m0ds Reviews

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

The hell was that?

[4/10 · 13 June 2018]

I have no idea what I just watched. It was all over the place. I didn't care for a single character. I didn't care for the Star Wars universe. I completely zoned out, I just wanted it to end.

Kudos to Hamill for reprising Luke, though it's clear now why he so badly wanted to avoid it. I've watched every Star Wars movie but by no means a fan, I just give them a chance and respect them for their tales, but this one was by far the worst, and not just a bad Star Wars movie, just an outright bad movie. Pacing, editing, acting, plot (was there one?)... gah! I want that 90 mins of my life back lol.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

ALAN, it's up there with JP3

[6/10 · 13 June 2018]

Probably just for kids. May be better on a second viewing?

Every scene was basically a lead up to one of the shots in the trailer(s). If you've seen all the trailers then you've seen the movie, what you haven't seen is the filler between all the moments in the trailers. Like Jeff Goldblum? You've already seen his entire part in the trailers, in fact, they cut out a couple of his trailer lines in the movie. If you've seen the Thai trailers with additional footage (like I had) then the entire experience will not have any punch.

It was alright, it was not a bad movie per se. Owen and Claire, though cute as always, are relatively useless in this movie. They extract some blood and escape a jail cell, that's about the long and short of it. The majority of death scenes are "implied" which is lame, though there are a couple of decent kill-count moments. I didn't like the music during the volcanic explosion, it sounded really cartoony and out of place. There are no great flourishes like Blue's "Lost World" cue in JW1 and the main themes from JP are not used (bar one piano note melody and JP theme for credits music). Nice to hear the JW themes but even they aren't used much.

Blue is probably the star and even she gets very limited time on-screen. All that aside though, it's probably fine, fun and scary for kids. And I have to accept that my fandom for JP comes from enjoying it as a kid. I think as a kid I would find it a very entertaining dino movie. As a pretty hardcore JP fan, I was left underwhelmed, but not entirely disappointed. There was still Blue, and dues-ex-machina Rexy, and Owen & Claire. The effects were decent enough, but as a whole it just never seemed to quite come together.

If you've kept yourself free from any promos or trailers, you should see it. All the iconic moments from the movie won't have been spoiled for you. If you got into the hype and watched the trailers I fear there's a chance you will be left underwhelmed, wondering why you paid for filler when you can pretty much watch the best bits in the trailers. That said, if you have kids, and view it as a kids movie (some distressing scenes mind you) then it could be "right up your alley". It wasn't right up mine, not even the back alley. But yeah a passable JP with Blue who remains a legendary raptor, so 6/10.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)

Fantastic Derp And Where To Find Derp

[6/10 · 27 August 2017]

I tried to enjoy it, but I didn't find much to enjoy myself. The character who gets accidentally embroiled in the situation is the most interesting thing in this movie. I'd rather follow him than the mumbling lead.

The other characters are barely memorable, plot is incredibly so-so. An extra star awarded for Johnny Depp being in something that isn't made by Tim Burton, even if his screen time in this instalment was barely a minute long.

Check it out, a lot of people like it, maybe I wasn't really ready for it or had Harry Potter on my mind but for me it was simply "meh". Not overtly bad but not overtly good either.

Aftermath (IV) (2017)

Slow and mildly entertaining

[5/10 · 9 May 2017]

A slow paced dramatisation/Americanization of the Uberlingen mid-air collision and events.

Arnie's performance is pleasant and sincere enough, but the overall pacing doesn't add any tension.

If you know the events surrounding the Uberlingen crash, you already know the events of "inspired by a true story" Aftermath, with a 1 minute extra scene, possibly made up, at the end.

I didn't find myself emotionally invested with the characters, and the scale of the tragedy in Aftermath never felt very apparent. But that's not to say I didn't enjoy it at all. It's a nice slow piece for Arnold in his elder years and even I can respect that!

I'd recommend it to folks who enjoy Air Crash Investigation / Mayday simply because it's a feature-length version of one of those episodes with Arnie in it. But I doubt I'd recommend it to anyone else, for anything other than to experience Arnie in a toned down, slow-paced role.

It's a somewhat tedious tale of a father's grief, with some nice acting, the tedium for me, set by the pace and lack of emotional pull, which in part, I think was due to the disjointed editing and seemingly skipping over certain aspects of the characters and their motivations to progress time.

But, for fans of Arnie, or Mayday, it may be interesting enough.

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

It's a movie, that's for sure

[6/10 · 29 March 2017]

Kong: Skull Island is fun, no denying that. I was hoping for a little bit more depth than it offered. That's not to say anyone was bad in it at all, they were simply not brought together in a very strong manner.

Being a fan of Peter Jackson's Kong it's hard not to go into this wondering how it might compare. Whilst Jackson's Kong is a nice retelling of the original, this is definitely your Die Hard 5 version of King Kong. That is to say, the characterization, the sense of doom, even the tugging of the heart strings in Jackson's Kong do not cross over into Skull Island at all.

The characters here are 2 dimensional, with only one having a name I remember (because it's the same as a computer manufacturer) and I'm fresh out of the cinema earlier this evening. Oh and Kong of course, he's one I can name...! "That's what I call them... You call them what you want" line in the movie can definitely be applied to the characters in this film, they honestly could be called tom dick and harry and it'd have no different effect.

But, given that this is a more in-line with the Godzilla franchise (and apparently a setup for a Godzilla sequel?) it does provide much more thrills and spills than the more recent Godzilla movie, giving a hint that at least the Kong vs Godzilla movie could be entertaining enough.

There are a few nice action sequences. I'm not really sure what made up the rest of the film, in my mind, some silly stuff, like covering several miles in seemingly seconds, second-rate banter & monsters coming out of nowhere clichés left right and centre.

So it's fun. Come the ending I was ready to leave and didn't bother with whatever showed over the credits. It was fine as a no-brainer action movie, but it was a very mediocre ride for the Kong fan in me. Worth a watch, if you can flush any interest in any earlier Kong film's first - but that's just my opinion. 6/10!

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Absolute tosh

[3/10 · 1 August 2016]

There is only one logical way to describe this disaster movie: A disaster.

An awfully constructed and just as awfully executed "movie". From the use of no locations and just a green-screen sound-stage thru to bland dialogue and action without any actual action, it makes you wonder just where, how and why this thing came to be. Thank you Judd Hirsch for raising the only smile for a 3 second period in a 2 hour movie.

Emmerich gave rise to the disaster movie genre and now he's taking it to its inevitable demise. It's nice to see all these characters again, even if they do only each get 2 scenes and 3 lines of dialogue. Somehow they made that work in the original, but not at all in this one.

There's a bit near the end where they're trying to take down a ship, and in one shot you see a missile head towards it, in the next shot Jeff Goldblum says nothing and in the shot after that it's crashed on the ground and people are celebrating... it's as if every shot was supposed to be 3 times longer or that all the connecting shots got cut in favour of...well, I don't know, in favour of making it a godawful movie.

To sum up. Everything you loved about the first ID4 movie -- is nowhere to be seen in this one. Any potential it could have had is lost in a bad script, rubbish characterization, lack of locations... Who cares if aliens are back doing boring alien crap again? The characters in the movie sure don't seem to.

Give it a miss, maybe watch it on TV -- but be warned even streaming it illegally will leave you wondering why you bothered. You might think of it as a sort of "Starship Troopers 2". Basically godawful why did they bother material. And after all that, they have the gall to throw in a "hey, we have an idea for a trilogy" right at the end. If I remember rightly, it's not like anyone asked for an Independence Day 2...

3 stars. One for Jeff Goldblum and Judd Hirsch's characters retaining a pinch of the relationship from the first movie. One for Judd Hirsch's character, being about the only one that was still like the original character. And one final star for not casting Jai Courtney.

Forrest Gump (1994)

So sentimental and lovely

[10/10 · 15 June 2013]

I'm a 30 year old guy and this movie makes me cry every time I watch it. What a fascinating portrayal of friendship, curiosity and love.

I first remember seeing this when it came out as a child in the cinema, and when Jenny died I shed a tear. Over time, this film has just become better and better and its meanings more profound, to the point where I find myself in tears through almost the entire thing. It's a really beautiful movie.

Tom Hanks is perfect, Robin Wright is beautiful, the music by Silvestri is the most chilling beauty he's ever written and everything comes together for this movie like it was just meant to be.

I am satisfied, completely, and ten times over. I like Shawshank but because love rather than redemption is something I can relate to more I'd have to say this is my number #1 movie. Just the greatest. I'm really glad I saw this in the cinema when it first came out and can't believe it has touched me so much from my first viewing to my last.

One of, if not the most sentimental films I have ever watched.

Escape from L.A. (1996)

Plissken doesn't disappoint!!

[7/10 · 7 January 2012]

I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this movie, but I was really glad I watched it! Bad-ass Snake is back and his new assignment sees him enter a run-down LA in search of a 'black box'. Standard "Escape" stuff, again we assume he's been drugged and has no alternative.

The visual effects come thick and fast: There is a mix of some really great effects early on and some equally awful ones, but as this was the dawn of "comic book style" films they're all totally acceptable in the film world. A lot of them were really nice, even the tacky nature of them still holds good value. But what I really liked were the epic long shots and large models that I thought really gave LA and edge over New York.

The plot does twist and turn more than you expect. Just as I was getting to like Plisken's love interest...BLAM! Just as I thought some boring secondary cast member is about to join the plot - BAM - it's Steve Buscemi! The next minute Plissken is surfing a mini-tsunami through LA!! This film really delivers and personally I think it makes a great sequel to NY. There's more attention to sci-fi detail, some gripping sequences and wonderful locations. The supporting cast don't do a bad job of it either. There's dramatic irony and also whatever the reverse of dramatic irony is - bits you just won't predict happening...

Kurt himself as Plissken is a joy to watch - never says a lot - you often wonder what he's thinking and Kurt plays this part of unease and uncertainty about Plissken really well. The fact Snake's reputation follows him in this film also adds to the fun factor.

There's no need to take this movie in too deeply, I did not - and that way I really got into it and enjoyed the world it portrayed. The final shot of Plissken is hilarious and made me clap out loud because it's just the perfect finalé to the world of Snake.

I really hope they bring Kurt back for a third film, because the effects could be at a whole new level in this day and age. And definitely get Shirley Walker and John Carpenter to write the music together. The progression in LA from Carpenter's classic slow synth style through to Walker's upbeat 20th century classical really interested me.

If you're looking for light entertainment, a fairly mature sci-fi romp with Kurt Russell from a time when computer effects in films were really beginning (though the use of real locations (and some big ones!) were not to be outdone by computer graphics in this film) - be sure to watch this!! Oh and please finish the trilogy Kurt!! PHAT

Predators (2010)

What starts out good ends up naff

[5/10 · 27 September 2010]

Predator being one of my favourite films this edition had a lot to live up to - and failed. For the first fifteen minutes I was engrossed, the use of the original music had my spine tingling and turned out to be the best bit for me, but that soon faded as the absurdity took over.

By the end of the movie all the nice things that it started with were washed away, and it became just another pee-take of an old franchise.

Only recently I watched Aliens vs Predator (the original) and I would probably rate that film higher and more worthy as a Predator sequel than this one. This movie was on par with Requiem - basically nonsense.

The idea works well and the characters are okay, but none of them particularly thrilling and it's clear to see the original team (with Arnie) were a far more superior bunch of hard-men than any of the wimpy characters in Predators.

The best bit of AvP for me was when a human and Predator worked together, and I was waiting for this to happen throughout Predators - and it does - very briefly at the end, but in no decent capacity as it was in AvP.

Things began to fall apart for me when Predators went down the same road as Terminator 3 - taking the mick out of the original. For example, the scene with the Yakuza chap which was just a direct rip of Billy's death in the original. They obviously thought, "Well, why didn't they show what Billy got up too in the original? I know, we'll include that fight in Predators". They shouldn't have.

Next was the bit with Brodey randomly walking back onto screen covered in mud and shouting "Do it! Kill me! Do it now!" - a complete and poor rip off of Arnie in the original. It was at that point where I started rolling my cigarette ready to leave, it was dumb, not needed and Brodey was awful doing it.

I'd say if you're a hardcore fan of the original with little desire for the AvP films, Predators will disappoint. If you don't like the original but like the AvP movies a lot, you'll get a kick out of Predators.

Verdict: Watch it when it's on TV, don't pay to see it and give the studios the impression we want more like this, cos I certainly don't. McTiernan should be the one to direct new Predator movies. Ack.

Passenger 57 (1992)

Always bet on...

[8/10 · 15 August 2010]

This is one of my favourite Snipes movies and one I'd love to see have a sequel, (though I suppose how many times can you put Snipes on a plane and have him save it? But in the style of Under Siege or Die Hard it would be great to see Snipes in a similar situation & working his no-s**t magic again.

Understandably there's something cheesy about the whole movie and people seem to dismiss it as a Die Hard clone - but that made it extra enjoyable for me. Snipes is an excellent, down to earth hero in this film. Too many of his roles - to me - seem to be over strange characters, but in this one he's just a normal down to earth guy. I prefer him playing the Axel Foley role rather than a vampire...thing.

The film itself delivers the action and shocks well and the soundtrack is wonderful. The underscore is as intense as the Die Hard music and the 80's rock really has a feel-good sound to it which made me smile.

The supporting cast are excellent and the bad guy is genuinely freaky. The shooting style of the movie is good and the stunts aren't half bad either. All in all a fun piece to watch, and with a rather random but one of my favourite one liners ever... Enjoy the movie!

Judge Dredd (1995)

Simple really

[6/10 · 27 March 2010]

Five words sum it up: Where is Judge Dredd 2? Stallone is brilliant. The supporting cast are awesome. The emotions and storyline are completely epic for someone who never read the comics. Silvestri's music & theme...da naaa NA-NA-NAAAA! AWESOME.

There may be imperfections for some people but this is one film well deserving of a sequel or 3 - I can't believe nothing has been done since '95!

I AM THE LAW! One of the greatest but sadly last great sayings of a magical era of one-liners in film history. It's like they've completely done away with it. I may be a slightly biased Sylvester fan, but GOD I'd love to hear him say those words again!!

This film is great entertainment. What more could you want? Judge Dredd 2, please :)

Predator 2 (1990)

I tell you what I believe....

[8/10 · 26 August 2009]

Glover, awesome! Paxton, random! Predator, HARDCORE! This sequel keeps you on the edge of your seat and is everything you'd expect from a "Sorry, we can't get Arnie" sequel. We'll let him off though, as it was because of Terminator 2 - but just think, Arnie WOULD have done this film if it WASN'T for T2, and that would've been something AMAZING! But for what it is Predator 2 is still a very good, epic Predator movie. And, sadly for the last time in a Predator film history, it has a STAR. Danny Glover wouldn't be my obvious choice for a Predator detective but he really, REALLY pulls it off. He get's so freaked out. I only enjoyed Saw because of his excellent performance in Predator 2. My final thought is that I'm gutted, as always, I never saw this in the cinema. The music again is brilliant and in true sequel style they haven't changed the themes, the Predator theme music is my favourite film score of all time, Predator 2 is nothing short of the first - well executed and most importantly, just like it was the first time round :) Here's to Predator 2! WANT SOME CANDY!??

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)

The Naked Truth

[9/10 · 15 August 2009]

OMFG! Where is Naked Gun 4?? Leslie Neilson at his best! I'm just dying to hear the Police Squad theme again on the big screen! They just don't make spoofs like they sued to...GRRR!! PLEEEEEASEEEE!!!!!!! Fred Ward is on form and the jokes are just outreagously brilliant - this is exactly how a spoof should be! I'll be a fool and even say OJ Simpson is amazing in this movie - everything just comes together perfectly. It's hard to call a Naked Gun movie bad - and it's virtually impossible with this movie. As I said, shame they don't quite make spoofs like this anymore - even though when they do, it generally has Neilson involved! But I've never been to the cinema to see a Naked Gun movie, and I'd LOVE to! So here's to the best spoof sequel out there. Now it's time to CASH IN! And make plenty of jokes about cashing in :P Oh, and OJ! Well, I enjoyed watching this movie again a LOT. I wish there were more spoofs with Leslie Neilson. And, like a victim of AIDS, I only had so long to enjoy a sequel to Naked Gun 33 and a Third.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Indiana 4 Ever

[7/10 · 22 May 2008]

Very good! I've been waiting a long time for them to pull their fingers out and make another Indy adventure and Crystal Skull is great entertainment! There was a lot to enjoy in this movie; Harrison Ford is superb, and it's very refreshing to see him playing the role again. The in-jokes are also pretty witty! The action in places is spectacular, although it does sometimes take a while to reach it.

I think the script could've used some work, as the bad guy lady just isn't menacing enough, and as someone else said, the bad guys are always one step behind - never ahead, which is a shame.

The use of CGI is thankfully quite un-noticeable, but there are some scenes which are a bit over the top. None the less anyone who appreciates Indiana Jones will enjoy this film!

South Park: Stanley's Cup (2006) Season 10, Episode 14

Twisted ending, real shame

[7/10 · 30 December 2007]

It's a nice episode with some very funny moments. I think what's so nice about it is that it's an unusual side of Stan to see - him helping a gang of little kids out. Also, he was getting asked a lot of questions which he couldn't answer. Normally I'd have nothing more than the sound of chuckling to say about South Park, but the ending of this one was very sad. It's the first episode I've watched and come away feeling really bad! Fair enough if thats part of the "Andy Kaufman" plan but it just wasn't fair :( I hope they revisit this storyline or the pee wee squad or whatever they're called again! I hope Ike gets justice for being beaten up and Nelson justice for dying!!!

Saw IV (2007)

Saw IV, what a bore!

[5/10 · 14 November 2007]

I never saw myself wanting to bother to see any of these movies, but now I've found myself in the cinema watching them all. We've reached Saw IV and to be honest, I was hoping for something a little different.

Saw IV is Jigsaw back-story time, and frankly it's a bit boring. We all know he's a freak, and all we really learn this time is the consequence that led him to start killing people.

I was pretty certain after Saw 3 that there was going to be a new twist, and a new turn, but there really wasn't. It's more of the same.

Nobody wins except Jigsaw. We kind of figured that out after Saw 2, yet it continued in Saw 3. From Saw 3 I started to believe other people were going to take over his work, but with Saw IV its back to Tobin Bell. And I'm bored of Tobin Bell. They should bring back a real star, like Danny Glover. His appearance in the original Saw was fantastic!

Saw 5 is just going to be more of the same. The only thing that'll drag me to the cinema to see it is if I'm certain there's some famous, like, REALLY famous people in it and THEY'RE going to get mashed up.

Back to Saw IV though, sure, it's fun, there are great moments, but the detectives this time round are boring. The SWAT guy is lame. Tobin Bell provides the best performance but he's still old news. Also, all the integration of time and how it all links in with Saw 3 and such just left me confused & bewildered, and left the cinema thinking - what the hell? I just hope Saw V has some real star talent (bring back GLOVER!), less Jigsaw, and something completely unexpected.

None the less, Saw IV is worth watching if you want to know how the story is progressing.

Saw: Shocking! Saw 2: Fun! Saw 3: Gruesome! Saw 4: Boring!

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

4.Oh Dear - a good action movie, but not a Die Hard movie

[5/10 · 9 July 2007]

I was always very worried when I heard a new Die Hard film was on its way, especially after learning that John McTiernan was not directing. However, the trailer raised some hopes for me - things looked pretty good.

Before I continue, I want you to know, I AM a Die Hard "Die Hard" fan. I really did give 4.0 a chance, but I came out of the cinema thinking; "That was John McClane in an ordinary action movie, that wasn't a Die Hard movie".

My main concern was how the music was going to keep the production up. When the lights dimmed & the movie started, I wept with joy as I heard Kamen's "Die Hard" motive in the music. As I watched, I could instantly tell the camera-work was going to be completely different in this film to the others, and it was. But I thought, providing the score is accurate to the previous Die Hard movies, everything would be alright.

But oh how disappointed I was. The score quickly moved from Kamen's "Die Hard" to "Just another generic action movie score". Which was a great shame. Without the Die Hard music, I was having trouble really believing it was a Die Hard movie.

As an action film, this movie is very good. The action is well thought out, great fun to watch & not to over the top with CG, which is a VERY good thing. But somehow, it just didn't work for me.

Sadly, Bruce Willis' amazing talents playing McClane were devastated in this movie. He had very little screen time compared to the majority of the other characters. There were never any scenes where we would see his face & some expressions for more than 3 seconds. In previous Die Hard's, the camera would always hold on McClane to see how he reacts to what's being said to him. Completely not the case here.

The editing was very average & generic of an action movie. It wasn't edited like previous Die Hard films. There were some fantastic shots in there but really only "some", the majority were plain & boring. McClane had too few lines, everyone else got to say far more than he did. Everything else they said was pretty mundane, and everything he got to say, was never quite that thrilling.

Sadly, as with most films - if you've seen the trailer, you've pretty much seen all the best bits. Again, the case with Die Hard 4.0.

I have more gripes, too. Firstly, the bad guys. They're all a bunch of weedy, boring geeks. None of them have any slique or style, or real menace about them like the Gruber brothers or even Colonel Stuart. Also, what they're doing really didn't seem like a threat. No innocent people were killed giving McClane MUCH MORE of a reason to take the "terrorists" out. And at moments when there are huge crashes, McClane doesn't get frustrated about people being injured/dying. McClane's conscience is ESSENTIAL to a Die Hard movie but it really did NOT show in 4.0. Granted, when the taxi is smashed, he does care for the driver :)

Secondly, the fact they've made it PG-13. This is a MAJOR problem. When I go to Die Hard, I want to feel like an adult integrating into McClane's world. I didn't. I felt like a child, being given a sneak preview of what McClane's adult life is like. Coarse banter is again an essential part of McClane.

And even if it isn't, why has he become so clean without any explanation? Why has he given up smoking?

Also, I've read here that some people loved the references to other Die Hard movies. I noticed 1, it made me laugh, but it was pretty lame. It would've been nice if he'd reminisced about his time with Zeus, or mentioned Al. Those would've been better moments for me.

Also, the bad guy's final line; "And on your headstone McClane, it'll read; Always in the wrong place at the wrong time." This SUCKED. That was a throw in quote to make people chuckle and it SUCKED. He just comes out with it, it's completely out of context (because during the movie McClane is BARELY in the wrong place ever at the wrong time). Also, this is a phrase only McClane would know from Die Hard 2. So how does the bad guy know to come out with it? It was a disappointing, sucky one liner.

The death of the bad guy is also incredibly short & lame. So is the title; Die Hard 4.0 - that is an absolutely awful, boring name. Why couldn't we have had "Live Free or Die Hard" in the UK?

All in all, it was a good action movie, but it wasn't a Die Hard movie. They've catered far too much for a new, younger audience than Die Hard's older audience. McClane is a dying breed, if this is his last film - he really has NOT gone out with a bang. He's kind of fizzled out slowly & boringly.

Sincerely though, I hope that isn't the last. If there is to be another with Bruce, I hope to God its more of a trip down memory lane (like Rocky Balboa) rather than just-another-action movie.

There's lots more to say but if I keep going I will just feel even more disappointed. So, as per always, here's my list of favourite Die Hards; 1. Die Hard (obviously) 2. Die Hard with A Vengeance 3. Die Hard 2: Die Harder 4. Die Hard 4.0

Rocky Balboa (2006)

Rocky wins again

[10/10 · 18 March 2007]

Rocky Balboa is a splendid film, presumably the finale to the entire series. It has only been in recent years that I've come to particularly appreciate the Rocky films - but without a doubt, Rocky Balboa is a true success story of just how superb sequels are when their original writers and directors are on board.

Stallone brings out all of the old emotions with a limited array of effects, which work nicely. There is nothing over the top about this film. It's very down to earth & although it's cheesy in places - that I believe is exactly what you'd expect from a Rocky movie if you truly enjoy them.

Paulie is back and he is the same as ever, which is wonderful, and Rocky's restaurant is such a lovely touch to the film. All the way through I was waiting for the cheesy flash-back of his original trainer, Mickey - but was pleasantly surprised with the way he re-appeared in this film. Seeing Adrian as Rocky once saw her was another beautiful touch.

All in all, hats off to Sylvester. This movie really touched me!

Last Action Hero (1993)

To be, or not to be?

[10/10 · 1 February 2007]

Hey Claudius! This is probably my favourite Arnie movie of them all! Why? Because it's the one that completely mocks himself, the situations he always finds himself in AND the way he talks!! It couldn't have been made better. As he always does, McTiernan takes us on a roller-coaster ride through the life of Jack Slater and Danny Madigan, trapped inside his favourite action movie.

There are twists and turns, the action is over the top and Arnie even acts convincingly. I always find that McTiernan films have a special element - you think it's getting close to the end, but then the story takes a completely different turn and you're in for another 40 minutes of entertainment, which I love.

Talking about this movie is pointless, you just have to see it. It's a parody like no other, it's amazing! There are some great quotes in this film too.

I remember a couple of years ago someone said to me, "There's something rotten in the state of Denmark..." and I replied - uhh, have you seen Last Action Hero? He said no, and I explained he'd just accurately quoted a line in the movie.

McTiernan also takes the mick out of his own film, Die Hard. You should listen to the music too, which plays the "Die Hard" melody. This kind of intertextuality sends shivers down my spine, and it's doing it now and I'm only thinking about it!! Also, the part where he pulls the driver out of a taxi and yells "Billy bunting baby bubba bobba...HA! You did NOT know I was going to say that!!" or something, is insanely funny. You have to see it to believe it!! :) Well done Mr McTiernan, well done Mr Schwazenegger!

Critical Mass (2001)

Careful, I'm about to moan...!

[8 January 2003]

Awful. I can't even beleieve it got screened. The first 10 minutes ARE awful, as they did just use clips from Terminator (of the attack on the Cyberdyne building). I can't state how appalling it is. You can sit there and just know whats going to happen. One guy pushes a table and ... yes, you guessed it, it falls out of a window, then some guy unloads several clips of ammo into the police cars, etc etc.

The rest of the film hard my heart... Well, normal actually. The writer of the film could easily have been a 12 year old. From the first moment you hear the security guard saying "I always have bad luck" then someone else in the cast telling him "I hope your luck changes soon" every few minutes, you know the out-come of the movie.

Random slaughtering. A bad guy that makes you just want to punch him cos he's so pathetic, poor gun-fights, terrorists that would make you wet yourself - with laughter, and such.

The film takes itself too seriously. The only bonus is the young lady in it. She's a bit of cinematic "alright" ;)

Tremors (1990)

There's nothing bad to say.

[10/10 · 8 January 2003]

There's something new under the sun, and yes, it's called originality, which this film has.

Tremors, still my all time favourite film, will not let you down. If you love comic horror, then you'll love Tremors. Back in the days when computer generated effects were minimal, or moreso very costly, Tremors brings some excellent puppetry work and scale models.

The acting isn't bad either. In fact, it's brilliant. I certainly believe it's Kevin Bacon at his best. Fred Ward is genius too. All the characters are great, there's some very nice character development too. It's funny how they even credit one of the people (Old Fred) who's merely a dead body in the film.

I don't want to rabbit on, because I could for years. The story is almost flawless, (the only questions left un-answered are where the monsters actually come from, but watch the following sequels and you'll be clearly told how, why and where they came from) the acting is superb, Troost's accompnying soundtrack is also very eerie, yet it's mixture with blues is just superb.

All in all, Wilson & Maddock laid a very fine table, and Underwood made a very tasty four course meal on top of it. Well worth watching.