darned dark and twisted to begin with- small wonder we grow up to be what we are. Anyway, simple plot. The movie is interesting but never really grabs my attention, never really offers anything other than some good CGI. And there are some great battles with amazing CGI monsters. But I don't care about the heroine. She is like so many other characters in films these days- shallow, one-dimensional, not enough time spent on the character's development, which in modern Hollywood always seems to take a back seat to special effects. One may take a very technically perfect, high-res photo of a dead dog on the side of the road, but it's still just a pretty picture of a dead dog on the side of the road. Long story short, I got distracted by something else for a good twenty minutes and when I came back to the movie I didn't care that I had missed twenty minutes of it.

Five stars because it's really hard to screw up a children's fairytale.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

One facepalm after another...

[3/10 · 13 April 2013]

== Spoilers throughout == Like many others, I registered for an IMDb account for the sole purpose of reviewing this travesty. As the film is obviously tied to the Alien universe, it is difficult to watch the movie without comparing it to the classics that are Alien(1979) and Aliens(1986), but I did honestly try to watch it without comparing it to anything, and review it on its own merits. With that in mind, what can be said that hasn't already been said, often quite hilariously? This movie is an insult to the intelligence of every sci-fi fan that has ever lived. A visually stunning insult, to be sure, but an insult nonetheless. The gaping plot holes, unanswered questions that seem to be asked just to be asked, the absolute moronic idiocy of the "best scientists in the world" who are on the "most important mission in the history of mankind," the seeming lack of the writer's understanding of high school biology and physics, the pointlessness of just about everything that is said or done in this steaming pile of film. I will begin with one of the most important things in any movie- the characters.

Did you know there were seventeen, SEVENTEEN crew members aboard the Prometheus? Neither did I. Seriously, I honestly thought there were around six characters in this film, because that's all I remember. And the only reason I remember them is because of all the absolutely STUPID things they did. The only thing that I can think that makes any sense as to why the characters would speak and act the way they did, is that they were in reality all suicidal/homicidal sociopaths who were sent on the mission for the sole purpose of making it fail and killing themselves and everyone else in the process. Seriously, the attitudes and actions of almost every single character just seem sinister and evil.

Why is David (the most 'human' character in the movie, it seems) evil? Why is he programmed to sabotage the crew, a la Ash in Alien? Or is he? Is he self-aware and just nobody realizes it? Who knows, the movie never attempts to answer this question.

Why does Janek, when he sees that there are signs of life in the structure that two of his crew are trapped in, seem not only like he could care less about the safety of the crewmen, but act as though he actually wants them to die? Because his entire demeanor and attitude when informing them that he has just seen movement in the structure is such that I can only think that is the case. "Oh well, it stopped moving, must be a glitch, you guys get some sleep, see ya tomorrow!" before turning of the feed from the trapped crew. Excuse me? Why? Don't know, the movie never answers this question.

Why is Theron in this movie other than as eye candy? I guess according to her character it's because she didn't want to "sit in a board room arguing over who is in charge" while Weyland was off having fun in space. I think it was for the sole purpose of the writer having her crushed by a giant rolling doughnut. Speaking of rolling doughnuts, Lindelhof can take a flying f**k at one if he thinks I will ever pay to see a movie with his name in the credits again. Seriously, I wanted to burn my own eyes out so I would never again have to witness something that moronic in a film.

Why would any scientist in the world not be like, "Hey doc, there's this weird worm crawling on my eyeball, could you take a look at that, please?" Who knows.

Why does a super advanced, space-faring, genetic engineering race of beings start their ships with a flute solo? Why would "the best scientists in the world" completely ignore every single rule of the scientific method? Why.....

You get the point by now.

Two stars for great FX and a third for being set in the Alien universe. That is all. Instead of Prometheus, the title of this plopper should have been WTF?

BONUS DIALOGUE COMPARISON!

ALIEN(1979)

PARKER: Hey Ripley, I got a question.

RIPLEY: Yeah?

PARKER: Do we get to go out on the expedition or are we stuck here til everything's fixed?

RIPLEY: You know the answer to that.

BRETT: What about the shares in case they find anything?

RIPLEY: Don't worry, you'll both get what's coming to you.

(And boy, do they!)

Compared to

PROMETHEUS(2012)

JANEK: Hey Vickers, I was wondering....

VICKERS: Yeah?

JANEK: Are you a robot?

VICKERS: (looking him up and down) My room. Ten minutes.

JANEK: (singing) Well if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with.

(Facepalm)