Julian_Lie Reviews

The Departed (2006)

The Departed has the worst cast in history

[9/10 · 19 February 2007]

The Departed is one of the best films of Scorsese since Goodfellas but if the cast wasn't so bad it could be one of the best movies of all time, no bull. I'm not writing this to say who would be a better option, I'm doing it because most of these guys are very poor actors: Leonardo DiCaprio: I think is time for Scorsese to stop trading "special favors" for gigs in his flicks, here he's a tough guy, the only movie in where DiCaprio was alright is Catch me if yo can. He did Titanic which is the biggest piece of .... I've seen, The beach that was a ruin, Gangs of New York that was awful, The Aviator that was a torture to watch it until the end, and... oh yeah and the Man in the Iron Mask where he did OK because the character is a push over.

Jack Nicholson: He was tolerable but nothing special, I'm tired of him doing the same role of a psycho, he's done.

Marky Mark: This rapper/actor/joke is better known by his album called ... well who knows, I think he has like a third nipple and a brother in New Kids on the Block, yeah a real success. How does this guy can be on serious movies? Is like Vanilla Ice making the part of Sonny Corleone in the Godfather. This guy is awful.

Anthony Anderson: You know him, the black dude from Scary Movie, the boring one. Who I'm kidding they all were bad, that flick was terrible. Anyway, what was Scorsese thinking, why did he put a bad comic in the move, a rapper and a psycho weren't enough, he just had to put the comedian? This guy can't act to save his life.

Alec Baldwin: I have to be honest, this guy actually makes me laugh in the Saturday Night Live rejects show, 30 Rock, good show. But in this movie, oh man. How does this guy get so far in his career with just one character? He's useless in a drama because he has been in too many comic shows now and is not like he has diversity in which he transforms himself, no, he's the same guy every time. Or maybe is the haircut, who knows.

The rest were great: Martin Sheen, Matt Damon, Vera Farmiga and Ray Winstone. Man Scorsese ruin it with the terrible casting, just awful. The movie storyline, music, script is all great, is a great story. But what happened to Harvey Keitel, Robert DeNiro, Ray Liotta, Juliette Lewis, James Woods and Daniel Day-Lewis? He used to cast great actors.

Too bad that the movie is a rip off from an Asiatic flick called Infernal Affairs, so Scorsese really didn't do anything, any half with could direct that movie with references like that, he didn't write anything and the only job he had was to pick the right actors but he couldn't even do that right, Scorsese is a sham.

Crossroads (I) (2002)

Oops you screw up again

[1/10 · 17 March 2006]

I watched this "movie" on TV and man its bad, If you're hoping to see Britney nude or with minimum clothes better watch her videos. Its full of clichés and is the most predictable "movie" I've seen since Glitter. Britney's acting is very bad also the rest of he cast. If you're a hardcore Britney fan please get treatment or kill yourself, ether choice is good. What more can I say about this "movie" well not much, oh yes what it is about: A girl (Spears) that go in a journey to reach stardom, and in the way fall in love of her soul mate. Thats about it. So if you want to torture your boyfriend nothing better than the trilogy: Crossroads, Gliter and Gigli the same day.

The Million Dollar Hotel (2000)

Life through the eyes of a bum

[4/10 · 10 March 2006]

This is a very difficult film to like I think, I mean is great, a different story but the film is hard to digest, It submerge you in the mind of the weird characters.

The music is good, I don't love U2 or Bono in that case, but he does a good job singing other people songs, like satellite of love, he nail it, Milla does it better but he did a very good job.

It all begin when Izzy fall of a building, Izzy's father was a rich and famous person but Izzy lived like a bum in a crappy building and have a bad drug addiction, anyway a detective (Mel Gibson) came to solve a murder that nobody did, but there was a big secret within the people that live in the building that had nothing to do with Izzy's dead but it complicated the investigation, as the investigation continue Tom Tom (Jeremy Davies) fall in love with Eloise (Milla Jovovich) and she started to like him. More than a love story is a search to begin to understand what life is all about for anyone.

I really liked this film I don't care what other people say, watch it if you can handle it.

Un adorable sinverguenza (1986)

The last Soler?

[7/10 · 27 February 2006]

Well this is the most important film of the last director of the Soler dynasty.

The movie is about a guy that kidnap a girl and ask her family for money but the twist is that the girl doesn't know that, she thinks shes on a vacation with his boyfriend.

Hector Bonilla does an excellent job as the kidnapper, as the rest of the cast, the writing is very good it has some intelligent phrases and is an OK story. This movie would be a hit today, well today the Mexican cinema is mostly very bad so that wouldn't be very difficult to accomplish.

The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Goosebumps

[8/10 · 13 February 2006]

Sometimes, in very rare occasions the talent of a person go to his children and this is that case. Francis Ford Coppola is an awesome director but Sofia can be better.

OK the movie is about five sisters that end up commenting suicide, and why and the events that end up with their dead is a mystery. And that basically is the plot of the movie.

There are just a few movies that may gave you goosebumps one time, most of them at the end, but this one give you that sensation every five minutes. Is a trip to a girls mind, that we (men) really cant understand, but this film gives you an idea whats happening there. I would like to hear the opinion of a woman of this flick.

Rent the movie, watch it on TV, I don't know how but you have to watch it, is one of those you don't wouldn't want to miss.

Kurt & Courtney (1998)

Wasn't a suicide

[7/10 · 11 December 2005]

One night that I couldn't sleep I turn on the TV and I came across this documentary and watch until the end and I have to say I was very shocked, I mean what more need the system to -pu Courtney Love behind bars. After watching this I was convinced that it was impossible for him to comet suicide just because, he was to drugged to do it. The justice just doesn't exists, how after all this proves shes still free, Courtney Love is a drug addict psycho that kill his husband, but shes famous and wealthy, and she owe all she have to Kurt.

Coutney Love kill Kurt Cobain, if you don't believe me, watch this documentary.

School of Rock (2003)

The legend of the rent is way hardcore

[8/10 · 5 December 2005]

Dewey Finn (Jack Black) is a failed musician that get kick out of his band so to get some money to pay his rent he starts teaching in a public school, he decide to make a rock band with his students that are 10 year old kids, he teaches or at least he tries to teach them everything he knows about music, rock music to be precise.

Well I loved this movie because its my dream, I know its unreal but its grate, I don't know if everyone would like it but I love it, an awesome flick, It has also a profound sense that's about the disappearing of good music because the money, and how MTV, that were the pioneers of independent music, has sold out to the cold hard cash.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

We're all on drugs

[8/10 · 5 December 2005]

When I watch this flick the thing that I were most amazed of was that the youth haven't change since the 80s till today, I mean every thing that happened in the movie has happen to me or I have heard of it from someone else, every character is very real.

The movie is good but I was hoping for more since this film supposed to be a cult classic for teenagers, but its good.

I don't understand why all the publicity for this movie appears as a main character Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) he's important but the main character really is Stacy Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh).

I recommend people to watch this film because you will find a lot of similarities with your life as a teenager, and is just one of that movies you have to watch.

Jesus' Son (1999)

No bunnies were harmed in the making of this film.

[6/10 · 5 December 2005]

Its interesting how this low-budget movies are much better than a regular Hollywood film.

This is the story of FH (Billy Crudup) a lost guy that takes a journey to find happiness, he has a grate relationship with Michelle (Samantha Morton) and an abnormal job in a hospital, his relationship soon turns sour and she leave, he goes from town to town to find her and also to find his place in the world.

Its an odd movie but it carries a message and its greate for all the people that haven't found theirs place in the world, it joins humor with a bit of tragedy.

Well its hard to review this movie because is a little hard to explain, bun I surely recommend it for everyone, a grate film.

Machuca (2004)

I'm from the other side of the river

[8/10 · 2 December 2005]

Wow what a great movie, it really describes the time when Chile was communist.

I was on a vacation on Chile when I saw that this movie was coming out, I even went to the premiere, well I pass by the theater that would play it, and of course I tried to get in and of course the security guards kept me out. But I eventually watch it and get me realize what the Chilean people has to bare over the years, and how the events really made their people get more involve with politics than people from other countries.

The acting is superb and the direction too, just a grate movie.

Baise-moi (2000)

What genre is this?

[5/10 · 1 October 2005]

Here's the story about two girls that starts a trip to destruction killing and fuc----g every person on the way, one is raped so she kills her brother and run with his money, the other is just a whore.

The people that make this movie try too hard to shock that honestly I'm not shock with this film, they just try too hard, in fact is kinda funny. I'm not sure of one thing of this film. Is this porn, art, or just crap? I think is all of that, but then again I'm not really sure.

PORN: both actresses are french porn stars, but why make such a bloody porn movie.

ART: if it isn't porn it have to be art 'cause this isn't very commercial.

JUST CRAP: bad characters, stupid plot, well non-existent plot and pointless sex scenes.

Maybe this is a movie made to shock with explicit sex salvage killings and rapes scenes.

Its impressive in how many places I find this film, I saw it in TV, in a famous movie rental, even in a movie theater in Chile.

Overall, some people may find it hot, another boring, another shocking (yes I know, I have write "shock" a lot of times), or art. But finally you can't see something that isn't there; this isn't very hot, who wants to watch somebody shot in the arse between sex scenes. Boring? Hardcore action and sex is boring to you? Shocking; "Bully" is shocking, not this. Art; I know that art can be complicated to really understand it, but this is too simple, or is so simple that is complicated and becomes profound art. I don't think so.

The Last Shot (2004)

A movie with a bad script about a bad script

[5/10 · 1 October 2005]

The last shot is about a detective Joe Devine (Alec Baldwin) that is investigating a mobster, Tommy Sanz (Tony Shalhoub), so he make a fake movie to lure him.

I don't know if the actors that are in this movie don't read the script or something because it sucks. I rent it for Ray Liotta that appears very little in the movie, Alec Baldwin do a great job and Matthew Broderick well no so much.

Very disappointing, with this great actors, this movie could be good. It have some good moments but overall is bad, the story is very weak and is just not funny, Follow my advise and don't watch it, don't let the cast fool you the movie is bad.

The Cooler (2003)

I didn't know that some people have x-ray vision, specially casino's managers

[7/10 · 1 October 2005]

Bernie Lootz (William H. Macy) is a guy with bad luck that works in a casino giving bad luck to the people that are winning, he have a debt with Shelly Kaplow (Alec Baldwin) that's is the manager of the casino. Maria Bello (Natalie Belisario) is a waitress in the bar of the casino, she and Bernie start dating and he's bad luck disappear, but for Shelly that's a bad thing.

The movie is very good, good cast and great acting. I'm not a fan of Alec Baldwin but he's a very good actor, William H. Macy is great and Natalie Belisario is also quite good, it have its flaws but is very recommendable.

The Fifth Element (1997)

Luc Besson's masterpiece

[9/10 · 28 September 2005]

I wrote this review many times and none of them seem right so I'll keep it simple.

When a raze of aliens throw a meteorite to destroy the earth, the only hope is to find the fifth element. Korben Dallas (Bruce Willis) is a retired policeman or soldier or something like that, that drives taxis for a living, and one day a girl, Leloo (Milla Jovovich), fall in the taxi making a hole the roof. Soon he discovers that she's not a normal woman an he take her to Vito Cornelious (Ian Holm), long story short, Korben ends up with her in a cruiser to find the rocks that leads to the fifth element, but they aren't the only ones looking, Zorg (Gary Oldman) are willing to do anything to get it.

This flick is in my top ten greatest movies I've seen, Bruce Willis is the same as all his movies, Gary Oldman is superb as always as MIlla Jovovich and Ian Holm, Chris Tucker is hilarious and his character is great.

An awesome flick for every taste.

Resident Evil (2002)

A bad movie based on a video game. What a shock!

[7/10 · 28 September 2005]

The beginning of this flick is really good and dark, and it have some good elements and a good story, but somehow Paul W.S. Andersson manage to make it ridiculous with stupid kills and bad zombies. I have played the video games and I enjoy them, but when you do a film about a video game you have to focus on the story and not in the action 'cause, here comes the revealing part of this review, aren't the same!!!!!!!!!!! All action video game to be great it needs a deep story and action that can keep up the story. In a movie is all about the story, and some action. But when you put more emphasis in how the dudes are going to die and forget all about the plot in the middle of the movie, well that can't be right.

Milla Jovovich saves this movie from the abyss, she's a great actress and I'm in love with her, so everything that she does seems great to me.

Glitter (2001)

I actually know someone that love this

[1/10 · 28 September 2005]

I saw this movie like a year ago but it will never get out of my head, when I travel I can't never sleep so I'm forced to watch the movies that are on the plain, bus, car, etc... this one was in a bus, and I have to say that it's, tied with an Olsen twins movie, the worst flick I have seen in a vehicle, of course that I can't remember a worst movie in any situation, maybe Jim Carrey's "Liar, Liar", but is hard to say.

Mariah Carrey and company acting suck, well I think that is obvious that the so called "singers" can't act, ask Jessica Simpson, or Britney Spears, but well Hollywood won't change.

Don't watch it, if you're in a vehicle, you can't sleep, and is passing this, protest, brake something, I don't know do something 'cause this is awful.

The Motorcycle Diaries (2004)

La poderosa

[7/10 · 28 September 2005]

When I rent this movie I was expecting another story about how Fidel Castro recuperate Cuba but with Gevara's perspective, but I was wrong. This film shows the journey of Che Guevara thru south America, in this movie you can understand him as a person, as how him became a revolutionary, seeing all the disgrace of the people and how their cultures are destroyed for money.

This film shows who are and from where the Latin American people are, and how the culture of consumerism destroys the real culture, how some people live in absolutely poverty.

The acting is absolutely great, a very recommendable flick, rent it or buy it, just don't miss it.

Be Cool (2005)

Why Travolta why?!

[4/10 · 20 September 2005]

When I decide to watch this movie I thought that it was going to be an OK movie, it supposed to be a sequel of "Get shorty", a great and intelligent comedy.

Is clear that Travolta just want money to buy a new Boing 707 or something because this is terrible, is a remake of "get shorty" but with different actors, well if you can call The Rock and André 3000 actors. Both movies have the same elements, the only change in the plot is that instead of trying to make a movie, Chili Palmer (John Travolta) wants to make a record, or an artist, or... well he is board of the movies an want make music... well produce music... ¡make money in the music business!.

In a few words go and rent "Get shorty" and forget all about this movie 'cause it suck.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Genius and original, what a movie should be.

[9/10 · 20 September 2005]

This movie is about a very lonely guy, Joel Barish (played brilliantly by Jim Carrey). He lives alone and have a very routinish kind of life, but one day he meets a girl, Clementine Kruczynsk (Kate Winslet), and they really click. So, the time pass and they break up, Clementine erases her memory of him in a place that specialize in that, and when he finds out he decide that he want it to, so the movie begin, and its a journey in his memory. At first, all the bad things why they break up are the stuff he forgets, but then he begin to forget the good things and he want it to stop.

Well the movie is great, is a very different way to tell a story and the way is done it just brilliant. Jim Carrey make an excellent job, as Kate Winslet did.

Its a love story but no the traditional type. So if you like different movies, it doesn't matter what gender is your favorite, I guarantee you will enjoy this movie, and of course, this isn't a movie for everyone, so if "transporter 2" and "the dukes of hazzard" are you favorite movies better miss out this one.

Sin City (2005)

If you hate big-budget Hollywood movies, this one will change your mind

[8/10 · 19 September 2005]

I would never think that a movie from a comic book can be so great, x men, batman or spider-man aren't even close to this movie, you can't compare those to this one, definitely the best movie of a comic book, this is art, I hope the sequel can hold the standard because this movie is awesome, for me, the movie of the year without a doubt.

I'm sure that you have already read what is this film is all about, so I wont write it again, with all this high-budget Hollywood movies this year, especially the superheroes ones I never thought that a movie like this to come by, when the names Jessica Alba and Bruce Willis appear it seems that it would be like any other super hero movie but as soon ten minutes pass I knew that I was wrong.

A really solid acting specially Benicio del Toro. Bruce Willis as always, I don't know how this guy got so important in the industry playing the same character in EVERY movie but he always fits.

Maybe this movie won't go to the Oscars but hey what great movie does. I would like to compare this movie to another but I cannot find the right one, you just have to see this one.

If you haven't already watch this movie, what are you waiting for, you are missing an awesome flick.

Cinderella Man (2005)

Jim Braddock, Dr. Nash, Ron Howard really knows a lot of old people

[2/10 · 19 September 2005]

Is very simple, this movie is about Jim Braddock (Russel Crowe) the famous "cinderella man" a boxer that everybody thought that he was done and suddenly he has a big shot and return to boxing.

Ron Howard really know how to make big budgets Hollywood films, this one is the Oscars type of film, but that doesn't mean that is a great movie, in fact it means that Ron has found the "formula". I mean, this, "The gladiator", and "A beautiful mind" all have the same elements: Russell Crowe is important, Russell Crowe is a shame, Russell Crowe is more important than before, the end.

Russell Crowe, Renée Zellweger, Paul Giamatti are great actors and they demonstrate in this movie, solid acting really.

If you exchange Sylvester Stalone for Russell Crowe in any Rocky movie you will get "cinderella man" the difference is this is a real life story, exaggerated of course but in the end is a real life story.

I would recommend this film to those who don't really want to think to much about a movie and want to be entertain with exaggerated boxing and a good story.

Transporter 2 (2005)

Put Terminator, Jason, Jackie Chan and Neo in a blender and you will get "transporter 2"

[1/10 · 19 September 2005]

Here's the story about a hit-man, Gianni (Alessandro Gassman), that is hired to kill some drug zars of various countries, so he develop a virus and kidnap to infect the son of one of them, but casually his driver is the transporter (Jason Statham) so he is implicated in the crime, and he start his quest to find the cure of the virus and clear his name.

This movie is just a big cliché of action movies, I really don't understand how Luc Besson can make great movies like "the fifth element" and make this crap, is just so stupid.

Do you remember in the old action movies that the bad guys shoot at the hero and fail every shot until they run out of bullets, well it's here, or when the bad guy is running from the hero and the hero reach him walking, also its here.

The only good thing about this flick is Lola (Kate Nauta) is the only reason to watch this movie, is her first movie and she is HOT, that's how you know is a Luc Besson movie, a extremely hot woman that kick ass. But other than that I don't see a reason why someone should watch this film

Orgazmo (1997)

Good bad, who am I to decide

[6/10 · 19 September 2005]

Well this is a bad movie, but also entertaining and kinda funny, is just so bad that is good.

Is the story about a very religious guy that is getting married and need money, so he is the protagonist of a porn movie, the thing is that the movie gets really big and is also screened in the normal theaters. Joe Yung (Trey Parker) becomes a some kind of superhero, well not some kind, a superhero that use sex toys as weapons, I know absurd, It begins good but as the time pass it became more and more stupid. It has some good moments but nothing to applaud.

I expect more from the creators of south park, well the only creator is Trey Parker, that direct, write, and is the protagonist the movie, but if you don't expect nothing you wont be disappointed, well if you think that is a porn movie, you will