I think I should make a clear statement before I leave my peace with this movie. I am a HUGE fan of the original AOP13 and have been an avid fan since I was 8 years old and saw it on Cinemax back in 1980. Now, with that out of the way, my opinion of the remake. I felt the dialog was awful, the editing was horrendous and the characters I just could care less if they lived or died. I didn't give two s***s about them. I sat there wondering what in the world they were thinking while this movie was made! That a studio actually said "oh yeah, that's a great idea, let green light this" and that a director at some point said "great acting, that's a wrap". UGHHHH. I rarely give movies 1 star out of 10. This one deserves a zero rating. Absolute crap. Can anyone please explain to me how in the movie it's snowing on one side of the building and not on the other?? Helloooooo!!! Editing!!! Where are you?? And what in the hell was the last 20 minutes doing in a forest????? WHA?? Long live the original.
Reviews
15 Reviews
Fahrenheit 9/11
(2004)
The HEIGHT of Liberalism
25 June 2004
Wow. The greatest piece of Left Wing liberalism dogma I have ever seen. Mr. Moore uses every ounce of creative force he has to prove that what he said at his Oscar acceptance speech was true...in his opinion. This is way too one sided for me, and obviously Moore has an ax to grind with President Bush, as well as an ego the size of the Grand Canyon to prove he was right. You will love it if you are a bleeding heart liberal, despise it if you are a hate-mongering right winger and think what I think if you are somewhere in the middle which is that it is too one-sided. No wonder why leftist Hollywood loves this film. And Moore should have gotten Mr. Bradbury's approval before he ripped off the name of his genius book. No class at all.
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
(2002)
Jeezum crow...this was bad.
3 May 2003
Now, I'm not doubting the masculinity of Banderas and the "drop to you knees and thank God your a man" beauty of Liu. But this movie was bad in soooo many ways. I think it was Shakespeare who once said "How crappy is a movie? Let me count the ways." Or maybe it was "Is a bad movie called another name, still just as bad?" Err...whatever. Avoid this movie like the plague and spend your time watching something a bit more entertaining...like Spongebob Squarepants!
xXx
(2002)
Movie for the ADD kiddies
19 April 2003
While I nearly turned off this mediocre action movie in the first 15 mintues, I stayed the course since I did rent this movie and the longer it went, it did get a bit better. Since it is obviously marketed and aimed for the hyperactive, sugar-fueled, extreme in-your-face, A.D.D. kids of todays youth who really couldn't care if the story had substance, what they got was some "dude, really cool stuff" in the movie. And Vin Diesel couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. The only redeeming qualities of this movie are the locations, and choice of female actresses. 5 out of 10 rated.
Don't Look Now
(1973)
To the Point...
6 October 2002
After having this movie recommended to me from a highly recognized horror movie web site, I ordered the DVD to see this movie for myself. What a waste. This movie was so unbelieveably boring and plodding that I almost shut the damn thing off. D. Sutherland and J. Christie are great actors and they are great in this movie. But the pace and the plot of this movie is just stupid, unscary and time consuming. I gave this movie 3 stars for the great acting and nice film location but everything else was awful. I do NOT need a "high-brow" horror movie, thank you.
Evil Dead II
(1987)
To the point...
29 September 2002
Never having seen Evil Dead 2 (but viewed Evil Dead plenty of times) I was expecting something different. But this was absolute crap. I'm sorry. I know the movie was done "tongue-in-cheek", at least I hope it was. If it wasn't, then this was even worse than I thought. I really have no other opinion of this movie, other than ...well...it was crap to the highest degree.
Black Christmas
(1974)
To the point..
28 September 2002
This is where it all starts folks. The original slasher, which all other slasher movies have taken bits and pieces and passed it off (which is fine..lol) but this it. I won't ruin a thing for those who have not viewed this movie, but a bit of advice. Turn off all the lights, get your signifigant other, a bowl of buttered-up popcorn and enjoy the fact you are watching the origin of the modern day slasher movie.
To the point..
25 September 2002
I'm afraid that I do not have the time nor the reference to go on about my opinion of this film, nor do I think you want to read another lengthy opinion about this film so I just simply sum it up in one word. Perfection.
Demons
(1985)
For a straight-up gore fest, this is one of the greatest!
24 September 2002
While this movie suffers from obvious plot holes, you overlook them just because of the nature of this movie. A "dreamteam" of creators and a top notch F/X crew, make Demons one of the greatest movies of its kind. It borrows many elements from past horror movies and action movies and has an excellent soundtrack to boot! This movie is NOT for the squeamish or the faint-of-heart. I gave this movie a rating of 8.
PS - Just one question I would like answered by someone. Where in Zeus's butthole did that helicopter come from (other than crashing thru the roof) and why was it there?
PS - Just one question I would like answered by someone. Where in Zeus's butthole did that helicopter come from (other than crashing thru the roof) and why was it there?
Resident Evil
(2002)
Not bad..
16 March 2002
After having just seen RE, and being a HUGE fan of the video games since their inception, I will say that this movie wasn't bad. It wasn't great like the video games though. Everything in the movie was very professionally done and the F/X looked great! However, the movie lacked what the video game provided, and that is a sense of horror...of genuine fright. I am a 30 year old male, and when I first started playing RE I would avoid playing the games at night...cause...well...I'm sure you get the picture. The movie had nearly none of that terror or suspense. Sure, there was some parts but on the whole it was a little dissappointing. I would have preferred that the movie stay in either the urban areas of Racoon City (ie., RE2, RE3), instead of the movie created "Hive". It was an interesting idea thought and might have been better had it been fleshed out a little bit more. Anyways, this is a entertaining movie and most fans of RE should enjoy. Oh, and Milla is superfreakin hot in this. WOW!!
Thir13en Ghosts
(2001)
High Intensity Scares!
26 October 2001
13 Ghosts is an extremely well made, VERY scary movie that will be enjoyed by all fans of the horror genre. Mixing a great amount of scares with a dash of well timed humor makes this a very unique horror film. Top notch special effects with an intriguing story line definitely separates this one from the pack. Lillard is very funny as a medium, and Shaloub and Elizabeth are very good as well. Please, feel confident that the 90 minutes you spend watching this movie, is time well spent. ENJOY!
Halloween
(1978)
Perfect!
21 October 2001
Not being old enough to watch the movie when it was originally released in 1978, I did catch it on TV a few years later and have become enamored with this movie ever since. Spawning multiple sequels has not diluted this movie one bit. John Carpenter created (literally) an entire new genre of horror movies with Halloween, from the soundtrack that will haunt you everytime you hear it, to the steadicam scenes of Michael Myers perspective. Since there is virtually no blood visuals, everything is left for the mind to "fill in the blanks", which can be the most scariest thrills you can have. Halloween is now a staple of staple of this time of year, like turkey is to Thanksgiving or a tree is to Christmas. Truly a magnificent film that will be enjoyed by people for years and years to come. The only thing that may last longer, is that mask in your mind when you enter a dark room. 8 )
Jeepers Creepers
(2001)
Awful...just plain awful
19 September 2001
Having just removed myself of an hour and a half at the movie house, watching something that tries to pass itself off as a horror movie I find myself asking the question "Why was this movie made?" It starts out the first 15 minutes of a brother and sister bickering like little kids, not acting like young adults they try to portray. The "bad guy" visually looks nice, but he has absolutely no substance and in the wake of classics like Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloweeen, etc., this bad guy (who has no cool name) is more on the level of Barney that Jason. I refuse to spoil the movie, far be it from me to tell you NOT to see this movie and waste your time and money, but it has THE worst ending of ANY movie I have seen in many, many years. BEWARE!!!!
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
(2001)
Don't listen to the critics
15 June 2001
After just exiting the theater, I have to say that after watching this movie, it reinforces my belief that most movie critics are completely out of touch with movie goers and what we want to see. Is this an Oscar worthy film? No, of course not. Is it highly entertaining and worth the price of admission. YES! Angelina Jolie does a wonderful job of bringing Lara Croft to life, and the director brings to the screen a lavish touch of cinema art. All who are thinking about purchasing a ticket to see this film, take my word (I had no clue that Tomb Raider was a computer game until two days ago) and purchase a ticket with the confidence that you will see an entertaining movie. What else do you see a movie for?
Five Deadly Venoms
(1978)
To the Point!!
18 March 2001
After reviewing this intense martial arts movie for the first time in nearly 18 years, I must say it did not lose any of its mysticism, nor any of its eye-popping martial arts action as I had remembered from my youth. The story of a dying martial arts instructor sending his "unfinished" pupil out to find the 5 past members of his Poison Clan, so they do not seek out a fortune which the master's friend keeps hidden. Afraid that his last pupil did not have enough training, he instructs him to befriend one of the five "venoms" so as to defeat the other four.
I can't say enough about the choreography or the camera work. A fine film in its own right and quite possible one of the best martial arts movies ever made. A CLASSIC!!
I can't say enough about the choreography or the camera work. A fine film in its own right and quite possible one of the best martial arts movies ever made. A CLASSIC!!
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