Washington's Spork town sheriff, Frank Crane, welcomes back his returning daughter, Becca. Despite obvious signs, Becca takes an unusually long time to recognise the halloween decorations up, all over. Even the odd appearances of various people, including her old friend, Jacob White, whose suddenly got canine traits (including a tail), and his odd urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, a member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton.Written by
An improvement on the previous spoofs, but not saying much
Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues – all of which collide at the prom.
VAMPIRES SUCK will surprise many people because it's an improvement over the previous spoof films directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have been churning out for the past couple of years. However, that's like saying it's the better crap of all crap. The jokes still aren't funny and the filmmakers still don't realize the difference between satirizing and copying. But I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't find some good that came out of this film because there are some improvements.
First of all, the performances are great by the two leads. In her first film, Jenn Proske does a dead on impersonation of Kristen Stewart. However, it's sad to see her in this because I think she's better than this. Matt Lanter also does a great impersonation of Robert Pattinson in his "pain" look. I don't know what made Ken Jeong come aboard the film but he's basically playing the same character in THE HANGOVER. He's not in the film that much, though. Also, I think it's pretty great that Carmen Electra isn't in here and I'm sure others will agree.
The second obvious thing that stuck out to me was that the film focused on only the first two TWILIGHT films. The filmmakers finally learned that spoofing 600 movies is a bad thing. Saying that, the film still does have the many pop culture references, some too random to comment about. Fortunately, they really did tone it down quite a bit compared to the previous films where you get one every five seconds. You probably get one every five minutes here.
I also liked the fact that it looked like an actual film because if you saw MEET THE SPARTANS and DISASTER MOVIE, you'd know the films were filled with shoddy sets made up in ten minutes. In here, you might question if they stole the sets and locations from the TWILIGHT films. I don't know if this counts as something good but I really think the film manages to create a decent storyline from the first two TWILIGHT films.
Overall, the film is still bad because it's rarely funny, although I will admit I laughed at some bits that took a jab at the TWILIGHT series. If the story is better than the jokes itself, you know you got a bad comedy. It's an improvement from the last few spoof films, but that doesn't say much. I really don't recommend seeing it at all. If you must, just rent it on DVD that will inevitably come out a month after the film is released.
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