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Ghost Ship (2002)
a classic of the direcTV age
God i love this terrible movie. It is unhinged, has some dope visuals, makes little-to-no sense, and features one of the most bizarre ensembles in casting history. Also, Gabriel Byrne accent completely changes on a line-by-line basis for the entire movie. Incredible. On my favorite bad movies of all time.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
terrible and deeply fun
There is ONE (1) thing about this movie that is actually good, and it's Hristo Shopov, who popped off as Ms Pilate. But i do feel the need to give it at least three stars because it is a very fun experience if you're capable of enjoying unintentional camp as it relates to the passions.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Bad.
One star for Jonah Hill (the only person who knew what kind of movie this should be). One star for Leo (and actual climate activist, someone I'm willing to let preach to me in a parable). One star for Mark Rylance (love means never having to explain Mark Rylance).
Alien³ (1992)
The Assembly Cut
The 2:25:00 cut (while way longer than it needs to be) is pretty good - well acted, really really bleak in a way that fits well for the franchise, and a great turn by Sigourney Weaver obvs. Kind of like if David Lynch made an Alien movie. Kind of.
The Queen's Gambit: Openings (2020)
Wooooah, what a pilot!!
Was so shocked by this episode. I'm a big Anya Taylor-Joy fan, and had mostly tuned in to see her work, so I was (pleasantly) taken aback by this episode's focus on the younger version of the character, who's played by a different young actress. She was great! And what a great way to get everyone to focus on the character rather than the production value (which is also excellent). Also, the quietly radical diversity of the cast in this episode is a breath of fresh air for anyone who loves period pieces as much as I do. And the drugged-out ceiling chess!! Yaassss!
Star Trek: Voyager: Bliss (1999)
I just think it's neat.
I know Naomi's a polarizing figure (not sure why other than like a knee-jerk "Kids Bad! Shut Up Wesley! Grown Ups Only On My TV!" kind of reaction), but I really like the way they use her character to show all the ways that life on Voyager is, by necessity, different than life on other Federation Starships. She's as much a member of the Voyager Crew as anyone else, Starfleet rank or no, just by virtue of being along for the ride. Also Scarlett Pomers is great at making her seem like a full character rather than just a stock Kid to be used when the plot demands. Good for you, girl from "Reba"! She's got good chemistry with Jeri Ryan, too. Also, fun fact, the guy who plays Qatai in this episode is the father of the actor who played Icheb's dad in "Child's Play" from season 6. They were both also in "The Impossible Astronaut" from series 5 of Doctor Who like 15 years later.
Star Trek: Voyager: Gravity (1999)
Let Tim Russ Act!
I don't love that there's a big, emotional Tuvok episode where Tuvok is played by someone else. Like, I get it, it's flashback, but we've done that with Tuvok before (in the episode called... uh... "Flashback"). And Tim Russ is a great actor! Give him something meaty to do! Anyways, aside from that it's not the worst of Voyager, but it's far from the best. The plot is interesting on paper, but boring in execution. Also it's a waste of the fabulous Lori Petty.
Star Trek: Voyager: The Raven (1997)
Yas, Bryan Fuller!
I love this episode. Well-balanced comedy/tragedy ratio, great performances from Jeri Ryan and Tim Russ as usual (Tuvok/Seven scenes have a really interesting rhythm imo, and the actors have such good chemistry), and a quick intro to the REAL villains of Voyager: The Hansens.
Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Origin (1997)
What a bizarro plot
You would think "Voyager finds a race of super-smart dinosaurs who left Earth millions of years ago" would end up being dumb or corny like so many of the other more out-there episodes of the show, but everyone involved really went off. The writing is relatively grounded, there's a clear ethical message (trust science!!), and the acting and prosthetics are both killer. Also, is this the best Chakotay episode? The only other one that comes to mind is "Shattered", from season 7, which I also love. And "The Fight", of course (jk kimora).
Star Trek: Voyager: Real Life (1997)
Good, but a bit of a let down.
There's so much to be done with this idea, that The Doctor wants to experience normal human life, and also I love the chemistry between Picardo and Roxann Dawson (B'elanna), but I do feel like as soon as the episode started, I knew exactly what was gonna happen for the rest of it. Just very predictable, and kind of a waste of a good opportunity to add some depth to a popular character. But still, it's entertaining and the woman who plays the holo-wife is great.
Star Trek: Voyager: Before and After (1997)
Fun! Good Kes ep! Also, Rachael Harris!
Nothing groundbreaking, but a fun and heady plot that gives Jennifer Lien an opportunity to stretch her acting muscles instead of just standing serenely near The Doctor or bickering with Neelix. She's a good actor! They just don't want us to know it, for some reason. Also, Rachael Harris (Dr. Linda from "Lucifer", among many other things) is in this episode, as Kes's daughter! We love a pre-fame Star Trek cameo.
Legends of Tomorrow: The One Where We're Trapped on TV (2020)
This show gets it, man.
Ya know, some shows are stupid. And that's okay. They're low-stakes, funny, not something to be taken too seriously. On paper, "Legends" is one of those shows, but around the end of Season 3, it's like the writers saw that paper, and were like "Oh, it's a stupid show? Well we should lean into that then!", and the show's been all the better since. No more vapid, self-serious plotlines about race (S2E3 "Abominations") or forced love affairs (all of season 1), or characters learning the same lessons over and over and over again (We get it, Mick Rory likes crime, just pick a lane, kid!!). This episode showcases all the best parts of Legends. Great use of it's supporting cast, a triumphant return for Zari 1.0, utilization of a really funny main ensemble, loving pop culture parodies, and even a musical number about emotional repression! I could go on and on. Also, I'm not ashamed to admit that the short montage of the Legends remembering their former selves got me a little choked up. And another thing! I love the way this show utilizes John Constantine. No, it's nothing like Hellblazer but A) Duh, and B) Absurdism has always been a part of Constantine's mythos. This show just leans into that part a little more than most. The only negative I have for this episode really is that I wish Brandon Routh was still around for it. We miss you Brandon.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: We'll Always Have Paris (1988)
Deeply stupid.
What am I even watching here? Picard has a boring ex-girlfriend with a sleepy new husband? It has something to do with time loops, but not really, they never really get into it? Beverly is bummed out, for some reason? Also, at one point Jean Luc says to Data, "Well, Data, I'm gonna ask you to put a stitch in time - and save much more than nine", so that's not great. The set for Dr. Manheim's lab is cool tho.