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Reviews
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
thrills a minute
i didn't expect this movie to be an exact remake of the original. then again, i didn't expect it to be a straight up action flick. tell you the truth, i didn't know what to expect.
it really is just another zombie movie that happens to have the title 'dawn of the dead' to back it up. as i've read before, the only thing this movie has similar to the original is a shopping mall.
it's did like it, though. throughout the movie i wasn't sure if i should be
entertained or disappointed, but in the end the former got me. i mean, hey, at least we have another zombie movie.
the movie starts quite solidly. unfortunately, it's the shining moment for sarah polley, because as the movie progresses an unnecessary amount of characters
are introduced. the director spent too much time giving basic personalities to these people, thus it took away from the characters we're actually supposed to feel for (i.e. sarah polley and ving rhames).
but, like i said, its a zombie movie. good times are to be had for all. i think its lucky we got to see it in wide release at all. i don't see how some people can see this movie in a packed theatre and brood over the fact that it doesn't stay true to the original. there're people screaming left and right, the movie does what it's supposed to do, so appreciate it. i mean, would you rather have this as opposed to nothing at all? it's a zombie movie! hell yeah!
Terror Toons (2002)
kind of uncomfortable.
i can't believe this movie. i can't believe i watched the whole thing. i can't believe i made my friends watch it. i can't believe i'm commenting about it.
ultimately, it's blockbuster video's fault. i'm all game for watching bad movies (troll 2 is like a bright ray from heaven basking the earth in it's warm, beautiful glow) and i saw this movie on the shelf. now, blockbuster is a sort of uptight establishment, so i never expect to find anything too graphic among their
catalogue. they usually have 'r' versions of nc-17 movies, no adult section, etc.
but they had terror toons.
this movie profoundly disturbed me. i don't know if i was more uncomfortable thinking about what insane man would direct this, or who the hell these people are who're so willing to star in this...thing.
some weird fat guy gets cow-guts pulled out of his stomach in the first minute. then cut to some weird drugged-out looking girl with huge breast implants
playing the role of, i think, a 5 year old. cross-dressing parents and i don't know what else. this is like the first 5 minutes of the movie, before the terror even begins.
it's almost worth a watch, just to see what some people do in the name of
entertainment. but it's not really entertaining. and it's not very good, even in the 'bad-good' sort of way. it's just gross and excessive and seems like its about 5 hours longer than it really is.
oh, and there's apparently a sequel on the way.
28 Days Later... (2002)
bullocks
i saw this movie in the theatre a few times because i thought it was fantastic. definitely a breath of fresh air when you look back on the summer of 2003 and all the other shlock that was in theatres at the time. every time it ended and i walked out, most people were muttering about how much they hated it. thought it was pointless. how they 'didn't get it'.
well, that's an american audience for you., and this is a british film, so in a way it makes sense. if anyone wants to just watch a GOOD movie for a change, instead of analyzing over and over and comparing it to other movies in the genre (zombie movies, fyi!) i recommend this.
unless you're one of those insecure people who can't look at a penis for 2 seconds. be warned, damn you!!!!! be warrrrrrrrned!! (there's a penis!)
Braindead (1992)
parallel worlds
never in a sane world would the director of this movie be given hundreds of millions of dollars to shoot what would end up being some of the best movies of our time.
in all honesty though, this movie is HIGHLY, HIGHLY entertaining. i only saw the japanese-import-laserdisc-whatnot version of it. i don't know how less gory the us release is, but i wouldn't be surprised if there was a significant amount of blood and guts cut out. it's still worth a view.
hopefully peter jackson will go back and make just one more of these beauties, much in the same way i hope sam raimi does another 'evil dead' after he knocks off a few spidermen. most likely he will, because i've heard excessive gore is his livelihood.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
this movie was amazing.
This movie made me want to kill myself. Never have I seen something go so
wrong so fast. Well, maybe not. The relative pointlessness of 'reloaded'
foreshadowed the coming of this monster, but everyone believed that a big
payoff was coming.
The original Matrix was flawlessly constructed; it wasn't hard to follow and it was INTERESTING. nothing like that here. morpheus has become moody and
doesn't do anything but sit in the passenger seat and watch some character
from the second film drive around in the sewers. trinity's death scene is like 10 minutes long just to remind us that she and neo actually liked eachother in any way.
and zion? everyone defending zion was an uninteresting and unimportant
character. ultimately, who cares? i hate this movie and gave it a big, beautiful 1 for it's efforts, because none were apparently made. and i was forced to see it 3 times. help.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
this was a swell film
This movie, as with the previous two, just blew my mind. It was the most Peter Jackson-esque of the 3, which was why I was surprised that it won the Oscar for Best Picture. But it deserved it, despite it's flaws, which all movies have.
This was the antithesis to 'the Matrix' trilogy. Instead of starting strong and growing weaker, it truly did gain momentum with each movie. Hell, with each
scene. And there was an actual payoff!
This is a movie you should just see to believe. Fantastic.