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harmisjack
Reviews
Watchmen: It's Summer and We're Running Out of Ice (2019)
I WILL CONTINUE TO WATCH THE WATCHMEN
Incredible continuation, and first start to a series based off of an established captivating franchise. Fans of the graphic novel will love this, fans of the movie will love this, and even non-comic fans will find something to enjoy!! Can't wait until next week!
Disenchantment: Tiabeanie Falls (2019)
Groening & Co. have done it again!
I enjoyed part 1 of Disenchantment, even though it didn't kick off until ep. 5 in my opinion.
This next half steps up an big time, and instantly becomes a captivating, humorous, emotional journey beyond epic proportions! What's stored in the future for Dreamland, Bean & co? Who knows until next season... if ONLY we knew when?
10/10 episode,
8.5/10 season 1
3 from Hell (2019)
Different movie, same franchise, mixed direction
With House Of 1000 Corpses we have a retro, grindhouse throwback set in a house of a haunted nightmare world.
With Devil's Rejects we are shifted into a western revenge movie with an "angel" (Officer Wydell) facing the devil's (The Fireflies).
With this latest chapter, we are in shifted in the direction of a self-aware subsequent blend of the first two movies. Rob combined the brutality, and grittiness of Rejects, with the wacky, Retro stylish throwback of Corpses and thus summoned 3 From Hell.
If you enjoy self-aware, brutal, grindhouse, action horror then you will love this addition. Everyone else will despise it for not being a serious follow up.
Crawl (2019)
Basically "The Hills Have Eyes", but with alligators in a flooded atmosphere.
If you loved Aja's "The Hills Have Eyes" remake, then you will surely love this. Instead of mutants, the monsters/villains are alligators. Instead of taking place in a deserted desert area, it takes place in a flooded basement for most of the movie.
Now, for viewers looking for a 100% realistic movie, worth an academy award, look elsewhere. You will dislike it for being what it sets out to be. Horror fans will find what they're looking for though.
The Simpsons: Bart's Not Dead (2018)
Not original, but promising start to season 30
After season 29 had a bizarre amazing finale, I couldn't wait for the first time in forever to see where the new season would pick up. After attempting to behave better since coming out of a coma, Bart's simple lie about meeting Jesus in his dream, escalated even farther when religious producers want to me a movie about Bart's experience. The plot is cliche, and can be predictable, but the jokes are well timed, and the payoff had me laughing. Hopefully season 30 keeps this consistency with comedy, but picks up a bit more in the writing department, especially how well and clever written the predecessor episode was!
Hell Fest (2018)
A festive retro slasher! Destined for cult status (might contain spoilers)
I just got home from seeing the premiere of a new Halloween themed horror movie' 'Hell Fest'. First, let's get some things out of the way, if you are expecting a movie with backstory, and acting that is oscar worthy, look elsewhere. What we have here is a retro throwback slasher, drawing inspiration from 80's and mid 90's retro horror movies. Without developing the villain, and setting him up for introduction for the brutal mayhem to come, we are immediately introduced to the Natalie and her friend who are two friends going to Hell Fest to meet up with some other friends.
When we're introduced to Hell Fest, there are intentional jump scares that are not meant to scare you, which sets up the high tension that pays off once the situation with the killer gets serious! The kills while not Rob Zombie brutal, are brutally well shot, and surprisingly stunning to look at as someone is about to get sliced, or bludgeoned, which should pack a terrifyingly satisfying feel for gore hounds, like it did for myself!
Now here's what might draw viewers away from this movie. The acting. The acting did not match the tension the actual kills brought, which will make it hard to care for a majority of these characters, if you are looking for characters to sympathize with and root for. Also, the dialogue a majority of the time felt forced or rushed, but if you are looking for a fast paced, brutally satisfying gore fest, and enjoy Halloween, then surely you will have fun with this flick!
Also, be sure to pay attention carefully, because there are subtle hints throughout the movie which helps connect certain characters.
Disenchantment (2018)
A slow start, but there is room for infinite imagination to come!
As a big fan of The Simpsons for almost 20 years, and a fan Futurama since I first saw it in 2002, there was no doubt I was hyped that Matt Groening was coming out with a new series!
****UPDATE****
This is not like Groening's past where a joke is pumped out of any character every scene. The jokes are more subtle (ala sign readings), and require patience, because they do improve and get even better with each ep. However they are not always in your face, which may confuse some. I was seriously surprised how much more I picked up then before after rewatching eps. 1 and 2. By episode 4 and forward, the show only got better and more engaging, that by the time the credits rolled completely after episode 10, I felt nothing short of satisfied, and demanding for more! That's a good thing!
****UPDATE*****
With part three just released, and fully binged, the show seems to move in a circle with each season; Characters dying and magically returning, the kingdom of Dreamland always falling at the hands of Bean, and finally, I always said "I want more" at the end of each part respectively... With part 3 finished, I DEMAND more!
31 (2016)
Rob Zombie called this his "most brutal film to date"
And boy is it ever so brutal!
After the his previous film, "The Lords of Salem" was met with disappointment from a majority of Rob Zombie fans and horror fans alike for being "different than a typical Rob Zombie film". Rob organized a crowdfunding campaign that promised his fan-base and horror fans that his latest feature "31" would be a return to his brutal, grindhouse, blood soaked, gritty style he is known for.
The premise is simple: On the night of Halloween eve, a group of carnival workers are brutally killed and 5 workers are kidnapped by a gang of goons and taken to a secluded industrial compound known as "Murderworld", where the victims are forced to participate in a violent hack and slash game known as '31' for 12 hours before they are set free should any of them survive the brutal mayhem to come. Once the game gets underway, the action never stops! Starting with the interesting group of characters there is; Roscoe Pepper (Jeff Phillips), a mechanical handyman who cares for his group and will do anything to defend them and keep them alive. Venus Virgo (Meg Foster), an occasionally strong competitor in the group. Charly (Sherri Moon Zombie), a dancer for the group who toughens up as the game progresses farther. Panda Thomas (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) a tough starting competitor, but softens up as the game progresses. And last there is Levon (Kevin Jackson) who is said to be Panda's brother, but other than that doesn't do or add much for the group. The characters are each engaging with their distinct personalities that give more than enough reason to sympathize and root for. Next we have the brutally obnoxious psychotic clowns known as 'The Heads' who are released at different times during the game, and are a blast to watch, especially Doom-Head (Richard Brake) who is the ultimate weapon of that group! This is where the blood soaked action starts and never stops, and is a blast to watch from start to finish until the game is over!
That said, is it a groundbreaking masterpiece? Certainly not, nor is it meant to be. If you are a big fan of Rob Zombie's films, especially The Devil's Rejects, then this is one you definitely shouldn't miss! If you generally dislike Rob's films, but love horror, you probably won't like this movie either but should give it a watch at least once!
9/10
+ Incredible inclusion of 70's hard rock and classical soundtrack + Colorful characters + Amazing atmosphere - Room for some character development
Piranha 3D (2010)
Based on this remake, I can't imagine a sequel...
Doing any better than this piece of trash. I mean the sequel should be released straight to DVD. Now for the Review: Before Piranha 3D was released, I had no interest in seeing it at all, besides the fact that I was praying this film would bring a 'My Soul to Take' trailer on opening day. Well, 1 day before this came out, a trailer was released, but I also read other reviews about Piranha that it was actually a lot better, and scarier than most people thought it would be. So I thought I would give this a try, because from the good reviews I read, I had some pretty good expectations, that this remake actually had a chance. Well, I must say I was very saddened, and luckily I didn't pay for this, because I would have wanted my money back. 'Piranha' was THAT bad. All this had was non-stop blood, and boobs which was promised, but there was pretty much no story in this movie what so ever. This movie had some scary moments, buried beneath all the non-stop parties, and pointless death scenes. This was a very predictable movie, and before this movie was half way done, I just lost interest in what was going to happen. If you only care about blood, and big boobs, you will like this. If you were praying for a good story line, stay away from this. Now a sequel is in the works, which I can't imagine why.
1* out of 5
Scream (1996)
Best Horror Trilogy Ever hands Down
There are many reasons to why Scream is the best horror trilogy, and movie out of any other Horror slasher film such as Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, etc.
1. Actually has a story, rather than just killing people, and stalking them like in most films.
2. Always a different killer in the same costume in each film. Rather than it just being Michael Myers, and Jason in each sequel. Which is why the person who is causing the murders is a mystery.
3. New Rules to abide by in order to survive through each film.
Scream: 1996 ****/****
This movie is the best in so many ways, you will want to watch it over and over if "Horror" is your favorite film genre. This film stars: David Arquette, Cortney Cox-Arquette, Matthew Liliard, Skeet Ulrich, Neve Campbell, and Jamie Kennedy.
Directed By: Wes Craven
Where to begin. The actors are well casted, the story is brilliant, there are clever scenes, good jokes, and this movie will keep you at the edge of your seat trying to figure out the mystery killer.
Plot: Scream is a film about a killer who has watched too many scary movies, and is now making his own real life horror film attacking High School Students from Woodsboro, CA. The target is Sidney Prescott (Campbell). Late one night, she has gotten a phone call by the killer who is able to see everything she is doing, and later tries to make a move to murder her, just like her mother who was killed a year before all these tragic events. Now, who can the killer be? Can it be Billy Loomis (Ulrich), Sidney's boyfriend, Randy Meeks (Kennedy) the geeky film genius, Deputy Dewey Riley (David Arquette), the quiet sheriff of Woodsboro, Sidney's father, or Stewart Macher (Liliard) the goofy weirdo?
I highly recommend this film to all horror fans, and for you to watch the whole trilogy. This film never gets old!
Scream 3 (2000)
Decent Ending, but could have been much better.
OK, I am a huge fan of the Scream trilogy, and first let me go over some things from beginning to end.
Scream (beginning): Awesome, scary, and clever.
Scream 2 (middle): Scary, mysterious, and awesome. One of the best sequels to any horror film.
Scream 3 (final act): Not as scary as 1 & 2, decent, could have been better.
Alright, as I said Scream 1 & 2 were amazing and scary. Now Scream 3... kinda rushed a few things. They went into killing right away. Cotton Weary who was the big hero at the end of Scream 2, was killed off way to early. Now we have Sidney Presscott who is staying hidden up in California, living under a different name and is a "Crisis hot line operator". I felt like Sidney's role wasn't that big, because she didn't really have any scary fights besides the end, like she had a lot of those in a lot more scenes in Scream & Scream 2. The murders were too predictable, but the only best part of the film is the end of knowing how these horrific events of Sidney's life have happened. Kevin Williamson should have wrote Scream 3. All in all, it was a good ending, but just could have been better.
I give this a 7/10
Halloween II (2009)
A Bloody Mess
Okay, Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween scared the hell out of me, and kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Now Halloween 2... I don't know where to begin.
First we have a flash back of Michael in Smith's grove with his mom before she killed herself, which I thought was a decent beginning. Then we have Laurie in the hospital after a fight with Michael that ended in a blood bath. Those scenes were acceptable, but the rest of the movie had bloody violence for no reason, a ghost and Michael as a kid as a ghost too! Okay, first off that was uncalled for. This was a Halloween movie, not a ghost movie! We have Michael and his mom watch Michael as an adult do all the work. There were no scary chase scenes, and the worst of all... They killed Loomis! Loomis has always been the awesome one hunting down Michael, instead he believes Michael is dead and does not even come in until the end for a fight which didn't even have any fighting. The story was terrible, the violence was happening for no good reason. What was Rob thinking?! They should've just said Michael finally gets accepted into hell after being shot in the head at the end of the first movie. Horrible... absolutely horrible.
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Should have ended after H20
OK, I first got into Horror movies after seeing the remake of Rob Zombie's Halloween. I then got into the original Halloween franchise after the first one, which wasn't bloody, but we don't need blood to scare us. I then found out there were a bunch of sequels, and Saw Jamie-Lee came back in H20, and was in H:R which I saw got terrible reviews, which I found out why after watching the whole franchise, and especially after seeing how H20 ended. This film completely ruins the entire Halloween series. H20 ended the best way ever, and was even better because the main Halloween character (Jamie-Lee Curtis) ended it (at first). I feel like I'm Jamie-Lee from H20 after what happened 20 years ago, she couldn't get the horrible incident of her head. I can't get it out of my head knowing they made something like this unnecessary to keep it going. The remake of the first one should have been the only continuation. This movie has bad acting, bad story, and bad intro. This movie should be rated "T" for Terrible. I even prefer Batman & Robin over this crap! WHY RICK WHY?!? Did you have to do this? 1/10 (should be 0/10)