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Reviews
Blue Beetle (2023)
Parts were perfect
This movie was predictable, campy and suffered from glaring plot holes, but got damn it was fun to watch. Some moments were cinematic perfection, others had me physically angry.
What this movie does well, it has done better than any other DC movie. What it does poorly is still better than most of the DCU.
The score was amazing and most of the cast turned in fantastic performances.
I have very few complaints, it was funny relatable and sets up a sequel very nicely. I would definitely watch a sequel to this movie.
The end of the movie felt as cinematic as a gut wrenching cut scene from a masterpiece like Mass Effect.
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)
Had me in the first half
The first half of this movie was very hard to chew on. Some very awkward dialogue and storyline choices as well as problems with the continuity of the magical system. Spoiler free example: one of the powered characters is hit with an old wooden crate, and it absolutely demolished them through a wall. Realistically, with the level of their powers the crate should've shattered over them with the same effect of a light breeze. Another example, one powered character picks up another over their head in battle and loudly groans with the effort. You're telling me this person can punch a giant mystical beast through a building, but lifting a humanoid body is a problem?
However, the second half of the movie was decisively better. Really appreciated some of the cameos.
Honestly, I would like to see a part 3. However, there needs to be a human being in the screening that will point at a scene and be like "that's dumb" or "that doesn't make sense."
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Details make the magic
The good: This movie is clever, fresh, and full of heart. Small details, throw backs and nuggets of nostalgia make this a truly enjoyable experience. Found my self pointing at some obscure reference on the screen every few minutes.
The okay: The voice actors didn't quite sell me. Not that their performance were bad by any means, but it was hard to pair well known voices with the various character's personalities that I have only really known through sound bites while playing smash bros and other Nintendo installments for decades. I almost feel like a few roles could have been swapped, but I won't spoil it. You'll see what I mean when you watch.
*Quasi-spoilers ahead*
The bad: Not much for this category, but as much of modern animated full length movies, it follows a predictable arc of:
-someone doubts the hero
-hero doubts themselves
-calamity
-hero needs to rise to the occasion
-hero proves doubters wrong
-things have sure changed around here
You get the idea. Nevertheless, I would definitely recommend and will watch any sequel.
Black Adam (2022)
Tough to chew
The fight scenes were great. Wish the parts in between had the same level of care.
Some of the casting choices were bewildering, but not all of the supporting cast were hams. Some turned in great performances.
The Rock was not bad, the lines they gave him weren't always the best. Would like to see him reprise the role.
Aldis Hodge, and Pierce Brosnan were phenomenal. Especially Hodge. They turned in heartfelt moments, and conveyed true friendship. Could watch a prequel of just them meeting and going on their first missions.
Quintessa Swindell, Noah Centineo were also solid additions to the Justice society, albeit not as impactful as Hodge.
Bodhi Sabongui seemed very out of place and a lot of what they had his character do and say was baffling. For example, there's a moment where he is addressing a large crowd during a chaotic point of the movie, he seems like he's whispering, and had no intensity in his body which wouldn't fit the scenario at all.
I truly wanted to like this film, but there are several moments I just groaned in disappointment, paused the movie just to walk away for an hour or a day. It was tough to chew.
The Final Table (2018)
Other reviews don't make sense.
A lot of complaints I see have several flaws. But first things I agree with.
1. The host could be somewhat condescending and negative.
2. The countries could have been less predictable.
3. The finale winner was a little questionable, based solely on the prompt being to create a signature dish that takes risks.
4. There should have been more female chefs.
What I don't agree with:
1. Claiming a country as a whole has bad cuisine is incredibly ignorant. Especially when it came to countries like America with an incredibly diverse roster of dishes that originated there. Every country has good food and talented chefs.
2. Criticizing use of celebrity judges while ignoring the fact they were always paired with a food critic is dense. They have taste buds too, and can make relevant cultural commentary. Only a final table chef actually made the decision to send anyone home anyways.
3. Anyone who knows anything about the chefs on the final table would tell you how laughable it is to think they were somehow involved in a plot to pick a predetermined winner.
I would love a season 2, with a whole new list of countries and contestants.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Why are people mad?
This isn't the best show ever but it a total lie to act like the whole show is awful. There are indeed some great moments, the acting is good, and the animation isn't bad. I am enjoying the character progression, but I do hope they tighten up the writing. I have enjoyed the occasional comedic moments as well. Not too much humor injected, and good action sequences.
Side note: I also hope they undo the injustice that has been committed to my boy, Hulk. He was like that before the show started so I don't blame this series for the iniquities of Professor Crunch, but I want Agents of Smash or World War Hulk before the end of the series.
The Umbrella Academy: Kindest Cut (2022)
Stanley is the worst
The writing for Stanley is awful. This R-rated Bart Simpson attempt is the worst part of the season. He's the real reason the kugelblitz wants to destroy the world. The cleaning the hotel rooms with uncle Klaus was the last straw, but it kept going.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Fun saves bad plot
Bad plot holes and head scratchers, but hold on to your butts this movie is fun. The visual effects are amazing and the acting was great. DeWanda Wise As Kayla Watts was a great performance. Great action and a fell well timed laughs.
Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill (2022)
Some good laughs.
There are some good jokes, to say otherwise is just false. However, there were some dry parts and a few bad takes. On top of that, the audience was stiff. A big part of comedy is audience feedback and the audience low key sucked. It's hard to find a grove when you're giving good punchlines, and get nothing back.
Full Bloom (2020)
Judges aren't
Great concept, beautiful arrangements, bad execution.
All the other subpar reviews mention the judges, and I have to agree. They were my least favorite part of the show. Questionable decisions and clear favoritism.
My second least favorite part of the show was how eliminations came from whatever team lost the group challenges. This often lead to more deserving competitors going home premature.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Just wow
This movie is a masterpiece. Layered, funny, complex script performed by an amazing cast. The costumes, effects and comedy were fantastic. I was so incredibly satisfied at the end. Please see it, and take someone you love.
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)
Deserves more love
Not saying it's the best movie of all time but it was a fantastic movie. Surprisingly meta and honest is multiple moments. Good storytelling and mostly superb acting. The CIA aspect was the least polished but the star of the movie is the bromance between Pedro and Nic. Take a friend to see this, or see it alone. Either way you'll have a good time.
Steven Universe Future (2019)
For fans only
The original series had an undeniable charm. However, the new iteration left me often groaning over plot and dialogue choices. Young Steven somehow seems more mature than future Steven who unexplainably lost the ability to communicate his feelings or handle his emotions.
This tends to be the basis for most of the problems in each episode, which is at odds with the attempt to set an older tone, and address more mature issues.
It's great to spend more time watching some beloved characters, but the previous show had a great formula where they would solve problems over the course of an episode or arc. Unfortunately for this show, the problem is Steven.
Eternals (2021)
Struggle bus
This movie was hard to sit through. Some bright moments made the dull spots even more dry by contrast. The premise seemed to undermine the gravity of everything else in the MCU while still not being interesting enough to keep me from checking my phone. (Also why are the externals humanoids with regional accents?)
Cast turned in good individual performances but they didn't mesh. Like tomatoes and pickles go great on a sandwich, but not so great in a milkshake.
I think a few tweaks could have made this a classic.
The Wheel of Time: The Dragon Reborn (2021)
Best episode yet
Night and day improvement over episode one. A fantastic display of what this show can be. Great acting, FXs and plot. Since I haven't reached the character limit yet I'm just gonna reiterate the first episode was awful, and to go read all the books.
The Wheel of Time: Leavetaking (2021)
Pacing and plot
Pains me to write this, but if I was judging it compared to the book it would get a 1. However, overall I rated it higher because the actors had a few sparkling moments. The pacing was entirely too fast. Time was dedicated to needlessly pushing unnecessary plot that could have been dedicated to explaining crucial components that give context to why things are significant.