dschlatter Reviews

Wish (II) (2023)

Where is the Disney music?

[6/10 · 12 April 2024]

When I was a kid, everybody would leave the cinema singing those great Disney songs on the way home.

Music has always been an integral part of any Disney song.

Beauty and the Beast, Lion King, Aladdin.., those were the greats. In recent years Encanto and Frozen (part 1, not 2!!) stand out.

Sadly, the songs in Wish are completely bland. The lyrics feel like a slam poet was asked to explain the plot to the audience.

I get that they tried something new. For me, it just didn't work.

I don't have high demands in terms of a story or animation. It's for kids, so... But the songs are their trademark. That has to be good. And it wasn't.

Damsel (2024)

It was fine. Which is fine. But I wanted awesome.

[6/10 · 15 March 2024]

I like simple movies. Overly complicated plots do not guarantee good cinema. But the simple movies need to have redeeming qualities, which allow you to forget about the plot.

I was surprised, that Damsel plays mostly inside that cave and the scenes before and after are fairly short. So what happens in the cave should have been gripping. But it lacked atmosphere. (Although, the dragon's voice was really fitting.) Neil Marshall's The Descent played mostly in a cave, but man, was that intense.

I think, what bothered me a bit was that it felt like a children's fairy tale turned bad. But "bad" didn't carry the movie.

The Beekeeper (2024)

Close to a perfect action movie, if only...

[8/10 · 5 February 2024]

Most Statham movies "suffer" from the same problem. The action is just too macho for my taste. My 14-year old self would have adored it. At 42 I still cheer, when good guys rough up bad guys. But The Beekeeper faces dozens of trained men head-on, no weapon in hand. (As if they were just regular people from the street,) And two characters were way over the top. The female Beekeeper was comically over the top. As was the blond merc towards the end.

The fight scenes and the action, however are beautifully done. The whole movie is beautiful.

A bit of modesty here and there, would have scored a 9/10.

The last point deduction would be the yuppie villains that are also a bit cartoonish in their behavior (except Jeremy Irons).

Still waiting for that one perfect Statham movie.

Old Dads (2023)

If you like Bill Burr, you'll enjoy this

[8/10 · 1 January 2024]

The title should not suggest that the movie solely rests on Bill Burr's shoulders. But in order to relate to the protagonist, it helps if you're not offended by what Bill says on stage.

I like Bill Burr's comedy a lot, so the struggle of these three men speaks to me and I enjoy humor that targets a younger generation. I guess one could fault Bill for basically using his stage persona for the film. It may not be bery original, but it's funny.

I found Old Dads to be a film that works in many ways. Good performances, well paced, funny dialogue. Not every idea he put in there is gold, but hey, those films are rare.

So do watch it, it's worth it.

The Equalizer 3 (2023)

Fuqua and Washington did it again.

[9/10 · 22 October 2023]

It is not extremely realistic, how one guy keeps on taking on groups of bad guys and wins. But that is not the point or why we watch the Equalizer. Antoine Fuqua shows us a world how we would like it to be. The bad guys are punished for their crimes. Really punished. No plea deals, no nothing. And they keep the action realistic, which is what I love about those movies (and hate in so many others). Washington moves and fights like a trained operative would. All in line with the laws of physics (and age). No fancy moves or stunts.

It's a quiet movie. They take their time to make the viewer a part of that beautiful Italian city. I've watched the German version. Which is what I don't normally do. But the people of Altamonte speak a lot of Italian on screen. I love it. It gives the movie an authentic feeling. Bravo, Mr. Fuqua.

Expend4bles (2023)

A director must love the genre, otherwise...

[5/10 · 13 October 2023]

Five stars is the best I can do. I loved the first two Expendables movies. They had a true "Expendables" cast: Daniels, Rourke, Norris, van Damme and of course Sly's team with Li, Lundgren, Crews, etc.

It was a joy to watch Lundgen fight Li or Daniels fight Statham.

They really tried to capture stuff, that could melt a 90ies action fan's heart sing.

Part 3 had some exciting cast members, like Snipes and Gibson. But the movie's climax got list in an endless battle with tanks, etc.

Part four does have fight scenes, but they are not well presented. Compared to the beautiful fights we see in John Wick movies, this was a shaky attempt of making action scenes. Jaa, Uwais and Statham can move beautifully. But they fight and the effect is somehow lost.

And I am sorry, but 50 Cent and Scipio add very little to the movie. There are some actors out there, who would have made a lot more sense in an Expendable movie: Rothrock, Cage, Russell, White, ... It's just.. Banderas' character was so over the top and borderline annoying. So why follow up on that?

I guess, what I'm saying is this: If you can't put together a good team, maybe leavd it be?

Scream (I) (2022)

Technically, six stars

[6/10 · 12 October 2023]

If this is your first Scream movie, you might agree to six stars. Decent acting, some tension, some slasher stuff, etc.

If you were there for the original in 1996 and have watched the sequals: 4 stars By now I have seen almost dvery single scene before. Nothing is new. And admitting to it on screen does not win any extra points. The director knew that it was just a rehash of previously used material and lines. Then the characters point it out in the movie? Shame, shame, shame.

Do yourself a favor: Watch Scream 1996 and then close the book on slasher movies. That was as good as this genre ever got. The humor, the characters, just everything.

Watching Scream 2022 only made me appreciate the original even more.

Now, am I gonna go watch the newest Scream? Puh-lease!

Demolition Man (1993)

What only few movies pulled-off

[10/10 · 3 August 2023]

Demolition Man has one almost unique quality. It makes fun of the action movie genre while at the same time being exactly that: An action movie with over the top scenes and cheesy one liners.

Plus, the movie makes a redictive commentary on political correctness, that now (30 years later) is more relevant than ever. The healthy food trends, the political correctness of speech, violence... Demolition Man has a lot to offer. I would say, that the movie's strongest point is how much fun it is. Such a pleasure to see Wesley Snipes as the bad guy.

There is one other movie out there, that is similar to Demolition Man: The Last Action Hero.

Watch them both, if you haven't already.

Hidden Strike (2023)

Finally, it came out

[7/10 · 2 August 2023]

As an old fan of Jackie Chan, I'm always happs to see him in as good role. Hidden Strike is not a movie that will be remembered in 20 years. It's a decent action movie, nothing more.

I liked the fight scenes. They deliver some classic Jackie Chan fights, which was much appreciated. I especially enjoyed the fight between Jackie and John. Jackie's character struggles to match Cena's height and mass. They did a nice job. Humor wise, the movie is alright. The story doesn't matter. So there is no point in pointing things, that don't add up.

So all in all, it's entertainment, nothing more. Keep it up, Mr. Cena. In a way, you are the next Schwarzenegger. (I mean that in a good way.)

The Witcher (2019– )

Nothing left to look forward to

[6/10 · 29 July 2023]

I was never exactly a fan of the witcher, but it entertained me enough to keep going.

Season 1 stands out as the best. Season 3 was bad. The storyline meanders and you feel as if you're watching a lot of useless filler-scenes. (It's sad, when an action fan thinks: Well, this fight was awesome, buuut completely out of the blue and unnecessary.) I applaud Mr. Cavill for creating this unique anti-hero. Also, the fight choreographers did a wonderful job. Caville's swordplay is amazing!

But now, The Witcher has nothing left to offer. No offense, Mr. Hemsworth, but no one can just fill in for the main character. The fans will hate it. No matter how good your performance will be. (Imagine Indiana Jones being played by, say, Jason Statham... right?)

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Enjoyable, but nos let it rest.

[7/10 · 13 June 2023]

I liked Dark Fate as a movie. It ranks third among the Terminator movies.

I liked many things about it: Badass Linda Hamilton as a bitter warrior, the idea of sending an augmented human. Schwarzenegger also worked well, I thought.

The problem is, they offer nothing nes, really. Skynet is now Legion. Reese is now Grace. Sarah hates the good Terminator's guts, etc. They even included the "timetraveler needs clothes and steals them" scene.

It's Ok to do hommages in a movie. But sometimes, it just ends up being s cooy of the original.

Terminator 2 was such a masterpiece, that it didn't leave any room for a sequel. They were all destined to fail. The only thing they could have done? Make a good movie in the dystopian future, as a prequel to Judgement day. Show the rise of the resistence led by John Connor. (just not how "Salvation" did it...)

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

I knew this would happen

[6/10 · 18 May 2023]

I was sceptical, when the first Ant-Man came out. But man, did that movie entertain. Paul Rudd's charm and the supporting cast carried a (let's be honest) fairly riddiculous premise and made it work.

So imagine my joy when part two was just as good. But then, Marvel had to weave movies together and every movie had to be part if some bigger scheme. I like standalone movies that just tell a good story. I don't appreciate that a villain is "introduced" so he can re-appear in some other franchise. And enough with the bloody multiverse. What a drag. Dr. Strange, Loki, Ant-Man, Spiderman.., Ant-Man worked in the real world, much like Spiderman used to work. 90% blue screen does not do the characters or the movie any favors. It's just a boring mess of flashy images and lights.

Take it down a notch, Marvel. You are losing that speacial ingredient that made for great movies. Don't make me switch to DC, please.

Scrubs (2001–2010)

One of the best shows ever

[10/10 · 7 May 2023]

I have recently started re-watching Scrubs on Disney plus. This show is one of my all-time favorites. The cast is wonderful. Even minor characters get to shine. It is easily one of the funniest shows. The humor is clever, silly, sometimes quite dark. And the jokes come at a high frequency. And it is a timeless humor. (I am probably gonna re-re-watch it in another ten years.) But with all the fast-paced humor, the show has a lot of heart too. So it is really the perfect combination.

Zach Braff is great, but the show diesn't have to depend on him to carry the story. There are plenty of other characters that contribute just as much as him.

The Orville (2017–2022)

A pleasant surprise

[9/10 · 17 March 2023]

I was expecting The Orville to be a Star Trek parody full of cheap shots and more or less funny humor. Previous films like Ted or A Million Ways to Die in the West have led to certain assumptions. So imagine my surprise when I found The Orville to be a proper sci-fi series with some humor, but more importantly good if not great story lines. The Orville tackles all kinds of topics ranging from religion to populism, while being sometimes more, sometimes less obvious about it. I love it. Seth MacFarlane is a great storyteller. I gave it nine stars, because even though it is a respectable show, I would have actually appreciated more humor in it.

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)

Can't defend it anymore.

[5/10 · 23 October 2022]

After Episode 1 I wrote a nice review, complimenting the creators for getting on with the story, rather than delivering yet another becoming-the-hero story. I also liked the cheeky feminist tone. Then the following episodes aired, and my amusement was fading fast. The show had no direction. It wasn't a proper comedy, uninteresting as a lawyer show, boring in the action department... so what was it, then? A glimpse at She-Hulks complicated relashionship status? Nothing was convincing, including the animated She-Hulk, who moved her body like a NPC in a video game. What was left, was an almost watchable "lukewarm, sugar-free cup of tea". And don't get me started on the underdevelopped villain sub-plot. Well, the writers admit it themselves in the finale. But that is not an excuse. You either have a villain, then do it properly or you say: Screw it, we don't need one. And leave it be.

Black Adam (2022)

I am just not made for DC (to be fair)

[6/10 · 23 October 2022]

I like Dwayne Johnson's work. He has charm, comedic timing, and he can play the bad ass. The DC people are just not my kind of movie makers, so I left the theater disappointed.

Why is that? I like Marvel Movies better. The humor is light. The character development is done more efficiently. The action looks less Computer generated.

DC's style just doesn't work for me. They take such joy in showing off Adam's Superman-like strenght, it becomes boring. Endless hovering and flying around with clenched fists... And the lightning looks exactly, like whenever The Flash does his thing. What they fail to do, is make me care about what happens to the characters. Pierce Brosnan is the exeption. But Cyclone? She is just a pretty face they kept showing me in slow motion.

I did appreciate the dynamic between the Justice Society and Adam.

I just think, DC worships their characters so much, they forget that they have people in the audience who have not read the books. These people needs to first get to know and then learn to like the characters in under an hour. Same with the villains. They can't just be a prop at the end. They too need character development. DC fails at that so often.

The batman movies were the exeption. Justice League, Suicide Squad (not The..), Wonder Woman, etc. Are the rule.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

It's fun, even if it is too silly at times

[7/10 · 21 July 2022]

Ragnarock was amazing. It was one of those rare movies, that have it all. So Love and Thunder had big shoes to fill. It is a fun movie, no question about it. The tone, however, did not always fit. Overly silly does not always mix with seriousness (this is not The Naked Gun) For example: 1. The opening scene with Gorr did not need such a silly portrayal of his God. I was fine with the gravity of Gorr's loss. No jokes appreciated there.

2. Even though, I loved the Van Damme references in the opening battle, Thor needn't have flipped around like Disney's Gummy Bears. Too silly. There was plenty of humor in that scene without that extra goof-factor.

3. Zeus could have been just an arrogant ass. The scene would have worked fine. But they made Russell Crowe play such an idiotic character. Good God, that was hard to watch. And the God of dumplings? Way too stupid and out of place.

But on the other hand, the movie had a lot of good story lines. So if only they hadn't tried to top Ragnarok's humor. They should have aimed for "same same, but different" not for "ooh, let's go even further".

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

The shorter version was a mess

[7/10 · 18 July 2022]

And now? Now it's four hours long and better, but still not very good. DC superhero movies somehow just can't conjure up emotions. No matter how long the runtime: The villain is bland, the heroes don't matter to me, the watcher. It's s mess of computer generated images that are meant to be impressive. But I am 40 years old and no longer impressed by CGI. What I see is a bunch of posing and no heart. I need to like (and therefore root for) my heroes and hate my villains. Otherwise why bother?

Iliza Shlesinger: Unveiled (2019 TV Special)

One of the best comedians out there

[9/10 · 2 July 2022]

I watch a lot of Netflix specials and I don't always understand why or how somd names made it to the top. With Iliza it's very easy: She's got it all. She is an observer, she is smart, she nails physical comedy, she works with her voice... She just delivers the full package. Plus, her comments on society may sting a little (as they should), but they're never gross, crass or truly hurtful.

So far I've liked all her specials. Keep em coming.

The Man from Toronto (2022)

Falls a little flat

[6/10 · 26 June 2022]

Maybe it was the dialogues. Kevin Harts character keeps rambling on and on and I know it was meant to be funny, but it has no effect and it's bordering on annoying. His character and some scenes in general are just too idiotic and they hurt the overall performance of the movie. Sometimes, Hart's style works and it makes for great movies (Central Intelligence, Jumanji), but he needs good material to work with.

My advice? Watch Red Notice again, it's the better movie.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

They did everything right

[10/10 · 6 June 2022]

The last time I was blown away by a sequel was Terminator II. So imagine the rate joy I felt.

They made a beautiful movie, plain and simple. The story works, the cast is a great fit, the images, the sound... everything just works. And what I appreciate the most: They didn't overload on action and drama. There were some missiles to shake and two enemy planes to deal with. They didn't let our hero pilots be overrun by an impossible enemy force. (And then, by some miracle, they would come out on top. I loved that as a teenager, now I can't stand it anymore.) Thank you for not overloading Top Gun Maverick. They kept it simple. No unnecessarily complicated subplots. Bravo!

As Good as It Gets (1997)

A joy to watch

[10/10 · 10 May 2022]

This movie is such a joy to watch. The main chraracters are such expressive actors. And Nicholson? He is one of the most talented actors ever. That man could make you understand tge plot just with his face and body. Dialogue is just a plus. The movie also delivers a good story and some seriously funny dialogue. They hardly ever make rom-coms of that format.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Just doesn´t do it

[5/10 · 24 April 2022]

I understand that people in horror movies have to act counterintuitive so that it frustrates you when you watch it. As in: Take his gun, man. Oh no, he left the gun on the floor. What an idiot.

I suppose it creates a nightmarish scenario, you know, that dream when you can´t run away from something.

But if it is overdone, it becomes unbelievable and stupid. And the extreme violence then does nothing. In fact, when he cuts through an entire bus full of people (and not one soul gets past him), I found myself laughing and that is a weird response to people getting cut in half.

So the entire story that unfolds seems just ridiculous. And much like with Jason, when the villain is just a unresponsive killing machine (with superpowers?), I can´t care enough. My recommendation: Avoid and watch Neil Marshall´s The Descent (THE BRITISH ONE!!) instead. Now that is one fine horror movie.

Independence Day (1996)

Looking back it shines

[9/10 · 12 April 2022]

Writing a review so long after a movie came out seems pointless, right? The thing is, I have been watching movies for over almost four decades now. I missed almost no blockbuster. It also means, that now, at 40, I can look back at a mountain of "nice try", "inferior to its original", "you gotta be kidding me" and every once in a while: "hell yeah". It happens rarely. And Independence Day was one of those. It had it all: The coolness, the well-chosen cast, the action, the drama, even the story. So yeah, after the likes of Die Hard 5, Indiana Jones 4, Fast and Furious 2-9, The Predator, James Bond after Casino Royale, the new Jurassic Parks, I look back and smile. Independence Day deserves 9 stars. (not 10, because of the patriotism. Man, that was hard to watch)

Wu Assassins (2019)

Like water and oil

[6/10 · 27 March 2022]

Wu Assassins (and also Fistful of Vengeance) confuses me. Rarely is a movie good and absolutely terrible at almost the same time. It's like they had nobody to oversee the overall quality of the production. There's good acting immediately followed by terrible acting. Great martial arts sequences and poorly shot martial arts happening in the same fights. Plot that makes sense, followed by idiotic nonsense. Almost no consistency. The only consistent thing is the music. It's pretty much bad all the way.

It's a shame that so many martial arts material suffers from serious lack of quality. Van Damme, Seagal, Lundgren, Yen, Adkins and Uwais have all made/played in great films. But the mountain of barely watchable garbage they have also starred in is a little sad.

Why can't more producers be like the people who brought us Cobra Kai? They have - against all odds - made me binge watch what seemed like just a ridiculous concept. I loved every episode.

So sadly, I can't say the same for Wu.