mamoru-sama Reviews

Krapopolis (2023– )

As usual, the low IQ crowd ruin everything.

[7/10 · 15 November 2023]

Just look how many of these bad reviews give ridiculously over the top score and/or clearly have an agenda.

If they're not even talking about shows that have little to nothing to do with this one.

One of them even admits watching 5 mere minutes of it before deciding to quit and give it a 1/10.

One other cries something about cultural appropriation like the most unhinged alt-right bozo you could find on the internet.

I'm only on episode 5, but I'm really enjoying it so far.

It's really funny and pretty clever, too.

Definetly a Dan Harmon show. And I suspect, like most great shows in the making, it hasn't even found its pace yet.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

Reviews make me feel like I landed in the Twilight Zone.

[5/10 · 22 March 2023]

I don't know what's wrong with all these glowing reviews, especially when you see the ratings of the Shrek 1-2-4 movies.

This is an aggressively average picture, there's really nothing in this movie that you won't see or get from literally any animated movie of this sort that came out after Toy Story.

The story's a cliché adventure story, the "jokes" are played out and not really funny, it seems to be trying really hard at being just another animated movie that doesn't take itself too seriously.

Hell, it tries to do everything the first Shrek did, but way too late, and not quite as well.

It's a 6/10 if i'm generous.

Finch (2021)

Not bad but I would definetly not go out of my way to recommend it.

[6/10 · 8 February 2023]

Unless you're really and very easily manipulated into loving a movie by the mere existence of a dog in it, it's not bad, but it's really nothing special.

Even the robot makes very little sense, how does a robot made a day ago even even develop the reflex of apologizing?

And more to the point, why would he apologize when given the order to stop apologizing instead of stopping?

The movie doesn't seem to know what kind of robot it wants it to be.

Other than that, really not much happen, they just... drive and in the end the robot just fulfils the purpose he was given in the beginning, taking care of the dog after the man's death, so the least surprising ending in movie History.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

I can sum up this movie in two words.

[4/10 · 20 November 2022]

I can sum up this entire 3h of movie, its intentions, its goals, its motivations, everything in two simple words: "Ok Boomer".

This movie and its raving reviews are proof of what I will never tire of pointing out to people affected by it: "Nostalgia is a poison for objectivity, if not even a straight up mental disease".

It's like Tarantino saw Forrest Gump and thought he could do better by making it entirely about a specific part of Hollywood's History.

But he didn't, it's boring, and there's none of that classic Tarantino dialogue to salvage the uninteresting subject matter.

Anyone else would've made the exact same movie, it would've been forgotten in a week.

The Grand Tour: Dumb Fight at the O.K. Coral (2017) Season 1, Episode 10

Just filming their vacation.

[3/10 · 1 July 2022]

A short interesting bit with an Alfa Romeo, and then we get dragged into watching their day at the beach.

Same people defending this are rolling their eyes and asking what the world is coming to when they see kids let "influencers" trick them into paying for their vacation.

The Godfather (1972)

Really good if you're trying to sleep.

[4/10 · 13 May 2022]

This is honestly the most one of the most boring movies I've ever seen. No way in hell does it get so many good ratings based on anything more than sheer nostalgia.

I don't know how good it was 50 years ago, but it does not stand the test of time.

Bang Bang Baby (2022– )

Starts off ok.

[6/10 · 30 April 2022]

But if I never see again another boring high school kid whose sole purpose in life is to hang with the cool kids that bullied them, it'll be too soon.

Black Mirror: USS Callister (2017) Season 4, Episode 1

This is why we can't have nice things.

[3/10 · 28 April 2022]

This is the episode that made it clear that becoming more and more popular mean a show is going to start pandering. To the lowest common denominator.

This has been made for and by the type of people who think videogames character are actual people with actual feelings, and do not understand that a bunch of 1s and 0s can't actually be alive.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Not a bad movie.

[6/10 · 28 April 2022]

It's not bad, but the writing took a very serious nosedive from the previous one, which itself took a fairly steep nosedive from the first three movies.

Gone is the complexity and subtletly of the characters, their intertwined motivations, and the way each of them planned accordingly and credibly to reach their very different goals.

Nobody (I) (2021)

The action's good.

[6/10 · 27 April 2022]

The action is good, but there's not a lot of it, and everything else is pretty underwhelming.

Doesn't help that it starts really slow, the first 20 minutes are kind of a drag.

I Am Mother (2019)

Excellent sci-fi.

[8/10 · 11 April 2022]

A shame all the people who suddenly thought they liked and understand sci-fi since Inception came out are lowering the ratings.

This movie's really excellent and unlike many other sci-fi flicks, actually has some stones not to make everything all nice and Disney-ish.

Signs (2002)

Watch it again, but

[8/10 · 4 April 2022]

This time don't get tricked into believing the aliens are hostile just because the characters believe it.

Or that God was with them and helped them through an invasion just because, again, the characters believe so.

This might be the most misunderstood movie ever made.

Friends: The Reunion (2021 TV Special)

One of the most boring things I've ever seen.

[3/10 · 1 June 2021]

This is proof you can sell literally anything to people as long as you're using that mental disease that people call "nostalgia", and they'll even reward you for it with good ratings.

Space Sweepers (2021)

Should be rated higher.

[7/10 · 16 February 2021]

Same westerners who gave this movie bad to average ratings would've given it 10/10 if it was about a dog rather than a child.

Snowpiercer (2020–2024)

Whoever made this did not understand the source material.

[3/10 · 19 May 2020]

The first 2 minutes of the first episode demonstrates pretty clearly to anyone who's actually paid attention during the 2013 movie, that whoever's responsible for SnowPiercer the show did not understand it.

Weird City (2019)

Basically Black mirror, but (purposefully) weird.

[7/10 · 3 March 2019]

It's far from being as bad as the current 5.something score would have you believe. It's Black Mirror, but weird, as the title suggest itself. It's basically a parody but it's not exactly in your face. In most of its comedic situations, it's as though you could completely be forgiven for thinking they were not trying to be funny.

I'm guessing this mostly the reason why it's getting such bad reception.

It's actually very much like Key&Peele's skits, except without the over-acting that sets the tone and basically spells out that these skits were supposed to be comedic.

Venom (2018)

Half a good movie.

[6/10 · 3 March 2019]

The first 40 minutes are a compilation of the most boring cliches you've seen in Hollywood movies. After that the movie's good. Which still means that half the movie's bad.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Charlie Catches a Leprechaun (2016) Season 11, Episode 8

Funniest episode so far.

[29 April 2017]

Two weeks ago, I've never seen any episode of this show, and I remedied this like any normal person would do, by binge watching the entire 11 seasons. And this episode is in my own opinion and without a doubt in my mind the funniest one. This is the gang at their craziest, especially Charlie and Dennis. There's also a reservoir dogs reference in this one that will get you rolling on the floor laughing.

Interstellar (2014)

Has anyone ever told you the definition of mediocrity?

[5/10 · 15 November 2014]

I'll go ahead and write a first objective and actually useful paragraph, instead of just giving my opinion that nobody cares about:

Is this a movie for me?

1. I didn't like Inception and got very confused by it.

2. I loved Inception and found it very edgy.

3. I didn't like Inception, I thought it was actually pretty shallow and boring and it failed to impress me.

If you're in category 1, you will probably not like this movie, as this is the very same type of movie.

If you're in category 2 , you watch one sci-fi movie ever 3 years or so, if your forehead wrinkles when someone utters a concept as basic in sci-fi as "asimov laws" (for instance), if you get easily impressed and proud when you understand a movie that category 1 doesn't, you will love Interstellar.

If you're in category 3, you are more than familiar with sci-fi, whether it's movies, TV shows, literature or even video games. Avoid this movie, it will bore you out of your mind and you will get pretty annoyed by category 2 people acting like you're category 1 just because you didn't like a movie that felt challenging to them, and because they can't fathom the possibility that some people are way past this kind of movies and can't just be impressed by it.

In other words, this movie was just like Inception, mediocre. And since people really have a hard time with this word, let me just explain what it means: Medi-ocre. The Latin root word medi means "middle".

Bottomline this is an "average" movie for the "average" viewer. All the (current) 9.0 IMDb "average rating" does is reflecting that fact.

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

Why?! Why would you do this?!

[2/10 · 2 May 2014]

So pretty much everyone in the whole wide world who ever had a slight interest in kung-fu and martial arts movie in general were dying to one day see Jackie Chan and Jet Li in the same movie. It was like something they wish with all their heart but would never imagine to come true. Well, you know what they say, be careful what you wish for, because chances are Hollywood will turn this wish against you like the evil genie from "The Wishmaster". So here you go, a movie catered for 12 year old who know nothing about martial arts and would be just as happy with a movie starring two guys waving their arms around and acting like it's kung-fu. A stupid movie not so much about Jackie and Jet's awesomeness but rather about the usual boring American teenage boy everybody was already tired of when Karate Kid 3 came out. And that was 20 years ago.

Go to hell, Hollywood.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Waste of time.

[4/10 · 1 February 2014]

This movie is basically Alien 1 with updated visuals added and the fascinating antagonist removed. It generates a lot of expectations but never follows through. It talks about this mysterious race supposed to have engineered mankind, thus supposed to be of a superior intelligence and it keeps us in expectation of the dialog between it and the humans and the answering of their interrogations, such as "why did they create us", "why did they want to destroy us".

And in the end, all we get is a Prometeus acting like some dumb caveman killing everybody first and not even asking questions later. Pure waste of time.