Welly-2 Reviews

The Final Test (1953)

An absolute belter

[9/10 · 10 February 2008]

This is a magnificent film and all the better for this being such a surprise. There's a quiet dread when you watch any film that claims to be about sport, especially when so many of its stars are credited to appear. Wooden and contrived come to mind. This throws all such stereotypes out of the window and is a wonderful and thoughtful classic.

There is humour and a great deal of emotion, there is also a splendid performance from Jack Warner who really surprised me with his sensitive portrayal of a proud cricketer and father. Robert Morley hams it up as usual and there is the delight of a Richard Wattis cameo to add icing to this wonderful cake.

All in all, this is a joy to watch; intelligent and witty thanks to Terrance Rattigan's sharp script. I love cricket, but those that know nothing of it will still get a great deal of pleasure from this cracking film.

When Worlds Collide (1951)

Kept my daftness-o-meter registering 'full'.

[8/10 · 8 February 2008]

Few things are better in a film than straight-faced hokum. The idea that the world will end as a new planet crashes into it is a sobering plot but the way it's dealt with here has more holes in it that my old gardening jumper. And that's what makes it a great watch. Apologies to the makers of the film who doubtlessly were keen to make it a believable and dramatic journey, but the daftness just keeps overwhelming things.

There is an attempt at a love story, which is as pointless and usual in such films, there is some tremendous 'Boffin Action' as middle-aged men pull serious faces and pretend to be scientists, and there is some outstanding nonsense as a small boy is rescued from a roof and is made one of the 40 passengers to be saved on the rocket at the whim of one of the boffins. Great stuff! Just as you thought the apex had been reached and your daftness-o-meter was registering full, the rocket reaches the new planet (using a technique new to Newton) and reveals it to be nothing but a painting created by the same people that create charity Christmas cards painted using only their feet. Amazing.

Watch this film with some friends, a beer or two and enjoy the merry banter as the silliness is commented on by all and sundry. Great stuff!

Do Not Disturb (1965)

Doris tries, but this is a flawed film

[6/10 · 6 February 2008]

You can't ever complain about a Doris Day film, she brings a smile to the screen whenever she appears. This particular film, however, isn't quite in the league of most of her others. I'm not certain why that is, maybe it's because I find Rod Taylor very 2D or maybe it was because the plot became annoying as it got more contrived. This was obviously a film made from a play and you struggle to buy-in to the fact that this couple don't have a really serious problem if they are so swiftly prepared to believe in each other's infidelities.

The drunken Doris in Paris is almost upsetting because you just want to protect her and the modern view of the rest of the goings-on that the business convention seems to require don't sit comfortably. Doris is tremendous throughout, of course, and it's good to see the feisty side as well as the cute. I wasn't going to bother re-watching it if it came onto the telly again, but now I know you can spot Raquel Welch in the hotel lobby I might. A Doris and Raquel film.....there's a thing!

Battleship Potemkin (1925)

Fascinating and impressive, even today

[7/10 · 5 February 2008]

As films made in 1925 go, this is a cracker. It's not going to be the sort of thing you rent to watch when your Mum comes to stay over Christmas and it's not got much chance of getting chosen on an areoplane if The Fifth Element or Planet of the Apes are available, but it deserves great credit for even competing against the modern films.

The fascination comes in seeing both footage shot 80 years ago and in seeing a snap shot of post-tsarist Russia. That the latter turned so sour dulls the enthusiasm of the modern viewer but it is, nevertheless, historically fascinating. As a piece of cinema it is also powerful and impressive....I'm no expert, but you can see there is real talent at work here from the director. The number of memorable scenes from the film are a testament to its impact even today.

The Belles of St. Trinian's (1954)

Tremendous fun

[9/10 · 5 February 2008]

Tremendous fun both as a film and as an excuse to sit back and play the 'oh, that's whassis name' game. Every star of the golden age of English films seems to be in this one and it was a joy to see them. And the greatest of them all, Richard Wattis, was as tremendous as ever.

There is actually a plot that trundles along very nicely, there's also some splendid jokes and comedic moments, but the key to this films triumph is the characters within it. Alastair Sim is magnificent and somehow convinces you that a six foot, big-boned Scotsman could be the headmistress of a girl's boarding school. George Cole, Beryl Reid and Irene Handl all have their moments but, with Alastair and Richard, the star of the show is Joyce Grenfell. She is an absolute one-off and brings a smile whenever she's on the screen...her rolling-walk and plum accent done to perfection.

And for those playing the , that's whassis name' game, you can even spot Arthur Mullard, Barbara Windsor and Ronald Searle if you look carefully.

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Yellow magic

[9/10 · 5 February 2008]

It's always possible that a film version of a half hour program is going to disappoint. How could you ever doubt the Simpsons, however. The quality of writing is tremendous and this film sustains the ridiculously high standard throughout. The key to how any film has been enjoyed is often the amount of time it feels like it took to watch. Well, in one respect this felt like it took five minutes whilst in another they seemed to pack in enough for three films. Both are high praise.

The jokes are non-stop even if you may have to be a Simpsons fan to get many of them. There is some plot but that doesn't spoil the show! And if you could pick a couple of highlights from among so many, then the nude skateboarding scene and the spider pig scene are gold-dust!

Murder, My Sweet (1944)

Wonderful nonsense

[7/10 · 29 January 2008]

Apparently this is also known as 'Murder, My Sweet' after its original title fooled people into thinking it was a musical...having watched it I can confirm that it's probably the furthest from a musical you'll get in a film. With all the gruff-voiced moody faux-menace you'd expect from a Raymond Chandler book this is a great piece of nonsense that raises many a smile even though it wasn't meant to. A 21st century audience is never going to take the dialogue, or the plot, very seriously but that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable and entertaining. How can a film with the line "She had a brain like a plummer's hankie" not be worthwhile?! The acting is a bit wooden though Dick Powell ends up as being quite a success. The murky lighting and the daft stereotypes all become part of the fun. A diverting time was had, my wife and I chatted whilst watching the fun, and all was good in the world.

The Quiet Earth (1985)

Perfect plot imperfectly told

[7/10 · 29 January 2008]

My expectation when watching this was sky-high, and that's never a good thing. I remember seeing it once before and that it made a huge impression on me. I can still see why, but it was not the film I first thought it would be. Any film that has as a plot the fact a chap wakes up and there is nobody left in the world is OK by me. It's a favourite plot line and gets the imagination running in every direction. Sadly this film doesn't live-up to the high expectations, though there may not be any film that could.

The mumbling performance of Bruno Lawrence isn't the best and the promising start crumbles somewhat as he goes mad then meets a, surprise, surprise, young girl whose also survived the 'effect'. The silly science doesn't help matters and heaven knows what the ending is all about. I can cope with a thoughtful, puzzling finish but this was too daft.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

Thoughtful, powerful and disturbing.

[8/10 · 25 January 2008]

The best thing about this film is that it is an intelligent one. It gives an idea time and it doesn't drown science fiction in lasers, monsters and daft romantic tangents. It asks serious questions about real subjects....can we be trusted with atomic power, what is our place in the bigger scheme of things, what are we achieving apart from internal fighting. The understated but powerful way the arrival of an alien shows up our smallness is tremendous and very affecting.

Usually such films are diluted when the camera turns away from the special effects and concentrates on the domestic, here the opposite is true. The conversations and actions of ordinary people to the extraordinary events is where the films real value lies. As a human living on this planet it is quite amazing how completely you side with the alien against your own kind throughout the film. It's a disturbing truth, very subtly extracted by a wonderful film. It ranks as highly as Silent Running, which is praise indeed.

Bottom line....a smart and thoughtful masterpiece.

Big Fish (2003)

A heart-warming and thoughtful delight

[8/10 · 23 January 2008]

This was the third time I'd seen this film and finally it hit home. A moving, funny and visually spectacular treat that has one of the most poignant and upbeat endings I can remember. As a Tim Burton film there is a certain anticipation, and I think this can be a problem...there is no Johnny Depp and it's not particularly Gothic so you have to readjust to what it actually is, an emotional and thoughtful piece dealing with the reality, and unreality, of death. That's why it took me a couple of viewings.

Wonderfully wrapped in an Elfman score, the story is a meander through the tall-tales of a dying man and his son's attempt to reconcile truth from fiction when understanding his Dad. There is a tenderness and warmth here that gives this film a wonderful depth. There is also great humour, splendidly presented by the excellent acting and script. Visually stunning throughout, this is a real treat that deserves to be given time to grow on you.

Bottom line....a heart-warming and thoughtful delight.

Love Happy (1949)

I didn't love it and it didn't make me happy.

[3/10 · 21 January 2008]

If you watch this film as a Marx Brothers fan then there is some hope, but for the neutral it's a disjointed and disappointing effort that raises few laughs, has no plot to speak of and goes nowhere with no purpose. Film buffs will tell you that the minute of the film in which a young Marilyn Monroe appears is worth the entrance fee (it's not) or that Raymond Burr as a vertical baddie is wonderful (it isn't) or that it's great to see so much of Harpo (give me strength) but this independent, though grumpy, soul thought it was a dog's breakfast of a film stitched together from mediocre musical numbers and half-hearted Marx Brother's cameos. If you take it as given that the Marx Brothers in their pomp were great (which I'm afraid these 21st century eyes don't) then this is the runt of their offerings and should be consigned to the file marked 'watch once, forget'.

Bottom line....I didn't love it and it didn't make me happy.

The Iron Petticoat (1956)

Dreadful nonsense that makes 87 minutes feel like 200

[4/10 · 17 January 2008]

What was Hepburn thinking? This is a really poor film that goes nowhere and feels like it takes a long time doing it. Bob Hope relies, as ever, on the knowing side-glances but hasn't anything funny to say to justify them, whilst Hepburn spends the whole film doing a dreadful Russian accent to no purpose other than to annoy. It's a clumsy, stereotyped and frankly disturbing film that says much about the paranoia of the times. For the film's publicity to rave about the chemistry between Hepburn and Hope is laughable....their only chemistry is of the kind that brews sleeping potions.

Is there anything to salvage 87 minutes that feels like 200? Absolutely, the great Richard Wattis makes an appearance just as you are reaching for the remote. It's only a brief moment as he tries to sell sexy under-ware to Hepburn, but it's an oasis worth waiting for.

Bottom line....dreadful nonsense that never raises a smile

Move Over, Darling (1963)

Another delightful visit to Planet Doris

[8/10 · 16 January 2008]

More great escapism from the queen of the feel-good film. This time Doris is paired with James Garner and, as ever, the result is a delight. Cynics will say that Planet Doris is a fake, implausible world but do I care? It's how the world should be and a real joy to visit after another stressful day at the office.

Plenty of plot to cope with this time in a film that keeps you on your toes. It all has the feeling of one of those plays where characters keep emerging through different stage doors with another set of outlandish plot twists to amuse and bemuse. It's always kept just light enough to be funny yet there's enough meat in the story to involve you with the characters and, therefore, care about the twists that befall them. It's not quite as good as the Doris and Rock films, but it knocks the socks of most of the nonsense made in the last twenty years.

Bottom line....wonderful and daft.

Send Me No Flowers (1964)

Another delightful visit to planet Doris

[9/10 · 16 January 2008]

How can you not enjoy a treat like this. In the grubby angst-filled world we live in it's a delight to escape for a while into the sugar-coated planet where Doris and Rock have their adventures. This is a cracker and sees both of them, and Tony Randall, on top form. It's a film with a proper plot, plenty of great comedic moments and even a bit of pathos to keep the brain ticking.

Paul Lynde's brief part is a cracker, as always, and throughout you know the final result of the plot twists but are never sure of the route you'll be taken on to get to the inevitable happy ending. All just as it should be. As an experiment, watch this after Bad Santa and tell me which is the disgraceful, grubby and shameful world and which is the one we should aspire to.

Bottom line....a delight on planet Doris

The Fifth Element (1997)

A masterpiece that gets better the more you watch it

[10/10 · 14 January 2008]

A masterpiece from start to finish. It would deserve the word 'perfect' were it not for the annoyance that is Ruby Rhod....the Scrappy Doo of the cinema. What possessed Besson to include such a character? Anyway, not to dwell on the one fly in the ointment, this is a visual, musical and intellectual delight. Escapism at its best with every scene bringing new pleasures.

Bruce Willis plays it just right and Milla Jovovich is a revelation. However, the star, for me, is Ian Holm who is a wonderful and dependable spine going through the whole film. He's mix of bewilderment and being thrilled is tremendous. Amid all the drama and excitement is the soundtrack...Eric Serra's score is one of the best you'll hear and further proof that the Oscars are as wise a judge of excellence as a blind monkey with a rubber wand.

Bottom line....a Rhod away from being perfect

Dead Reckoning (1946)

Tries hard, but fails to engage or impress

[5/10 · 11 January 2008]

All the critics seem to love this film but I struggled to get into it. The need for Bogie to narrate much of the film made me want to listen to an audiobook version rather than watch. It's not a bad film, but it's a mile away from Bogie's best.

It seems that 'Film-Noir' is an excuse for letting atmosphere rule over content and this film fails because the plot really doesn't hold up well and, I'm afraid, none of the characters give you much excuse to care about them. The ending is a surprise, but Bogie's unlikely reaction to them adds to the implausibility. Lizabeth Scott is no Lauren Bacall and seems to be filmed in fog throughout. It was a reasonable 100 minutes of viewing and Humph dominates the show, as ever, but it's not a film I'll be rushing to Amazon to buy and it failed in the end for trying to hard.

Bottom line....would suit an audiobook version more than a film.

In a Lonely Place (1950)

A brooding, darkening masterpiece

[9/10 · 9 January 2008]

I can't resist a good Boogie film and this is a good one. There's real menace here, and it's both surprising and watchable to see the film darken. You want to cheer for the star and the tremendous script gives you lots of reasons to, but there is a feeling that Boogie is a train without brakes and, however thrilling the ride, the journey will end with him going off the rails.

Gloria Grahame is wonderful as the love interest, especially early on when she is trying to 'out-cool' the man himself. There is interest and intrigue all the way though as the masterful script somehow keeps things light as moods darken. Not a moment of the film escapes the brooding, fascinating presence of Boogie and I can't think of any other actor who could have carried off such a mesmeric performance....another feather fluttering off the cap of the Oscar folk for not rewarding such a performance.

Bottom line....a gripping film, more watchable as the sky darkens.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)

A worthwhile journey

[8/10 · 3 January 2008]

Films that have annoying characters at their heart can just end up as annoying. Cleverly this avoids the trap by making the audience a delighted spectator as the two stars battle to drive each other up the wall. Steve Martin and John Candy were made for these roles and most of the film's pleasures come from their interaction.

Watching this for the first time in a while, it was a real surprise to see that it was only 93 minutes long, an indication of just how much is packed into the film. It never drags and consistently tickles the funny bone, even if it causes just as many cringes too. Despite their excesses, you do care about the characters and the essential (so it seems) schmaltzy parts that all American comedies must have are survivable because of it.

Bottom line....an enjoyable journey, for the viewer at least!

The Santa Clause 2 (2002)

Enjoyable but tries a little too hard.

[6/10 · 2 January 2008]

This tries really hard and with some success, but it doesn't have the same levels of wit and charm of the first film. It may simply be that it's trying too hard. The pleasure of the first film was its humour and the hint of edginess that Tim Allen brought; the sequel sees, as so often happens, another victory for special effects and a bigger budget.

This is only a minor humbug, however. It's still great fun and passes a Christmas afternoon in a perfectly pleasant way. Elizabeth Mitchell is tremendous as Principal Newman and steals the show and Allen remains a top performer who connects with an audience in a way Robin Williams can only dream of. The son as a teenager has some value as a plot device but ends up being annoying rather than innovative and the rogue Santa idea bombs very badly. In fact, the plot lines get just too silly throughout. Keep it simple, it's Christmas.

Bottom line...fine Christmas fare but could do better.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Excellent, if sobering, thinking man's disaster film.

[9/10 · 2 January 2008]

A film that I enjoy the more times I watch it. Few things are better than a film that deals with the chance of the world ending, and this one delivers lots of sobering moments as Europe, Asia and most of America get thrown into a sudden ice-age. The effects are fantastic and realistic and the plot holds up, mostly. There is a bit too much of the schmaltzy stuff and it is very American, but once you've swallowed all that it's a great film and perfect to watch on a cold winter's Day as I did.

The acting holds up and the director keeps a firm hand on what are quite a few plot lines. Some of the latter could have been dropped, especially the daft and sentimental scenes trying to save the cancer patient, but I suppose the human element is always necessary in such films even if the excess of sugar isn't quite to English tastes.

Bottom line...so good I bought the DVD.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)

Magical

[9/10 · 6 October 2000]

A quite magical two hours of masterful film making. Performances of great wit and wisdom justify some of the finest costumes and sets I have seen. A pox on any of my countrymen who still insist Americans cannot do Shakespeare. Kevin Klein was magnificent and I trust nobody in World-Wide-Web-Land will tell my wife just how good Michelle Pffifer looked in this! Bravo to all concerned on this splendid, thoughtful and perfectly paced masterpiece. Shakespeare would have been proud, and you can have no greater praise than that.

Three Kings (1999)

Poisonous example of all that is wrong with America.

[1/10 · 28 September 2000]

This film made me nausious. It is the tale of American ignorance and greed at its most disgusting. Against a backdrop of stereotyped Arabia and Arabs, pathetic attempts are made at humour (in the style of Kelly's Heroes) and action. Both fail and the ignorance powering this failiure is enough to make you weep. What a sick nation it is that produces this garbage as entertainment. The 'message' is morally disfigured, the 'action' is voyourism at its worst, the 'acting' gives cardboard a bad name and the script was written by one of those infamous monkeys and their typewriters. The makers of the non-sense should be ashamed.

You've Got Mail (1998)

Nearly a great film.

[8/10 · 8 September 1999]

The heart of this film is in exactly the right place. You want it to be a winner, and it so nearly is. Meg Ryan is as splendid as ever playing the part of the girl next-door (I bet she hates that label!) and the chemistry between her and the businessman Tom Hanks is both funny and believable. In fact, it is all going swimmingly until the big problem arrives. The plot and the script are top notch, but they can't cope with the big problem. The pace of the film and the directing are excellent, but big problem knocks them down. The whole thing is cruising to its happy ending until BP leaps in. I feel a little guilty saying it because you may not have noticed and, therefore, may have watched the film happily oblivious. But once you realise just how much Tom Hanks is starting to look like the young Richard Nixon the more impossible it is to watch this film as it was intended! Sorry!

Meet Joe Black (1998)

Meet a great film.

[10/10 · 8 September 1999]

This has wit, charm, wisdom and is delightfully different. The performances of Claire Forlani and Brad Pitt are magnificent and Anthony Hopkins plays Anthony Hopkins to his usual high standards. The real pleasure of this film is that it takes the time to deal with something properly. It glides into its messages and observations rather than charging in. This is a quirky film and, I say, all power to quirk!

Outland (1981)

Sci-Fi at its best.

[9/10 · 6 September 1999]

This is a little gem of a film. Broody and grubby in its atmosphere, slow and deliberate in its pace, this film keeps building the drama and keeps raising the pressure until you are tempted to reach for the fast-forward button just to stop the tension. This is one of the 10% of Connery films that are magnificent. When he is good he is very very good, and here he is excellent. As shocking as it may sound, this copy of High Noon actually delivers more than its inspiration. As the shuttles arrival time clock ticks down the pulse speeds up. A splendid film and very much worth a watch.