kulaboy Reviews

The Rum Diary (2011)

This disaster is what happens when Hollywood takes on Hunter Thompson

[4/10 · 7 August 2013]

The film has elements of what could be great. And fails at every chance. It is a Hollywood version of Hunter Thompson. Depp, who is genius at "Fear and Loathing" is horribly miscast here as Paul Kemp. He is not Kemp. The man who plays Sala is just, blah. Director Robinson seems to try and channel "Withnail & I" but really doesn't strike a chord with this film. Perhaps Hollywood snuck in and did its usually job of ruining a good picture.

What do I base all this on? The wonderful book. Read it? You will see this film doesn't even seem to attempt to capture its wonderfulness. I hate comparing books to movies, but in this case, it's just not even a good movie. Moberb doesn't even seem like the Moberg from the movie. Chenault seems nailed as a character. Otherwise, blah.

Doctor Who (1996 TV Movie)

Watch how America can destroy Doctor Who

[10 November 2011]

America made Doctor Who. And it's bad. This is bad. It's horrible. I love Doctor Who, and have for a very long time. I watched this in 1996, as some kind of a pilot for Fox, and it stunk so bad. Where do I start, and how do I end? It's American made, to begin, so you know it will be bad because they are adapting a British production. So they insult it with American filmmaking. Asian gangs kill the Doctor? Please. Generic Asian actor saving him? Please. How is this story canon to the Doctor Who time line? Because it has Sylvester McCoy in it? I liked Paul McGann, a great actor from "Withnail & I." But lordy, using Eric Roberts to become the Master, yikes. And seeing the Doctor with a make-out scene. This is so American made, watered down to try and sell. Horrible. It's a painful excuse for a story. The ONLY good thing to come of this wretched lousy production (though, cool to see Will Sasso in it) is that it probably helped the 2005 revival of the show. But man, America really knows how to make bad, generic, bland TV. This is just CSI with science fiction in it. Avoid at all costs. This is not Doctor Who, this is bad Fox TV. I will never consider this canon.

The Impossible Kid (1982)

A hilarious and yet engaging film

[8/10 · 4 October 2006]

This little gem was found by me in a dollar store and I couldn't resist the cover- a midget super hero! All my fantasies on the cover of one DVD. Was it too good to be true? It was better than expected.

Dubbed, the characters in this are totally straight faced actors. Agent 00 works for Interpol, and despite very few lines, he performs amazing acrobatics and fight scenes and even drives a mino scooter. He is adored by women ("I couldn't help myself") and seemingly indestructible. This is a pleasure of a film and I am dying to see the first movie as this is a sequel. Worth a dollar or ten dollars for the sheer joy. I'm glad they didn't take it too seriously but also didn't go overboard with humor or jokes- subtle comedy that lets the little man do the work. Great scene when he has to reach for an elevator button.

The Blockhouse (1973)

Wow! Wow! True story? What a great movie anyway!

[8/10 · 26 January 2005]

This is an amazing film. Listen for the movie soundtrack... yes, what soundtrack? There is a little music at start and end, and then... the silence becomes the tomb that these men are trapped in. It's based on a book, and I don't know if it's a true story or not, but I'd love to find out. This isn't a flashy movie and it's darkly lit and the sound (on my video anyway) is poor. But wow! Men trapped in a tomb with no hope of escaping for SIX YEARS. What a story. There is enough food, water, liquor and candles to last them for most of the movie.. the only thing is, being trapped near the ocean without any hope of escape, the men face boredom. Interesting relationships bloom and ways of passing the time, such as games, are the men's only escape. When a bicycle is discovered, the men go crazy with delight.

This is a tough film to watch. It's scary to imagine it happening. And there are good, good performances by the crew involved. I saw it because of Peter Sellers- I came away realizing this movie is stolen by the whole cast and I wish it would be seen more and appreciated. This is a film I think Alec Guinness would have appreciated.

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (2004)

"I have no personality of my own." A perfect capture of Sellers Life

[10/10 · 12 January 2005]

This movie is an excellent adaptation of the Life of Peter Sellers. Is there a story in here? No, there is no "movie" plot. Like Peter Sellers was in his real, the movie is often chaotic, jumping through and over characters fast and with fury. Just as you get used to someone, they are gone. So was Seller's life. From the book of the same name which I read, Sellers felt he had no personality, no self, and I think he felt very different and cut off from people. He did not know how to function and being childlike was just second nature because he knew nothing better.

It's a great movie. Geoffrey Rush is in almost every moment, taking on so many roles and voices and excellently capturing who Sellers was- and who was he? Who knows? This movie could really frustrate the average movie-goer because there isn't coherent plot lines, and it's hard to like Sellers unless you realize and understand where he is coming from. Like his behavior or not, he was a smart man who acted very impulsively "I keep making changes..." he tells his psychic friend, and the movie shows this. Many times his changes backfire. His first wife Anne is a delightful character, but she is pushed out of the way for Britt Ekland, and then she's pushed out. And so many people come and go. Sellers never seemed to find a handle on life apart from the movie roles he had- everything else seemed like substitutes to making him happy. A great film, but not an ordinary film by any stretch of the imagination. Many people throw tantrums like Sellers, and maybe other actors share his problems, but there was nobody like him with the knack for the characters and voices he did- heck even his lousy movies are pretty entertaining, if you're willing to feel stupid for a couple of hours (Watch "I Love You Alice B. Toklas" a great film that almost feels like a Sellers autobiography)

I Love You, Alice B. Toklas! (1968)

A soul searching movie! Great fun

[6/10 · 27 November 2004]

I was born 8 years after this film came out, so I'm a little out of touch with the generation. BUT! Look closely at this film. Sure, it stereotypes hippies and seems a bit out of date. What this film really is becomes a search for one man (Petter Sellers) to find out who he is, and to avoid the traps of life that he suddenly sees as conventional. As Harold Fine, he questions what life and marriage have to offer and he seeks to discover what else is out there. The pot brownie sequence opens up his world to new dimensions, he breaks off his marriage to be with a hippie chick, he drops out, he tries to free himself. Do I relate to Harold Fine? Heck yes! The film mirrors much of Peter Seller's life himself, confunsed, unsure, searching. The scene with his guru cracks me up- Sellers face is priceless as he tries to stop trying and learn who he is.

This film deserves a lot more attention then what it receives. This isn't just a time capsule into the dropout 60s world- it's a good time capsule into soul searching.

Wild Wild West (1999)

A horrifying movie

[1/10 · 31 March 2004]

A truly devastaying disaster, ruining an otherwise television show that starred two great actors. Back then, the TV show explored science fiction-- the idea of normal old west factors meeting slightly sci. fi elements, in a Twilight Zone-like element. But now along comes this hugely overdone film with gigantic budgets, none of which elevate the film to any kind of inventine, interesting or entertaining style. It's loud, crass, and the actors are just too hip and too in the know, and just plain annoying. A movie doesn't need to be exactly like the dated show, of course, but they did nothing to do any justice to a wonderful program. And it needed a midget.

Iron Chef USA: Holiday Showdown (2001 TV Special)

Iron Chef comes to America, Shatner style!

[8/10 · 29 November 2003]

I watched two episodes of this, Holiday Showdown and Showdown in Las Vegas, and these two episodes capture the original show quite well! William Shatner is the Chairman in a very over the top and fun performance, although he isn't in it much. The stars are the chefs who duel against one another using a selected dish- the chefs have one hour to make 5 or more dishes using the secret ingredient, and then have it rated by a celebrity panel (including a guy from the Sopranos and a Playmate) for style and taste. The Iron Chef has announcers calling the shots inside MGM in Vegas- it's a very flashy show, and great for short attention spans who enjoy cooking and competition. A lot of fun!

Invincible (2001)

Misunderstood movie

[8/10 · 29 November 2003]

Werner Herzog is not a conventional filmmaker-- he is a storyteller, a documentrarist, and he creates films that last in the memory. Amazing visuals, dreamy settings, wonderful stories. For those that find the acting "wooden" then it would be best not to recommend the movie Werner directed in which he hypnotized his cast and filmed them (Heart of Glass was the title of that one). His characters aren't major actors, these aren't Hollywood budget films filled with the usual film cliches-- Invincible is like a ride that I climbed on and just watched what unfolded before me. The pacing is slow and yet filled with tension, drama, humor. Herzog has a story and his cast are there to fulfill his vision about not just the events leading up to the Holocaust, but of the people it affected, the men and women of Jewish faith.

I liked this film a lot. The camerawork is dazzling, the music score haunting. Even Tim Roth puts in a nice performance-- I wouldn't have thought of him as an actor Werner would cast! I still see crabs crawling over train tracks in my mind now.

Bartleby (2001)

Interesting, but slow.. A very Glover movie

[6/10 · 2 August 2003]

My first reaction to "Bartleby" is that this movie is much like a previous Crispin Glover effort, "Rubin and Ed" about a strange, directionless man with little background, who plods his way through life carelessly. Some of the awkward moments and surreal dialogue and movements within Bartleby seem to be forced, trying to hard, to capture a campy feel. The film doesn't quite reach a campy status though because of this. Although Glover captures his quirky behavior perfectly, from staring at the air vent for hours, to endlessly saying "I prefer not to.." to every work request, and the dynamics of the working relationship with his boss are interesting at times. Joe Piscopo and Maury Chaykin have some strange roles as co-workers who are up to no good... how these guys stay employed are a mystery.

Bartleby has two major problems. One is, it just gets boring. A good slow movie can do and say a lot, but Bartleby just seems to be obsessed more with how weird it can be, how far it can push the surrealism of its cast and the corporate buildings on the hills. Another thing is, why does Bartleby's boss take such an interest in him? What is the motivation? Perhaps this is best explained in Herman Melville's book, from which this movie is based. For a Crispin Glover fan, this is even barely worth watching.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

A creative Bond masterpiece

[9/10 · 27 June 2003]

This is the best Bond movie in the series, in my opinion, because it is an ultimately creative, intelligient, smart Bond movie that combines an equal amount of action with a good of love story. George Lazenby does exceptionally well- no actor can expect to fill the shoes of the previous, but what can you do? He is great. Better than Moore? YES! Better than Dalton and Brosnan? Easily! He's his own Bond in a very good film. It's also the saddest of the Bond movies. With wonderful choreographs, scenary (the alps) beautiful women including Diana Rigg, a creepy Blofeld, and the music.... just the music alone really kickstarts this film. Listening to Louis Armstrong and the Christmas song almost bring tears.

True to the book by Ian Fleming for the most part, this represents a last in the Bond movie series- staying faithful to Fleming, and to trying to advance and further the Bond story without parodying itself and making a mockery by living in its own legend. This movie has a story to tell and a great way of delivering it. Truly underrated.

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Woody Allen did it first, and funnier

[2/10 · 14 June 2003]

This is an unfunny movie. The humor progresses deeper and deeper into sophomoric misfires, a silly fight scene Matrix=style with a cow that failed to generate any laughs (and the theater was dead quiet, mostly in horrified silence). Woody Allen did this before and did his version much better, so if you want laughs, or at least something that won't bore you to death, rent "What's up Tiger Lily" and let this one collect dust!

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Pearl Harbor Truly a lesson in hack filmmaking

[1/10 · 14 June 2003]

This is one of the worst films made in a long time, a true lesson in hack filmmaking. It's a film that capitalizes on the realization that tugging at veteran's heartstrings and showing lots of young and perfect looking men and women will produce a blockbuster- but this movie is a hit only in money made, because it is a joke. The characters are so un-likeable that one can't help but cheer for Japan, and only wish they had finished the job to wipe out these useless and dullish characters. The direction is slow and dull, and even the action scene of the attack comes off as over-baked and tiresome. The sweeping musical score, which is indistingushable from a hundred other action/war flicks of recent times, only is there to try and make the viewer "feel" drama. Pearl Harbor fails on all accounts to an interesting film. Why not try a different approach? Why does perfect and hunky Ben Affleck have to be in love with a woman, why not make him a gay man? How about make Cuba Gooding Jr. into something other than his Jerry McGuire-sidekick role? Can Josh Hartness try to act and stop relying on his looks?

Avoid if you can.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

An underrated masterpiece of Star Trek lore

[10/10 · 10 April 2003]

This movie gets too many hard knocks, but it is the film that launched everything. Had this been a box office failure, think where the Star Trek generations would be today. Star Trek TMP set a standard, a film that truly soars with mighty ambitions and creative thought. It has its rough bits and drags in parts, but the amazing special effects and race to encounter an unknown enity are exciting. Watch the Special Edition DVD with the commentary on it and you will see the movie in a whole new light, and feel the excitement of seeing Captain Kirk and the crew returning.. they're back! After all this time away from TV, it tingles one's soul to see them back on the bridge. The amazing overture at the begining only entices you to the historic drama of Star Trek. There are many questions in the movie, such as Spock's devotion to starfleet or to his own interests, that the film deals with, and the competition between Kirk and Deckard (and it sets up the wonderful relationship for Picard and Riker in TNG). Watch this again, it's a good, good start to a wonderful movie series and ten times better than Star Trek 5.

American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002 Video)

Underrated sociopath suspense flick!

[7/10 · 27 March 2003]

American Psycho 2 deserves a lot of praise! Although it's a different crew from the original movie, it is also a very different film. It's only tie to the original is the little girl (Mila Kunis) who witnesses the death of Patrick Bateman. After that, it's a clever little film that doesn't aim for too much but offers up cheeky humor, a clever and hilarious performance by William Shatner's sad little professor, and Mila is delightful. Her character is a total sociopath, devoid of emotion, cold and cool and ruthless. One of the movie's best moments is when she finds a fellow student who she is competing with for a higher position is actually a fellow psycho- it strays away from a lot of "horror" cliches. This isn't the most suspensful flick ever made, and it's way different from the original Psycho movie- it's a lighter plot, it's less about the hip and rich kids. This is aimed more for a college crowd, but if you're a sociopath like me you'll dig the twisted nature of Mila Kunis here.

Auto Focus (2002)

A wonderful, insightful look to a troubled man

[9/10 · 25 March 2003]

Auto Focus is really good- Greg Kinnear, as Hogan's Hero star Bob Crane, is on the ball and not afraid to show some skin and the somewhat seedy sexual situations his character goes through. It's fascinating to see how Crane is so well liked and charming, while maintaining an addiction to sex on the side that troubles his career and marriages. His relationship to his friend John Carpenter, played by the always strange Willem Defoe, displays Crane as being a mostly lone soul, confiding only with a man who hooks him up with state of the art video cameras and photo sessions of their sexual exploits. It's interesting how Crane was critisized for his sexual exploits, and yet maintained a fairly clean image from drinking, drugs and violence- typical of American family values. Great movie! Kinnear deserves major props.

Willard (2003)

Campy good fun!

[8/10 · 19 March 2003]

Willard is great! It's an after-noon matinee kind of movie, the one that you shut off your mind to and just enjoy the weirdness of it. Willard isn't trying to make any grand statements or come off as some bloated attempt an Oscar movie or a pretentious art movie, it's just simply about rats and revenge! One of the oddest and misunderstood actors of time is Crispin Glover, and he plays his leading role perfectly. I love the fact he works mostly with rats and avoids the standard cliches of Hollywood love, and he's neither a good nor bad character. Just one who is p****d off and wants revenge! And before long this film is about his little war with the master rat, Ben, making for unusual conflicts.

I can't wait to see Willard again. Crispin can obviously lead a movie, with the right kind of script and direction.

The Creeps (1997)

Bizarre, low budget fun

[8/10 · 23 August 1999]

The Creeps is a perfect low budget film. The whole picture looks like it was made for less than $200. But lacking in set and money, the crew seems to have a fun time. A lot of fun is poked at the library system, notably in a feminist having sex with a first edition book of "Jane Eyre." The midgets are the stars of this. When an experiment bringing literary characters to life goes wrong, the real fun kicks in. The lead star as Dracula gives a great performance. The acting seems a bit off once in a while, but if you like a B-movie that doesn't take itself seriously and could make you laugh, tune in to "The Creeps" at your nearest specialist video shop!

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

To call this a horror film is a grave mis-justice

[8/10 · 5 August 1999]

I hope the filmmakers of the Blair Witch Project read this. I want them to know what they did to me when I went to see this film, as it has left permanent scars in me. I may never be able to walk into a movie theatre again. I was forced to leave 1 hour into the film with hyperventilation and motion sickness. I was blown away, but I was too scared to know it! Quite simply put I haven't seen anything so amazingly original and incredible on a motion picture screen in a long time. To call this "horror" is an insult to the creators, because this is scarier than any other film I've ever seen.

There's no way to compare this to anything. Amazing. However they'll never sell another movie ticket to this reviewer. I'll buy it on video so I can have the lights on!!

Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe (1980)

Short, strange, fun

[9/10 · 27 May 1999]

Werner Herzog has put his mark on the world of movies, even though you may not know the name right away- he made "Fitzcarraldo" the movie about the opera fan who halls a boat over a mountain. This documentary is shot by Les Blank and details a bet Herzog made to a friend that he would eat his shoe if his friend completed a film. Well, Herzog does have to eat his shoe. And it's very weird, but Herzog is a bit of an odd guy himself. It's a short enough documentary and fun to watch. This documentary is one of two about Herzog- the other is an award winning "Burden of Dreams" about the filming of Fitzcarraldo. I highly suggest checking it out if you enjoy this.

The Mummy (1999)

I'm insulted by this pathetic piece of poo

[1/10 · 26 May 1999]

I wish I was bribed to this movie, because it wasn't worth admission. Every film cliche doesn't describe The Mummy. To even try and explain it's sad existence is tiring. Let me begin with the previews: they show the best parts! Yes the effects are nice, for the few minutes they really spend showing them. The rest of the film is filled with Brendan Fraser and a chick and Arabs making one-liners and mumbling non-sense. I felt like I had seen Stargate, Godzilla, Independance Day, Diehard 3, and the Matrix, all pulled into one un-inspired motion picture that didn't even try to use originality. I wish the screenwriter had at least read some of the dialogue they used from a P.C. script writing software because it's boring. I think audiences would have enjoyed cutting out the romance scenes and all the rest of the filler and just showed an hour and a half of the mummy killing people, I mean that's why they make these types of generic recycled films after all. I would like to ask the reviewers who enjoy this film why they enjoyed this film, because you've seen this film dozens of times. Be it a lizard, an alien, a stereotypical foreign assasin, or a mummy, it's the same thing, over and over and every summer. I'd like to spoil the ending but I was too interested in picking my toe lint by that time to care.

Safe House (1998)

Even a paranoid can have enemies

[10/10 · 26 May 1999]

What a great movie! When I rented it I expected another "action adventure film." Instead what I got was a funny and serious film dealing with alzheimers and paranoia. Patrick Stewart puts in a very moving performance as a man slowly losing his memory, and his paranoia concerning his personal safety. I was inclined to believe someone was out to get him. But the film doesn't dwell on this- it spends much of the time dealing with Stewart's character Mace coming to grips with his disease, with his new sexy maid, and his obsessions. It's funny, it's moving, it's great to the very end. The directing and writing is wonderful and doesn't give in to cliches- such as, no steamy romance between Stewart and maid Kimberly Williams (grrrrowl) and the plot is not convulated with lots of silliness. These cliches are evident in Sean Connery's worthless and dumb Entrapment, so thank goodness our Brit Stewart made such a fine film. Hell I think he was Oscar worthy. This film goes on my top shelf next to the greats.