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mr_dark_eyed
Reviews
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)
Bad
I watched this with an open mind. I loved the book (LOVED) and knew (read) that the movie wasn't a direct reflection of the book , which, given the nature and style of the book, makes sense. But what I didn't expect was how shallow and bad the 'adaptation' was. I thought that when a director decides to tackle such issues and to deal with such a great book, he would try harder, or at least be much deeper, and I thought such actors would not take part in something that bad. From the very beginning I was very unsatisfied. I thought I was watching a comedy. Something very American about the first part of the movie. The scene in the spa, the way Tomas was portrayed. Too cocky. A character with no 'weight' or even flesh. It's as though the director told Daniel 2 words to describe his role before they started shooting: You are a cocky womanizer. period. The way he was inspecting Tereza after she got out of the pool! I couldn't believe that it was actually happening. I was laughing, whereas I would be reading Kundera's deep thoughts about this chance encounter. about Fate. Did Tereza really have to pick her nose while waiting at Tomas' door for the first time? Is this really the way to show us how naive and simple she is? really, what kind of woman picks her nose while standing in front of a man she has a crush on (or any man)? And did she have to act like a dumb retarded person the whole time? Tomas.. I don't remember ever meeting someone like Tomas, in real life. He is so unconvincing. It's like a kids movie where characters are either black or white, so the little ones can tell who is good and who is evil. Can't a womanizer be more subtle? OK, he is handsome and we know he sleeps around and loves women, can you now make him a real human being, so we can buy the whole story? And what about the silly accents? Are they Czech? is that why they have accents? why are they talking in English then? If you want the audience to forget about the whole language issue, then make them speak in English and forget about the accents. Lets forget about the language and focus on the dialogue. But what's the point in making a British actor fake a strange accent in order to play a Czech character who speaks English with his Czech friends???? it only helped in keeping me aware all the time that these people are acting. Sabina's character was very irritating to me, while she was very intriguing in the book. The "Stop This Noise" scene was very bad. Franz was a character with no flesh or meat. Was he a weak character? why was he agreeing with her like that? In the book, we knew enough about him (and Sabina) so we could make sense of their relationship and interaction. But not here. It's as though the director relied on the fact that we know about the characters from the book and will fill in the gaps. That's what I was doing at least, relying on my knowledge of the characters to make sense of some scenes.
I can go on...
I think if you attempt to turn this unusual book into a film, then you should be able to use unusual ways to create an unusual film with unusual structure, as opposed to the conventional usual narrative and storytelling. It takes a brave daring filmmaker to deal with such book. Mr. Kaufmann is not. He belongs in Hollywood.
This film proves one thing: if you base your lousy film on a great book, there's good chance you will get away with it, and even get praised for it.
Confessions of an American Bride (2005)
Stupid and Boring- simply put!
I guess I can't describe it in a better or shorter clearer way: Boring and Stupid. Acting? what acting? why are all the actors laughing while Reading their lines??? they just never stopped laughing or smiling even when it was the most "dramatic" moment! The "plot" was one of the most predictable plots in the history of TV. and not only is Sam a total $lut, but ugly as hell too!! what happened to that "actress"?? I remember she was hot in American Pie. here she is so damn ugly!!!! puffy face full of bags, or whatever these are. and the happy ending?? no one to tell the poor viewers that these 2 are doomed??? very soon he will wonder why he took her back (because she was hot in American Pie?? or because he used to drool over her topless pics when he was younger, on the internet??) He will soon start wondering if she ever slept with that Luke, but hiding it from him. He will soon start seeing how shallow and self centered she is. and he will hate how everyone just knows him as the husband who married the woman who kissed the other guy. (is there anyone who didn't know about her thing with Luke??) then he will start seeing other girls attractive and charming (and caring)! then he will start flirting, and maybe kissing them, making Sam taste her own poison. then will she accept his apology? or act like an ugly B!tch and go out again and kiss or flirt with the first sleazy a$$hole she meets??? so.. the actors can't act. the plot is so weak and predictable. you hate the Bride for being s|utty and selfish. the Groom for being an idiot. the 3rd person for being an arrogant dumb a$$hole.
sorry for all the swearing. but this "film" suxxxx. Big time.
Summer House (2008)
Lindsay Price
that is why I kept watching. Lindsay Price. sexy and cute!! Everything else was so boring, and I knew the 'plot' will be exactly the way it is, from the very beginning. it is the most predictable ghost film. but probably one of very few ghost movies that don't scare or thrill. Rather.. turns you on. Thanks Lindsay Price.
a 7 year old kid would laugh at the silliness and stupidity of the plot, dialogue, and every single detail.
I think that film was only made for one sole purpose.. Lindsay Price. the 3 stars go to Lindsay. since I need one more line to be able to post this, I take the chance to mention how sexy Lindsay is.
Closer (2004)
Simply.. Well Done!
I am not maybe writing a useful comment for those who didn't see the movie. Its August 2008, the film has been released 4 years ago. I saw it in 2005- and enjoyed it, and I switched on the TV last night and was happy to sit and watch it, again, for the 3rd time actually. And not so many movies that you see again and again and even like them more, the more you watch and older you get.
A great film about relationships (love, sex, betrayal, etc). I think Closer, together with Eyes Wide Shut are among the very important and great movies that deal with relationships, in our time. One is set in NY, the other in London- well, last scene again in NY.
The acting is So strong and they all fit together. Little things that you appreciate more as you watch again and again. The scene where Alice and Dan are breaking up, after confessing his affair with Anna. This scene is just great. the lines here- and through out the whole movie are just great. Portman delivers a great performance. when she asks him if he brought her to their house, then she says "you are a piece of sh!t" she is amazing. then when she asks him if he still fancies her. Again the scene where Anna is telling her husband about her affair, where he is asking her how the sex was. so realistic, and so well done. when he asks her if they had sex at their place and where.. then she pauses, swallows, and say "there.." (and I am not a big fan of Roberts). Clive is great as well. Portman in the room at the strip club.. her lines and her performance. when she keeps saying Thank You. (and she is adorable as well) the whole cast just fit together and have great chemistry that you can't believe that they all actually didn't fall in love or had crushes on each other. The editing is great, the rhythm and pace of the film. Everything just makes you sit and enjoy, and feel respected by the makers of this film. In some weak(e r) movies, the lines are misleading or not making much sense that you don't buy it at the end of the movie. Here, you finish watching and start wondering about the characters real emotions, motives, if they really did this and that, if they meant so and so.. so much to analyze and think about. The characters are 3 dimensional. and complex.
The film starts with the Line "Hello Stranger" It closes with "Welcome back Ms Jones"
The last scene with Portman- such a beauty- crossing 47th street in Manhattan, the lights are-again- red... it all might start over again..!? Perfection.
Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now f k off and die, you f k d up slag.
Frauengefängnis (1976)
Anything worse?
Can a movie get worse? ever? I bought this movie, not hoping to find great directing or acting. Just nudes and erotica, yet, the BAD acting, BAD directing and lack of anything that shows someone put some effort into making this piece of.. film, was Very annoying. The only, ONLY, good thing about this film is Martine Stedil. Sorry, but Lina Romay just doesn't do it for me. Martine is a Beauty. And you get to see close ups of her 'private' parts! Other than that, the film is Awful. The lack of respect to the viewer shows in every scene. It was like watching a film made for the mentally retarded. Films for children would still be more clever. I'm saying this, and I didn't expect to watch something intellectual or artsy.. just beautiful nude girls being canned, raped, abused, etc. Yet I just couldn't swallow the amount of sh** in this 'film'. 2/10 for the presence of Martine Stedil.
Chung Hing sam lam (1994)
I DIDN'T Like It
I was disappointed after/while watching this film. I loved 'In the mood for love' and also loved 2046. I liked Days of being wild less. But this one was far from the other 3. Faye's character is like mentally retarded or something. was she supposed to be so? and if it's the case, still it was VERY irritating. The first story is boring and unreal. I couldn't relate to the characters,nor their lines. People here say/do things, normal people wouldn't say/do in real life. To me it was one of the main reasons I couldn't enjoy it. The drug dealer looked more like a cross dresser or a man wearing a wig. This character had no weight (and most of the other ones too). The cop.. well.. I never believed he was really a cop. More like a soft, heartbroken high school student. Why should I care at all for him if he decided to fall in love with the first woman (man wearing a blonde wig) that enters the bar? Am I supposed to care about the 2 of them (one of them is a drug dealer and we r given no reason to like)? So by the time the first story ends, you are still waiting for someone in the film to care about, and thus care about the film itself. The fact that Faye went to Cali just like that, instead of meeting him in the café/diner.. and came back as... guess what.. an air hostess! c'mon...
I liked some scenes and metaphors, though. The scene were we first see the air hostess at his place, with the instructions playing in the background. The metaphor of the flat crying (when it was flooded with water) or jogging to lose water so as not to cry. the canned memories.. These were typical Kar-Wai.
I wonder if 3-Iron was influenced by that film. The idea of visiting flats when no one is there, cleaning and changing things around.. and playing the same song over and over. Maybe not, but it just reminded me of the Korean movie, especially that both characters didn't speak much. Anyway I'm glad that Wong Kar-wai made better movies after. It shows how he grew along the way.. and if In The Mood, and 2046 are his last movies, then he is going on the right track. Of course they all feel like one long movie, all with the same idea, more or less, but he was able to present those ideas in a much better, solid and engaging way in the last 2.
Click (2006)
ZZZZZZzzzz
I'm not a fan of Adam Sandler, yet it's not why I hated this movie. First of all it was very predictable. The moment her jumped on bed in that Bed and Bath, I knew he was going to wake up 10 minutes before the end of the movie and save it all. And as the movie dragged on and he never woke up I was getting worried.. when is this movie going to end. I think I had the same feeling Adam had when he had to wait for a couple of month to get promoted and just had to press >> on his blue universal remote control. Lots of bad jokes and I don't remember laughing once. I knew I was going to watch some stupid easy-watching American happy-ending comedy, still this was very disappointing. Comedies can be much much more intelligent and entertaining. Adam doesn't know how to act. sometimes it felt like he was reading his lines from behind the camera. no expression on his face. The silly jokes are endless.. the "can I go to the bathroom".. or the dog 'wrestling' with that yellow thing. the arab prince habeeboo.. hmm.. i can keep going. and now I'm thinking of one good joke and I cant remember one. (and what's with the assistance changing sex??) The only thing I guess was enjoyable in this 'movie' was watching Kate Beckinsale and her 'rockin body'. I think I won't give Mr. Adam any more chances. I'm done with him! In brief: -Too predictable -Too long -Too stupid -Bad acting -Bad jokes -Tries to be a drama -Tries to be a comedy -Adam is in it -Kate is hot -Only Adam can fastforward, you can't!