Assault on Precint 13...in spaaace!
Ghosts of Mars is a film that loves flashbacks. Not content with telling the entire story in a flashback (intercut with pointless "and what happened next?" bits) there are flashbacks within the flashbacks. Sometimes the flashbacks are to things that happened mere moments before and even more annoyingly they aren't even very relevant aspects. Cue a man cutting his own throat in a transport, mere seconds later we are treated to this again as one character tells another what just happened. It defies explanation unless it was aimed at the people who were dipping into their popcorn at the time. This story borrows heavily (read steals) the plot of Assault on Precinct 13. Cops must ally with a criminal (and later his gang) to get out alive. Now lets be honest, the nickname Desolation sounds like a bad hombre to me. Imagine my amusement when Desolation turns out to be an amiable slightly chubby black guy who is indeed a criminal but it's hard to imagine how he got his nickname. It's just the start of the nonsense though. Whilst Precinct 13 had homicidal gang members the bad guys in this film are all martians. Oh no, not costly special effects requiring martians, just people possessed by the desiccated ghosts of mars. When we first see some of the victims of martian control they are indeed freaky. Give it 10 minutes though and they seem to have abandoned the convincing makeup and given them a Kiss (the band) style makeover. This is just rubbish but fair enough, money is tight. What isn't so good though is that the film degenerates into endless fight scenes with totally over the top "rawk" music over the top. This kills any kind of credibility that the film might have had in my eyes. Also rather noticeable is the way that everyone in the film fights in chop-suey kong fu moves. OK I can buy that a futuristic police force might be skilled in martial arts but miners taken over by dead aliens? It all seems rather thin at this point but it gets even sillier. Having escaped the homicidal maniacs the plot has assuredly run dry so they decide to go back to nuke them all by blowing up what must the most poorly secured power station ever. Jimmy that lock off, ah there we go - now where's that huge red flashing button..It's such a shame because the start of the film looks promising. Mars is brought to life (no pun intended) very well and looks excellent. The structures and the train that's a key part to the film look very convincing too for the most part and the acting is passable. What really irritated me was the ending. It seemed to come at the point where the budget ran out and has all the 'what happens next?' awfulness of a 70's movie. I personally hated this film after about the first half but as ever I struggled on. If you're going to steal a plot from another movie you could at least provide an ending! Precinct 13 did and it was far better for it. I give this movie two dried up maritan aliens out of five.
Ghosts of Mars is a film that loves flashbacks. Not content with telling the entire story in a flashback (intercut with pointless "and what happened next?" bits) there are flashbacks within the flashbacks. Sometimes the flashbacks are to things that happened mere moments before and even more annoyingly they aren't even very relevant aspects. Cue a man cutting his own throat in a transport, mere seconds later we are treated to this again as one character tells another what just happened. It defies explanation unless it was aimed at the people who were dipping into their popcorn at the time. This story borrows heavily (read steals) the plot of Assault on Precinct 13. Cops must ally with a criminal (and later his gang) to get out alive. Now lets be honest, the nickname Desolation sounds like a bad hombre to me. Imagine my amusement when Desolation turns out to be an amiable slightly chubby black guy who is indeed a criminal but it's hard to imagine how he got his nickname. It's just the start of the nonsense though. Whilst Precinct 13 had homicidal gang members the bad guys in this film are all martians. Oh no, not costly special effects requiring martians, just people possessed by the desiccated ghosts of mars. When we first see some of the victims of martian control they are indeed freaky. Give it 10 minutes though and they seem to have abandoned the convincing makeup and given them a Kiss (the band) style makeover. This is just rubbish but fair enough, money is tight. What isn't so good though is that the film degenerates into endless fight scenes with totally over the top "rawk" music over the top. This kills any kind of credibility that the film might have had in my eyes. Also rather noticeable is the way that everyone in the film fights in chop-suey kong fu moves. OK I can buy that a futuristic police force might be skilled in martial arts but miners taken over by dead aliens? It all seems rather thin at this point but it gets even sillier. Having escaped the homicidal maniacs the plot has assuredly run dry so they decide to go back to nuke them all by blowing up what must the most poorly secured power station ever. Jimmy that lock off, ah there we go - now where's that huge red flashing button..It's such a shame because the start of the film looks promising. Mars is brought to life (no pun intended) very well and looks excellent. The structures and the train that's a key part to the film look very convincing too for the most part and the acting is passable. What really irritated me was the ending. It seemed to come at the point where the budget ran out and has all the 'what happens next?' awfulness of a 70's movie. I personally hated this film after about the first half but as ever I struggled on. If you're going to steal a plot from another movie you could at least provide an ending! Precinct 13 did and it was far better for it. I give this movie two dried up maritan aliens out of five.
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