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StClair59
Reviews
A Christmas Story (1983)
Why Is This Even Considered A Classic?
I remember watching this movie in choir class back in high school, and then I tried watching it again in college. Except for a few parts, all I have to say is "What's the big deal?" This movie is just plain annoying. The characters are like, way too dramatic (Spoiler warning!)...the kids (including the brother) whine *all the time, all way throughout the movie,* the main character imagines having "soap poisoning" and his parents cry like their son's going to die any minute, Santa and his elves are a bunch of jerks, the father is implied to be cursing but is speaking gibberish, the people at the Chinese restaurant sing "Deck the Halls" very poorly...I just don't get why this movie is so popular. Seriously, if the TV station who does a marathon of this movie is going to do a 24-hour marathon of a real Christmas classic, why don't they use "It's a Wonderful Life" or "The Santa Clause?" *These* are what you call Christmas classics...not this pathetic excuse for a Christmas movie.
Holes (2003)
We Dig Holes!
I had read the book "Holes" in the past (like in the sixth grade), and three years later, I saw the movie on the way home from a band trip. My sister and I love this movie! She, like me, had also read the book in the sixth grade. We got this movie when we were in Florida, and the night we came home, my mother, Shannon (the sister) and I watched it. "Holes" is one of the best movies that Disney has ever made! The characters are great. The dialogue is made out well (except for a few bad words, but nothing serious like what is found in more than 90 percent of movies nowadays). Many people think that the book is always better than the movie, but my sis and I think this movie is better than the book it was based on. In the book: What became of Ms. Walker (the Warden), Mr. Pendanski, and Mr. Sir? (Possible Spoiler!) In the movie: Mr. Pendanski, Mr. Sir, and Ms. Walker become counselors of a more fun place than Camp Green Lake (which, by the way, had the wrong name because it was practically a desert). If you ever get the chance to see "Holes" (and/or read the book), I bet you will love it. Here are three words to describe this movie: "We Dig Holes!!!"
Heathers (1988)
Sounds Pretty, Okay, Really Stupid!
This movie was made the year I was born, and I still haven't seen it. Who in their right minds would? It's just about a bunch of girls (three out of four with the same name) who totally need their mouths washed out. (Spoiler Warning!) They curse and use terrible vocabulary (mostly the a-word, the s-word, the f-word, etc.) as well as kill people for no good reason at all. This is all from what I read on this website, which I've posted several other comments on in the past. This isn't comedy, this is just plain stupid! And the name Veronica is always given to a snobby person! I mean, what's up with that!? If you like this and other movies in which the characters use the worst language ever (like Erin Broko, um, Witch), I personally think (no offense) you need your ears examined. (I hate profanity, so that's just my opinion.)
Band Camp (2005)
One Time At Band Camp...
...I actually had a good time (well, sometimes, especially during my sophomore and junior years) and people were decent! I have one question: Why do they keep making these movies? A friend of mine actually likes this movie (she had "One Time At Band Camp" printed on her section's shirts, which was pretty cool), but I just don't understand why. In my opinion, the American Pie movies are nothing but trash. Whoever keeps coming out with these movies has taken a perfectly innocent and great subject to write and make a movie about (like band camp) and ruined it with all this graphic sex-related mess and porn. If you want to see an awesome band movie-go see Drumline!!!
Doug (1991)
For Those Of You Who Dig Doug, Like Me...
This show was awesome! I used to watch Doug when I was younger, and whoever says the Disney's Brand Spanking New Doug is not as good, what are y'all talking about!? I believe the Disney version of Doug was great too. Doug was an awesome person, along with his best friend, Skeeter, his long-time crush, Patti Mayonnaise, his dramatic, Shakespeare-obsessed sister Judy, his faithful dog Porkchop, and Roger Klotz, the bully. I miss this show!!! Ever since Nickelodeon replaced the classics such as this, Rocko's Modern Life (another old favorite of mine), Hey Arnold!, Pete & Pete, and Kablam! with shows like iCarly, Jimmy Neutron, and Zoey 101 (not that I dislike these shows), Nickelodeon's just not all that good anymore. Even on YouTube there are only one or two real episodes (many of the Doug episodes are dubbed by some stupid jerks who just ruin them by cursing in them). To those of you who have the same opinion: You all are absolutely right! To Nickelodeon: Give the shows like Doug and Rocko's Modern life back to the people that deserve them!
Carrie (2002)
Totally Better Than The Original!!!
For those of you who hate the 2002 version of Carrie: Please! I watched most of the new version on YouTube, and I have decided that it is tons better than the 1976 version of Carrie (for those of you that agree, please read my comment on the old movie). For one thing, although (spoiler warning!) there is some skin shown in the scene where Carrie gets her period, not everything, so to speak, is shown (probably because it is a TV movie). Carrie's mom, Margaret (more spoilers!) is still psycho, but even though she tries to drown her own daughter after she comes home from prom, she is not nearly as bad as she was in the original movie. Chris, although she is still a snob, is not as, well, filthy as she was in the 1976 version. Carrie's prettier and Tommy is cuter in this version too. Another thing (spoilers again!): Carrie does not die, unlike in the old one when the house falls on her. When she is attacked by her mom, she causes her mom to have a heart attack, then Sue Snell (her sort-of-new-friend, the one who set Carrie up with her own boyfriend, Tommy, for prom) saves her. Carrie is believed to have died like her mother, but she has really changed her appearance and Sue is driving her to Florida. For those who like the original, like it all you want. For those who like the 2002 movie: I totally agree that this one is a whole lot better than the original. If you like the cleaner versions of scary movies, such as Psycho and Carrie, and you can't find them out on VHS/DVD, then I recommend (if you have easy access to the Internet) you check them out on YouTube!
Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)
Fried Green Tomatoes (At The Whistle Stop Cafe)!
My mother, sister, and I love this movie. The characters, Evelyn (Kathy Bates), Ninny (Jessica Tandy), Idgie (Mary Stuart Masterson), and Ruth (Mary-Louise Parker) are awesome. Even though Fried Green Tomatoes was actually filmed somewhere in Georgia, it is actually supposed to be set in Alabama (my home state!!!). There really is (or was) a Whistle Stop Cafe in Irondale, Alabama, and someday I would like to eat there. This movie rocks! And, those of you who say Fried Green Tomatoes is a gay movie and that Idgie is a lesbian-Stop saying that! My mom, sister, dad, and I have seen this movie several times, and there's no gay going on in it. Plus, Idgie is *not* a lesbian; she's just a tomboy. If you have not seen this movie, go out and rent it! This is a must-see for anybody who is proud of living in the South!
I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
What The Mess Happened To Her!!!!!?????
I used to think Lindsay Lohan was a pretty good person. Not anymore! She used to be a great actress, but ever since after she accused Ashlee Simpson (who I love!) of stealing her boyfriend (*she* can't say much because *she* supposedly stole another person's boyfriend) and partying with Britney and Paris, she has become, like, so messed up it's annoying! She swears in this movie, she drinks and does drugs, she can't get along with anybody. Lohan used to star in good kids' movies and shows (mostly Disney), and now she's involved in "R"-rated movies!!??? I've never seen this movie, and don't plan to. Lindsay Lohan used to be a great celebrity-now she is a pathetic excuse for a role model.
Rocko's Modern Life (1993)
That (Show) Was A HOOT!!!
Rocko's Modern Life was one of my all-time favorite shows as a kid. It is about a wallaby named Rocko, his dog who (possible spoiler) eats *everything*, Spunky, his two best friends, Heffer Wolfe (a steer) and Filburt (a turtle), and his froggy neighbors, Ed and Beverly Bighead. I love Rocko, and, whoever says that Nickelodeon isn't all that good anymore, I agree! I'm not saying I hate iCarly and those other new shows (I may think they'd be okay if I ever get the chance to watch them), but ever since Jimmy Neutron and some of the other new shows took the places of Doug, Pete & Pete, Aah! Real Monsters, Rocko's Modern Life, and the other Nickelodeon classics, Nick's totally not the same anymore, and I hate that! My cousin Jordan told me Rocko didn't come on anymore, and I kind of had that feeling and was like, "I hate that!" However, if you have easy access to the Internet, don't fret. You can still watch some of the fun episodes about Rocko, Heffer, Filburt, Spunky, and all their craziness on a little website-it's called YouTube!
Mommie Dearest (1981)
"Hey! Hey! You! You! I Don't Like Your Mother!"
I have seen Mommie Dearest when I was younger, and I have to say it is one of the absolute worst movies ever! Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) is the adoptive mother of Christina, who is telling her side of the story. I have to admit, I'm not sure whose side is true, but in this movie, Joan is nothing but a two-faced (witch) who says she loves her daughter but is just plain horrible to her! I mean, she wants Christina to be perfect. That's why she (spoiler warning!) tries to make her eat raw meat (My mom, sister and I personally like our meat well-done, too!); she has a swimming contest with her daughter than gloats when Christina loses, then Christina says it's not fair so Joan spanks her and locks her up in a pool house. Then (more spoilers!) when she hangs her dresses on wire hangers Joan yells at her and beats her with a hanger (I don't care for wire hangers either, but my goodness!); Joan makes Christina scrub the floor, beats her, chokes her, and fusses at her constantly, expecting her daughter to call her "Mommie Dearest," which sure as flip is not the right name for her. Well, guess what, Miss Crawford? Like it or not, you are this child's mother and you don't show her a part of the love she tries to show you. I hope someday you can live a decent life without wanting to be perfect, but, you know what? Your daughter's not going to be perfect (until she gets to Heaven), and neither are you! Nobody's perfect, so deal with it!!!!! To the viewers: If you like this movie, good for you. Whoever doesn't, I don't blame you.
Remember the Titans (2000)
Touchdown, Titans!!!!!
I had first seen Remember the Titans when I was at church camp, and a few years later, I watched it in choir class. This is one of the greatest movies ever made! I was in the marching band all four years of high school ( I went to Pinson Valley, home of the Indians!), so I have been to every Pinson Valley High School football game (except for the jamboree games, which were not mandatory for band members) while in high school. I really miss those days now that I have just graduated, but I like high school football (I even go to some of the games). Remember the Titans is about that - high school football games on Friday nights! If you have never seen it, you should! Personally, I love this movie, and if it were a football team, it would make a touchdown!!!!!!
Forrest Gump (1994)
A Classic To Be!!!
My family and I have seen Forrest Gump at least 15-20 times (I'm guessing here) and we think it is a pretty good movie. Sure, there are some things that we don't like about the movie, such as some adult-related scenes and the language use (especially the g-word being used over and over). I mean, I personally would have rated Forrest Gump a 9, maybe a 10, if it weren't for all the profanity. Other than that little (okay! big) problem, the movie's great! Except for a few sad parts, the movie's funny. My sister and I like to quote Forrest Gump (a good movie is as a good movie does-LOL!!!), and the movie is supposed to take place in Alabama (my home!). If you think this is the worst movie on the planet, you better think twice. This is one of the greatest movies of all time (besides the language). I think in the next several years, Forrest Gump will be a classic...awesome movie!!!!!!!!!!
What Lies Beneath (2000)
Good...If You Like The People Overdoing It!
I first saw What Lies Beneath when I was in the eighth grade. I have to admit, there are worse movies, but there are also better ones. Michelle Pfeiffer's character tends to overdo things. I mean, she's pretty accident-prone, hurting herself all the way through the movie and she almost drowns, like, four times. (I bet that's why my mother's like, "Seems she'd be scared of water!") Plus, the movie's pretty grim and dismal. I know it's supposed to be a somewhat scary movie, but, please, can't it have, like, more "life" to it, too? I mean, the movie could have had a livelier ending, like Claire Spencer (Michelle Pfeiffer) getting to see her daughter again. All in all...not the worst movie, but personally, I've seen movies that are totally better.
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Dude Looks Like A....Lady!? Totally Funny!
Mrs. Doubtfire is truly one of the funniest movies ever made. Both my parents like it; my sister and I absolutely love it!!!!! Here, Robin Williams is dressed as a 60-year-old lady as a way to see his kids, since his ex-wife, Miranda (Sally Field) has custody of them, at least, most of the time. There are a lot of scenes I practically laugh at. One part is where Daniel (or Mrs. Doubtfire-played by Williams) is at his apartment, trying to dress as the old woman, and two Oriental boys see him and are laughing at him. Another part is where all five of the main characters, plus Stu (Miranda's smoking hot boyfriend) are at the pool. Stu calls Daniel a loser, not knowing that the person whom he called a loser was right there. Daniel/Mrs. Doubtfire throws a fruit at him, and says "some angry member of the kitchen staff" threw it. Stu walks away, then Daniel makes a remark about a "good waste of juice" and someone *else* calls him a loser. I would totally recommend Mrs. Doubtfire to everybody, because it is all-around hilarious!!!!!!!!
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (1992)
Not The Best Movie I've Seen, But Not The Worst, Either
I'm not an "R" rated movie person, but, I have to admit, my sister and I had gotten into this movie when we were younger. However, shortly after I had reached high school, it was played on the TV a *little* too much (about four times in one year). The Hand That Rocks The Cradle is an interesting movie, about a woman who has it going for her- a good husband and two great kids (despite the fact she has asthma), and another woman who is basically a boldfaced liar. I mean, Rebecca DeMornay's character, "Peyton" (if that is her name), loses her husband, a doctor who supposedly treats Annabella Sciorra's character, Claire (the one with the kids and the hubby) "the wrong way." Shortly after, she loses her baby, so she goes through a lot of pain (and I mean, pain). She poses as a nanny, and while the other characters think she's great, she really is going through her plan: to kill Claire because of her husband's suicide after Claire accused him of "being improper" to her. She also plans to steal Emma and Joe (the kids). Peyton lies throughout the movie about everything-from her last name to her "job as a nanny" to "worrying about Claire" when she has gone to see Peyton's old house. This is an interesting movie, but it would have been a lot better if it weren't for all the adult-related scenes and some of the profanity.
King of the Hill (1997)
The Best Show Ever, I Tell You What!!!
My dad started watching King of the Hill the year it first came out. I have gotten to be a huge fan of the show, too! It is hilarious, the characters rock, and it is a country-type show, and I am a country girl at heart! My dad likes Dale because he has a friend who is just like him: crazy and a redneck who looks just like Dale (my sis claims she gets James-Dad's friend-mixed up with Dale, possibly because they look and act so much alike); he also likes Hank and Peggy Hill's niece Luanne. My sister likes Minh and Connie. "Hey man, I tell you what, man, both my dad and sister like dang old Boomhauer because of the dang old way he talks; man he talks dang old fast, man!" (Laugh Out Loud!!!) I like all of the main characters! This show truly is "King of the Hill!" I would recommend it to all my friends, my family, everybody because it is the best show ever, I tell you what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Money Pit (1986)
We Love the Money...I Mean, The Funny Pit!!!!!
When my parents first saw The Money Pit, they laughed all the way through it! Then, a long time after that, they introduced me and Shannon, my sister, to the movie. It is one of Shelley Long's and Tom Hanks's best ever!!! It is a Funny Farm-type thing where a couple moves somewhere, everything goes wrong, the couple get in a fight, they make up, and things turn out just fine and dandy in the end. Here, the B.F./G.F. duo Walter and Anna buy a house, which, unfortunately, falls apart, piece by piece. Later on in the movie, as the house is being fixed up, Walter and Anna get into a fight over what he thought she did with her ex, Max (she really did not do it), then, the house is finally fixed, Walter and Anna make up, then get married (they have a, like, way cool wedding). My mother, sister, and I are forever quoting this movie. We all love The Money Pit, and if you have not seen it, what you waiting for? It is one of the best movies ever made! Go out and rent it or buy it, and you will know what I'm talking about!!!!!
Erin Brockovich (2000)
What The Beep!?
Julia Roberts is a great actress, for the most part. However, Erin Brokovich is one of her worst roles ever!!! It may just be a movie, but in it she (sorry, Julia, but this is the truth) totally needs her mouth washed out with soap! Here she is, a mother of three children, cursing all over the place, saying "F word you, f word you, f word you!" in every one of her sentences! Suppose her children ended up talking like that! This movie would be a whole heck of a lot better if it weren't for all the profanity and obscene language used all the way through it. In Erin Brokovich, J.R., your two or more hours of fame are up. However, you have done much better as Shelby in Steel Magnolias and Charlotte the Spider in the new Charlotte's Web. Please stay a good actress, but please, please, please try to watch your language and use it wisely!!!!!!!!
Shrek (2001)
I Loved It! Chances Are, You Will, Too!!!!!!!!
Shrek came out when I was in seventh grade. I didn't really pay a whole lot of attention to it then, but, when I was in ninth grade I went to a football game with my band (I played the trumpet all four years in H.S.), and Shrek was being played on the bus. I fell in love with this movie instantly. Shrek, Fiona, the Donkey, and all the other characters are totally awesome. The soundtrack rocks, too! I am so much of a Shrek fan that I saw Shrek 2, loved it, and still want to see Shrek the Third. Basically, I'm like, so into Shrek it's crazy!!! Whoever came up with the idea to put all "fairy tale things," as Shrek calls Tinkerbell, Captain Hook, the Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, etc., into one hilarious, funny, totally awesome movie is, like, pure genius! Whoever has not seen Shrek, you don't know what you're missing! See it once, and you'll love it, I tell you what!!!!!