joecantongamingguru Reviews

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Indy is back- but a little differently......

[10/10 · 31 May 2008]

**********WARNING THIS HAS SPOILERS***************

Now Indy is a classic film presence, no matter where or what hes in. I've been hearing internet fanboys bashing this film to the ground and in the dirt because of Lucas's story. Now, its nowhere near par to Raiders or Crusade, but its still very competent and is very well written with great wit and some cool dialogue that pulls the movie throughout. I went yesterday at 3:15 and it was packed! A cool 50 people were in the theater, and its been a week that its been in the theater! Now, about the movie. The film starts off with a group of teens driving next to a army transport. They take Mac and Indy out the car, then Cate Blanchett playing Ivana(sp) and is asking help to find a mysterious box in the warehouse. Indy finds it and inside, Ivana opens it and finds a weird hand with three fingers, which will come later in the story. Then Indy escapes, but I forgot one major plot point. Our friend Mac is on the bad side and betrays Indy after all their adventures. Now remember the hand, turns out it was a alien. Surprise! This is what the fanboys were over defensive about. But I find it to be a cool idea and a weird twist for Indy. Now, turns out the crystal skull(in the title) which Indy is looking for is the skull of a alien clan, which is in a tomb full of other alien skeletons. When Ivana catches up with them, she puts it on and the alien opens a portal to the third dimension. He then kills Ivana and a UFO pulls out and flies away. Now, this might sound a bit far-fetched and weird, but the sci-fi twist is actually good. Now, lets talk about characters. Mary is back....with the same actress. How many times have you heard that in film revivals? Anyway, the main thing that stands out is Shia LaBaouf(sp) which plays Mutt Williams, but later you figure out his name is Henry Jones Jr.III. Yep, hes Indy's son. Cate Blanchett was good as well, and she of course is necessary, but your wondering the whole movie when she is going to die. The script is strong and well written. And the directing is just spectacular! Its Steven Spielberg! Now, a lot of people might not like this film, and you know why? Because ever since they knew the originals, they've stuck with that forever. So when a classic trilogy gets revived, you really think everything is going to stay the same? No. Now, I personally think we should start calling it, "The Indiana Jones Series". So Indy is back and better than ever........with a scene with his arch-enemy....snakes.

OVERALL-10 out of 10 GREAT

Iron Man (2008)

Iron Man is the next Spider-Man

[10/10 · 4 May 2008]

Iron Man is a one-two punch. It hits you with a great, imaginative story in the beginning and then turns into a action flick with many surprises and great dialogue. I know a lot of people say Downey is great, but he's more than great.....he IS Iron Man. The film's great direction, great dialogue(especially between Tony and Pepper Potts(Gwyneth Paltrow)) and a great comedic wit. The jokes went perfect and the crowd got the jokes and laughed. The action sequences generated the most "ooh" and "aah"'s. The acts are all great, the first was generally story and his great escape with the Mark I. The second act was him coming home and working on the Iron Man. And the third, I might not even spoil it. Just watch the trailer before you leave, get there hyped and you'll enjoy it a lot. And be sure to stay after the credits, that will leave you satisfied. This movie is flawless. Overall- 10 out of 10

Superhero Movie (2008)

Whoa.....

[6/10 · 6 April 2008]

This is the first parody film I actually liked a little, since the first Scary Movie. The movie follows Drake Bell from Nickelodeon's Drake & Josh, he plays Rick Riker, a idiot who falls too much. The bad part of this film is the jokes that are overused. Some jokes with Drake are beaten and overused, like the beginning sight gag when he hits the mirror on the bus. That was fine, but he then gets up, gets hit by the stop sign, and then the opening doors. I think they went too far after that. the saving grace for me was the time Leslie Nielsen was in the film, playing the Uncle Ben role. The main spoof of the whole film is Spider-Man, which can be noticed from the first few scenes. Jill Johnson is the spoof Mary-Jane Watson, her character is fine. The main villain in the film is a Green Goblin wannabe who can grab his victims and age them to death. The films sight gags are overused at times, but some of the jokes are fresher than others. This is the second spoof move this year, and this is definitely the better one. It's Superhero Movie and Meet the Spartans. Meet the Spartans sucked, it was terrible. But there is hope for this one. I would say go see it if you like spoof movies from Craig, the director. Or just wait until the DVD.

Shutter (I) (2008)

I'm tired of this already.....

[4/10 · 23 March 2008]

It was between this and Meet the Browns. And since I had only seen Diary of a Mad Black Woman, I caught the 10:15 showing at my local theater. It was packed! But yet, i don't know why. The movie was terrible. Well, all you need to know about this film is that there are ghosts in the pictures. That's it. The acting is tasteless, and the haunting sound effects and music fit the mood, but doesn't help this film. In some points in the film, the pictures will creep you out. But this wont give you nightmares, unlike The Exorsict. This film, of course is a Remake of another film of the same name. Just like The Eye. Stay away from this one, at best, its a rental. But to pay money to watch it in theaters,no.

Horton Hears a Who! (2008)

Very Well Done Film

[7/10 · 6 March 2008]

I'm telling the truth...i thought this movie would be a stinker from the teaser trailer and TV spots but this surprised me as well as every other person at the screening. It even surprised the film operator! Anyway, the great voice cast voiced by some great actors, Jim Carrey and Steve Carrell and even Seth Rogen(which is a nice change for him, from all his dirty cursing roles(don't get me wrong,i love him in those roles)). Dane Cook was a little annoying, but it wont really distract you from the big picture. In this film, Steve Carrell is the Mayor of Who-Ville, a town on a dandelion full of tiny people. Jim Carrey plays Horton...who is a elephant who finds a dandelion, picks it and figures out he must protect it because of Who-ville. Seth Rogen plays a rat like creature in his role. A supporting cast with Amy Poehler, Jonah Hill, Dan Fogler and much more. This film is great for little kids and a surprising delight for adults.

Married Life (2007)

One of the best work's of romance in years!

[8/10 · 6 March 2008]

This movie is astonishing. All i repeated as i came back from the movie was damn, that was great. And i repeated parts of the film that were either very funny or i thought were really greatly written. Pierce Brosnan, which some of you may know from his role as James Bond in Goldeneye, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day and many more. He is spectacular in this film, and i don't know how he could have topped off Matador...seems like he found it out. There are some actors I'm not really familiar with, but with their performances in this film, i could safely say this will lead them to way better movies and even a Oscar. This film has its strong points,like writing, directing, acting and the whole concept. The only weak point was the film was slow in some parts. And the best writing in the whole movie, at least in my opinion....was the Marital Counselor talking to the man and his wife about their problems.

College Road Trip (2008)

An Okay Film

[5/10 · 5 March 2008]

This film goes to show that you can be on top of the world and fall all the way down. With "Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins","Wild Hogs" and now "College Road Trip" under Lawrence's belt, i don't know how much more he can take. This movie is pretty standard "Cheaper by the Dozen" film. With all the sight gags and kiddy jokes about pigs and dancing, and, of course the soft spot for tolerance. Donny Osmond was straight forward in this film and Lawrence was really exaggerated as a goofy dad. Raven Symone played a OK part, but not a real big leap forward for the young actress. Of course, this doesn't mean the film is all bad. The movie, in its quirky way is funny. With its zany comedy style, like animal humor and kiss jokes...this film reaches to little kids. If you have young ones, this wont be bad for them, but for you...its okay.

10,000 BC (2008)

Screening Reactions

[5/10 · 5 March 2008]

And it looks like the crowd wasn't into it. The movie's special effects are a little difficult to top....but warriors from 10,000 BC and they're talking English with perfect grammar? From the trailers and big billboards in NY, it appears the film will be different than anything else.....but the curve ball is thrown as you seen the words:From the director of Independence Day and the Day After Tomorrow. Im not fooling', Independence Day was OK, but Day After Tomorrow was just a special effects demo, no more, no less. 10,000 BC is exactly the same as these films but with sabretooth tigers and mammoths. Sorry folks, but if your really wanting to see this one, best wait till the DVD. Or, if you really want to see it...it will be online for free in a matter of days. There were some above average scenes, but overall...no.

Meet the Spartans (2008)

Don't Even Need This Review To Understand This Is Crap

[1/10 · 3 March 2008]

The whole movie is of course meant to target 13 year olds to 16 year olds. These are the kids who say, "Have you seen Date Movie?!? Its the best movie ever!". Of course, Meet the Spartans is worse than all those films put together. And this isn't on the bottom 100 list. Why? The main problem with this film is the acting, it blows. The script should be banned from the US. For example:Bond Villain,"Tell me the access code Mr. Bond!" Leonidas in a stupid voice and jerking his head,"Who the hell is Mr.Bond? Im freaking' Leonidas...". Just horrible. This movie is officially not funny. The plot is riddled with holes, the script is terrible, special effects and backdrops suck, cast is crap and the directing is worse than anthing I've ever seen. This movie should be avoided at all costs. The only reason i actually saw this movie(i saw it online for free) is because of Nicole Parker. She is a hilarious talent and shouldn't waste it for this piece of work that they call Meet The Spartans. I give this movie a 1 out of 10.

Semi-Pro (2008)

Semi Pro is a Slam Dunk!

[8/10 · 1 March 2008]

Semi-Pro is the new comedy from Will Ferrell...and it scores a 8 out of 10 just like his previous outing, Blades of Glory. He returns to spots comedies....again and nails what the 70's were:Bad hair,cheesy music and promoting sports events. In this film, Ferrell plays Jackie Moon...a singer who cranked out a hit single and with that money, buys a cheap team called the Flint Michigan Tropics. He is the coach/promoter/player, but mostly the promoter. Andre' Benjamin plays Clarence "Coffee Black" and Woody Harelson(hope i spelled right) plays Moanix. The beginning starts out very strong and keeps you laughing. There are some parts where this film is slow....but these parts are few and far between. All the characters in this film will grow on you and are very well developed. The ending was a great finish to this movie, but if it was in any other movie, it would have been unacceptable. I was able to catch the 2:40 showing, so if there are any other showings today...don't even hesitate. If you like Will Ferrell, go see this. If you love Will Ferrell, go see this. If your curious, go see this. Specific Rating(based out of 5 stars) ACTING:*** PLOT:*** MUSIC:**** CHARACTERS:**** ENDING:**** OVERALL:8 out of 10/Because of some slow weak parts,but otherwise...this movie is great fun,and a great afternoon or evening laugh.

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

Why does this get RAVED by critics and not 23?

[4/10 · 28 August 2007]

Now, i usually like the occasional thriller/psychological movies...but this was a disgrace to the actual book. Now i loved "The Number 23" with Jim Carrey,and I've been a supporter for a long time..but the serious question is...Why does this get RAVED by critics and not 23? At least The Number 23 had a good story and was a amazing feature,but this movie is TOO confusing and TOO ridiculous to stay focused and to put it at that....2 1/2 hours long!?! Im sorry to report,but if your like me...don't watch this movie. It will be good at first,but it will get to the point where everything starts spiraling down to the point where you just have to exclaim: "Whats going on?"

The Number 23 (2007)

A top notch thriller

[10/10 · 25 August 2007]

This movie not only shows Jim Carrey as a excellent actor,but also as a great timed movie star. This came at a amazing point in his career. This movie is based on the 23 enigma for example;9/11/2001 (9+1+1+2+0+0+1=23).

It is well written and well directed,along with some great small scenes of comedy and butt-loads of thrilling material. If you look closely,you will see more 23 sightings in the backgrounds and areas. But only if you look CLOSELY.

This movie is a great addition to your movie collection,i own it. Buy this if you haven't watched it.

Mind of Mencia (2005–2008)

Mind of Mencia-A unique show

[6/10 · 25 June 2007]

Perfect show! Now the people who don't like this show don't understand what he is doing. It is not a rip-off of Chapelle Show,its a completely different show. People don't like it for one reason: CARLOS MENCIA SPEAKS HIS MIND AND IS NOT AFRAID! LIVE WITH IT! If your low enough to rank on Mencia,i must call you by his legendary words.......Dee Dee Dee! This show is freakishly funny and fresh. And,plus if this show was as terrible as the people who post those messages........Mind of Mencia wouldn't have lasted this long....unlike Lil' Bush. A perfect show.....and sooner or later...this show will explode! And the show's racial comments and obscene jokes prove Carlos Mencia isn't afraid.

Employee of the Month (2006)

A Decent,Funny Movie with a good cast

[10/10 · 9 June 2007]

I know Jessica Simpson was horrible in this movie,but hey! What movie was she ever good in? Dane Cook does a good role,and Dax Shepard was what made me love this movie. He was hilarious,and the only movie i saw with him before Employee of the Month was Without A Paddle. Overall,a good movie suitable for at least six stars. I wonder why Dax didn't win a award for this movie. I also thought Efren Ramirez was hysterical. The movie is lacking some key elements of a good movie,but people take this movie too seriously....i mean,come on. Its just another PG-13 movie with a lot of rude remarks. But if you want to see a good movie with Dane Cook, Dax Shepard, Andy Dick and Harland Williams watch this movie.....you cant be disappointed.

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006)

Tenacious D are truly Rock LEGENDS!

[7/10 · 9 June 2007]

The movie is hilarious! If you didn't like this movie,that is your problem and your missing out on one of the most brought down movies of 2006. This movie was a musical,which sounds lame,and also with two fat guys,sounds even lamer right? Wrong. Tenacious D rock in this movie,with killer music, comedy, and even a car chase scene....you can leave the theater without saying "That was great!".The devil looked great,and so did Sasquatch. My favorite scene is when JB is high and thinks Sasquatch is his dad....classic!

This film is in my DVD collection and it will be there for a while....cause its the PICK OF DESTINY!