Laser Mission (1989)

Mercenary Gold is sent from the CIA to seize the laser expert Braun in Cuba, before the KGB catches him. A recently stolen giant diamond could be used together with Braun's knowledge to ... See full summary »

Director:

BJ Davis (as Beau Davis)

Writers:

David A. Frank (story), Phillip Gutteridge

Stars:

Brandon Lee, Debi A. Monahan, Ernest Borgnine

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Brandon Lee	...	Michael Gold
Debi A. Monahan	...	Alissa (as Debi Monahan)
Ernest Borgnine	...	Prof. Braun
Richard Cox	...	Calloway
Graham Clarke	...	Col. Kalishnakov
Gerry de Somma	...	Ernesto
Lisa Griffin	...	Braun's Daughter
Werner Pochath	...	Eckhardt
Mark Hodgetts	...	Pilot
Pierre Knoesen	...	Manuel (as Pierre Knoessen)
Karl Johnson	...	Prentice
Maureen Lahoud	...	Roberta
Ramolao Makhene	...	Customs Official (as Ramalao Makhene)
Petro Mchunu	...	Eckhardt's Team
Vic Mundy	...	Prison Guard

Storyline

Mercenary Gold is sent from the CIA to seize the laser expert Braun in Cuba, before the KGB catches him. A recently stolen giant diamond could be used together with Braun's knowledge to construct a laser cannon which could bring power over the whole world. Who will succeed: CIA or KGB - or none of them?

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Plot Keywords:

nipples visible through clothing | spy | camp | campy | kung fu | 

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Taglines:

A secret agent. A beautiful accomplice. A daring mission to prevent World War III. One thrilling adventure!

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Genres:

Action | Adventure | Thriller

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Certificate:

R

Did You Know?

Trivia

Riffed by the guys from MST3K under the Rifftrax name, Michael J Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy

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Goofs

When the Colonel's thug aims and fires his Mauser pistol, it is obvious that there is no magazine fitted to it.

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Quotes

Alissa: I'm Alissa Braun. How do you think I am? I'm hot, I'm tired, I'm hungry and I'm thirsty and I'm walking around in these high heels all day and I have blisters on my feet! And quit asking me such stupid questions, all right? And let me tell you something else, buster, you're not my idea of a dream date! You asshole!
Michael Gold: That's Mr. Asshole to you.

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Alternate Versions

The German and British VHS releases features an extended decapitation scene and a bit more violence than other prints of the film.

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Connections

Referenced in Best of the Worst: Our VHS Collection (2019)

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Soundtracks

Mercenary Man
(uncredited)
Written by Mark Knopfler

User Reviews

Best $1 DVD I've ever bought

Sometimes you just have to raid the DVD bin at the dollar store to have a good laugh with some friends. I found this jem today and promptly purchased it, sped home to toss it into my DVD player, and basked in the glory of my home theater.

Okay, not really. Obviously the movie is ripped from a VHS source, with the highly bleeding reds and hue saturation that would make a drag queen toss out his makeup bag.

The audio is pretty lo-fi, except for the odd instances where glass breaks and it magically turns into a life-like experience.

Brandon Lee reminds me of a young Bruce Campbell in this movie, believe it or not. Lots of corny dialogue and one-liners throughout. He gets beat up and shot at, and actually takes a few of the hits once in a while. There's TONS of continuity errors with the editing.

The accents are hilarious, as well as the spoken and written Spanish that was so poor I thought that I might have written it. Since I don't remember the movie actually saying they were in Cuba, it's funny to just imagine some fictional land of VW vans with unlimited fuel supplies, disappearing camels, and 400 mile deserts that are very easy to navigate through as long as you find a horse after it ran away a day ago.

The movie is actually somewhat fast-paced, unlike most of the garbage that was intolerable even while inebriated that I've grabbed up from the $1 bins.

Next time you run by it, pick yourself up a copy, then pour out some of your 40 in memory of the late, great, Brandon Lee.

Details

Country:

West Germany South Africa USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

1990 (Japan)

Also Known As:

Laser Mission

Filming Locations:

Hansa Hotel, 3 Hendrik Witbooi Street, Swakopmund, Namibia

Company Credits

Production Co:

Azimuth, Interfilm L.A., IMV

Technical Specs

Runtime:

84 min

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1