shtove Reviews

Dredd (2012)

Almost perfect

[31 December 2013]

Relentless action - only two pauses, when Dredd meets his rookie and when Dredd leaves his rookie. Everything else powers on to the final showdown.

It's kind of Clint Eastwood meets Resident Evil (including music), with a strong jawed goodie and his sensitive sidekick battling through a confined environment to take on the evil.

I was hoping for some reflection on the totalitarian nature of the society. There was a hint of the callousness, when a shopping PA system announces the dining area will re-open in an hour after a brutal shoot out. But you have to wait for an hour before the corruption shows up. So they can do more with the philosophy in future episodes.

The actress is a honey - thankfully she throws her helmet away because it interferes with her psychic ability.

Finally you have to wonder - if narcotics were legalised would all this violence be necessary? LOL!

The Hole (2009)

Confused

[28 December 2013]

Basically it's a Disney plot for 12 year olds with a couple of scary bits to market it as a horror.

The darkness in the bottomless Hole forces people to face up to their past. And of course in the end the heroes pull through, better for their experience.

A lot of horror clichés - the abandoned fair ground, the spooky little girl (which was well done at first), people walking out of the shadowy basement when they should be running.

I liked the actors, and the production had plenty of money behind it. But the story was confused, lacking a reason for this supernatural force and ending weakly as if it were all a dream. There was too much music to create effect, and the swing between horror and flippant comedy did not work.

2 Guns (2013)

Great set up, poor ending

[26 December 2013]

Clever set with lots of intrigue and potential for double-crossing.

The two leads play it well - a bit superficial, but both likable. And there are several nasty grotesque characters to overcome.

Plus the pace is so good you don't want to miss a second of the plot.

So after 40 mins I was thinking this could be as good as vintage Tarantino. But it veered off course, until I couldn't be bothered with the daft ending. The goodies should have figured out a clever way of using the baddies against each other to resolve all problems - instead we ended up with the goodies miraculously shooting their way to victory against helicopter/bazookas/M16. Over the top and nowhere near as good as the set up promised.

I think maybe the love interest is where the plot went wrong.

The Dictator (2012)

Wake up!

[15 October 2013]

This started out a bit weak. The baby with the beard was fun, but for a while I wasn't sure where it was headed.

But in the end it's a classic. The satire on racism/sexism and their counterpart, political correctness, gives lots of LOL moments. Plus there are a few running gags that work well, and the spirit of the movie is upbeat and hopeful.

There's a great scene where the dictator falls for Zoe - the midget in a chemo wig - as she bails him out of jail: she delivers a raging tirade to the "racist" police officer, while the dictator gazes on with loving eyes, and she ends with "I graduated in fem lit!"

Plenty of gross-out humour, which is the weakest part for me, but the rest is excellent.

And the crowning glory? The speech on dictatorship at the end. Wake up, peoples - we keep voting against our own interests.

Lifeboat (1944)

Weird propaganda

[15 September 2013]

Saw The Lifeboat (1944) early this morning, when I was tucked up in bed with flu. Very enjoyable.

It's a really intense exchange of dialogue between very different characters. I could see the inspiration for kitchen-sink drama + (maybe) who-will-survive horror films. Did it influence The Old Man and the Sea? It's Hitchcock with Steinbeck as writer (someone else as screenwriter), so the atmosphere is good. The confined space works really well, with cheesy backdrops of the seascape.

But it's really a propaganda film, so a lot of the charactertisation is unnatural, and the dialogue is sometimes irritating. I actually sympathised with the German, because I would have reacted in that realistic way. And the other characters lost some plausibility, in that they seemed to cheer for themselves selfishly. Maybe that's my contrarian horror-loving prejudice coming through.

Anyway - thank God they were all rescued by the state after committing murder, which turned into a propaganda point. A later Hitch would have taken retribution on those characters, but in the end we get a false justification of the unjustifiable.

In fact this film would have measured up to Hitch's psychological greats if it had been made clear that the German's command was actually in the best interest of the other characters. What do you do then? But that's not going to happen if your release date is circa D-Day!

Elevator (V) (2012)

Surprisingly good

[5 September 2013]

A ticking-clock thriller. Not a classic, but well done.

I thought the actors played a good game, as their inner tensions came to the surface with the time passing. Overall the strands didn't come together because some of the characters didn't necessarily need to be there. And there should have been a reckoning with the evil snake oil salesman who caused all these people to come together - even if to confirm that his kind will always walk away without harm.

The attempt to cut up the body was a great idea, but wasn't played for full value. Fairly good humour along with the tension, and the pace was just about right.

A few logic problems - the biggest was the broadcast interview with the bomb-maker: that's not going to be shown while the crisis is unfolding.

Recommend.

Diary of the Dead (2007)

Mixed feelings

[25 August 2013]

Mixed feelings about this.

The zombie threat was strong throughout. I liked the idea of zombies in the swimming pool, but it wasn't developed. Also the threat from the state, when the national guard looted the campervan - but again not developed. These are interesting takes on human terror and panic, but they didn't drive the story.

The driving element is a road-movie, but I didn't find that convincing - maybe because only one character had a fully explained motive to get home.

Plus I got the feeling that the direction interfered far too much in the story telling. I understand Romero is a '60s radical, and I get the point about citizen journalism, but the format of first-person hand-held camera was so heavily directed and edited that it lost spontaneity and "the message" came across too loud and too clear.

Zombiness is great for layering on metaphors. This movie does that, but it's a bit clumsy.

Splice (2009)

Great start, needs a bigger ending

[13 August 2013]

Clever movie. A mixture of Frankenstein and The Fly, with the sum greater than the parts.

The scientists make a good, dramatic couple - cool and likable. She turns into the obsessed bitch mother, while he is reasonable and weak. It sets up a lot dilemmas as they push their creationist experiment beyond the bounds.

The monster comes across well, although they could have just cast Sinead O'Connor and the result would have been similar. And the criss-cross moral failure of the scientists makes for a hopeless end - no redemption here.

Plot wise, the weakness is that the corporate at-all-costs pressure on the couple is not played with enough menace.

The dialogue could have easily set out the scientific method in separate lines - hypothesise, experiment, repeat and fail/succeed - but all we got was, "When did you stop being a scientist!"

And the final conflict is conveyed with the usual mucky-lighting and suggestive music.

Acting in the first half hour is excellent, but the minor parts fall away as things get simplified toward the end.

Overall a good experience, but they could have built to a bigger ending.

Ultraviolet (2006)

Concealed weapons found ... many!

[12 August 2013]

I liked this. A lot of people are pointing out certain things as weak, when I see them as strengths.

The characterisation is good, and there were a couple of good lines. "Moments like this are beautiful but when they're gone they're evil." "The choice is clear. You get to watch me die or you force me to watch you die." Nice and zen. And then the weapons scan before the final conflict: "Concealed weapons found ... many!"

There are a lot of over the top fight sequences, but these are really all about choreography and seemed good to me. The final fight is pure Darth Vader v Luke, which is really just a rehash of Errol Flynn jumping around a ship's deck waving his sword.

The story is a bit confusing, and I'm sure there are a few holes. You do get the clunky exposition voice over used in most sci-fi movies, but in the first 30 mins I was still niggled at some mysterious bits that seemed more like lazy plotting rather than laying pipe for a twist. Some people are saying that's down to the final cut, so I'll leave it at that. But there is a twist and the end is satisfying and coherent.

This has a real computer game feel, like Resident Evil Retribution, but is a much better experience.

Plus there's plenty of Jovovich in leathers.

The Descendants (2011)

7.5

[2 August 2013]

Family copes with dying mother. Oh no - chick flick! But this is very good.

The plot involves the sale of a family trust of land, but that only adds false sentiment. The core is how a father deals with his wife's relations - father, mother, daughters, daughter's boyfriend, and the slimy cuckolder - when his wife's star is fading in a hospital bed.

Great acting. Clooney and Greer are always good, but the best is Woodley as the daughter. A few characters could have been done better: the boyfriend almost overcame annoyingness, and the younger daughter and the alzheimers mother should have been given more funnies - script fail.

The music is pleasant, nice atmosphere. And I think anyone who has been at the bedside of a dying person will give a sigh over the hospital scenes.

Hitchcock (2012)

Scarlet's butt

[26 July 2013]

Just 7/10.

Good film with good performances, but it should have been better.

The Ed Guin fantasy sequences didn't work at all - bad misjudgement.

The Hitchcock-Alma scenes were bland. Alma had a big, self-justifying speech that cried out for irony, but the Hitch just accepted it. Meh.

And Scarlet hardly created friction. But nice ass.

Plus I didn't see any jokes about Hitchcok's method.

I watched this with two other people, and we hardly got a laugh out of the entire performance.

Serious pity given the material and the actors.

Dark Water (2005)

Waste of Pete Postlethwaite

[5 June 2013]

This is a metaphor rather than a horror.

Unstable mum struggles to look after her daughter in a messy family break up. In the end she sacrifices herself for her daughter's survival.

The acting and production is excellent, but the story not so good. Cast in another light, the father would be a sympathetic character - but he appears aggressive when he's the real force for good.

The writer probably transferred this good onto the divorce lawyer, and tried to embody the horror in a murdered girl. But it doesn't work - lots of "dark water", but no horror, no honesty.

And what a waste of Pete Postlethwaite! Plus John Reilly. Great actors, but they didn't need to be there.

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Dull Disappointment

[31 May 2013]

Dull - complete disaster for a great movie series.

Resident Evil is about putting flesh on the bones of a creepy video game, but this just strips everything away in a return to the world of binary choice. Every five minutes you get a repetition of Action-Exposition, with no character or entertainment.

The production is huge and flashy, with some amazing graphics and fight scenes early on. At first I thought this was a new angle on story telling, but the ideas ran out after five minutes and the story got tired.

The idea of being trapped in a world determined by an algorithm is clever, postmodern and all that - but it was completely empty. Remove the anonymous soldier characters and their endless gunfire and you're left with the core of a 30 min movie with superficial female characters delivering bad dialogue.

Plus the scatter of James Bond/Arnie style one-liners raised zero laughs.

I think maybe Mila got her way with a Russian theme, and her hubbie thought, "Why not? It's a franchise - keep piling up the dollars".

Sometimes crap is expensive, like Mila's product-placed Rolls Royce in Moscow. I can't be bothered waiting for the next episode. What a shame.

Storage 24 (2012)

Good

[22 May 2013]

Decent hunter-survivor horror, 85 mins.

The story is set up quickly. The pace slacks off half way through, but picks up. The best scene involves toys and stuffed animals, which gives humorous relief plus a hint of how the monster will be defeated.

The one big hole appears when the heroine is taken by the monster - the director doesn't bother to tell us how. Plus the director has no idea how to deliver a jump scene, which is a big thumbs down. Plus the hint about how to defeat the monster (distract it) isn't used at the climax.

The monster was unimaginative and, given the scenes in the vents and the creep locking his buddies in to face the monster, a lot of this derives from Aliens.

Characterisation was mostly good, and there's a strong love triangle. The mad man hiding from his wife comes out of nowhere, but he turns into an interesting character.

Two pretty actresses, but nothing erotic.

One of those genre movies that you like even as you pick out the bits where even you could improve on it.

Boy Eats Girl (2005)

There's vampires too?

[11 May 2013]

Pretty good comedy-zombie-teen thingie.

The soundtrack is all US adolescent angst, but doesn't create horror/suspense effects. The production is fairly high quality. The characters are built up nicely in a steady first 30 mins.

Major problem is that the director has no clue how to deliver a jump. Several opportunities were fluffed, and although there was decent gore the horror element was missing.

I think there were problems with the screenplay as well - maybe fewer characters could have delivered the same story and tightened it up, made it more satisfying. Plus Samantha Mumba is a honey, but she doesn't get any good lines.

The humour was goodish, with two LOL moments. The guy on the toilet bowl saying hello when the hero breaks down the toilet door with one blow of his fist. The best was with the blond bitch (Sara James) hiding in the closet with two guys: "I think we should stay here till dawn. Doesn't sunlight kill them or something?" "That's vampires." "There's vampires too?" The comedy sidekicks played their parts well, so you will have a smile on your face.

I straight horror, but this was enjoyable.

Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011)

Indie Romance

[10 May 2013]

Really enjoyed this. Not perfect, but almost every scene got me interested and looking forward.

It's a sentimental romance, but with the excellent acting and dialogue you expect from a US indie film.

The climax was completely improbable, but I likes'd it. And the reveal on the mother's secret admirer worked perfectly.

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ps. the spelling mistakes are "dialogue" and "dropdown" (latter is from the IMDb cut and paste filler).

Lovely Molly (2011)

He isn't dead

[28 March 2013]

It took me a while to like this. In the beginning too bleak, too much of the heroine wandering around a cold, silent house on her own.

It's not a supernatural story - really about a psychopath who finally lets rip.

The structure is weak. Why have the sheriff say he knows what happened in the past, and then leave him out for the rest of the story? What's with the horse pictures? The dead deer? And I was hoping for a twist with the sister as the bad guy, but it didn't happen. A pastor is brought in for no other purpose than to show male hypocrisy, when his insight could have driven the heroine to a crisis of character. Instead he turns up out of the blue at the end and becomes dead meat - and his corpse is covered with what look like horse-shoe bruises. Wot?

The acting saves it, especially the two sisters + the atmosphere (although the sound effects are sometimes irritating). So 6/10.

Straight on Till Morning (1972)

Falls short

[11 January 2013]

First 45 minutes are pretty flat, despite lots of jumpy editing.

The female character shows a strange contrast between her winsome imaginary world and the calculated deception she uses to get out of her mother's house and off to London. She uses submissiveness to get her way, but it's not all that interesting and I didn't sympathize with her.

Early '70s London is good to see - grotty and groovy at the same time.

The male character is well acted. But a lot of the dialog between the leads is Q&A, which I thought was unnecessary. Less is more, and I bet the actors thought a few more silences or unspoken thoughts would have conveyed the meaning better. The seduction is patchy - "give me your hands" is a perfect line, but what is she wearing when she knocks on his door at night? Didn't even make an effort.

The two-hander psychological drama picked up when he confronted her over stealing the dog, and the possibilities multiply, but the story didn't exploit them. Both these characters are shallow and manipulative, but in the end we get a bleak good v bad showdown where he's evil and she's innocent.

I was hoping they'd make the perfect couple - psychotic and psychopath settle down and live happily ever after. Toward the end there's a police hunt that could have ended in black humor if they'd turned up on the doorstep only to be told by the woman they're looking for to get lost.

Couple of absurdities: the carpet knife is not much good for stabbing and that awful wig she wears to "look pretty" - it was the fashion back then, but I cheered when he removed it from her head.

At the beginning I was expecting a cross between Looking For Mr Goodbar and Performance, but this falls in between and way short because of a weak script.

The Thaw (2009)

Good twist

[7 January 2013]

I read one of the one star reviews - unfair criticism, because the reviewer missed some of the plot points. Although there are still a few illogical and improbable bits!

This is an average chiller, with panicking youths struggling to survive a threat that stalks them.

Acting, pace and soundtrack are so-so. The heroine is a bossy little thing, could be annoying, but there's a good amputation scene where she takes over from the gutless man.

The twist at the end is well hidden and worthwhile, so that increases the rating to 6/10.

Wind Chill (2007)

Good start, weak ending

[2 January 2013]

This starts well. The girl is bitchy and bossy to her travelling companion, so you sympathise with the guy as a put-upon nerd. Then he lets slip a detail that marks him out as a creep, and you begin to sympathise with the girl; then she finds out he's not where he said he was from, and you begin to fear for her.

Up to this point the dialogue and pace are very engaging, but everything slips away. Their car is run off a remote road at the start of a black winter evening in the middle of a forest, and the supernatural stuff begins.

The guy goes for help, and the uncertainty about him is still there. But soon after he returns we find out he's just a nice guy, and the story turns into people accidentally alone in the wilderness, stalked by an unknown malevolence.

Blair Witch etc do this much better. The back story is Stephen King territory: bad historical events in rural America come back to haunt the future. A bit corny.

The uncertainty over the guy should have been sustained for longer. And he should have been incorporated into the back story - maybe he was a ghost come back to revenge his own murder by the evil cop. He did make the point a couple of times about Nietzsche's eternal return, but wasn't part of it. Maybe I missed the connection in the vague closing sequence.

The scary sound track was constant, which means the producers didn't have confidence in the work to sustain a sense of horror. During one improbable plot point (reverse of the "get rid of the phone" imperative!) I think they used Silent Night in Irish, which was eerie.

Gave it 5/10 - disappointing end after a very promising start.