JoeyCeee Reviews

Showgirls (1995)

Its bad but in a good way

[4/10 · 12 June 2024]

Elizabeth B isn't to blame, everyone is bad in this movie. I laugh out loud at some of the lines (you've got great tits). It's like a Second City TV skit. The line delivery is so stiff it goes beyond camp. This is a big budget 'The Room". I actually feel sorry for the actors, but they took the role. I'm sorry that it ruined Elizabeth Berkley's career.

The amount of full frontal nudity becomes unsettling. The casualness of it makes it mute. The only thing that coulda saved it was Show Girls Part 2 that woulda diverted people from this.

I loved the part where the guy slipped on the marbles. I love metaphors.

Heist (2001)

Keep in mind this is a Mamet film

[7/10 · 6 June 2024]

The dialog is SUPPOSED to be stiff and cliched, that's what Mamet does.

The plot is almost secondary to the attitude of the actors and the scene. The silly sayings and metaphors are bad on purpose. I think everyone did a top notch job acting. The plot twists all made sense. In the end you either like Mamet films or you are mad that you weren't potty trained properly.

The last 4 plot twists were all good. I see someone said 'The Score" was better. The Score is only good because of Marlo Brandon.

A lot of people don't like Rebecca Pigeon, she may be the Yoko On of acting, but I like her. She sings too. She is a cute as a pail-full of kittens.

Atlas (2024)

Made it half way thru before I wrote this review

[4/10 · 29 May 2024]

I am a big fan of characters you like, Indiana Jones, Ripley, Frodo, John McClane. Could they have made JLo's character any more unlikable? That's rhetorical.

We get non soldier thrown into a military world plot, Tom Cruise did it better and became super likeable, JLo is hard to like in this. It's a pretty straight forward, why didn't they listen to the expert (Ripley) and she is proven right.

I will plug on trying to find the good in this movie. The special effects are good, That's the easy part. The story is pretty blah. Instead of spending 100 million on effects, spend some more on writing.

Gandu (2010)

Haven't seen it but I'll give it 1 star

[1/10 · 3 May 2024]

I help bring order to the world of movie reviewing. The number of fawning 10, 9, 8, 7 outa 10 reviews is high-larious. The trailer was chaotic so I assume the movie is too, and from what I'm reading you will like it if you are pretentious and think that "film" is important.

Looks like it has no character development, not story, no plot, jut scenes strung together. Thank you Truffraut (and the American version Scorsese). Lazy movie makers that can't be bothered with narratives. I'm sure this movie will have a lot of graphic stuff to impressive the cool kids. Next time try having arcs and difficult stuff rather than shock.

I probably won't watch the movie when it's available.

Sleeping Dogs (2024)

A yawner

[4/10 · 13 April 2024]

Russell Crowe is solid. The rest of the cast is laughably silly. Some decent actors reading silly lines. The plot is Scooby Doo-ish. I am confused where it was taking place. Thought New England but not sure where it was supposed to be. I hope Crowe isn't gonna be the new Nic Cage and take every roll thrown his way, cause that would be sad.

I watched to see how boiler plate it was, who would you think was the bad guy and then the next and the next. Kinda disappointing. Someone else mentioned the music, which is good, but it's there to make the movie seem better.

4 outa 10 mainly for Russell Crowe.

2024 Oscar Nominated Short Films: Animation (2024)

The weakest animated shorts program

[2/10 · 1 March 2024]

IMHO this was an extremely week animated shorts list. None were good looking, well animated or that interesting. None have stayed with me.

The John Lennon one will win because in has a bit of name cache. Yoko will go up to accept and say "If John was here...blah blah blah". It was uber-treacle.

The salmon one, while not nominated, was pointless treacle.

The hijab one was on the list purely for political reasons.

Pig was the best of a bad lot. The technique wasn't used to it's potential.

Pachyderme was...ya know it was so bland nothing stayed with me.

95 Senses tried to mix things up by using different styles through out. It worked as well as an electric dog polisher.

2 out of 10.

Hazbin Hotel (2019– )

Made it 2 episodes in

[1/10 · 26 February 2024]

Didn't enjoy it. I have to assume the 10/10 reviewers are lonely blue-haired whiners who have never tried to be a better person. The tone is hateful and nasty, and unfunny (is it meant to be funny). It isn't deep or thought provoking. It takes a long held symbolic concept and does a 180 with it, as if that's clever. The characters are nasty deviants, who's aim must be to tear down western civilization (the only civilization).

The plot, premise and general direction of what I saw is daddy didn't love me enough.

Get ready for the battle of our live times, the battle between good and evil. This is ain't good.

Oh and the general "art" direction, character design, color palette is horrible.

Watch Blue Eyed Samaria for some real thinking adult themed animation.

Eileen (2023)

Nice of you to throw us a curve ball 3/4 of the way through

[2/10 · 9 January 2024]

The movie was going no where anyway so why not take a crazy leap. I guess the performances were good, but I would like a story that I can follow or at least a well crafted mystery. You could of made it become a alien movie and it would have served the same purpose.

The lead is ok, but as a Massachusetts person, what accent its that?

AH lays it on thick but she doesn't ruin it, lack of story does.

SW play a good drunk dad with demons, but he's wasted.

The movie woulda benefited by being longer (imagine that) and give the characters some arc or depth rather than give them quirks.

On second thought becoming an alien movie mighta been the best option.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Maybe this ends it all

[2/10 · 24 December 2023]

So we have after 20 minutes in.

1) Evil Men 2) Weak Men 3) Strong Female Cookie cutter plot, peaceful farmers at the edge of the universe not bothering anyone, but the evil empire shows up to enslave them. Ok I guess that's fine but the 1st fight and the Strong Female is stronger than guys that out weigh her by 100 lbs. She can stop there attacks and then kill them all (they had the guns! And she took them all away, they may have gotten a few shots off that all missed!). If that's the way this is heading I don't need to watch all the way through, I can watch in 20 minutes chunks when I have time.

It seems like we've seen this all before, and done better. Part 1? This is studio/career killing stuff

What I've seen so far is 2 out of 10.

If it gets better I'll let you know but, right now I'm agreeing with the 1/10 people.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023– )

When does something happen?

[3/10 · 9 December 2023]

4 episodes and its a dull slog. Unlikable characters. Why do I care about any of these people, they either whine, snark, or sneer. The women are horrid and the men (man?) is weak. Maybe there's a character arcs that are coming... but not holding my breath.

Episodes 3 and 4 could've been 15 minutes long and then add some real meat and storytelling.

I don't care if they find what they're looking for or they even show monsters. It's too boring. I may make pipe cleaner statues to fill any long boring nights rather than watch this stuff any more.

And they wasted Kurt Russell, how can you do that?

Addendum: Just finished episode 8, is that it? Cliff hanger that leads into maybe 2nd season?

Lowering my rating from 5 to 3. NOTHING HAPPENED! The series may have been helped by 1 story line. I guess the kids finding dad, but that was a story line just to get the ball rolling.

Gangs of New York (2002)

One of the most overrated movies ever

[2/10 · 2 October 2023]

Horrible acting, hammy beyond belief. DDL was eating the scenery like a pit-bull, but alas it was silly, wash your hair too. Cameron Diaz is 3rd worst actor of all time just ahead of Paulie Shore and Joseph Cotten. Historically inaccurate which is ok if the movie is entertaining...this wasn't it was tedious. MS has made maybe 2 movies in his career that isn't over the top violent slop-fests. He can't tell a story so he strings together violence and "who you calling a mook" dialog. At least this didn't have Pesci or DeNiro. LD was horrible as usual miscast as anyone with any toughness. But the public eats this crap up and says it a masterpiece. I am astounded how many 10/10 votes this gets! Sad people who need to create idols to worship.

Off the top of my head I would rank this near the bottom of the MS pantheon. Only things worse are Shutter Island, The Departed, and The Irishman.

The Drop (2014)

Convoluted

[6/10 · 30 September 2023]

Some good some bad. Its a cryptic plot centering around losers in a bar and gambling. Decent performances, but Tom Hardy trying to do Brooklyn makes him sound like he's got brain damage (not everyone in Brooklyn has brain damage). Noomi Rapace is okay, again the Brooklyn accent is forced, I took her to be an immigrant speaking English as a 2nd language. It was a decent take on a crime/mob/goombah movie. John Ortiz as the cop was great, he's great in everything he does. The reveals at the end were well done (The Dennis Lehane short story is great, and better told story) SOME people think the footseps at the end were the cops but nah, we don't need another twist that isn't ever revealed. All in all a 5 out of 10.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Not as bad

[5/10 · 2 September 2023]

As I was lead to believe.

She is an unlikable character, Indy isn't as pathetic as they said. Not too many call backs to make it annoying.

Ok there's that but why is Indy pathetic at the beginning, why has his life become a failure. Why not make him a millionaire recluse called back for 1 last adventure to help his god daughter?

Why make her a scoundrel, I can't believe she was meant to replace Indy in the franchise, but couldn't she be likable? Rachel Wiesz is a likable adventurer who played nicely with Brendan Fraser. Why have her be cold rather than plucky,

I don't think this is a franchise reboot, I think it was the farewell.

Oppenheimer (I) (2023)

Not a 10

[7/10 · 22 July 2023]

Solid 7.5. Great acting, great visuals, so-so editing. Nice to see Ciliian Murphy getting a leading role. No actor is better at acting w/o saying anything. It's the semi-watering eyes. I'll have to look into all the non-bomb making aspects of his life, I know so little. Didn't know about the commie ties, the losing security clearance (whatever), and all the rest. Ni ce to so many actors having 1-2 lines and doing a great job, I guess they all wanted to be in it. Musta sucked to be a part of making a weapon so powerful, but if they didn't someone else worse woulda. Anyway I'll never put on another life jacket.

The Flash (I) (2023)

Anyone rating this higher than a 3 is delusional

[3/10 · 19 July 2023]

Like I've been told Ezra Miller is annoying...put 2 in a movie you have a real problem. Too jokey, special effects are so-so at best. We all were waiting for Keaton, who is good, but not enough. A slog and a half. And there no reason for any of the callbacks. It starts out as a Flash movie, then its a find Batman movie, then find Super "man" movie. A boring plot point to plot point script, jokes that fall flat or are a distraction. All in all a boring attempt. Need to read into the recasting of Billy Crupud, did he make the smart move and get out of the super hero world.. So we done with this Flash? I sure hope so.

Black Adam (2022)

what was the point

[4/10 · 11 November 2022]

Is there ever gonna be a character arc? Terrible cuts, terrible action, terrible acting, terrible plot. Unlikable characters (they made the Rock unlikable!) is not a fun time.

Not sure its wise to introduce new characters with no idea who they are or what is their motivations. Didn't all those bad Suicide Squad/Harley Quinn/Joker films tell us that?

Rock looks good but old. Is this a one off for the character or do they weave him into the DC Uni. I guess so since Superman showed up.

This is a kid's movie, with kid's plotting, very much a wasted movie.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16.

Deadwood (2004–2006)

Watching Deadwood for the 10th time.

[9/10 · 29 September 2022]

Still amazes me how good of a show it is.

Season 3 gets better with each watching. After Ellsworth gets killed even Tolliver is pissed off at Hearst's senseless violence and takes it out on his girls.

When Mrs Ellsworth thanks Al for his protection, his reaction of stunned silence is amazing. Al probably never got thanks like that before.

Its a shame they couldn't wrap up the show with a Season 4 but we get what we get. Some great character arcs (Joanie Stubbs, Trixie) are what make the show that much better. The secondary characters get a chance to shine too. Even E. B. has his moments.

Look forward to watching it again next year.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Not exactly a worthy continuation

[4/10 · 8 September 2022]

Of the great stuff the MCU has done. Very disappointing. Why couldn't they do something. That honored the lore rather than make a joke film. Oh well I watched half of it and will watch more later.

Spanish review.

De las grandes cosas que ha hecho el MCU. Muy decepcionante. ¿Por qué no pudieron hacer algo? Eso honró la tradición en lugar de hacer una película de broma. Oh, bueno, vi la mitad y veré más más tarde.

Latin review:

Magnam mcu vafa fecit. Valde frustretur. Quare non poterant aliquid facere. Honoratior lore quam iocus amet. O bene dimidium eius aspexi et postea plura servabo.

Afrikaans review:

Van die wonderlike dinge wat die MCU gedoen het. Baie teleurstellend. Hoekom kon hulle nie iets doen nie. Dit het die leer vereer eerder as om 'n grapfilm te maak. Ag ek het die helfte daarvan gekyk en sal later meer kyk.

Knight and Day (2010)

Knight and Day is sadly underated

[8/10 · 5 September 2022]

A great romcom/action movie. Tom Cruise is always charming and Cameron D cute as a button. Great chemistry between them. The plot isn't bogged down with to many things to remember, on the run and the occasional gun battle. Slowly learning Tom Cruise's back story is well done and they good guy gets the girl and rides off into the sunset, what's NOT to like...or love.

I guess at the time it was a kinda throw away movie so there was no big hype or promotions but it holds up well after 12 years.

After reading some reviews I have to say a small point. Cameron Diaz's character didn't LIVE in Wichita, she lived in South Boston. She went to Wichita for car parts. Thank you carry on.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Now THAT'S what escapism should be.

[8/10 · 3 September 2022]

This is what entertainment should be.

Characters you care about, quickly established plot, action, friendship, some call backs, some sadness and a touch of romance. Pretty great ride and a ton of fun.

No message to preach to us, just keep us following along and on the edge of our seats.

Jennifer Connelly looked great btw. Not sure if planes were actually flying (they looked real) but it seemed real.

Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters. Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters. Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.

Rogue Agent (2022)

I watched it for the cast

[4/10 · 7 August 2022]

Specifically Miss Arterton, but was like a long TV show, everything was vanilla, and occasionally French vanilla. Needed more menace that he was a bad egg, rather than leaving it luke warm for most of the film.

Human Resources (2022–2023)

I love the obvious plant posts saying "I love it!"

[1/10 · 20 July 2022]

"It's a laugh a minute" "It's hilarious and irreverent" A show is a hit, so they make another one that looks the same, but they turn up the raunch...do I have that right?

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

3 minutes in

[2/10 · 9 July 2022]

Is it too early to say the plot/storyline is implausible. Pterodactyls living on the top of the the freedom Tower in NYC and they don't just shoot them? I guess this will be the ultra dumb summer blockbuster.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Too many plot elements

[4/10 · 29 June 2022]

None seem that important. A lot of lets run till we figure out what to do. Lot of being dropped into the exact place they want to be. Terrible acting, bad sfx, really a kids movie plot (or lack there of). Lot of eye candy for eye candy sake. The female lead was horrible.

Now to bash a little wokeness. Scarlett Witch defeats all the male Illuminati in seconds but has trouble with 2 female members. SW is over powered so its a little boring. They only defeat her with motherhood so we got that going for us.

THE MCU is dead took me 4 sittings to get thru this mess. Not really interested in any of the next round of movies. I'll just watch Nerdrotic and Critical Drinker for fun reviews.

P. S. I thought this the whole movie...just meet a guy and have kids. I know she is crazy, but ffs there's always another Vision.

The Offer (2022)

Hellava good time

[9/10 · 25 May 2022]

Great story of the making of a great movie. Great performances by actors imitating actors we know w/o it being parody. Matthew Goode is phenomenal as Bob Evans and Anthony Ippolito as Al Pacino to name 2...oh and Giovanni Ribisi is about as good an actor as there is right now. Really enjoying iit!