bellhollow Reviews

Sharknado (2013 TV Movie)

Awfullly funny

[1/10 · 22 July 2013]

This film is so ridiculous that it should only be watched at parties where you can throw rotten tomatoes at the screen. The plot is ridiculous, the acting is a joke, and the script is so dumb that I can only imagine what the sequel will be, Blendernado. A bunch of blenders at an infomercial are hit by a tornado and people are blended to death and sold as smoothies. This movie is one of those laugh out loud movies where you must be trashed to enjoy. The girl falling out of the helicopter and being ate by the shark to have Ian Zearing save her was just so silly I almost peed my pants. I'm not sure, but I think sharks out of water tend to DIE. But don't let that stop this movie. How about spiders living in water? Could we have underwater tornado? How about Space Tornadoes? This film is so stupid it will be around FOREVER! Congrads Tara, you now have a second film that will outlive the American Pie series.

Mental (2012)

Well worth watching the entire movie

[9/10 · 15 July 2013]

This is a fantastic cast but you must watch the entire movie and not quit because you want laughs at the beginning. YOU must watch the situations be set up. I had to watch this twice to catch all of the words as I am Australian accent deficient. The ending is wonderful. Please watch this with an open mind as you may just be surprised at how well you can laugh. Colletti is fantastic as usual and this is probably one of the first movies I've watched where she didn't have to be so darn serious all the time. The mother is just wonderful and is so polly-anna I thought I was watching Dinah Shore playing Melanie on Carol Burnett, sticking her head in the sugar bowl. And the Daddy is so different than Without A Trace. Watch it and laugh.

You Again (2010)

What good actors do when they have a bad script.

[1/10 · 19 April 2011]

This movie should be reworked into about a ten minute short. Keep the scenes of our lead actress being thrown out of school. Keep the bride giving her a bridesmaid necklace with MOO on it. Keep Jamie Lee trashing the room of Sigourney Weaver. Then have the Betty White/Chloris Leachman scene at the end. That's it. Cut out all of the garbage that bad people somehow become good. Why would you give a MOO necklace to someone that you wanted to be friends with? The acting is a 10 plus, the script is an F- which translates to an F- movie. Whomever wrote this script couldn't decide if they wanted to make this a revenge movie or about growing up. Betty White is great, Hall eats Oats, not so great. I am so sorry that this ensemble made such a stinker and I hope that they remember to give everyone a second chance by being in something that has a whole lot better script.

Vampires Suck (2010)

Vampires Suck and so does the show. SPOILER ALERT

[3/10 · 24 February 2011]

This was one of those movies where the ending wasn't good, the last half of the movie wasn't good, and somebody forgot this was supposed to be a funny show. It could have been funny but having a werewolf chase a cat two or three times ceases to be funny. The ending could of been good, but instead of letting the lead vampire get a club to the head, they had to have Becca show her fangs. Just let the damn movie end. At least the club to the head would be a shocker like a girl getting run over by a car at the end of Scarry Movie. This was just not very well written and was just a "Let's make some money" and turn people off to satires completely.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

No ending, welcome to Star Wars II

[9/10 · 17 July 2006]

I really, really, really don't like a movie without an ending which is why I never saw but two of the star war movies. I may actually go see the third one because I did not like the slime ball Johnny Depp character but I loved the creole witch/fortune teller. The ending was really neat but then again, there was no ending. And I was the idiot who went and saw this over the Devil wears Prada (which I guess I wasn't an idiot since this is the better movie). Outstanding special effects, wonderful story, but then again we are back to that no ending thing. I did watch KILL BILL I & II and they informed me quite nicely that I would have to wait for the second movie. But not this stinker. Hopefully Depp will come back as a rotten stinking tomato and have to be turned into tomato juice and then he can become the ghost of the Red Sea. Really great movie, except, no ending.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Not much of a story

[7/10 · 17 July 2006]

This really is just about as much a chick flick as you can possibly come up with. The premise of the movie is good but then it just kind of becomes this Disneyish movie and nothing really awfully bad happens and the Devil in Meryl Streep is not much of a devil just a sorry boss who would fire you if you didn't kiss her rear in forty different places - not much different from any other overpaid, overpriced boss who thinks they do more than they ever could. I was hoping in the scene when the twins told her to come upstairs and give the mock up copy to Meryl, that the twins were going to draw mustaches on the book and all kinds of other stuff. But the movie is just there and doesn't really produce a pure devil. Ending is good, story is lacking, but the videography is superb, fantastic, wonderful. If this movie does anything, it makes everyone who watches it want to go to Paris or New York City. And of course the wonderful jewelry on Meryl is photographed very, very well.

Hostel (2005)

This is the one really mean movie you MUST watch!

[9/10 · 31 May 2006]

There are three movies in my lifetime that I have watched that captured the true meanness of the killer. They are "Play Misty for Me", "Dirty Harry" and "Hostel". All three movies do not give much leeway in the killers actions, they are killers, they kill. They may be nuts but let's not get lost in trying to figure out how to rehabilitate their sorry minds. Hostel is true from beginning to end, mean as hell. The beginning is a little slow of a setup but still, this is not supposed to be about Betty Crocker at the Pillsbury Bake-Off. This is a twisted variation of "The Most Dangerous Game", and nothing is left to the imagination. The only difference is that this has a good ending. The hero does not end up enjoying killing and become the new Hostel owner (hope this is not the route of Hostel 2) but instead kills 4 of the people responsible for killing his two buddies. The best scene is where the hero runs over the three killers, and the black haired woman looks up from the ground after being run over, just in time to be run over by the automobile chasing the hero. I was like, "Yeah", as if Iowa had just beat LSU on a last second toss at a football bowl game.

Endings are the most critical ingredient of a great movie. This movie has it.

Maybe Hostel 2 will be how he goes back and kills the management of the Hostel - or maybe the Asian friends of the two women murdered go back and slice the management up with Samuri swords.

Employee of the Month (2004)

Pretty good, pretty predictable. (SPOILERS

[8/10 · 23 February 2006]

The really good thing about this movie was never really knowing the true motives are previous jobs of the character played by Matt Dillon. Was he a mobster? Was he a good looking low life? His buddy seemed to have some kind of hold on him. And the bottom line is there is no honor among thieves. Enjoyed the ending but don't care much about seeing another Matt Dillon film with the extra scenes revealed to the audience at the end of the movie. NO MORE. I wasn't sure if a group could pull of this heist, how could they be so stupid as to let them kill each other off. That's where it kind of soured. But the eventually revealed ending was quite nice. Sometimes bad things do happen to bad people.

Come Undone (2000)

Very Realistic

[8/10 · 18 August 2005]

This movie was more of a passage into manhood for one gay man, and how he must deal with everyone. His mother is depressed, his younger sister is a pain, his older sister is somewhat accepting. The relationship looks good with his boyfriend/exhooker and he leaves his family to try life with this first guy. Unfortunately, the new guy screws around on him and says it really didn't mean anything. Our young gay man goes bonkers and ends up in the looney bin and eventually leaves, dumping his new lover and starting over. We are left with him starting over and viewing, not participating, in happiness. So maybe things will go better for him in the future. The ending was kind of a downer but the whole movie was entirely realistic and so I will let this real ending slip bye with a high rating.

Parting Glances (1986)

Pretty good movie

[7/10 · 18 August 2005]

This movie was about the 24 hour period of the end of one relationship, the other guy, and the kid who wants to be the new guy. I loved Kathy Kinney's character and how she had stories behind her paintings. She seemed like the average joe, trying to make a living while having a little fun. The ending was not expected and made Steve Buscemi's character look like a guy with a lot of class. Casting was great and the acting was like I was watching a normal group of people dealing with AIDS. And guess what, none of the main characters die in the movie. I felt like I could just be watching in on a real life as opposed to some scripted reality show. I'll probably like this more after I've seen it a couple of times.

Heaven's a Drag (1994)

Very Different Movie

[5/10 · 18 August 2005]

I love watching disconnected movies with parts of hilarity intersperced. However, this movie was so serious and about a guy dying from AIDS and then the hilarious things that occur as he comes back from the dead to help his lover grow up. The supporting story line was much better than the cable guy/drag queen story line. Maybe that's why I continued to watch this. I just could not get the seriousness/comedy going between the two main characters. Maybe because I know people who have AIDS and those who have died. The ending was purely GHOST and was a good ending but still, I was more interested in the relationship between the neighbor and her beau.

Latter Days (2003)

Through the ringer.

[9/10 · 30 July 2005]

I thought I died while watching this movie. I fell right for what the director/writer wanted and I thought "Don't do this, don't make this a sick ending with some introspective garbage." Instead the movie saved itself and ended solid. I have a friend whose best friend in high school killed himself after being accused of being a worthless human being for his gayness and while trying to pull a colt out of a horse, which killed both horse and colt. From a deeply religious family, he was basically shunned and ended it all at eighteen years old. It's hard to believe how stupid parents can be about a gay child. I wonder how the Mormon Church feels about this movie? Maybe not as bad as they think about Orgazmo.

The Other Sister (1999)

The wonderfully dysfunctional family.

[10/10 · 30 July 2005]

The wonderful country club mother, the alcoholic father, the gay daughter, the perfect daughter, and the mentally handicapped daughter. Poor Dianne Keaton plays the easily hate-able mother and then she gives in to let her mentally challenged daughter go to school, live on her own, and then develop sexually (not an easy thing to do with the mentally handicapped). In defense of the mother, how many people expect to have to deal with all the lunacy of children who won't do what they are expected to do? Nobody, but life throws some curves at everyone and hopefully you deal with it. What did we tell our mentally handicapped brother about sex? -NOTHING. Yet he has an imaginary girl friend that we say is always throwing beer bottles on the street. Something he gets riled up about. This is not the dysfunctional family of Jodie Foster's Home for the Holidays. This is Dianne Keaton trying to grow up and let her child go, the child she always thought she could hide, protect, and keep as a child.

All Over the Guy (2001)

May I kick the alcoholic in the butt?

[9/10 · 30 July 2005]

I believe I dated Tom (the character in the movie) for about three weeks in 1990. I believe I dropped his alcoholic butt after he made a pass at the man in the movie theater (of course they went to the bathroom), and after he introduced me to his friend as another friend. I really wanted to kick Eli in the rear for even talking to this alcoholic jerk after he's calling and telling him how sorry he is for sleeping with his umpteenth man of the hour. However, I am a man of fantasy, and there is nothing that makes a movie work better than some good ole endings with zero reality. And this show delivers a great ending and makes you feel good about Tom & Eli (haven't seen my Tom since '90, he's probably still drinking and sleeping with a different man every night). Doris Roberts and Andrea Martin make the show completely hilarious. The alternate ending wasn't as good as the original EXCEPT it may give a reason why Eli would stay with alcoholic Tom.

After Life (1998)

Is there a heaven or hell?

[10/10 · 30 July 2005]

Maybe not. According to this film we get to pick one lasting memory to last us for eternity. I can't believe how great foreign films are in getting me involved with characters when I'm only reading subtitles. There are three ladies who really made this film work for me. The lady with the red dress seems like the sweetest, kindest person in the world. She made me think of my Grandma Stell who lived with her brother until his end. The character always had a smile on her face but could never make it into a Hollywood movie where Americans are only interested in how good you look. The lady who had built her life on memories of flowers had already taken the step everyone was about to take. Then the young lady who could never recapture her mother's warmth, goes berserk in the snow scene, so upset she was going to lose the friend she had made. Maybe we can see the after, after, life to see where all souls go.

All the Rage (1997)

And another bad ending.

[7/10 · 18 April 2005]

First, I disagree with the commenter's who say this is such a bad movie with bad acting. Maybe these people never knew a screw around guy, a good time charlie, or a sorry roommate. This movie works until the ending. This screw around guy is confronted by one of his tricks who thought he was more than a trick, but he was just another lay that didn't matter. Then the screw around guy punches the trick and suddenly becomes introspective and is sorry for what he has done. What a load of bull. He was one of these jerks who wants a relationship to fill in between the gaps of tricks. The ending should have been the black girl with her new white boyfriend eating with the other gay couple and the screw around guy by himself. Or maybe the screw around guy just saw Stu talking to someone at the grocery store. Then maybe he could just think about what he threw away, instead of suddenly thinking he was a jerk because screw arounds are in for the short haul. Their regrets are few and far between and even if they felt they messed someone over, they just keep on hitting that bar scene every night. It could have ended with him just going to the bar over and over. But the black girl could have easily ended this movie with a good tone, she could have given him something to think about just by resolving her own relationship issues. I don't believe the screw around guy could ever care about the boys he kept bringing home. He just wants his cake - and eat it too!

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005)

Not as good as the first, but still good.

[7/10 · 3 April 2005]

This movie was almost as good as the first but there was a couple of failures. First, Bratt's character from the first movie is transferred, promoted, and breaks up with Gracie. They should have had him die in an accident involving Gracie. Maybe she could have tripped over him and accidentally killed him while making him some microwaveable food. But his character just needed to be eliminated some other way. Second, some of the jokes required too much thinking and didn't get much laughs. Third, when Gracie gets caught with her Boa in the boat, she should have ripped her clothes off and her falsies could have floated to the top. Fourth, when Gracie knocks the head of the Vegas FBI into the water, his blonde assistant needed to be thrown in the water by her ex-boyfriend, Jeff. Fifth, kidney punches require more than just a little walking off time.

But the movie succeeds in bringing Gracie together with her new partner and best friend - Fuller. The huge feather on the hat, flowing through the sun roof of the car, and then moving through the crowd at the boat -is totally hilarious. Bullock has always known how to use props. Diedrich Bader is hilarious in his showgirl getup. I like Fuller. I want to see Fuller and Hart in a new movie where they save Brat from being fired in his new position, and send his new girlfriend to prison. Then Gracie marries Wayne Newton in Vegas. Fuller marries Hulk Hogan, and Cheryl marries Jeff. This movie is worth watching. Not as good as the first but still worth watching.

It's in the Water (1997)

Who's the Drama Queen

[8/10 · 31 March 2005]

This movie was made with some of the best sound and print that you would expect from any movie, but is usually missing in not so mainstream gay movies. The lead actress reminded me of Sandra Bullock, something to do with her upper lip. Her mother was quite the hilarious little drama queen. The movie actually is pretty mild but contains probably the best male erotica scene of kissing that you will ever see. The female scene is better than average but not as hot as Aimee and Jaguar, which set the bar for all lesbian scenes. Of course this movie was made before Aimee and Jaguar.

The whole movie plays on all those wonderful stereotypes of gays. I loved the guy whose father sent him to therapy and the silly gay church meetings. I knew a very wealthy kid who was sent to therapy by his socially connected mother because he was gay. After about two years the therapist finally told the parents there was nothing wrong with their healthy, young, gay son but there was probably something wrong with the parents. I do believe most of backwards America started waking up when the kid with AIDS was discriminated against in Indiana. I know the Death Lady (Dr. Keubler Ross)was run out of Virginia when she tried to open an AIDS hospice for babies. And I even had an acquaintance who told me that my brother should be dead since he has AIDS.

But this movie is quite light, not deep and easily watchable by anyone. If you can't handle seeing men kiss you better go and hide. Otherwise, sit back and wonder if the lead character's husband wasn't just a little bit gay himself. No sex for six months? Please, the way he played with his hair in the reflection of the golf club makes me wonder. Especially since his wife only dated gay men.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005)

A very good Diary

[9/10 · 31 March 2005]

Several years ago the reviewers gave horrible ratings to a movie called ANNIE. What the reviewers didn't know was that the children of the world were not reading their reviews and loved the movie anyway. Box office success.

I have read a ton of terrible reviews on this movie and I must tell you, this movie is the reason I rarely take a major reviewers word for anything. This movie is a hilarious comedy, a wonderful love story, a fantastic movie with a GREAT ending. Now, if you gave this movie a bad review the only thing I can think of is you have lost all touch with the laughter in your body and you need to realize that most of us want to watch a good, happy, funny movie. If I want to watch real life, I can tune into CNN, read the paper, or just look at my own sappy troubles. This is a fantastic movie and I just love the Ike and Tina Turner joke. Watch this movie and screw those reviewer who forgot what humor is.

Baberellas (2003)

Sci-Fi Nudity Special

[7/10 · 26 March 2005]

This is a wonderful display of bust. There is more lost top nudity in this movie then you will see in any other unless you go porno. The whole movie is absurd with a funnel bra which harnesses the sexual power of one beauty and blows up a mountain. The evil alien is in search of the nexus of the sexual energy of earth. Who it is, makes the whole sci-fi spoof work. I especially liked the commercials for the droid sex machines. Mommy can I get one? Good use of computer special effects. A couple good laughs, a whole lotta skin, and yes, I watched all of the extras. To the casting calls, pool video, deleted scenes. Don't be afraid to spend some time on this movie, well, maybe just by yourself.

Green Plaid Shirt (1996)

Simple and Tough

[10/10 · 25 March 2005]

I have known three people with AIDS in my life. One was a guy who was a class ahead of me in Keokuk, Iowa, and became a model. He died in California long before the drugs were developed that could have prolonged his life. Another is my husband's best friend. He says he stopped going to funerals after the first twenty. He got to a point where he just couldn't stand another death. The last is my younger brother, who was in the wasting stages, but was reversed after receiving competent medical care. Maybe someday it will be a memory of people dying with AIDS, like the few people who remember the TB quarantine camps of America, of which my great-uncle lived in for two years before the treatment was found.

This movie works because it is so real and so sad. The ending tore me up, "and then he was gone." Now that I am watching more movies, I really like a simplistic amount of characters and the development of a few lives. This is "a" story about a man who has dealt with AIDS. Everybody has a different story to tell. This is not my story, but a real tear jerker that could have easily been any gay man's story.

2001: A Space Travesty (2000)

The Naked Gun 44 1/4 Gone Bad

[4/10 · 22 March 2005]

This movie is a stinker. And it must have been an after thought to the Naked Gun series, making this a quick buck and trying to figure out how to write out O.J. The movie starts out OK and the space travel is pretty good. But then we have Leslie Neilson destroying a room with paint that was about kindergarten level. Then we are thrown back to earth to save President Clinton and the world from some evil doers. And then we see George Bush, an opera concert and some trap doors. The songs at the opera were hilarious. That was about it. No flow, no great jokes, not worthy of being produced. The world is saved and then you kick yourself in the head for watching a movie in the IMDb bottom 50.

In the Flesh (1998)

Was that really someone acting?

[3/10 · 22 March 2005]

This movie took me a long time, or seemed like a long time to get through. I could have survived the monotones of Ed Corbin but he wasn't consistent in his blandness. I thought maybe he was supposed to have this non-act-ability quality, then I just couldn't figure out if there was any acting going on at all. Then we have the problem with the script. The ending just seemed awful convenient and should have been a little more believable. I would have enjoyed the movie IF it had a different lead actor, and if the shoot out scene in the apartment was done just a little bit better. I was kind of shocked a cop who was going to kill everyone anyway decided to cuff Corbin to his weight set and could not even do that right. Also, if someone gets punched in the face - there will be a bump, bruise or something. Why do these movies always have such a great supporting cast but not much of a lead actor? I liked the female boss cop, the characters at the bar, the sister, even the other two male cops. The other male lead was fine, especially during his straight sex scene, where he really doesn't want to be.

National Lampoon's Senior Trip (1995)

Not worthy of a National Lampoon Title

[1/10 · 9 March 2005]

This is a really, really bad movie which explains the Alan Smithee direction. The premise was good but this is a movie for children who have never seen Animal House, Airplane, or the Naked Gun. Because this movie goes nowhere fast is an understatement. The only funny scenes involved the guy from New Kids in the Hall playing with his Star Trek blow up doll. But aside from that, we have a bunch of kids drinking and puking and not much of anything else. Do not watch this movie. Even the ending was STUPID!! I still don't understand how people can make movies stink so bad. They could have had more scenes with the principal and the typing teacher but that would have involved lesser known actors so that they would have taken their clothes off. Or they could have had the students actually catch the bad congressman having sex with one of the students. I can not reiterate how awful this movie is. I sat there waiting for something funny to happen and even waited for ending hoping something would salvage this painstaking road I had wondered down. Instead I felt like I had watched a movie that will barely keep anyone's attention under the age of ten.

Man of the Year (1995)

More than just eye candy.

[8/10 · 17 February 2005]

The movie is part serious, part telling just someone's life, and part comedy. The bleached out blonde stripper is quite hilarious. Dirk has quite the body and I could probably just watch him on a modeling DVD.

The most touching part of this movie is the exposure to AIDS and death. I come from a small hometown where my Mom's best friends son became a model, moved to California, caught AIDS and died. My mother was always bashing his lifestyle of sleeping around with rich men, going with them on vacations, and the swimsuit modeling he did. But this guy's mother did everything she could for David. He gave her a $10,000 diamond before he died with his early cash-in of a life insurance policy. It was a big deal in our community that Liz Taylor had visited him on his death bed. But the best thing was that his mom visited him and was with him when he died. His mother died a few years later having buried three of her six children.

Now that my family gets to deal with my brother having AIDS I do find one valuable saying by the character playing Dirk's Mom and that is, take the time to visit, and make the time to visit.

This movie is above and beyond Circuit.