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The Black Cobra 2 (1989)
Williamson As Malone as Back and a Little Better from Last time
OK, Williamson plays Robert Malone, a tough cop from Chicago in the Stallone/Eastwood mold. The start of the film, Malone is on a stakeout for a drug deal, which coincidently happens in front of his very eyes. His stakeout team catches one of the participants, but the other takes off. Now Malone makes chase on foot. We can see, that though to his credit he does his own stunts , his fitness isn't par as his NFL days, it is indicative in how the fleeing crook ( has to slow down to let Malone get closer). This comes to a head, when the bad guy grabs him a hostage. In perfect precision that defines Malone in the Black Cobra series, he takes an exact shot that blows the face off the bad guy while holding his hostage. Poor Malone for his trouble is harangued by his superior and sent to Phlilipines ("It's too hot in the Phillipines"-Malone). While only being in the country for 10 minutes, in the Manilla airport, he gets his wallet stolen by a con artist, masquerading as a friendly British expatriate. When he realizes and tries to go through airport security he is apprehended by the awesome security force at the airport. We need Lt. Mallory (played by Spiderman the action life series, Sound of Music alumnus and the infamous Marsha swollen nose episode). At first there's tension between the two. They pursue the con artist who stoled Malone's wallet. To their chagrin to find him laying dead in his apartment. Good news---Malone find his wallet, Bad News---we are going to have a horrible plot coming up. Now they find out in his apartment that the con artist has a daughter, Peggy, whose a lounge singer. They pay her a visit at her home. She's played by the forgettable Emma Hoagland, attractive, but horrible presence. In a horrible display of emotion, Peggy finds out the truth about her father's death. Now Malone is taken to Mallory's home to have dinner at meet his family. A cute and adorable kid, with horrible dubbed dialog Well he kicks Malone's butt in a rip roaring game of track racing with electronic matchbox cars. A few minutes of hammed dialog about how great the kid is, Malone leaves and goes to seek out Peggy. He arrives at the lounge and hears Peggy singing a song which in truth is sung by a Italian singer trying imitate Dionne Warwick, . Well, Peggy has cheered up from hearing about her father's death earlier. She needs to talk to Malone alone, so they walk at night in Manilla. She tells him that her father has provided her with $10,000 and a briefcase. He tells her to give it Lt. Mallory. She trusts him completely only after meeting him twice for less than a hour, Williamson's suave charm explains it all. Well they are suddenly accosted by Filipino thugs. In which we see Williamson's martial arts skills, OK, but he's 50...Well after being followed during the whole incident by Mallory and getting chewed out, they trace the departing vehicle carrying the Filipino thugs to an Iranian Shipping magnate. They visit the magnate, who gives them lip service pertaining to the car. Well, they only have supposition, therefore nothing can be done. Meanwhile Peggy is given police protection. She and Malone go on a semi-date and more Ham lines are delivered. No sexual activity takes place, just a nice peck on the cheek for Malone. Once Malone leaves, you can rightfully guess, she gets kidnapped. Malone angered for the blotch police protection, follows Mallory as they investigate the Iranian Shipping magnate. There Malone runs into a suspicious mechanic, whose guilty behavior, let's us visualize another cat-mouse chase between Malone and a bad guy. Malone catches the guy eventually and does some police brutality that can only be delivered by the Black Cobra. When chewed out again by the almost Ganhdi like non-violent Mallory who informs us he has bugged the telephone of the mechanic. The mechanic starts shooting with a saw off shotgun at Mallory/Malone. Well Malone initially without his trusty gun takes out the mechanic in true Cobra style. Now its on....They now go to the harbor to stop the Iranian's ships from docking off. Again, we are treated with more intense action, the typical our good guys can hit a needle from 1000 feet while the bad guys can hit a barn's side a mere 6 feet from them. This time Peggy is with the bad guys, remembered she kidnapped. We find out through the action that Peggy gets killed, which is merciful to the viewing audience no longer having to suffer from Hoagland's wooden acting. Now they have a witness (a bad guy they were able to capture). The bad guy is in the hospital. while there again under police protection, the Iranian Shipping magnate makes an attempt or succeeds..do not know exactly. Well after a brief interaction, he manages to pull a gun from the holster of Manila's finest, who for the 3rd time in the film foul up. In a brief stand off, Mallory dispenses with him coldly, probably the best acting segment that Hammond does in the whole film. While being interrogated, the Iranian guy tells Mallory that his son's school is being held hostage for the release of some Radical Iranian terrorist held in jail. Now in true form and art Malone and Mallory (dressed up and equipped as commandos) take out the bad guys in the building which were only 3, in true stop motion action sequences which makes Willamson the Black Cobra that he is. We never see the hostages- kids. We assume they are alive and well. Now we see the Mallory family send off Malone back to Chicago. The cheese and ham acting continues as Mallory admits he has learned from Malone. No longer a peace activist he is a shoot and ask questions later, Dirty Harry and the Manila PD is better for it.
Phantom Raiders (1988)
Miles what were you thinking?
SPOiler Ahead----- This is a story about a myseterious ex American Green Beret who is training Viet Cong terrorists in Vietnamn. They first take out a group of soldiers, only to have their base and activities photographed by CIA operatives. Well the photos get into the hands of the CIA, and they launch a mission with Miles O'keefe at the helm. He is to recruit and train 3 ex-Namn Vets to conduct this mission. They also bring with them.....The ex American Green Beret's son who is a formidable soldier in his own right. They are trained and then dropped off in Nam. They in true warrior fashion take out the enemy and the rest is history.
This movie was dismal. The plot was extremely simplistic, which may be the movie's only strength. The special effects are mediocre at best. The prob is that sometimes explosions happen in places where it is clearly seen that a grenade is not thrown in. The dubbing is horrible. O'Keefe sounds like a between of Clint Eastwood and Tom Cruise. The main bad guy voice is just hilarious. There is no character dialouge that goes for longer than 2 lines. The longest dialouge is given to the CIA Chief, who had those two consecutive lines. Most action movies even if the acting sucks, editing sucks, plot sucks, and special effects suck (think Seagal movies here) at least the action is what keeps them somewhat interesting, not here. This is one of the few movies where the action is completely boring. The action scene at the end at least goes on for about 20-25 minutes, non-stop. Its the same old same old. Bad guys who are supposed to be well trained can't hit the backside of a barn even only 10 yards away from them, and the good guys hit everyone with every bullet aimed. I mean you had bad guys falling down before any weapon was pointed at them and shot. The bad guys are obviously not Vietnamese but Fillipino, but who cares all Asians look the same right? (sarcastically). There were times when the editing was so bad, you guys in the opening scene put their weapons aside and looking around while the action supposedly is going on, thinking the scene was over. The funny thing is that this terrorist must have 200-300 guys in their force. Because the same extras (especially the ones in the red hats) are used over and over again.
I bought this at wal-mart for $1 alongside, Karate Cop. Karate Cop was 2-3 times better and it also sucked. Just puts this movie in perspective.
Laser Mission (1989)
Bad!!!!! Just BAD!!!!
Spoiler AHEAD!!!!!!!!! Young Michael Gold (Brandon Lee) is a freelance CIA agent who is on a mission to find what happened to a world renowned Professor (Borgnine)who along with a 500 something carat diamond were kidnapped by some terrorists working in cohouts with the Russian/Cubans/Africans?, whomever. He teams up with the Professor's daughter, or he thinks it is his daugther and goes to various locations to find the professor and the diamond.
This movie is dismal. The action was amateurish, Lee does not show much of his fighting skills in this one, well the choreography is too poor for him to do so. The acting is extremely wooden. One liners and clichés are plentiful. The plot is lost in the middle of the movie, alongside the movie's crediblity. His partner, is so annoying, I wished she was killed in the film. The ending did not really surprised me. The best thing about the movie is that is was only about 83 mins long.
I mean every shot that Gold and his attractive female partner shoot hits its mark. I believe that some of the extras playing the African soldiers just fell to the ground dead before shots were taken in their direction.
A stupid plot problem is that Eckard finally has captured the dangerous and elusive Gold who he has been trying to find both high and low and losing many valuable African allies at the same time, he not only allows Gold to be released from his handcuffs, but also puts his own gun up and leads the dangerous Gold into a trophy room filled with weapons that could be used against him, gee what will happen next???????. He meets his demise falling off a 30+ foot building where Gold is briefly shaken, but poor Ekard lands through a railing and is impaled. Another problem is that Gold is shot at the end in back or chest???, blood barely oozes, he at times struggles with the wound but at other times it does not seem to bother him nor does it ooze any longer.
The only thing that this movie could have exploited was the fact that both Lee and the female are attractive (physically, not entertainment wise) leads. But they fail to sustain chemistry nor any passion in their only love scene.
This movie is poor. They only used one song throughout the whole movie and is from David Knopfler, brother and former Dire Straits bandmate of Mark Knoopfler, who left the band before their huge Brothers in Arms album. The song Mercenary Man is second rate.
Trust me Brandon Lee who was only a mediocre actor at best later in his brief career (Rapid fire, and Crow) has better films, does get better acting wise, not much nor enough to get out of the shadow of his more famous father.
Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)
Another Awful Golan-Globus exploitation
This has SPOILERS: Here comes another Golan Globus production. The Israeli team made cheap, mostly awful action packed movies that did make profit in the theaters. They were everywhere in the 80's. This movies continues to the down spiral of the sub-quality of the Death Wish series.
Our favorite viligiate Paul Kersey is now living it up as an architect in LA, California. He is involved with a woman who has a teenage daughter. One night, the daughter has a date with the popular kid at school. They go to a skating rink/arcade center. They buy some drugs and the poor girl dies from an overdose of poor quality drugs. Well Kersey true to fashion investigates to find out that the dead girl's date is confronting the guy that sold them the bad drugs at the roller rink, the date gets a knife in his stomach for his troubles. So Kersey in true fashion takes out the pusher.
Now Kersey is lead to a nice mansion that is apparently inhabited by a concerned citizen. This mysterious man, makes Kersey a proposition in aiding to rid LA of the drug traffickers. He gives Kersey both weapons and info on both the Zacharias outfit and their rivals the Rommero Brothers. Well Kersey in his 65 year old body, takes out the key officers on both sides, to make it appear that each side is getting after each other. He bombs an Italian eatery, he throws a man of of an apartment window, he takes out a whole fishery front cocaine manufacturing plant, this part is fantastical to believe, they all are. This eventually cultivates into the Rommeros and Zacharias forces meeting with weapons drawn. They proceed to wipe each other out with the assistance, of you know who, that's right Kersey. A side plot is that Kersey becomes a corrupt cop killer once he is fingered as being involved in killings, he cunningly takes out the cop, when approached with the evidence.
Then Kersey goes back to the mansion, only to find out that his mysterious benefactor is not there, and to his dismay the house never belonged to him, but to a old man who was on vacation. How this came about I have no clue. Kersey finds out that the man elicited his help was actually a drug dealer himself. He used Kersey, the one man Rambo team, to take out both opposing drug gangs. To further add insult they kidnap, Kersey's girlfriend, who had been doing her own private investigation into the manner of death of her daughter. Well Kersey comes back and true to form takes out everyone, into of course you guessed it, his girlfriend also dies. All his loves die in the Death Wish movies.
Now I say this movie reeked. It was dismal. It defined logic. One sole man takes out whole drug gangs, virtually by himself. Bronson, I think, was just making this to collect a paycheck and to avoid retirement. He wanted to show that he at 65-66 could still kick people half his age butts and kick them singlehandedly in their combined groups. Bronson was not bad, but the plot sucked, the other actors were pretty much dismal,and the direction was off.