Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
Richard Dreyfuss | ... | Matt Boyd | |
Ving Rhames | ... | Deputy Fallon | |
Elisabeth Shue | ... | Julie Forester | |
Christopher Lloyd | ... | Mr. Carl Goodman | |
Eli Roth | ... | Wet T-Shirt Host | |
Jerry O'Connell | ... | Derrick Jones | |
Steven R. McQueen | ... | Jake Forester | |
Jessica Szohr | ... | Kelly | |
Kelly Brook | ... | Danni | |
Riley Steele | ... | Crystal | |
Adam Scott | ... | Novak | |
Ricardo Chavira | ... | Sam | |
Dina Meyer | ... | Paula | |
Paul Scheer | ... | Andrew | |
Brooklynn Proulx | ... | Laura Forester |
Lake Victoria's annual Spring party by 50,000 young revelers is about to turn into a feeding frenzy with prehistoric hunger-pains. With knee-trembler's above the waves and tremors below, released from their dormant sleep, thousands upon thousands of flesh-eating nippers are released into the lake with whetted appetites and razor-sharp teeth. With a motley crew of strangers thrown together to defend these shores, it is now up to them to prevent the largest eat-out in human, and piranha, history. Written by Cinema_Fan
In the minus column:
A hackneyed plot. Banal dialogue. Perfunctory characters. Action without consequence. Good actors in bad roles. Bad actors in bad roles, especially many annoying performers who do not die early enough, or who do not die at all, including two dull children whose only purpose in the film is to be eaten by piranha, and who are not. Plus a weak story as an excuse for various types of titillation.
The pluses:
Various types of titillation, including the violent deaths of Eli Roth and Jerry O'Connell. Come on. That's some big pluses.
This movie more or less performs its primary directive, which is to teach young boys how to masturbate to softcore sex while simultaneously enjoying hardcore violence. Or the other way around, maybe; does it matter? At least "Piranha 3D" is unpretentious in the structure department. It doesn't bother making its fish expert a scientist, but rather a guy played by a guy who used to play a scientist. On one level, that's lazy filmmaking. On another, though, it's pretty efficient shorthand.
However, the movie does make the strange choice of looking down upon a character whose job is to make pornography. Since this movie's job is to be pornography, I'm confused. Is that a metaphysical statement? Is this creation talking back to its maker? Or is it just unselfconscious enough not to notice that it contains all the dirty stuff its villain wants us to see?
Besides all that, the movie offers up several kinds of wish fulfillment: underdog heroism; blonde girls who would never sleep with you getting their hair caught in outboard motors; and the greatest gift of all, that it is soon over.