asphyxion_ Reviews

Wounds (2019)

Masterfully crafted atmosphere conjures ceaseless tone of ominous foreboding; coherent and/or compelling narrative&char. development woefully inadequate, comparatively

[5/10 · 28 December 2020]

Excellent use of creepy/macabre motifs paired with an even more skillful use of a lean and sinister string-zested soundtrack that does an effective job at haunting the imagination and sneaking under the skin. Where the story and character development sorely lack or suffer from cliched writing, the production makes up for in smart editing and scare tactics. Wounds may lack in jump scares, but it does an excellent job at using the irksome creepy-crawliness of bugs and backsliding, crippling addiction to craft a charmingly dark and ominous tone throughout the movie that helps compel the viewer forward despite a rather abysmal script dense with one dimensional characters, obscure referencing and borderline-schizophrenic editing/post-production.

Wounds isn't much of a film to write home about and it ultimately fizzles out, feeling like nothing but a lump of purely wasted acting talent and discarded plot potential. Like many indie horror films before it, Wounds suffers from a truly engaging concept but fails to effectively execute and deliver a quality plot arch that satisfies. It's nothing more than wasted momentum enshrouded in an poorly woven tapestry of interesting ideas and badly written dialogue.

Euphoria: Trouble Don't Last Always (2020) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

"A real revolution, at its core... is spiritual"

[10/10 · 17 December 2020]

'Trouble Don't Last Always' is easily Euphoria's best episode. It's also an hour of some of the realest television one will ever watch.

Ali, Rue's sponsor, brings the episode to a fever pitch with a relentless authenticity that will rattle any viewer versed in the desiccating spiral of addiction to their viewer core. And it's simply because of the episodes magnificent writing -- writing that undoubtedly deserves some kind of "... Of The Year" award.

This episode of Euphoria isn't your standard fare: It's not chock full of hypnotic visual/aural layers, disjointed photography direction, or random dick pics (lul). Instead, we're treated to an indie-style 'My Dinner With Andre' -inspired episode of Criterion-worthy excellence, where everything on screen rides specifically on the natural dialogue that develops on screen between the two primary characters as the run time progresses. It's such a different change of pace for Euphoria--enough that it ultimately feels like an entirely different or new program.

Be forewarned: this episode of Euphoria is a literal hour of two people talking and arguing over the various nuances of living life and shared experience. It takes place in a Denny's-like mom-and-pop hole-in-the-wall dinedr and it never leaves the table except for a small 5 minute window half-way into the show that really tugs on the heart strings as the audience is given some insight into Ali (Rue's sponsor) and the pain he carries around with him every day.

There's so much to unpack in this specific episode, but the pinnacle of this particular special is Ali's razor-sharp and concise deconstruction of the millennial/post-millennial specific phenomena that is dysfunctional arrested development, and Big Industry's shameless exploitation of social justice movements and pop culture's watershed moments, like Nike's abhorrent practice of co-opting Black Lives Matter as an advertising campaign to sell overpriced shoes crafted in a sweat shop by the kinds of people these social justice movements purport to speak for.

If you've ever dealt with a serious drug addiction (like heroin), Ali's words will crackle under your skin like lightning as they effortlessly move you to tears. This is the realest hour of television you'll ever watch.

Ghoul (2018)

Genuine chills despite some tropes. Regardless, 'Ghoul' is definitely a must-see .

[8/10 · 2 November 2020]

Ghoul definitely has more than its fare share of cliches (lights out at right moment, person standing in corner facing away from camera, show person -> then pan camera to opposite side, then pan back -> show monster, etc.)

The story line had a refreshing pace and gripping narrative (story has an eastern mythology basis), but 'Ghoul' has an absolutely killer and thriller atmosphere. The setting is a fictional dystopian India future in what looks like an old cold war brig/military prison. The show has a central theme dealing with pain (physical and mental), and it does a good job conveying this with rather grim and gory motifs. Torture is also a recurring theme that helps layer the pain theme and reinforce a sense of brutality permeating the shows runtime.

'Ghoul' is a definite must-watch for most horror fans, I'm confident it will land with a majority of viewers. If you're constantly looking for newer or more obscure macabre, this is a three-episode-miniseries that deserves 2.5 of your hours.

8/10

Excision (2012)

Excellent Mainstream Transgressive Cinema

[8/10 · 13 October 2020]

Love the deftful playfulness with which such a macabre taboo is dealt. 'Excision' is an insanely smart-yet-playful romp through the synapse networks of a young girl exhibiting increasingly antisocial and morbid behaviors.

We are led to believe that Pauline's fomenting darkness is due to an evolving fascination with blood (an affinity illustrated through motifs which grow in their morbidity as Pauline's adolescent development throughout 'Excision' is propelled by her consistently grotesque dreams), as well as a desire to become a surgeon worthy of giving her ailing younger sister (who's afflicted with Cystic Fibrosis) the various organ transplants that she will inevitably need as she grows older. Juxtaposing these primary motivations is a backdrop of fluid theism (sequences of Pauline praying to a monotheistic Christian God that begin with a facetious-yet-sincere kind of on-the-fence-but-not-sure type of belief but become more and more cynically atheistic as events transpire and God seemingly ignores Pauline's supplications), and various behaviors resulting from the throws of teenage hormones.

What's best about 'Excision' is its buildup and execution of the transition into its final act. While the 65ish minutes or so of 'Excision' are a somewhat morbidly facetious kind of mockery of upper middle-class family life in suburban America, the final 10 minutes are an indelible blood-drenched portrait that is sure to disturb. Despite 'Excision's 75-80 minute run time, it is an incredibly effective and undoubtedly provocative exploration of one of the most interesting characters to come about within the horror genre in quite some time.

Not recommended for the squeamish or hemophobic. 8/10 -- refreshingly original, tastefully bloody, and effectively nihilistic in its paradoxically hopeful futility exhibited by the main character as we bear witness to her desires and dreams guiding her behavior (and the dire consequence these behaviors affect on everyone around Pauline).

Can't overstate the excellence 'Excision' brings to a smart audience craving an atypical horror movie that can deliver shock without an iota of schlock.

To the Lake (I) (2019–2022)

For fans of 'Better Than Us' and 'Sniffer'

[8/10 · 12 October 2020]

Russia's miniseries version of the everpopular 'zombie'/'infected'/'rage' subgenre of horror. Deals with the estranged family members of a father trying to keep his son, step son, ex-wife and current wife from each others throats while juggling an also-estranged drunk of a neglectful father and salacious family friend (as well as said family friend's own wife and daughter). together, this rag-tag band of unlikelies sets forth on an odyssey to the drunk father's off-the-grid refuge: a fishing boat converted into a large-scale home for any inhabitants who wish to seek sanctuary within its confines.

i mentioned 2 other russian shows in my subject line, 'Better Than Us' and 'Sniffer.' While the subject matter between each show couldn't be more drastically different, the cast in BTU and TTL sees lots of carry-over as the primary male lead (who also plays the detective with the magical nose in 'Sniffer') is played by the same guy in all three shows, as well as the actor who plays his autism-spectrumed son in TTL who happens to also play his kid in BTU. I'm not too privy to the ins and outs of Russian television, but it doesn't seem like the actor-pool is very big when it comes to the better projects of its television culture., hence the identical carry over for acting in each show. However, it is definitely interesting seeing the different family dynamics betweeen multiple characters who play the same roles in different shows together, despite the characters in these roles being drastically different from each other.

While the story is addicting (despite its bountiful tropes and cliches) and the characters charming, there's plenty in the show to find fault with. It's just not that original in terms of story--the Siberian setting is the only thing truly separating it from its Western contemporaries. Not to mention, the child with Aspergers who is supposedly on the autism spectrum does a rather terrible job at acting like he genuinely has Aspergers. The writers of the show can obviously be seen using the trait of Aspergers as a sort of 'magical device' that gives one of the primary characters a means to always have the right answer just at the right time when such an answer is needed to propel the narrative forward. It's definitely sloppy and uninformed character development, but it's easy to forgive when you're constantly inundated with the dead-still, breathtakingly gorgeous Siberian backdrop of arctic-like snowfall and tundras pervading Russia's deep country, away from the urban pollution of Moscow and other like population centers.

Still, To The Lake is a highly recommended watch for fans of the 'infected' horror subgenre, as well as being an excellent starting place for those curious about the kind of potential that Russian tv has in store for it. Be sure to also check out 'Better Than Us' and 'Sniffer,' as mentioned earlier.

The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

One of those very rare occassions when the subject of time dilation is handled with cogent finesse.

[8/10 · 12 October 2020]

As cliche as this utterance may sound, 'Bly Manor' is a different kind of horror story. It's not about the actual haunting of a building, but instead is more about the haunted and tortured existences of said structure's inhabitants as they move about their day-to-day in what quickly becomes a recognizable exercise in utter futility.

'Bly Manor' has several strong points when compared to its popular genre contemporaries. It has very strong writing going for it, with a script that effortlessly propels the viewer forward down a wormhole of past, present, and future without leaving the viewer in what often feels like a delirious state of annoyed confusion whenever this kind of subject is broached in other American productions. 'Lost' definitely comes to mind here.

I've seen numerous complaints about the shows incoherence and supposed snail-like pacing, and I honestly couldn't disagree with these remarks more vehemently. I found the show to be absolutely compelling, especially after the fifth episode when we are made privy to Hannah Grose's dreamscape and the existential truths that this episode elucidates to the viewer about the character's current predicaments at Bly Manor. There's a massive amount of time-warp in the fifth episode--such an amount that it would usually destroy the narrative consistency of any other show due to the inherently confusing nature of time travel itself--and yet it ends up being one of the show's powerhouse episodes, not to mention one of the show's most satisfying episodes in terms of character/story development. It's also done in such an exquisitely coherent manner that the viewer doesn't feel as though they have a massive migraine/hangover once the episode's credits roll.

Bly Manor is a measly 9 episodes, but still every bit as satisfying as Netflix's other more fleshed-out horror shows. While the show has nary a drop of gore, or a single jump-scare to startle the viewer, it is still plenty terrifying as the tumult of each denizen's individual dramas coalesce into a sort of rabid, frenzied crescendo comprised of the kind of pain and darkness that tends to foment broken homes and traumatized souls. It's a much more personal kind of horror, and the show touches upon each individuals story with great impact to create a woven tapestry of domestic terror that is extremely effective and certainly disturbing. 'Bly Manor' has no need for jump scares, as it is a masterclass in ominous foreboding and dread, illustrated most clearly in the episode that introduces the Lady of the Lake and here influence on why these inhabitants of the manor are seemingly doomed forever.

The Paramedic (2020)

excellent first two acts completely obliterated by terrible finale

[4/10 · 22 September 2020]

What can i say? an excellent, tantalizing creep-fest dripping with a somewhat subtle sense of ominous dread during the first 60-70% of the movie. i'd say it's rather equivalent to the netflix series 'You' in terms of creating an anti-hero that you can't help but feel sympathy for despite the obvious rapid evolution in said anti-hero's moral decay. the film does a great job at piling on the indignities upon the main character in such a way that when he finally snaps, you experience a kind of definite catharsis within your schadenfreude after you sense that it's finally time for the main character to experience a small, sweet taste of justice.

unfortunately, what starts out as a magnificent, white-knuckle build up boiling over with myriad possibilities at just how our main character can taste revenge, it devolves into some yawn-inducing, cringe-worthy orgy of cliches that has our dark and brooding anti-hero collapsing into some whiny craven shell of a man that plays out like an entirely uninteresting and horribly dull shade of Norman Bates.

a definite skip, unless you enjoy pointless time sinks and the bleak, sinking feeling of utter disappointment and compounded aggravation exacerbated by idiotic character behaviors/poor writing/just plain ol' terribad movie logic.

Watch 'You' on Netflix instead, or the Korean revenge-horror film Bedeviled (not only is it an epic revenge film akin to other genre greats like 'The Piper', it's a surprise splatterfest damn sure guaranteed to sate any revengenerd/gorehounds cinematic bloodlust).

Mirrors (I) (2008)

An appallingly abysmal, incoherently nonsensical remake of a South Korean masterpiece

[4/10 · 10 August 2020]

Do yourself a favor and just look up all of the violence from 2008's 'Mirrors' on youtube, instead of wasting 110 minutes of your precious time on what I consider to be one of the greatest injustices done to a remake the horror genre has ever had to suffer through.

What separates the South Korean film from the Hollywood remake are three central plot themes: 1.) the mythological belief that mirrors are a reflective portal containing not only an alter ego but an alternate timeline which both coexist in tandem with the real, physical self and one's presently occupied timeline. 2.) the driving antagonistic force serving as the crux of the entire story where one sister suffers a psychotic break due to the violent death of her identical twin, and then subsequently 'adopts' her dead twin's personality (as best as she can remember her twin's personality, anyway) leading to a severe case of latent schizophrenia 3.) the whole reason our protagonist became a security officer for a derelict department megastore is massively butchered in the Hollywood remake: there's no personal, emotional catalyst for why the mirrors start screwing with Ben like there is in the South Korean remake: In the hollywood version, the mirrors are housing a demonic entity seeking revenge on its 12 year old female human host that had it exorcised and trapped in the department store mirror. In the South Korean version, Woo Yeong-min (Ben's SK counterpart) has an extreme psychological aversion to mirrors due to an extreme guilt-driven PTSD--the genesis of which is caused by Yeong-min failing to save his partner's life when he's taken hostage at gunpoint; Yeong-min accidentally shoots the reflected manifestation of his partner's captor in the nearby mirror instead of shooting the flesh-and-blood manifestation of the abductor in the head after failing to recognize that he was looking at a mirrored reflection instead of the the real thing on the opposite side of the room. This lack of situational awareness and the resulting murder of Yeong-min's partner at the hands of a criminal he failed to shoot to save his partner's life drives Yeong-min into a severe depression and forces him to fog up mirrors with his breath whenever he's forced to be in front of one (like at a urinal) because he has such self-loathing that he can't stand to look at his own reflection.

Whereas 'Mirrors' has a completely unsatisfying ending due to the horrible plot changes causing disparate narrative threads that don't weave a cohesive story by the time the credits are rolling, 2003's 'Into the Mirror' from South Korea weaves a fascinatingly cogent story about scizophrenia, phobias of reflective surfaces, and a quantum physics-influenced idea of parallel dimensions of existence/consciousness that doesn't lag or struggle to explain what the main character is seeing and thinking when he's staring into the reflective window of the building outside in the final seconds of the movie. 'Mirrors' does nothing whatsoever to explain what Sutherland is seeing in the film's final moments, nothing about the reflected personality vs. real-world personality and the variables that orchestrate their states of existence--the only time 'Mirrors' ever really touches on this thread is when it's ripping off the most recognized quote from 'Into the Mirror' half-way into the film when Sutherland is told about 2 Worlds, 2 Egos and the violent hatred necessary for their catalyst. The hollywood version is a vapid brainfart of an infuriating mess while the South Korean version is an existential mind-warp that effortlessly leaves the viewer with an unsettling philosophical possibility about the nature of reality in relation to our vain obsession with mirrors

tl;dr: 'mirrors' from 2008 blows chunks. spend your 110 minutes watching 2003's 'into the mirror' from south korea instead, for a much more lucid, clear and refreshingly inventive story on homicidal reflections that has since been copied and rehashed over the last two decades in western movies so much that it's now become a genre trope.

Underworld (2003)

For fans of Gun Fu actioneering & Gothic setpiecing, but a massive disappointment for vampyrism/lycanthropy lore purists

[6/10 · 11 June 2020]

If you like your cinematography dark and Gothic like an Alex Proyas(sp?) film ala The Crow/Dark City, Underworld will most likely enthrall and hypnotize you with its gorgeous direction of photography, crafted set pieces and location shots. However, lore and mythology purists/for hards will be sorely disappointed as Underworld's creative screenplay leaves a hell of a lot to be desired when it comes to the established historicity revolving around vampyrism and lycanthropic legends: Neither species behaves or functions within their common frameworks in the Underworld cinematic universe, but instead follow their own physical laws/principles that are largely alien to established norms. Daylight doesn't exist here, regenerative powers are nonexistent or skewed or swapped entirely, lycans were actually slaves and day wardens of slumbering vampires (in spite of a total seeming lack of sunlight in the world), and everyone moves like spider-man caught in wire fu rendering of crouching tiger hidden dragon.

Fans of slow motion Gun play and black leather gothism will have no problems enjoying Underworld. It's an easy to follow story with enough originality to separate it from other genre Mainstays and the actors do a great job bringing their respective species to life on screen. But this is no Blade trilogy, or the likes of The Howling or Silver Bullet or American Werewolf--mythos purists will probably cry outright at the complete disconnect from the troves of established vampyric/lycanthropic lore in the literary and cinematic spheres (although the future Underworld sequels remedy some of these more glaring faults), and watching alongside one of your nerdy purists friends will most likely result in a ruined viewing experience when they bake nonstop at all the inconsistencies they'll recognize after failing to suspend their disbelief when you warm then at the film's start that this ain't their typical vampyr/lycan flick.

I think underworld deserves to be seen alongside the Blade trilogy so if you're fans of everyone's favorite marvel daywalking katana weilding demigod, you'll definitely acclimate to Serene and her Gothic romps though the lands of perpetual nightfall.

Excellent midnight blood romp for any Gothic action fan of Blade/The Crow/Dark City. Just don't expect the film to do your deep understanding of mythos and lore any kind of respectably satisfactory justice.

A Sound of Thunder (2005)

B-movie romp through 1950's sci-fi schlockdom

[7/10 · 26 April 2020]

This movie has all the hallmarks of a so-bad-its-amazing sci-fi b-movie destined for the MST3000 screen.

I found this movie on my parent's DVD shelf, unopened and covered in dust, with a Walmart bargain-bin $1.99 sticker on it. Given the fact that my parents made the switch to BluRay a decade ago and haven't bought a film(let alone a DVD) in person since ~2006 (thanks to Amazon Prime and BestBuy Online), I could only figure that my mom purchased this some 14 or 15 years ago, and most likely only bought it because of Ben Kingsley's name being attached to the product.

I saw the SCI-FI plastered all across the DVD case and read the Journey to the Center of the Earth/Butterfly Effect-fusion of a plot in the story outline of the back of the case and decided that i definitely had to give this a spin in my computer's dvd-rom optical drive (something that hasn't gotten much use since the era of Crysis over a decade ago). I never saw the 4.2 IMDb score, because I was afraid that if I looked up this movie on here then I wouldn't watch it because I was sure it was going to be panned. I was right.

The film itself is a steaming pile. But it's got all the makings of a cult classic steaming pile. The premise and then set designs are actually excellent, married only by the GOD AWFUL cgi that litters half of the movie's screen space, since it looks like At least 50% of the film is shot in front of a green screen. The dialogue is third rate and the character logic is abysmal (why would you only use cryo weapons that fire ice bullets, when you could take a simple Zippo lighter and just set the poisonous-thorned brambles and vines on fire? And why wouldn't you shoot the baboon-lizard hybrids in their gigantic, 180-degree open maws when they are roaring straight at you instead of waiting and praying for a clean shot at their unarmored necks?), and the plot is a hackneyed and cliched mess. Despite its glaring flaws, however, the movie was still an easy watch that felt like it moved along quicker than its stated runtime. Despite its schlockiness, I actually enjoyed myself and watching the wooden lead character battle against the ripple effects of chaos theory.

I gave it 7/10 because this is low rent b-movie excellence. If you don't have a stick lodged up in you like the professional critics who slammed this film with a 24%metacritic (because they obviously were expecting a Nolan-esque Interstellar twin), you'll enjoy this low rent experience, too. Wo0t for b-films!!1

The Plagues of Breslau (2018)

Whoever said this is better than Fincher's Se7en in their review is out of their mind

[5/10 · 23 April 2020]

This movie is a see-it-once-and-forget popcorn movie flick decent for a weekend midnight viewing. But it's entirely forgettable and has none of the masterwork that went into Finch's FAR SUPERIOR crime thriller. In fact, Plagues of Breslau ripped almost all of its plot elements off from Se7en, including the methodical-killer-working-off-a-bullet-point-list-of-pious-morals-which-inspires-all-of-their-murders. Hell, the movie even ends with a 'shock reveal' head-in-the-box climax that showed 0 ingenuity in writing. It was predictable as hell about 30 minutes in and it was very easily guessed who the killer was (dead giveaway when they show the forensic investigation of the second plague scene with the guy ripped apart by horses).

this movie serves up plenty of gore with mainstream sensibilities, including a rather graphic autopsy scene after the intrudoctory murder. what really makes Breslau different than Se7en, however, is the EXTREME UNLIKEABILITY of the two women who are investigating the crimes. yeah yeah, trauma-and-ptsd-from-the-death-of-a-loved-one-and-unfair-life-circumstances are supposed to explain to us why these two women are the two most unlikeable females on the planet. they're gruff with raspy batman voices and the cliche omniscience that gives them an Adrian Monk-like ability to figure stuff out on the spot. The idea for the plot was interesting but ultimately the execution was just BAD. 5 stars is more than enough for this highly forgettable, cookie cutter gore-thriller.

If you actually want a movie that's similar to Se7en and much better than Plagi Breslau, give the 1999 Korean gore-thriller 'Tell Me Something' a watch instead. Plagi Breslau is an easy skip (but also an easy watch if you have a free 90 mins to spare). 5/10

Color Out of Space (2019)

As terrifying as it is beautiful, 'Color Out of Space' is an orgasmic feast for the senses

[10/10 · 14 April 2020]

'Color Out of Space' is absolutely extraordinary. The average 6.2 IMDB rating is a travesty--COoS is worth, at a minimum, an average of 7.5-8 stars. What the 'Mandy' team pulled off with this HPL adaptation is phenomenal, and the production values are a top-notch effort at bringing the lyrical terror of the HPL story to life.

Nicolas Cage's acting is a bipolar rollercoaster and probably COoS's biggest flaw in an otherwise consistently mesmerizing movie. The first and third(final) acts of the film are where Cage's acting is strongest. The intermediate act before Cage and his family fully devolve into madness is definitely Cage's weakest part of the whole film. He has this bizarre east coast accent that almost sounds feminine (probably as a way to mock Lavinia?) and it just sounds cringeworthy and unbelievable. Apart from Cage, I felt that the supporting actors did a great job at their consistency and presented a rather believable spiral into madness.

The movie is somewhat ambiguous in its explanation for what actually happens, so I'll give you my interpretation of what happens: The rock is the fragment of a star that has gone supernova somewhere in the galaxy, and it lands in their backyard before it goes full quasar. The massive energy from this star fragment is responsible for the radiation contaminating everything, and since we've never actually been able to experiment what the effects of such an energy source would have on human beings due to the impossibility of orchestrating such an experiment, the scriptwriters were given a huge amount of creative licensing to create their own possible scenarios. In the case of COoS, it's an atomic quantum nightmare from the cosmos.

The film itself is somewhat of a slowburn, but the payoff is stunning. The last 20ish or so minutes of the film are searing, and the Alpacas and Lavinia's Mother will probably prove to be two indelible elements from this film that you'll never forget.

Worth watching. If you do it baked off a good sativa or indica at midnight with sound cranked up and lights turned off, I can guarantee you will have one of the best fright night movie experiences of 2020.

BuyBust (2018)

Johnnie To's "Drug War" (2012) meets Gareth's "The Raid" (2011) in a Philippines narco-addled slumland

[6/10 · 8 April 2020]

Excellent little low budget action flick out of SEA that's heavy on the octane and light on the social commentary. Obvious digitization of effects and several choreographed fight sequences that are improperly filmed (angles reveal punches not landing and lack of actual strength going into strikes, so some of the melee shots look more like limp noodle fights lol) amid a script that has its fair share of hackneyed dialogue is ultimately the straw that breaks BuyBust's back and prevents it from standing tall against the more well-known genre greats. Despite the film's obvious budgetary constraints and seemingly novice continuity errors, it's still a fantastic piece of low budget cinema that is definitely worth watching for fans of foreign crime/action drama.

Maniga is one attractive pinay with an athletic build and a fiery temperament--the result of an angst-riddled mindset molded by previous career-related trauma--that fits the character of her lead role perfectly. Supporting cast is largely forgettable aside from a very select few figures, like the Dwayne Johnson/Dave Bautista pinoy clone with the bottlecap charm that plays her main partner throughout a majority of the movie. Apart from the cast, the insanely claustrophic corridors of the Gracia favela that BuyBust takes place in helps immensely with ratcheting up the movie's tension and is partially reminiscent of the famous elevator/hallway scene from 2003's "Oldboy." The hordes of pissed off civilians killing both gangster and cop alike also add to Maniga's predicament and helps keep the movie's primary nemesis (Biggie Chen) from getting too stale or annoying to tolerate. It's a fresh rotating marquee of danger from all angles for Maniga and her squad and it helps the audience commiserate with the sense of helplessness that permeates the length of the movie as night turns to day in Maniga's odyssey into a drug-fueled inferno as she fights tooth and nail to stay alive.

If you like Korean action flicks like Man From Nowhere or Indonesian action flicks like The Night Comes For Us or better yet, Vietnam's "Furie," you will definitely get a kick or two out of BuyBust and should watch it on Netflix at least once.

A solid 6/10!

Svaha: The Sixth Finger (2019)

Thought provoking masterpiece; philosophically engaging and metaphysically cogent, 'Svaha' is an indelible piece of powerful cinema.

[10/10 · 25 March 2020]

6.2??!! Such a low rating for what is undoubtedly the most important and reinvigorating horror-genre offering since 'The 6th Sense.' I know 10/10 reviews are easy to ignore for the glaring bias they wear on their sleeves and their usual (in)capacity for analysis/critique on the film at hand. But I can't help that this almost-entirely unknown Korean occult thriller is possibly the best 'horror' movie I've ever watched.

The film is expertly layered. While seemingly disparate and disjointed at first, the eventual coalescing of narratives towards the end creates an unforgettable mind-blowing plot climax that, in not so subtle ways, turns the morality and metaphysical meandering expressed by the characters completely around in the last thirty minutes of this two hour slowburning masterpiece.

'Svaha' is the kind of intellectually stimulating mystery that comes around and gets its due recognition once in a generation. What starts out as a supremely grim and foreboding horror story slowly unravels it's threads after doing a deftful job of conjuring what is probably one of, if not THE, most tantalizing and discomforting clouds of atmospheric dread mounted on the big screen since William Friedkin blessed us with The Exorcist. What starts out as a clearly defined set of Good and Evil characters--and their likewise motivations--slowly morphs into an engaging visual essay on viewing morality through the lens of balance instead of human emotion or tradition scripture; these traditional Judeo-Christian/Postmodern(seemingly contradictory, I know) concepts of right and wrong get run through the Boddhisatva ringer as the wool is pulled from our eyes and the scales fall. What we are ultimately left with is one of the most memorable conclusions to a plot arc I've ever seen on film.

Unfortunately, not all viewers feel the way about The Sixth Finger that I do. I'm utterly amazed at the low scores that nagged about the plot's 'ultimate incoherence' or 'lack of real direction.' These negative comments couldn't be further from reality than they already are. The story wraps up in an arresting, lyrical fashion that almost gives the viewer a sense of genuine epiphany on the nature of eschatology, not to mention a heartfelt concern for the characters openly seeking salvation after realizing the true nature of their 'faith based acts' and how it upended the lives and fates of all involved.

While Svaha is billed as a horror film, I liken it more to an Occult Mystery/Thriller since the horror elements rapidly disipate after the first half hour of run time. The religious and philosophy deep dives substitute ominous string music as the film goes from horror, to forensics, to religious occult mystery in the blink of an eye.

To describe Svaha is to spoil it; it has to be experienced without preconceptions or subjective thoughts. But bottom line: it HAS to be experienced. Genre fans looking for that long-sought-after intellectual psycho-horror should look no further than Svaha. And brush up on the tenants of the major and minor schools of Buddhism while you're at it. It will markedly improve your ability to string together the ideas explored in Svaha, making them much easier to digest if you're a layman to the whole "religious beliefs" thing.

I hope Svaha reaches a wider audience and moves away from being an unknown cult horror classic. It deserves to be seen and taken seriously in its thematic endeavors. It's one of the most emotionally invested scripts I've seen in a Korean movie and IMO puts The Wailing's hamfisted attempt at creating an ambiguous ending to near-total shame. This is a horror movie with serious questions and even more serious answers, and we lowly viewers will undoubtedly get those answers eventually when the film finally peaks at its apex.

5/5 -- 10/10 -- A+ This is what a religious horror centered around faith-disillusionment and Buddhist ideals would look if Terrence Mellnick directed a philosophical horror film' (Thin Red Line has its utterly horrifying moments, like seeing the young landmine victims in the bush for the first time). Must watch for all horror buffs and Korean Cinema gurus!! Take a break from the gore-gasboard slashers and give your brain some exercise instead 👍

Paradise PD (2018–2022)

The only animated show that can compete with South Park

[10/10 · 6 March 2020]

Paradise PD is undoubtedly the second best animated American adult cartoon out there. People liken it to Brickleberry because of the animation and creators involved, but the content is vastly more offensive and executed with a near-flawless comedic timing that Brickleberry, Family Guy, and most other transgressive animated shows only dream of achieving.

It's absolutely hysterical and it will have you nostalgic for those days when South Park was effortlessly bulldozing television's taboos and riling up all of the politically correct censorship groups campaigning for Matt and Trey's heads hoping to put them on a stick at the city gates.

We've obviously come a long way since the 90's since most people won't blink at the type of offensive comedy that Paradise PD spits out with machine gun rapidity, but if it was two decades ago when American networks were experimenting with the idea of expanding adult animation outside of The Simpsons, it would have easily landed on Comedy Central and subsequently been the center of its own salacious media storm targeted by the PC police.

It's juvenile, it's disgusting, it's every kind of phobic you can imagine, and if it could spit in your eye and evacuate down your throat as a way of saying "Thanks for watching," it would do it with a Cheshire smile and without so much as batting a single wink of an eye.

My favorite character is the senile gay cop who makes Herbert the Pervert look like Mr. Rogers. Favorite episode, probably the one where the entire force and town gets hooked on china white heroin when the local chef accidentally uses a stolen ki of powdered heroin from the police evidence locker as flour for his fried chicken recipe, which he then sells obliviously to everyone who then hilariously become relentless dope fiends that need a steady supply of his chicken to fend off withdrawal and depression.

Every episode's plot line is ridiculous and pokes fun at just about every serious and painful subject imaginable, and that's part of the magic of Paradise PD. The best way to confront and deal with life's absurdities and travesties is to couch them in nihilistic, ridiculous comedy so that they lose their ability to inflict more pain. This show is medicine and Season 2 just dropped on Netflix, so spend your Friday binge watching PPD and have a couple blunts and some shots ready. Best viewed while under the influence ;)

Hotel Inferno (2013)

Innovative indie horrorcore with serious style and vision

[6/10 · 21 February 2020]

Hotel Inferno has massive faults, let's not kid ourselves. It's get terrible foley work, audio dubbing, abysmal dialogue, overacted death sequences, satirical levels of gore (which combined with the overacted death/combat sequences creates an extreme sense of low-budget campy shlock) and pacing that could have been drastically improved with improved editing. But for all of it's flaws, Hotel Inferno is a hell of a horror film that shows glimpses of what it could have been were it put in more capable hands and with a better budget.

Hotel Inferno is like a cross between Hardcore Henry, Doom/Painkiller, Smokin' Aces (but in reverse (imagine it as Buddy Israel trying to escape from the penthouse and going through the hotel floor by floor engaging in CQC with the hitters contracted to kill him, instead of the hitters trying to infiltrate the hotel floor by floor to make it to the top to kill Buddy Israel)), Dante's Inferno, Grotesque, and the Japanese Guinea Pig/American Guinea Pig series.

There's an absurd amount of blood, gore, viscera and violence. Much of the violence is very obviously digitally edited, but there's also a bucket load of practical FX which are actually quite impressive compared to a lot of the type of ridiculous stuff you often find in most 'transgressive' cinema movies like Visceral, ReGOREgitated Sacrifice, Serbian Film, August Underground,Todesking, Schramm, Necromantik, Begotten, films by Marian Dora, et al. etcetera etcetera. Unlike those previous movies though, Hotel Inferno has a very video game-like presentation, execution, and narrative. It's all done entirely in the first person like Doom, Painkiller, Agony or even the Outlast games, and much like those various titles it's about a person engaging hordes of hitmen/grunts/demonic entities/zombies/monsters/eldritch terrors and trying to survive them as said person makes their way out of the hotel they find themselves trapped in after a contract doesn't go at all as initially planned.

Despite the poor dialogue and bad accents, Hotel Inferno is an addictive watch because it shows a lot of great potential and much of the gore and effects are definitely adequate enough to sate any true gorehound's cinematic bloodlust. This is the type of bloodfest you invite your friends to watch with you, and unlike films like Visceral or Serbian Film where there's aberrant sexual behavior involved, you don't have to feel weird or awkward at what you're watching around other people. There's an excellent shotgun sequence at the 50-51 minute mark of the movie as well as a lore/exposition monologue in the 'Room of Flies' shortly after at the ~53 minute mark that are two of the most memorable parts of the film and will definitely have you and your peeps talking about them long after the movie is over.

6/10, looking forward to the sequel and honestly I'd like to see this same movie done by a studio with a bigger budget and a better script. It's definitely aching for that Triple AAA high-dollar indie treatment, and in the right hands this could be horrorcore's answer to everything Hardcore Henry failed to deliver (as dope as Hardcore Henry may be, i think most of us wish it was a tad more 'hardcore' and would live up to its titular adjective).

Hunters (2020–2023)

Negative reviews about race obviously didn't watch it

[8/10 · 21 February 2020]

My initial review left people hitting that neg button because I accurately pointed out the typical hysteria that the rightwing anti-social justice anti-politically correct crowd inundate modern releases with whenever non-whites are elevated cinematically and nazis are showcased as the evil sadistic pieces of refuse that they were. good, keep negging me :D i'm glad to offend your delicate sensibilities.

and the liberals are supposed to be the snowflakes..LOL, want to see a snowflake, just play one of the new Star Wars movies to the r/the_donald or any trump or right wing subreddit and watch the tears FLOOD

Year of the Dragon (1985)

Obscure Oliver Stone-scripted crime epic that sits in my top 5 crime movies of the 1980-1990 decade

[8/10 · 17 February 2020]

Oliver Stone gives us another gritty, seedy underworld caper rich in culture and unfettered criminality. It's also one of the first films to acknowledge the true origins of organized crime and how it was the Chinese with the Heaven and Earth Society who essentially invented the paramilitary top-down pseudo-corporation format that modern organized crime groups structure their endeavors around. It's a deeply fascinating foray into a rarely-explored section of global crime syndicates despite the fact that Chinese organized crime is not only the wealthiest of all global criminal organizations but also the most prolific and also the least visible. And that's all by purposeful design on behalf of these syndicates--the smart hustlers will do everything in their power to remain obscured in the shadows while wielding all of the true power, authority and wealth that their businesses generate for them. Year of the Dragon creates a mesmerizing narrative that turns the Triads into a monolithic entity that one single headstrong, stubborn cop (Rourke) refuses to quit persecuting despite the entirety of the rest of all law enforcement in his region warning him and ultimately stopping him at all costs due to political graft and backroom deals where money trades hands and the gangs by protection. Year of the Dragon essentially becomes a David and Goliath criminal parable where Rourke is David and the Triads are the seemingly insurmountable Goliath.

Ignore all of the political correctness surrounding the film's 'offensive' dialogue and innuendo. It's authentic and accurate, and the fact that Stone seamlessly blends American English with mainland Cantonese/Mandarin enriches 'Year's' atmosphere and air of authenticity even more. It's near-flawless as far as 80's criminal epics go and even 35 years later in the year 2020 it stands the test of time on both of its feet with a strong stature that isn't going to wane anytime soon. If you liked Scarface, Year of the Dragon is your kind of flick.

my favorite 5 1980-1990 crime movies (no particular order):

1. year of the dragon (1985) 2. scarface (1983) 3. king of new york (1990) 4. to live and die in l.a. (1985) 5. manhunter (1986)

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Embodies Hollywood's rampant decay; highly indicative of American Mainstream Cinema's most glaring flaws

[1/10 · 16 February 2020]

There's absolutely nothing memorable or satisfying in the latest Terminator offering; what we're given is a souless husk of a movie that is devoid of any real inspiration. The days of practical effects requiring make up artists and sfx producers to stay on their toes and invent new ways to blow an audience's mind have been replaced with computer users rendering low resolution CGI in Maya or Adobe with no concept of the laws of physics or cohesive/mellifluous film editing. It's an insult to the price paid for a ticket in this day and age when the special effects in the latest Terminator movie can't hold a candle to the effects from Judgement Day. In the days of near-supercomputing-capable PCs with processing power several hundred times stronger than the computers used to process Judgement Day's cgi, would make you believe that the effects we see on screen should look so cohesive and real that it would be impossible and imperceptible to the human eye to tell the difference between pseudo and actual. Instead, we are denched head-to-toe in low-rent CGI that's actually comically bad and palm-facingly phony/unconvincing, which breaks any possible immersion almost entirely. The only thing saving Dark Fate is a mind-blowing object-mapped ATMOS soundtrack..the audio is jaw-dropping. But as they often say: " no matter what, you can't spit shine a turd"

The Hunted (2003)

"The Most Dangerous Game," flipped on its axis

[7/10 · 6 February 2020]

BDT and TLJ are both in top form here. Del Toro gives us prescient glimpses of 'Sicario,' while Jones serves us up a two-finger shot of his 'US Marshalls' character with a sort of 'Life Below Zero' twist added to the rim of the glass.

The Hunted is clearly inspired by the famous short story, "The Most Dangerous Game." However, Hunted manages to flip "The Most Dangerous Game" on its axis by giving us a primally brutal wolf fight between two alphas instead of TMDG's original novel of helpless souls wandering into a rich psychopath's well-placed bear trap. This time around, it's not an expert killer hunting down a fatigued cast-away with no combat experience but instead two special-operations-capable-veterans-turned-bushcraft-survivalists testing each other's capabilities and prowess to their absolute limits.

But there's also a little more complexity to The Hunted than just a life or death versus match between two hardened soloists in the bush. The movie also explores the horrors of war on the psyche, the way such unbridled brutality erodes even the soundest of minds when time progresses, and how PTSD can deconstruct a person at their very core.

This movie is harrowing at some points, particularly during the war crime flashbacks that are absolutely barbaric like the desecration of skeletons and mass Graves being filled with groups of living prisoners who are than obliterated at point blank with M249 SAWs weilded by laughing guerilla fighters.

There's a thick air of tension that runs through the entirety of the film's run time, something I would largely attribute to three things: it's realistic, intense violent subject matter; it's lack of a consistent music score flooding the speakers every five minutes and sparse dialogue; it's setting mostly taking place in the desolate bush. It's quiet, lethal and bloody--just like BDT's sadistic knife weilding character.

The Hunted is a unique action movie that deserves your time. Its pacing is slow and methodical, purposefully scripted as such to match the film's title no doubt. The slow burn of the story and the film's execution is almost reminiscent of a 70s film before massive explosions and ridiculous, cheesy one liners from steroided freaks took the genre over; back when movies were smarter and crafted with more earnest and inspiration. It's also a recommended watch if you're into Bushcraft survivalism or military drama--much of The Hunted feels like you're watching the first day of SERE school when you're being dropped into the forest.

7/10, one of BDT and TLJ's best.

Officer Downe (2016)

Orgasm Counter, 16 and Counting

[7/10 · 6 February 2020]

Seeing the snob-jobs at Variety and AV Club rip this movie apart with their oblivious snark and condescension absolutely tickles the hair on my low-hanging cajones. These dolts went into this film and took it seriously for it's entire running time -- something that the film itself doesn't even bother to do (take itself seriously, that is). Officer Downe isn't supposed to make you exercise your mental faculties and explore your human condition with existentialist philosophy or nihilistic dialogue; it doesn't even pretend to be some symbolic, cinematic treatise on the nature and duality of good/evil and criminality. What it DOES do is embrace it's b-movie, grindhouse graphic novel roots with effortless hilarity as it inundates the viewer with some of the most ridiculous imagery and primal behavior imaginable in a mainstream release.

Kim Coates is a cunnilingus master who spends as much time between his trophy girlfriends legs as he does playing Highlander on the streets of LA, racking up bad guys' bodies and absorbing bullets due to his immortality. The fact that critics couldn't catch on to the inherent action-movie satire dripping from every frame in this movie--especially after seeing It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia waxing criminality in an Australian accent with a pornstar nun--further proves that there's merit to the saying, 'too smart for your own good.'

If you liked Happy! With Christopher Meloni, you'll love Officer Downe (and vice versa, if you liked Officer Downe, you'll love Happy! With Christopher Meloni). I also recommend catching the single-season one-hit wonder of a show 'Blood Drive' from SyFy Network if you liked Officer Downe.

This is mindless blood, boobage and barbarism, and oh boy is it just delicious. Check it out on Netflix today if you are capable of removing the stick from your supine orifice and embrace the pandering toxic masculinity and mindless self-indulgence Officer Downe serves up on a golden platter.

7/10

Snatch (2000)

The 'professional' critics have NO clue ... Snatch is one of the Crime genre's greatest films ever produced

[9/10 · 5 February 2020]

The 55 metacritic score is an affront to the truth: Snatch is cinematic greatness, and it deserves a spot on the top shelf of any individual who considered themselves to be a genuine cinephile.

The editing and camera work really elevate Snatch above Richie's other popular comedy-crime movies like Lock, Stock and Rocknrolla. But it's also the satirical spirit of Snatch that propels the narrative along at a pace and execution that turns the typical 'diamond-heist-gone-fubar' story into an unforgettable 100 minute black-comedy dive into London's criminal underworld.

The intersecting story lines and screwball characters in serious situations gives Snatch an almost Tarantonian quality to the whole thing. Every character is memorable, from Pitt's indecipherable Mickey the Pikey lead down to the Gypsy dog who swallowed his chew toy whole and squeaks constantly when barking. Of particular note is Brick Top, who does a fantastic job at being a greasy, mean, nasty villainous S.O.B. that enjoys chopping up and feeding his competition to his pig farm swine--he makes it easy to hate him, and he does it perfectly.

Snatch is one of the most rewatchable movies around. I've seen it a good 70 or so times since I bought it on DVD nearly 2 decades ago.

If you like Tarantino movies, enjoyed Lock, Stock, or dig british/foreign crime film in general, you're going to be charmed by Guy Ritchie's masterpiece. See it now, if you haven't already.

The Thing (I) (2011)

Supremely disappointing; you'll leave feeling cheated once the credits roll.

[4/10 · 16 January 2020]

Not a prequel. Not a sequel. Just an extremely bad, near shot-for-shot remake of Carpenter's penultimate, mainstream masterpiece (his ultimate masterpiece being the lesser-known cult classic 'Prince of Darkness,' IMO).

What made the original Thing so effective was the bone-chilling practical effects and their precision marriage to animatronic + stop-motion techniques. The original's ability to bring real brick-and-mortar makeup effects to the screen with zero help from computers, and have them look incredibly real, is what makes the original Thing such an exquisite piece of science-fiction horror (ala Scott's 'Alien').

With this self-proclaimed sequel, we are inundated with smarmy CGI pablum and gross repetition of visuals. In the original Thing, we see different degrees of the alien's shapeshifting abilities. In this sorry excuse for a prequel, we're constantly forced to endure the same multi-limbed fleshy mass with none of the shapeshifting terror that allowed the tension in the original to feel so palpable. What we're ultimately left with is a bunch of not-so-pretty visuals that do absolutely nothing to build any tension, because once you see Thing for the first time in this movie, you've essentially seen Thing for the last time in this movie.

It's nothing like the original, where we're left to fearfully wonder just who or what could possibly be the Thing after one form of it is killed. Where the original had indelible sequences like the dog's head splitting open and revealing an extraterrestrial maw with hellish tentacle-appendages, we instead are repetitiously forcefed some half-man-half-melted-candle hybrid that squeals like the alien during the Area 51 autopsy scene from ID4 Independence Day.

The only thing this 'prequel' has going for it are the familiar faces bringing in some solid lead and supporting roles as the destitute survivors trying to live to see another day. There's also more time spent on the part of the movie where the group is trying to figure out who is the Thing and how they can test everyone to make sure. There's a lot more duplicity in the narrative than the original film, and it's about the only point in the film that we see any halfway decent character development. We also get to explore Thing's vessel submerged in the permafrost and are given some clues as to its extraterrestrial origins and technology which leads to a man-vs-beast confrontation with Thing. These two parts of the movie are about the only things that really set it apart from Carpenter's original because everything else is either a shot-for-shot reproduction of the Carpenter film or it's a very poor CGI replication of what the first movie did so exquisitely with practical effects.

As stated in so many reviews before mine, there's just nothing scary, bleak, or pulse-pounding about this unnecessary cash-grab of a remake when comparing it to the original. It will ultimately leave you feeling cheated if you're a fan of the original, but if you're new to Thing and haven't seen Carpenter's film than you may enjoy this. It's about 96 minutes long minus credits so the upside is, you won't waste much time watching it regardless if you end up liking it or not.

Do yourself a favor and watch the original instead, and then after you finish the original Thing, watch the rest of Carpenter's Trilogy (1. The Thing, 2. Prince of Darkness, 3. Mouth of Madness) for one of the most unsettling experiences the horror genre has to offer us.

Dracula (2020)

Pales in comparison in every conceivable way to Coppola's 1992 vision; Gary Oldman will forever be the true avatar of the Dracul

[5/10 · 4 January 2020]

This new miniseries is extremely 'hard to absorb' 👹😉 if you've seen Coppola's interpretation of Stoker's novel.

Gary Oldman will always be immortalizdd as the one true Dracula, I am certain of this. BBC's Dracula is not in any way even half as remotely terrifying as Oldman's Dracula. Where Oldman is slow, methodical, calculating and hauntingly emphatic with his Romanian diction, the BBC's Dracula is a quick talking, high-pitched helium Huffer who sounds like he's trying to squeeze a fart through his mouth whenever he speaks. It's an almost comical portrayal of what is normally one of the most creepy stories ever told.

There's no slow tracking shots of the castle exterior and no soul-wrenching string symphonies in the musical score that build the near-palpable Gothic dread so prevalent in the Copolla film. For lack of better phrasingz the entire production just feels flat and largely uninspired compared to the 28 year old movie. Even the makeup is abysmal in comparison--Dracula looks like a crackhead who spends his day diving into buckets of old paint and bathing in them, whereas Oldman's Dracula looked so old that he looked like a walking rotted revenant that encapsulated the facade of decrepitude and death with a ghoulishly fiendish detail.

When all is said in donez you really won't be missing anything by skipping over the BBC offering. And that's a flippin' shame because this was probably my most anticipated new Netflix show of the new year. I was extremely let down in every regard.

5/10. Watch Copolla's movie in the new 4K/Atmos remastering with a beefy Soundsystem instead. It's a far more memorable and indelible experience you won't soon forget, unlike this poor paltry pablum passing itself off as Dracula.

From Hell (2001)

A fascinating transition for the Hughes Bros.

[8/10 · 2 January 2020]

Known for their hard-hitting, well crafted cult-classic 'hood' films Menace II Society and Dead Presidents, From Hell represents an exciting transition for a familial duo of directors known usually for their street-savy tales of karma and retribution.

From Hell is visually stunning; Whitechapel District is immaculately recreated thanks to the backbreaking sweat of 140 Craftsmen and crew members working relentlessly over a twelve week period on a 20 acre plot to construct one of the finest sets ever seen in a period piece of the Victorian era.

Superb writing and the immersive acting from the movie's forerunners resurrects the nightlife of 19th century London for the big screen and the careful attention to detail borne of what is obviously rigorously-researched history really showcases some of the film's most fascinating scenes. Opium dens and sanitariums and morgues are seedy, gritty and absolutely thriving with an electric sense of tantalizing dread and morbidity. Icepick lobotomies and vivisection make some onscreen cameos, so if you're the squeamish type than From Hell will be a difficult watch for you.

Regardless of any sort of revisionism or dramatic licensing, From Hell is a riveting watch from the first minute to last. The trademark Hughes Brothers nihilism is peppered throughout the film, however their signature 'come uppance' climax seen in Menace/Presidents is absent here, marking another transition for the brotherly team as well as showcasing their capacity for artistic growth.

The Hughes Bros. know damn well how to make an addictive and stylish crime thriller, and From Hell is no different. They've created a masterful piece of cinema here and anyone jonesing for a fantastic murder mystery would do well to give From Hell a late-night, lights-out viewing. Johnny Depp and Ian Holm are of particular note here for their outstanding performances. Plus, it's one of the few times you get to hear Depp speak in a British accent.

8/10, a definite must see.