A police sergeant must rally the cops and prisoners together to protect themselves on New Year's Eve, just as corrupt policeman surround the station with the intent of killing all to keep their deception in the ranks.
On New Year's Eve, inside a police station that's about to be closed for good, officer Jake Roenick must cobble together a force made up cops and criminals to save themselves from a mob looking to kill mobster Marion Bishop. Written by
When Beck is shooting out the window upstairs at a cop car, you can see the policeman running away, then suddenly, the policeman disappears. See more »
Listen to me. What are we talking about, really? Getting high? No. We're talking about a journey, man. A subconscious safari. A mental expedition, OK, a mind trek. This planet has been raped, pillaged and fucked! And the mind is the only uncharted territory
[picks up cocaine]
And this shit is the ship. It's the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria and you... are fuckin' Magellan.
[spills a little bit of cocaine]
Oh fuck... I spilled some.
So what do you say my ...
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Stupendously Awful -- But Don't Miss The Festival of Bad Acting!
For the first five minutes or so this movie looks pretty good. A drug deal is going down, and then it goes bad when somebody makes the dealer as a cop! Ethan Hawke is totally believable as a drugged up scumbag -- it's when he has to play a heroic cop that the movie falls apart.
Many moons later . . .
The worst actors in history come together to play an assortment of loser cops and loser criminals holed up in a condemned precinct house being attacked by mindless bad guys. The story is dumb, the script is clumsy, and the special effects are bad. Not even the snow looks real!
All this has a tragic effect on Our Heroic Actors. They seem to know that this is a career-killing movie. Their shoulders slump. Their eyes glaze over. Their acting gets worse and worse as they sink into a zombie state. And some of them used to be talented too! Let's meet the doomed cast of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13:
ETHAN HAWKE. Generic pretty boy, Frankie Avalon type, adequate in light romantic comedies. The usual leftist affectations off-screen. Wretchedly miscast as a tough cop. Keeps limping around to remind us he was once shot in the line of duty. Really wanted to see him get slapped around by Laurence Fishburne or Brian Dennehy. Or even by Drea De Matteo!
LAURENCE FISHBURNE. Effortlessly authentic. Genuinely talented. Seems to know the movie is bad, but holds his own as the villain just by keeping quiet and allowing his own personal power to overcome the absurd script. It would take ten Ethan Hawkes to make one man like Mr. Fishburne. He can't save the movie, but he won't let it drag him down.
JOHN LEGUIZAMO. Brilliant Latino actor. Also senses disaster. Tries desperately to rave and shriek and chew scenery, hoping for redemption. Sabotaged by moronic dialog. "Us colored people should unite! Take guns and kill the oppressor. But first I need drugs. Lots of drugs!" Offensive and insulting Latino stereotypes soon reduce him to crawling through snow, begging for a bullet in the brain.
JA RULE. Moderately famous rapper. Snoop Dogg without charisma. Tries to act, forced to mumble third-person asides instead. "Smiley don't like this. Smiley don't want to be here. Why Smiley talk to hisself?" Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg are Olivier and Gielgud compared to this guy.
MARIA BELLO. Lovely blonde actress. Genuinely alluring in Mel Gibson's PAYBACK. Played a bitter call girl who'd seen it all, and was utterly mesmerizing and believable. No more. Here she's a "psychiatrist" who dresses like a hooker and behaves like a nine-year old. "They're shooting! Oh my God! Guns! We'll all be killed. Help me!"
DREA DE MATTEO. Christopher's girlfriend in THE SOPRANOS. Apparently it's easy to look talented when you have the best scripts, best dialogue coaches, best supporting cast, and best hair and nails money can buy. Here, as a lady cop, well, it's not fair to expect as much. Her dialog veers between "Ooh, I wish I could stop thinking about SEX" to "I want a cigarette SO BAD!" The best actress on earth couldn't have made this work.
BRIAN DENNEHY. Thirty years after FIRST BLOOD, still playing Sheriff Teasle. 'Nuff said.
GABRIEL BYRNE. Classy Irish actor. Doesn't want to be here. "We've got to kill them all before sunrise. It doesn't matter if they're cops like us. It's the only way. (SIGH) Why do I feel so empty inside?"
If you can watch this movie as a comedy, it's really good. But if you are expecting a story with real action where things make sense, don't bother.
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